Nothing Takes Your Place
by DonttGettMeUpsett
Summary: "It's me…" my lips trembled. "..Bella." He opened his eyes wide. He looked so young, lost…scared. I wiped the tears from my face and sniffled. His eyes studied me closely. No...Please no.. "Don't you know who I am?"
1. Nothing You Can Say

**_NTYP Chapter 1_**

**_This is a Bella/Jacob story_**

**_ (but don't be surprised by vampire appearances)_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters ;)_**

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"Don't!" I spat at Edward. He released my arm and I ran after Jacob. How did this happen? Edward said that Jacob was checking to see if the woods were clear. He wasn't supposed to hear!

I caught up to Jacob who was literally hyperventilating and pacing, holding his face in his hands. This strong man should not be crumbling apart because of me. I'm nothing.

He stopped and took his hands from his face, but he was still looking down. At least he seemed to have gotten his breathing under control. I wanted him to look at me. Was he disgusted in me? Yeah I was going to be the wife of a leech, but did he really hate me now? Please. I couldn't bear it if he hated me.

"I have to go." He stated firmly.

Go where? Go fight? Now? After this? I don't think so.

"Don't go, Jake." Why didn't he look at me? If he would just look at me I could tell in his eyes if he still saw me the same. His best friend. Just Bells.

"I'm going now." He started to shift his feet, but I wasn't having any of this.

"Don't go! Please!" I begged him, dropping to my knees_._

I thought maybe he was considering my plea, the way he slowly looked up from his feet and directly at my tear-streaked face. He hadn't run. He stayed. He was listening to me. Maybe I could actually succeed…convince him not to fight.

"Please!" I could no longer contain the sobs that had been threatening to get loose. They quickly overtook my body as I lost control and wept before Jacob, on my knees, broken. Hopeless.

He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face away from me. I knew I must have looked pathetic to him. So needy. The usual pathetic, needy Bella. How could I ask anything of him anymore? What right did I have? He wasn't mine and I wasn't his, as Edward had just made perfectly clear back at the campsite. Edward. How could he? I didn't know If I could ever look at him the same again. I made it clear that I wanted to wait. Tell Jacob myself. No. Edward always had to go on and do what he thought was best.

"I'll do anything! Whate…any…just…Jake…" I panted, frantically trying to find the right words.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to face me. The expression...the look on his beautiful face. I would never forget it in a hundred years…a million years. It would haunt me for the rest of my miserable life. I couldn't believe the amount of pain I saw in those eyes. Those piercing, deep, chocolate brown, beautiful eyes. They looked so incredibly gentle but at the same time they stabbed me like a knife through my pounding heart. I loved those eyes. I know he tried so hard to hide the anger and agony held within which those eyes simply failed to conceal.

His lips trembled as I slowly inched toward him on my knees, arms outstretched for him. I needed to hold him. Apologize. Let him know I was feeling this with him. I was in agony, too. He wasn't alone.

I stretched out a few fingers and almost touched his right arm when I heard a sharp, loud voice that stopped me abruptly.

"Bella." The stern, angry sound was such a shock, my sobs stopped. I weakly forced myself to look up into his face. I couldn't breathe, couldn't cry, couldn't make myself do anything but stare. Stare at the most exotic, exquisite, gorgeous living creature I'd ever beheld.

"Don't touch me." He shot the words out quickly and meaningfully.

He really didn't want me to touch him.

I slapped a hand over my mouth, trying not to start crying again… and failing.

"I..I can't…It's okay." His voice was suddenly softer, gentle.

"What do you mean…? My voice sounding almost as if someone had my throat in their grasp.

"Don't...don't do that.." He turned away from me and looked down, shoulders sagging.

I began to stand slowly, contemplating whether I should lay my hands on him and stroke his back to comfort him. He obviously needed comforting. I needed comforting. Couldn't we just comfort each other? Why was it so complicated?

My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the vision in front of me. It was a vision all right. His shiny, textured hair that reminded me of the sky at midnight graced my sight. A few highlighted strands here and there, reminiscent of silver moonlight casting the night sky. The slight curves of his silky hair that turned into a sharp end, fell perfectly against his dark neck. It was longer than when he had first cut it, but not long enough to graze his shoulders. My eyes followed down over his strong back, and I couldn't help but take in the rounded muscles underneath his caramel skin. I continued down over the rest of his beautiful, smooth back and oh the dip of his….

"You can't touch me again…ever." His words tore me from my admiration, and I noticed he was breathing hard.

"This is it." He turned around quickly to look me in the eyes. Taking a few steps forward, causing me to stumble backward. He reached out to grab my hands but stopped himself. I noticed his eyes were red and glistening."

"I…I can't s-survive with without you…if I feel you..your touch again." He stuttered.

"What,,,huh,,,without…me?" I felt dizzy.

Was he saying he didn't want to see me again? How could I live without him? No. I couldn't. I wouldn't!

"NO! Don't say that. Please!" I begged him. I needed his touch. Ignoring the words he had just spoken, I closed the short space between us and threw my arms around his neck. I grabbed desperately at any part of him I could. The easiest and closest was his hair. Grabbing and pulling at his silky, shaggy strands that were sticking out at all angles now.

"Bella…no." He lowered his head into the crook of my neck and I thought I felt something warm and wet drop onto my skin. Suddenly, two heavy, chiseled arms shot up around me into a crushing embrace.

"Jake." I choked out when his amazing arms knocked the air out of me.

"I love you." I whispered breathlessly into his ear.

"No." He moaned into my neck.

"Yes." I reassured him. "Yes."

We held each other for what seemed like the longest time but not nearly long enough. It could have been eternity and it wouldn't have been long enough. I thought I heard a muffled "No." and a "Please." but I'm not sure. He was crying into me now, and gripping at the shirt against my back. I felt his teeth against my skin and his hot breath as he shakily took air in and out against me. Finally, I felt him begin to calm. Once his sobs stopped was when I realized my own wet face. I felt him slowly release me from his stronghold, feeling the cool breeze on my shoulder that was soaked from his sweet tears. I wanted to kill myself for causing him to shed even one.

Jacob raised his head completely from me, and I could see full on what I was doing to him. His eyes were swollen and red as they peered into mine His dark beautiful bangs swept over his forehead, now stuck there from sweat and tears.. Those smooth cheeks were flushed and so hot when I took his face in my hands. I couldn't bear to watch this strong, masculine man turn into sand when he was always a firm rock. He kept me together in so many ways so many times. He kept me from falling apart. I wasn't supposed to let him fall now.

It seemed like such a long amount of time had gone by. Though, I knew it couldn't have been more than 5 minutes that had passed. No. That means it wasn't over yet. The Newborns were still coming. Maybe they were already here. Maybe, just maybe Jake had missed the whole fight and he was safe here, with me. He wasn't going to get hurt, get injured because of me. Thank God. But wait, it had only been about 5 minutes. Would the fight be over and done with that quickly?

"I don't want you to fight." I spoke as calmly as I could, still holding Jake's precious face in my hands.

"I..I have to. I don't have a choice." He struggled to get the words out through his still uneven breathing.

"No you don't! They won't even miss you!." I practically screamed at him. "There are so many. You're only one! Don't go! Where's Sam? I'll beg him if I have to!."

"Why? So I won't get hurt? So I'll be safe like your precious lee…er…Edward?" He spat out venomously.

"Yes...No! Jake!" I collapsed onto the ground on all fours and dug my fingers into the dirt. I couldn't contain my frustration, sorrow and utter helplessness I felt. I was holding them back as best I could, but the dry heaves finally came and like a bitch.

Jacob dropped down, kneeling beside me.

"Calm down, calm down." He gently rubbed circles on my back.

"Jake!" Someone called from the trees. "It's starting!"

Jacob looked up, as did I. Seth was running toward us, dodging branches as he bolted from the forest.

"It's starting…come on! They're wondering where you are!" Seth grabbed Jacob's arm roughly, trying to pull him off the ground.

Jacob turned to me and swiftly took my dirty hand from the earth and intertwined our fingers. Seth was relentless as he continued yanking on Jacob's arm. I tried to catch my breath after what I knew must have just been the onset of a panic attack.

"I love you …Bella…I love you!" Jacob dropped my hand and it fell back into the dirt. It happened so fast. He kissed the top of my head and darted toward the trees, with Seth falling shortly behind. I didn't even have time to say anything. Was this goodbye? Was I going to see him again? What if…oh God…what if he got hurt? Even…died? No…I couldn't think of it.


	2. Nothing You Can Do

**_NTYP Chapter 2_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Plot's all mine ;)_**

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Previously...

"I love you …Bella…I love you!" Jacob dropped my hand and it fell back into the dirt. It happened so fast. He kissed the top of my head and darted toward the trees, with Seth falling shortly behind. I didn't even have time to say anything. Was this goodbye? Was I going to see him again? What if…oh God…what if he got hurt? Even…died? No…I couldn't think of it.

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Edward. I had to get back to Edward. He would be reading Seth's thoughts and would know what was going on. Wait, didn't Seth just run off with Jacob toward the fight?

I jumped up as if my body were just shot with adrenaline, and made my legs move as fast as they could toward the campsite.

"Edward! Edward!" I called out. Please let him be here. Where is he?

Just then, I saw a streak of movement and he was in front of me. I nearly collided with him. Panting and panicking, I tried to tell him what I wanted…what I _needed _to know. Was Jacob okay?

"Is Jacob okay? Please tell me Seth is near and that you know what's going on!" I begged Edward desperately.

"Bella, love, Seth isn't here." His voice was so calm, sweet and controlled. Why couldn't I be so controlled? I was a mess!

"Don't worry. Jacob is strong. He was made for this. The Newborns won't be expecting any of the wolves. Please, don't worry." He pulled me into a gentle embrace.

I had to admit, he made me feel a little better. After all, he was very experienced. Very…old. I wanted to believe he knew what he was talking about. I could trust his word, couldn't I?

He released me from the hug and turned to enter the tent, guiding me in with him. He sat down cross-legged and I just fell onto my stomach. Luckily, there was a sleeping bag to catch me. I didn't care or notice either way. All I could think about was Jacob.

Was he fighting yet? Was his mind clear enough to fight? What could I have done to stop him? I should have begged better, cried harder, scratched, hit him, done SOMETHING. Kiss….I should've kissed him. Would he have stayed, though? I'd have kissed him either way! Now what if I never see him again…what if he…dies? I would at least have had those warm lips to remember for the rest of my life. God…why didn't I kiss him? He would have let me. I knew it. He wouldn't have objected in the least. I blew it. I love him. So so much. I never let him kiss me before. I even hit him the one time he tried, and actually did, kiss me. Why did I do that? He was only trying to convince me not to become a stone-cold-undead-parasite.

While my thoughts were running away with me, Edward didn't make a sound. He seemed to be listening to something. Thoughts, maybe. But whose? Seth left with Jacob. I didn't know, nor did I care really. I was too busy trying to remember the beautiful face of my Quilieute friend while I still could. To remember him full of life, and happy. I had to hold onto this memory before I was faced to see him hurt or possibly even dead by the end of this battle. Yes, I would think of him as the old Jacob. I had to, to bring his face into my mind's eye. Not the face he had recently adopted, but the face I knew when we were just kids. When there were no monsters or magic. Just us two hanging out and no worries. I could remember us sitting on the hood of his Rabbit, listening to soft rock tunes and laughing about absolutely nothing, pizza in hand. Jacob would curse the little car and kick it beneath us with his foot, telling me the dreams he had for himself. He said he would one day have a nice car that I would be proud to ride in with him. He was so adorable, his bright, gorgeous smile displayed perfectly on his handsome face.

Though he had only left minutes ago, It felt as if I hadn't seen him in years. My heart craved his presence more than it ever had. I could see every feature of his face perfectly in my memory. Everything I could make out in complete detail. I was never aware of how much I actually noticed him. I could make out every crease and curve on him, as clearly as if he were right in front of me and I were studying him closely. Yes, I had always seen him, I just didn't fully open my eyes to him and understand what I was seeing. To have the ability to recall his perfection this vividly caught me by surprise. I was able to visualize how his hair moved from the slightest change in the breeze. The perfect line of his jaw. Nothing was foggy in my memories at all. I had no trouble remembering every single detail about him. His little quirks that were so SO adorable. The way he walked, his voice, his occasional swearing and the way he was quick to apologize, red faced. When he blushed it was so sweet. The way the ends of his hair tickled his neck entranced me, for reasons unknown. The way he seemed to never be uncomfortable that he barely wore any clothes around me. He didn't have one flaw…not of which I could see, anyway. Now that I saw him so clearly, I'd never take him for granted again.

"No…er…ugh" Edward started to mumble things and make sounds I didn't understand. Though I was sad to have been pulled from my Jacob trance, I really wanted to know what was happening to the people I loved down there who were selflessly fighting for my life.

"What, Edward? Can you see something?" This didn't make sense. I thought Seth had left. Edward didn't have any minds to read.

"Seth has been here for a few minutes now. He's outside. I've been listening…"Edward informed me.

"Well what's happening!" I jumped up from the excitement and initial fact that I could find out before the end result. I had to find out. Was everyone going to be okay? Were they defeating the Newborn army?

"Jacob's fine, Bella. We're killing…I" Edward frowned and pressed his fingers to his temple. He looked confused…and worried.

My stomach fell. It fell so hard and quick, It was like there was an anchor pulling me south. I felt lightheaded.

No. Please. No. No. No.

"What?" I asked, barely above a whisper. I didn't want to know, but I did. I hated this. I couldn't stand the anticipation.

Edward suddenly rose and flew to the opening of the tent. He stepped halfway out of the tent before he yelled, "Seth! Seth!"

Why was he calling for Seth? I thought he was here? Please somebody tell me what's going on!

"Tell me what's going on!" I screamed at Edward as I lunged toward him. I grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling at it and hitting him frantically, harder than I meant to.

Edward, not seeming phased at all by my ridiculous behavior and sudden violence, turned to me, "Seth's gone. I can't see anything. We're in the dark for now."

I couldn't speak. Why was Seth doing this to us? Where did he go? I needed him! Yes, I needed Seth!

I ran out of the tent and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Seth! Seth, please! I need you!" I cried out. I looked up to the sky, the clouds were there, threatening to cover the sun. The sun still beat down on me and I felt fear, love, desperation, loss, hope, and rage all at once. Jacob. My sun, is still down there I cannot bear this any longer. I must know what is happening to him! "Seth! I need you! Come back!" I fell to my knees in a heap of sobs.

"Bella!" Edward came at me quickly and pulled me up to stand. I didn't want to stand. "I need you to leave, hide somewhere!" I didn't want to hide. I didn't want to listen to anybody unless they would take me back to Jacob. My best friend. I love him now. I always had. I have to see him. Jacob.

"Bella, listen to me!" He shook me now, forcing me to wake up from my daze and look him in the eyes. Edward was so serious, yet he looked scared as hell. I would listen to him.

"She is coming. Do you hear me? Victoria is coming, I can hear her thoughts." Edward held my arms so tight I thought they'd break.

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**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, all! )**


	3. Nothing Like The Pain

_**NTYP Chapter 3**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Stephanie Meyer owns the characters xoxo**_

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"She is coming. Do you hear me? Victoria is coming, I can hear her thoughts." Edward held my arms so tight I thought they'd break.

"But..oh my guhh…" I knew I was going to faint. I could feel it. Scratch that, I couldn't feel _anything. _I drooped in Edwards arms and he shook me again.

"Listen, Bella! You need to leave! She caught my scent and she's coming! You need to run!" Edward was taking in unnecessary breaths quite hard now. He was so scared for me.

Run. Run where? I guess It didn't matter as long as I was away. Far, far away from here. Edward stiffened and then quickly relaxed, letting go of my arms. He turned quickly, holding me against his back, crouched in front of me in a protective stance.

"Go." he said sternly but quietly. "Go now!"

I looked around frantically, my head shot in every direction possible in less than a second. I let go of Edward's back and darted toward the forest. I had never ran so fast in my life. As I picked up more speed, my right leg hit a large rock and nearly sent me tumbling. A terrible, sharp pain shot up my leg. I fell to the ground and looked toward the forest. The trees were only a foot or so away. I had made it. I can pull myself up and get to the trees. Using my arms to push off the ground, I slowly stood up on my left leg. I couldn't put much weight on my right leg without a shot of mind numbing pain shocking me.

As quickly as I could, I limped my way to the trees. I felt a sense of relief that I was somewhat camouflaged behind green, though no amount of foliage could hide my scent. I stopped, panting, leaning against a large tree. I had to look back and see. Was Victoria going to kill Edward? Was she going to kill him, and then come looking for me? I turned and lifted my head to see around some bushes when I saw them. There were three. Three vampires. Edward was still where I had left him, but Victoria and some male vampire were slowly stalking toward him. They were talking, but I could barely hear them. I couldn't watch. I looked down at my leg in search for the cause of the sharp pain that was still screaming for my attention. My jeans at my right knee were torn and soaked in blood. Through the tear in my jeans, I could see some skin that looked like it had been through a meat grinder. I tried to straighten my leg and it didn't want to. I bit my lip in an attempt to not scream from the pain. It really can't be broken, not at a time like this.

I had to keep going, no matter what kind of pain I was in. I couldn't die. I had to see Jacob again. What a horrible person I was, putting two men's lives in danger. Two men who loved me more than was considered healthy. I shoved myself away from the tree that had been supporting me. I started quickly through the forest, moaning and grunting through the pain my leg was causing me. It would be so much easier if forests had less things to dodge.

The pain was getting worse. I knew my leg couldn't be broken or I wouldn't even be able to limp, so that was a relief. It was just so frustrating that I couldn't run. Surely Victoria would be on her way to find me. Edward would be…oh God…dead…and the male vampire would be after me, too. I tried not to think of Edward being dead. It made me want to sink to the ground, hold myself and cry until Victoria found me and slowly ripped me to pieces with her teeth. I could bear it. The pain of her teeth shooting venom into me could never compare to the pain of knowing Edward was dead.

I kept walking…no…limping further and further into the forest at a pace I thought was pretty impressive considering my injury. I felt like I was getting somewhere, at least. It had been less than five minutes when I heard something. I heard yelling. It was faint, but it was definitely yelling and what sounded like porcelain breaking. Mixed in with the other sounds were the unmistakable roars of wolves. My heart fluttered in my chest. It wasn't a good flutter. I had to find Jacob. I had to see he was alright.

I kept clumsily, painfully, walking toward the sounds of the fight at an even pace. Every step I took with my right leg made me want to scream. I could deal with the pain. I just had to get to Jacob. He mattered more to me than my leg. I couldn't help Edward, but I could find Jacob. I could find him and tell him I couldn't live without him. I was going to tell Edward goodbye. The guilt that I was going to leave Edward and now he was facing death at Victoria's hand (BECAUSE OF ME) made me feel like shit. I was the worst girlfriend anybody, or any monster, could have.

Terrified and trembling, I finally could make out the blurs of the soldiers. Despite the excruciating pain pounding in my leg, I quickened my steps. I could see the wolves, literally flying through the air sometimes, clamping heads between their teeth and snapping them right off. There weren't very many now, I think it was almost over. Thank God. Please, just let it be over.

As I approached the clearing, I noticed something strange. My friends, the Cullens, whom were like family to me, were all there. The whole pack of wolves were there too, including Seth. Why did he leave us and come here? Did he fight too? He was sitting cross-legged and rubbing his shoulder with a pained expression on his face. He was hurt. He should've stayed with me and Edward. It was too dangerous for young Seth to fight the Newborns. It was a miracle he'd survived.

My attention moved back to the Cullens. They weren't fighting. Paul-wolf was busy taking down the last Newborn, so I guessed there was no need for them to be fighting. It was over. Then, what exactly were they doing? Didn't they smell me? Why didn't they come to me, tell me everything was alright. Why wasn't Carlisle making this damn pain in my leg go away already? They were huddled together on the ground, Carlisle moving his arms quickly over something or someone. Esme was holding a hand, a dark hand. What…? Then she shifted backward, and I saw him. My Jacob was laying there, so lifeless, blood trailing out of his mouth. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This was not real. It was a nightmare. Soon, I would wake up in the tent and none of this would be.

"Bella!" It was a man's strained, sad voice. I hadn't even realized i had collapsed until Paul lifted my crumpled body from the ground.

"Ja-ake! Ja-ake!" I cried. I knew he would hear me, and he'd wake up. Of course he would. He knew how much I needed him. Didn't he?

Paul held me in his arms and like a faucet being turned off, I stopped screaming and crying. It's like my voice died along with Jacob. I couldn't find it. It was gone and sowas my Jacob. Oh Jake, I just wanted you to know that I chose you.

Paul carried me to the terrible scene. I didn't want to look. I couldn't breathe. Paul couldn't be so terrible as to make me look at Jacob's dead body! Bleeding, torn, bruised, beaten, and dead (BECAUSE OF ME). The tears were gushing from my eyes as I nuzzled my face into Paul's shoulder. I refused to look down at my bleeding love.

I took three deep breaths before I made the decision to take a look. The first thing I noticed was Jacob's chest. Although very subtle, it was moving up and down. He was breathing. I thanked God a thousand times for that. His body was covered in sweat and dirt. I'd never seen Jacob with a physical wound in his life, not even a paper cut. Paul let me down, but I tried to keep myself from looking at Jacob. I leaned my forehead against Paul's chest, trying to compose myself as best I could. I needed to gain control of myself, my sanity, for Jacob's sake. He was breathing and would pull through, no matter the injuries he had sustained. I had to be strong for him, to get him through this. Jacob was alive and that's all that mattered.

"The venom is spreading rapidly. I believe it's too late. I can barely hear his heart beat," Carlisle spoke in a low tone, obviously trying to keep me from hearing the grave information.

Venom? Oh God, one of the Newborns bit my Jacob? No! He was going to live! He was supposed to live! I only saw cuts, scrapes, bruises, a small gash on his leg…but wolves heal so fast. I turned away from Paul and his arms that attempted to comfort me.. I fell to Jacob's side and flung myself onto his still body, forcing Carlisle to back away. I guessed he knew I needed this moment with Jacob. We all knew, no matter how hard it was to accept, that this was goodbye. There was no need to ask anyone for help, or ask any questions at all. There was nothing but silence between the Cullens and Quilieutes as I frantically caressed the broken body of my once powerful friend. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks to my stomach. Vampire venom is fatal to Shapeshifters. I felt myself becoming physically ill as the facts sank in.

"Jake…" I sobbed against him, my lips open against his dirty cheek that was wet with his sweat and now my tears. "Jake…Ja…don't leave me.." my tears drenched my friend's beautiful face, running down his neck and mixing with the blood still slowly leaking from his mouth.

A cold hand touched my shoulder. I didn't care to see who it was. They wouldn't be able to pull me away from Jacob, even if my life depended on it. My life didn't matter to me anymore, anyway. Nothing mattered now that I was losing my best friend.

I felt Jacob trembling beneath me…or was that me? I was crying so hard, I could easily have been making his body shake with mine. Then, I felt a sudden jerk under me…..then another one. Once again, another jerk, but more violent this time. I lifted my face from where it had been nestled against his cheek. Though it was so hard to do for fear of what I'd see, I opened my stinging eyes and peered down into his face. His eyes were moving wildly under his lids. He parted his lips and let out a weak moan with each jerk of his body.

"Bella, I think it's best you lea…" Edward's voice filled my ears, but for the first time, it wasn't comforting. I guessed he killed Victoria, but I wasn't worried about her right then.

"No, Edward. I…I'm …n-not leaving… h-him!" I choked on my words, but managed to get them all out. I placed my hands on either side of Jacob's face, his breathing was erratic now. He made the most terrifying guttural noise I'd ever heard, and his eyes fluttered open.

"Jake!" I screamed at him and held his face tighter. "Oh my God, Jake, look at me!" His dark eyes, half hooded, rolled around in a daze, refusing to focus.

I was barely aware of the surroundings as I tried to get a response from my friend. I heard voices, people talking, but it was just background noise. I couldn't make out a word that was being said behind me, but I wasn't trying to. Jacob was in my hands, getting weaker by the second. Something had to be done. He had to be in so much pain, but he was so far gone, it was hard to tell. I couldn't bear to watch this any longer. My mind began to race with ideas, searching for solutions that could release my friend from this slow, burning torture. Then it hit me.

"Edward, you have to suck it out!"


	4. I Feel For You

**_NTYP Chapter 4_**

**_DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyers owns the characters xoxo_**

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**"Edward, you have to suck it out!" **

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I turned around, my eyes scanning over the many golden eyes before me, searching for the right pair. I saw them, beautiful and glowing right into my soul. Immediately upon meeting his gaze, I stood to my feet and unsteadily shuffled toward him. I took hold of his arm and with all the strength left In my body, limped back over to Jacob with Edward in tow. I fell to the ground beside my suffering friend, bringing Edward down with me.

"You have to do it. I know you can stop! You did with me, remember? He would taste gross to you, anyway, right? Just suck it out!" I was hyperventilating, and the dizziness in my head never ceased. I felt new tears begin to spill from my eyes as I begged for Edward's help. When did a person finally run out of tears? God.

"Bella, it won't help…." Edward began, but I wouldn't let him finish. I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to Jacob's face.

"Get it out of him!" I didn't feel bad for my impulsiveness. I was desperate. Edward jerked his head away from me.

"I said it won't work. Look, he's convulsing. Even if I sucked it out, the damage is done." Edward spoke the cruel words without hesitation, but I was aware of the sympathy in his tone.

Jacob's eyes were closed now, chest heaving and his lungs fighting for air. He let out a low groan with each violent jerk of his body. I placed my hand on his cheek, sliding it down across his neck over and over again as he choked on more blood that gushed from his mouth.

My hand slid over something that didn't feel right. I had been so overcome by my emotions and the terror of it all, I hadn't noticed the hideous, jagged, bleeding wound that was a couple inches below his ear. Carefully, I moved the strands of wet hair that had been partially hiding the crescent mark. I quickly turned Jake's head to the side as he purged another large amount of blood, trying to keep him from choking but unsure if I helped. I turned to Edward, pleading him with my eyes.

"Please…" I barely whispered, but I knew he heard me because he sighed. Of course he could hear me, he was a freakin vampire.

Just then, Edward's cold hands removed mine from Jacob and he gently pushed me back and away. He placed one cold hand behind Jacob's head and used the other to swipe the teen's matted hair out of the way. I watched in amazement and wonder as my sweet vampire wrapped his lips around the half-moon shaped, bloody wound on my friend's neck. As Edward drew in the blood and venom mixture, Jacob let out a high-pitched whine/moan.

I brought my clenched fist to my mouth and bit so hard on my hand I thought I'd break skin. I was so afraid Edward's sharp teeth would shoot more venom into Jacob's bloodstream, and I shuddered at the thought. _ Please be careful, Edward. Please._

I watched as Edward's cheeks sunk in with each suction against my best friend's throat. Blood began to creep down the corner of Edward's lips, running slowly down his snow-white jaw. His eyes were closed tight and he pulled Jacob closer, hiding his face within the crook of Jacob's neck.

Jacob weakly and continually let out groans of pain and agony with each draw of blood Edward took from him...his body still splayed as if lifeless, unmoving, except for the uncontrolled jerking and the occasional expression of discomfort that would flash across his perfect face.

As I watched, I felt an ice cold arm wrap around my waist. Esme held me closely and leaned her head against my own. I welcomed this, even though I wasn't in the mood for comforting. I knew she loved me like a daughter, so I would let her feel as though she were needed at this moment. Alice appeared at my other side. Sorrow filled her eyes as she looked at me with the utmost pity. I put an arm around my freezing vampire friend when suddenly I heard a broken, ear-piercing cry. I shot my head toward the horrific sound. Jacob shrieked again, his head hanging to the side as Edward continued his tenacious vacuuming.

"He's sucking him dry!" I heard Embry screech from behind me.

"Yeah man, get him the fuck off of Jake!" Jared shoved Carlisle's shoulder hard enough to send him stumbling forward a bit. The blonde vampire spun around to face the pack and looked into their furious faces, replying;

"Just one more minute, and we'll see what the outcome is. Please, trust us. We don't want to hurt him more than he already is."

That one minute seemed to never pass as we all silently watched the beautiful vampire extract the thick, hot liquid from the beautiful Indian boy. I was surprised he hadn't spit any of it out. After all, it couldn't have tasted good to him, but that's Edward for you. He was so good, he couldn't waste time spitting out. I knew he wanted to save Jacob for my sake and it made me almost smile with admiration for my vampire boyfriend.

Though my gratefulness to Edward was filling my thoughts, I couldn't allow myself to smile. To smile for any reason at a time like this just seemed wrong. Jacob's skin looked as if it were becoming paler and paler by the second. His breathing was almost non-existent. My heart felt like a heavy stone in the center of my chest. My stomach ached and twisted as I observed Jacob's face, his eyes clamped tightly shut. _He must be in so much pain_.

Then suddenly without warning, Carlisle blew fast past me. In a flash, he was standing beside Edward and the fragile, moaning young man. He rested a hand on Edward's shoulder, gripping it tight with his fingers.

"Alright, son. That's enough," and with a loud gasp as if he actually needed to breathe, Edward withdrew himself, lowering Jacob's head back to the ground.

Carlisle leaned down and snatched Jacob's wrist, pressing with fingers in search for his pulse. With his other hand, he gently pulled back the lids of Jacob's eyes with his thumb and middle finger. I searched the Doc's face for any clues to my best friend's condition. Unfortunately, I wasn't the best at reading expressions.

He dropped Jacob's hand, bringing himself to stand. He didn't look away from the battered body when he said, "I don't know if he'll make it. His body temperature is much too low and his pulse is very weak. We need to get him to the house, quickly."

Without hesitation, Emmett, Jasper, and The Pack brothers hurled toward the marred body. After a few seconds of arguing over who was going to carry him, it was finally decided the vampires would get him home faster. Leah, displeased at the sight, threw a large t-shirt over Jacob's privates. I guessed she had gotten it from one of the Quilieute boys' bags that they tied to their legs when in wolf-form.

Emmett walked around to Jacob, who was no longer convulsing, and placed a hand under each shoulder. Jasper quickly lifted the large legs from the ground, Emmett meeting him in time. In an instant, they were gone. Everyone was gone except for myself, Edward, and The Pack who were simultaneously phasing and darting fast toward the woods.

"Thank you, Edward," I breathed as I saw the light slowly give way to the darkness.

* * *

Beep, beep, beep, was all I heard when the darkness faded back into light. As my lids slowly parted, and my blurred vision became clearer, I could make out nothing but white. White was everywhere. Then I realized it was a ceiling. The room was lit, but there was no natural light coming in from the windows, so I guessed it was night. I was home….well, I was at_ somebody'_s home.

The last thing I remembered was Jacob being carried away, then me thanking Edward as his arms wrapped around me. I don't remember what happened after that. I must have blacked out…fainted. All I was aware of now was my pounding head, that beeping sound, and my knee that didn't hurt so much anymore. I closed my eyes, sleep wanting to recapture me. I was so exhausted.

"Hey.." I heard a smooth, familiar, comforting voice. It was a lovely melody to my ears. I turned my head to the left, cheek against the pillow. I saw Edward sitting in a chair that was against the wall. He gave me a sweet, crooked smile before I let my eyes wander away from him. I took a moment to glance over the room, recognizing it as Carlisle and Esme's. As I continued taking in my surroundings, I turned my head to the right, searching for the source of the beeping. That's when I saw him. He was in what looked like a hospital bed, just feet away from me. I abruptly sat up in what looked like an identical bed as the one Jacob was in. I moved the white sheet off of me and it fell to the floor.

"How long have we been here?" I asked Edward as I slowly swung my legs over the hospital bed. It amazed me how Carlisle had practically everything a hospital did in his own house.

"Approximately four hours." He stood and walked toward me, taking my hands in his. "You should stay in bed until your leg heals.."

"My leg is just fine, thank you." I pulled my hands away from his and gripped the cold railing of the bed.

Slowly, I brought myself to stand on my own. Edward held his hands out just in case I lost balance. My injured leg gave just a little from the weight applied to it, but I managed to stay upright. The pain wasn't there, but something wasn't right. Something was out of place, maybe. It was as if Edward read my mind.

"It's not broken, but you dislocated your knee. It relocated on it's own, though. You won't be able to walk for a few weeks without great difficulty, so please Bella, get back in the bed." He was probably right. Well if it were up to me, I would try to walk on it anyway. I needed to listen to his advice, though, since if I tried to follow my own, I'd end up hurting myself worse as usual. I really dreaded the thought of staying in a bed for any amount of time when all I wanted to do was run to Jacob and hold him in my arms all night, every night.

"Is Jake okay?" I asked as Edward placed several kisses on my forehead.

He stopped at my question, leaned back and intensely looked at me with an emotionless expression. "You need to stay in bed if you want to get well." The gold seemed to almost swirl as the vampire's eyes bore into mine. My breath caught in my chest as I watched the slow movement in his iris that may have been my own eyes playing tricks. I could feel my mouth gaping wide as I stared. When he unnecessarily blinked, I awoke from my Edward trance with a gasp. He really needed to stop doing that to me.

Edward helped me back onto the bed, lovingly placing my head down against the pillow. He then lifted the sheet from the floor and told me he'd get me a clean one. With that, he left the room, leaving my question unanswered. On the side table next to me, I saw a couple of yellow bottles. Pain medicine I supposed, since I no longer was in any discomfort from my knee.

The door swung open and faster than I could even see it happen, Edward draped a clean sheet over my body. He kissed my cheek and told me to rest, then turned and left again, shutting the door behind him. I reached down, doing sort of a crunch with my torso, and felt my knee with my hand. The fact that I was wearing a night gown, probably Alice's, made this task easy for me. My knee was bandaged up pretty well. I sighed and allowed myself to sink into the bed and pillow. It was nice to be comfortable again after what took place earlier. I wondered what happened with Victoria and that other vampire guy..?

The beeping sound suddenly caught my attention. I looked to see it was a cardiac monitor. I stared at the zig-zags that proved Jacob's heart was still beating, and I felt relief and fear at the same time. My eyes finally moved over to Jacob. There was what looked like a tube in his mouth...I followed it to a machine that I recognized to be a ventilator. He couldn't breathe on his own? My chest constricted at the thought of Jacob fighting for air. His hair was still wet, and sweat covered the parts of his body that were visible. A white sheet was pulled up just to his chest, and it seemed to glow against his dark skin. The dirt and blood, I noticed, had been removed from his body.

I laid on my side, watching him, not allowing myself to blink. He looked so at peace. The fact he was no longer suffering brought me more joy than I had ever felt. My eyes began to droop after a while, and I let out a sigh. I silently told Jacob I loved him and allowed my eyes to close.


	5. Nothing In Between

**NTYP Chapter 5**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyers owns the characters...but I wish I owned Jacob hehe ;)**

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I laid on my side, watching him, not allowing myself to blink. He looked so at peace. The fact he was no longer suffering brought me more joy than I had ever felt. My eyes began to droop after a while, and I let out a sigh. I silently told Jacob I loved him and allowed my eyes to close.**

* * *

My body jumped at the sound of the door opening suddenly. I remained on my side, but watched as my boyfriend's father walked to the side of Jacob's bed. He didn't seem to notice I was awake, or maybe he knew but didn't acknowledge it. Carlisle worked swiftly as he removed soaked gauze from my friend's wounds, quickly replacing them. I watched as he injected something into the drip bag, then he turned. I blinked rapidly and looked away, trying not to look as though I had been secretly watching.

"Bella, how are you feeling?" Carlisle gave me a kind smile and nodded toward my knee.

"Oh, I'm …alright. But Jake…will he..?"

"He is very weak, very sick right now." Carlisle filled me in. "Vampire venom is known to be extremely damaging to Jacob's kind, so I'm amazed that he is still with us. There was extensive internal bleeding, but the removal of the venom allowed his body's outstanding healing abilities get the bleeding under control. Still, I had to clear his lungs of the blood he aspirated. I've also noticed his healing is slowing down...perhaps a result from his weakened state. Some of his wounds have stopped healing altogether."

"How long has he been...like this?" I watched Jacob, completely distraught.

"Shortly after we arrived, he stopped breathing. His heart was failing..."

"Do you know if he'll ever be..." It was so hard to say it, "...will he be...is he brain dead?"

His face changed and he looked down. "He hasn't responded to anyone's attempts at waking him. He hasn't opened his eyes, or even made a noise." Carlisle looked up and smiled at me again, though it was only a half smile this time. "We will just have to wait."

"How long." I breathed, feeling the familiar sting behind my eyes.

"It is hard to say, considering we don't know the extent of his brain damage at this time. He's different neurologically than humans, and I'm not familiar in treating his kind, so we'll have to play the waiting game with this one." Carlisle took my hand in his. "Bella, he may…not…well.." He cleared his throat, for some reason before he continued. "…he may never wake."

The reality of the situation finally sank in.

I was frozen as I stared at Carlisle. His body began to sway in a strange zigzag motion before completely blurring out. The room spun and seemed to implode and I squeezed my eyes shut. I gripped the sheets in my fists and my joints seemed to lock. The more I tried to move, the stiffer I felt. I threw my head back as my stomach contorted and my heart dropped over and over. My body fought a battle it couldn't win as my lungs refused to inflate and my body refused not to hyperventilate. Was it even possible for someone to survive this feeling?

My throat strained as a crazed, gruff moan escaped me and I grabbed the bed railing. I felt my stomach violently churn and I winced at the pain and nausea. I flung my head over the side of the bed as bile began to drip from my open mouth. I felt several arms grab me from all sides, but I didn't open my eyes. All I could hear were the horrific words Carlisle had spoken to me of Jake never waking up, replaying over and over in my head. I could hear shouting from several voices, but it sounded as if they were at the end of a tunnel.

"What's going on!"

"I just told her…"

"No!"

"What?"

"Jasper, work your magic will you..."

"I'm trying..!"

"Hold her still!"

"Okay,…now!"

I felt something sharp stick my arm, but I could barely register the pinch through everything else I was feeling. The hurt in my heart was so much worse than any physical pain imaginable. I wanted to beg someone to kill me, drive a knife through my heart or something, but I couldn't get a word out. My body sagged against the safety railing of the bed. Everything went black, again.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"Leave, I've got her!" My family left the room as I scooped Bella into my arms and repositioned her into a comfortable position in the bed. I found some tissue and wiped the bile from the side of her mouth and chin. I tossed it in the trash can by the door, and quickly returned to her side.

Gently, taking my time, I brushed a few shiny, brown strands of hair from her face with my fingers and leaned in to kiss her eyelids. She was so warm against my touch. I was addicted to the feeling. After all, it was the only warmth I could feel from anyone's touch. How was I so amazingly lucky to have a human girl when I was a disgusting abomination?

"My sweet, delicate Bella..."

I placed a hand over her heart just to feel each beat. I knew If I were human I'd be experiencing that common thing that happens when you are overwhelmed with emotions. Sometimes I wished that I could cry. Actually, I still could. I could cry, I just couldn't show anything for it. What I wouldn't give to see one of my own tears against my love's skin.

"Please stay strong for me, Bella. I love you. Stay strong for….for Jacob. He needs you right now." I looked up over to Jacob who looked like a rag doll. A very large rag doll. I walked to his side and took in his appearance. I leaned in closely to see the crescent shape on his neck, but it was bandaged. My eyes moved over to his face. Beads of sweat were running down his temple, which explained why his hair was constantly wet. The boy was running an insane temperature. His bangs were almost over his eyes, so I awkwardly wiped them aside for him, though he'd never know of the small gesture. I couldn't make myself feel anything negative toward him right now. My Bella loved him so much.

"You…will you …." I felt almost embarrassed talking to an unconscious adversary of mine as if he could hear me. "Jacob," I lifted his lifeless hand and gave it a squeeze. "..wake up for my Bella."

I didn't expect to get a response from him, and I didn't get one. My head began to ache as his jumbled thoughts kept shouting at me. His brain activity was scrambled, and once in a while, I could make out some things that made a little sense. His mind was filled with random, short but clear thoughts. Even with all the words running through Jacob's head at a rapid, unorganized speed, I couldn't block them out. They were as loud as ever.

_ Bella's smile - devour her mouth - in love - more food - engine oil f__ucked up clothes __ - damn Paul - the last hot dog __ - keep Bella safe - jelly beans - I hate that mother-fucking bloodsucker- _

God, sometimes I hated the ability to read minds. I realized these were just memories his brain had locked away somewhere. He probably couldn't understand anything his mind delved up. It was insane that he had any brain activity going on at all, though. I combed my hair with my fingers, turned and headed for the door. Before I could exit, a thought came to me. I turned back around, looking at the two identical beds that were side by side in the large bedroom. I knew what I needed to do for Bella, and so I dropped my hand from the door handle and proceeded back to my love and my enemy.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

Darkness. Darkness and heat. So much heat. Someone had my hand, and their skin burned me like fire. I opened my eyes groggily, and squinted at the light coming through the window. I strained my head up from my pillow to see who was touching me, and why it was so ridiculously HOT. That's when I saw I was practically in bed with Jacob.

Our right hands were together, fingers entwined just like they were before he said he loved me and ran off to fight. I blinked the blurriness from my eyes and stared at our hands. I realized his fingers weren't holding mine tight, they were just there. Someone had put us together like this. My eyes followed up his arm and to his face , his head tilting slightly toward me, eyes closed.

A chill ran through me despite the outrageous heat that radiated from Jacob. I noticed that I was still in the same bed, it had just been moved. Now our beds were touching, and the rails were gone. Nothing was separating Jacob and myself. If I had to spend any amount of time in bed while my knee healed, this is exactly how I wished to spend it.

In my excitement to be so near him, I squeezed his hand and turned on my side. Scooting as close to him as I could, I felt something under the sheets, so I pulled them down, revealing a tube leading into his side. A feeding tube...

Propping myself up on one arm, I carefully lowered my head onto his shoulder. I placed my left hand over his heart, relishing in the feeling of his searing skin against my palm. Then, I couldn't help but kiss the bandage that was hiding the bleeding wound on his neck.

As I relished in the feeling of his thumping heart against my hand, I clung tightly to him like he were a life raft. Without realizing it, I had begun singing a song we used to goofily sing together in his garage. The memory of that made me giggle as I continued quietly singing to him. "…and I, I've got to be strong. Just keep pushing on.." a tear trickled down my face and onto Jacob's shoulder.

_Stop crying, _I said to myself. _Whether I get to hold him for the rest of my life or if this is the last time, I will not feel sorrow, but only love._ _Today I will have hope, because Jacob would want me to._

I quickly wiped the tears from my face and tried to wipe his shoulder dry with my hand. That didn't really work, but oh well. Still on my side, I nestled myself snugly beside him, curling into him in an effort to be closer. I pressed my lips against his skin, my nose tickling his arm. I wouldn't cry today, I promised myself, not today. I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

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**A/N: Oh how I'd love to breathe Jacob in...mmmm ;D**

**review if you want! I love to hear from you xoxo**


	6. You Know The Truth

**NTYP Chapter 6**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters**

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_** I nestled myself snugly beside him, curling into him in an effort to be closer. I pressed my lips against his skin, my nose tickling his arm. I wouldn't cry today, I promised myself, not today. I closed my eyes and breathed him in.**_

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"Oh God, she's sleeping with him!"

"Shut up, Quil! You'll wake her.."

I nearly jumped out of my skin when the booming voices woke me from my slumber. "Huh, what…?" I mumbled, half asleep. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, only to reveal several large, dark, brawny men standing before me, their eyes wide and aware. On instinct, I grabbed the sheet that Jacob and I shared and pulled it up to hide myself. Guess I just wasn't used to a bunch of guys looking at me in my night clothes, especially _Alice's _kind of night clothes…

"Chill, Bella. It's just us," Embry laughed and the rest of the guys joined in…except for Sam.

"Knock it off, all of you," Sam gave the order and it was promptly obeyed.

Leah, standing by the door, arms crossed, just rolled her eyes.

"Bella, would you like us to leave?" Sam was serious and wasn't at all amused by…well…whatever the other guys were amused by.

I looked at Sam wide-eyed before I shook my head fast, "No no, it's okay. I just was startled that's all." I dropped the sheet, embarrassed at how I'd reacted.

"We just came to check on Jake," Paul stated.

"I can't wait to tell him he slept with Bella when he wakes up!" Jared chimed in with a huge smile on his face.

"Um, yeah…about that." _Here it goes, just say it, Bella. Be strong for Jake, Bella. He always said you were strong. Prove it. _"He might not wake up." _It's a lie, Bella. He's going to wake up. _ I said the words with my eyes closed, scared to see their reactions. When I didn't hear anything, I opened them and looked up.

"We know, Bella," Sam replied, a sad look taking over the stern one he usually wore. "The Doctor…Carlos…er"

"Carlisle" I corrected him.

"Yes, Carlisle…told us everything. He asked us if we wanted to, well.." His eyebrows furrowed and he looked at Jacob.

"Sam? What did he ask?" The way he was acting meant this couldn't be good. Also, the faces of the Quileute boys no longer held smiles, but now looked as though they were at a funeral.

"He asked if we planned on keeping him on life-support or if we wanted to…" Sam looked at me with the saddest eyes, "..to let him go"

"WHAT?" Seriously, what did he just say? My ears literally ached with what they heard. My breathing quickened and I began to see the black hole coming closer. I felt myself fighting the dizziness, again.

"What about Billy?" I screeched, "Isn't he going to ask Billy?"

"He asked Billy," Sam pursed his lips. "It was hard for him, Bella. He didn't want to be the one to make the decision. He trusts mine and the pack's judgement."

"Sam," I breathed, "what did you tell Carlisle."

"I told him hell no! Jake's gonna wake up any minute, just wait." Jared shouted. "Right guys? He's gonna wake up."

"Yeah. That's right, Jare, sure," Embry replied, but obviously not believing it.

I flung myself onto Jacob, ignoring whether or not I was careful about it. There was no way they were going to take him from me. I'd keep him any way I could...alive, hurt, or unconscious…but they weren't going to bury him in the ground where I could never see or feel him again!

"No! I won't let you!" My hair was in Jacob's face, but I didn't notice. I held him to me as tight as I could and glared up at Sam. "Don't even try to take him from me," I warned anyone who was listening.

"He's not brain dead," everyone looked toward the bedroom door to see who spoke, though I already knew who the voice belonged to.

Leah stepped out of the way as Edward walked passed her, cutting through the crowd of muscular men, and stopping when he got to me. "His thoughts are loud…not always clear, but there."

"Oh…" I sighed and dropped my head onto Jacob's stomach. An overwhelming feeling of relief swept over me and I felt the sting in my eyes. I quickly blinked the tears away as I remembered the promise I made to myself earlier.

"Edward…why…what…?" I stuttered, remembering the way I found myself and Jacob that morning. He replied before I could get the rest of my question out.

"I thought you'd want to be near him," _I swear he can read my thoughts. _He shot me that beautiful crooked smile. "..but if I was wrong.."

"NO! It's…it's great. Thank you, Edward." I returned the smile and placed my cheek back against Jacob's burning stomach.

"Did you tell the Doctor this information?" Sam, rather angrily, questioned Edward.

"He knows, but the chances of him coming out of this after the venom infected his brain, is unlikely…"

"Why didn't you tell me this?" I almost screamed, sitting up and caressing Jacob's face fervently.

"Bella, he can't breathe on his own, can't eat. Don't you realize the magnitude of his condition?" His words made me feel stupid. "Yes, he has an infection in his brain. That's why he is in a coma. The venom seems to have slowed down his rapid healing, as well..."

"You said he still has brain activity…" Sam interrupted, sounding slightly less angry and more hopeful.

"Yes, but mild," Edward responded. "Most of his thoughts don't make any sense. Also, his memories seem to be fading."

"Well can he hear me?" I asked Edward. _Please let him be able to hear m_e.

"I don't know that," His tone was low and quiet, barely audible. "..but it wouldn't hurt to talk to him."

I nodded and traced my fingers across Jacob's smooth chest.

Edward looked over to Seth who was plopped in the chair sitting against the wall.

"How's your arm, Seth?" Edward was always concerned for others.

"Eh, it's alright. Thanks for asking.." Seth massaged his shoulder and grimaced.

"Stupid boy shouldn't have got involved. Seth, I told you to stay with Edward and Bella.." Sam's deep, powerful voice even had me frightened for a minute.

"I just wanted to watch! I didn't think anything would happen. It's not as fun seeing the action through someone else's head…" Seth whined.

Sam's angry expression never wavered. "You're lucky Jacob got to you and that Newborn before any real damage was done."

Seth hung his head in shame.

"Well, we'll wait a while and see if he comes around before we make any rash decisions," Sam walked around the bed to Jacob's side and placed a hand on his head. "Stay with us. We're all waiting for you. Believe it or not, we do miss you, smart-ass," Sam half-smiled.

Sam and the pack said their goodbyes, aside from Leah who left before anyone even noticed.

* * *

The room was so quiet after the pack left the three of us alone. Once again, the only sounds that could be heard were the hospital machines, and mine and Jacob's beating hearts.

I sat up, forcing myself to finally let go of Jacob. Edward pulled a chair over to the bed, sat down and took my hand in his. We sat there in the quiet for some time before he finally broke the silence.

"Bella, tell me what you're thinking." His soft, melodic voice made my stomach tingle.

"I'm thinking I love you…and.." I stopped and looked beside me at my placid Jacob.

"..and you love Jacob," he finished for me.

I shot him a surprised look. After all, I wasn't expecting those words to come from my boyfriend's mouth, but they were oh so true.

"Well you know I love him..."

"No Bella, you _love_ him. Maybe more than you love me…" His eyes trailed away from mine at his own words.

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**Thank you so much for the favorites and alerts. You guys rock! ;D**

_-**donttgettmeupsett**_


	7. And I Can't Pretend

**NTYP Chapter 7**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters, we all know that ;)~**

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**"Well you know I love him..."**

**"No Bella, you _love_ him. Maybe more than you love me…" His eyes trailed away from mine at his own words.**

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"Edward, he's my best friend. I love him that way." Okay, why was I lying to him about this?

He gave me a smile, but it was a sad smile. "You know how much I wish that were true."

I wasn't ready to spill how I felt about Jacob, so I quickly changed the subject.

"Thanks for what you did...ya know, for Jake."

He nodded and smirked.

"Well, I can't say he'd have done the same for me, but for you, I'm certain he would. So, no need to thank me."

"But you didn't spit.." His eyes bore into mine as he shook his head. "But... didn't he taste _gross_?"

"Not as bad as you'd think. His blood was quite..._satisfying_."

"Ew, Edward..." I made a face at the thought of him enjoying my friend's blood.

He gave a quiet laugh and I could no longer hold back my own.

It felt great to laugh again.

He rose from the chair and lovingly kissed me on the head.

"I hope you don't mind…"he mumbled between kisses, "I told my family to give you a little time before they start smothering you."

I smiled at that and thanked him. I didn't really feel like having a lot of company. I only wanted Jacob's company, I craved his company, but I couldn't have it. Only his body but not his beautiful mind.

It was still early and I hadn't been awake long, but my stomach was growling at an alarming volume.

"Your stomach is screaming, Bella. What would you like to eat?"

"Hmm, eggs are fine if that's what I'm smelling. Esme is so sweet to cook for me. Tell her I said that."

"Actually, it's Alice, and I'll tell her." He smiled at me and leaned down, his lips aiming for mine.

"Uhh.." I awkwardly turned away, and I could see it bothered him to some degree.

He paused, swiftly moved to the door, and turned to me. "I'll be back with your food." Then he was gone.

I felt terrible for denying him a kiss. I'd never done that before. It must have hurt him deeply. I felt guilty for wishing Jacob was the one who tried to kiss me. I wouldn't have denied him, though. Oh Jake. I looked at him and my eyes immediately fell to his luscious lips. They were the perfect color, perfectly plump, perfectly soft and inviting. Perfect for mine.

I leaned in without hesitation and gave his lips a quick stroke with my own, feeling the tube that was in the way as well.

Oh God, did I just do that? I almost kissed a guy in a coma. The guilt washed over me more than ever and I felt like I had defiled him in some way. Was it wrong of me to do that? I was still lost in the questions I was asking myself when Edward appeared at my side, plate in hand.

I gobbled up the food as If I'd not eaten in months. Then I drank the entire glass of orange juice he'd brought me in three huge gulps. Edward watched me eat like he were viewing a favorite tv show, eyes never moving from me.

When I was finished, he took the dishes and told me to get some rest.

* * *

Almost a week had gone by already, and I was beginning to get really sick and tired of being in bed. It could have been a lot worse, I'll admit. See, Charlie and Billy had visited me and Jacob just about every day, which was nice.

Edward told them that Jacob and I had gotten mugged by two guys while we were at the beach in La Push. He convinced Charlie that Jacob was brutally beaten and that I was almost raped, but Jacob's pack brothers came along, thus freaking them out and they ran away.

My dad believed the story, but Billy knew what really happened. My dad would stay for about an hour but then he'd have to leave and take care of some police business of sorts. Billy would stay by his son's bedside until nightfall most days. Charlie always gave him a ride home or back to my house, promising some beer and hot wings would cheer him up.

Well, the Cullens were extremely hospitable. They always made sure I was well fed and clean. They'd even ask me if I needed assistance to use the bathroom. _Come on, it's not like I'm crippled or anything.._

Alice would run errands for me, she'd pick up anything I asked for. I never thought I'd get tired of being next to Jacob, but after so many days, lying in that bed, Edward barely letting me get up for anything, I was about to go insane.

"PLEEEEASE, tell me I'm well enough to get out of this bed for longer than two minutes. My ass is sore." I whined to Edward. He'd stayed in that chair next to me nearly every second of the day, attending to my every need.

"Bella," he said with a laugh, "..you've always been well enough."

_Ok, What the hell?_

"I knew you'd be happier if you stayed by Jacob's side, and I didn't want you to feel bad for staying with him while he recovered, so…."

"...why are you telling me this?" I questioned him, vehemently. "Do you want me to be pissed at you or something?"

"I love you, Bella. I think I know what's best for you.."

"_I_ know what's best for me!" I didn't mean to scream at him, but It infuriated me that he had lied about the severeness of my injury.

"Yes I would have stayed by his side every minute that I could, but you should have given me that choice!" I huffed and crossed my arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you would be upset about it." Edward's voice was low and depressed. It made me feel sorry for him. Sorry that I was angry about this.

"If I want to share my time between the two of you, I will damnit!" With as much attitude as I could muster, I shoved the sheets off of me, scooted off the bed and limped my way out of the bedroom.

"But you did spend time with me, too…" I heard him say as I slammed the door behind me.

Ookaay, maybe I was being a PMS-ing-psycho-bitch, but DAYUM Edward was rubbing me the wrong way. Maybe the stress of everything was getting to me.  
"Don't lock me up like you're some controlling parent…" I mumbled to myself.

I felt like such a hyprocrite. After all, I had lied to him about my feelings for Jacob. I had lied to him for his wellbeing, too.

I needed to tell Edward how I felt about Jacob. Why was I so scared to tell him that I wanted to be more than Jake's friend? He didn't deserve that kind of pain. _I need to apologize for my ridiculous outburst... but not now._

I called my dad and told him I was ready to come home.

* * *

The weeks went by slowly at my little white house. I eventually made up with Edward and he apologized every few minutes until I assured him he didn't need to anymore. He helped me with my balance and excersizes until, eventually, I regained full use of my right leg.

Visiting Jacob was the best and worst part of my days. In all honestly, I missed being in that bed, cuddled up close to him, even if he wasn't aware of me there. The times when Jacob and I were alone, I'd sing to him or read from a book that I'd bring with me. I'd caress his face and massage his hand in mine, asking him to open his eyes or squeeze my hand.

Sometime's I'd stay into the late hours of the night, falling asleep with my head against Jacob's leg, chest, stomach, arm...it was different each time. Many nights I'd wake up in my own bed and not even remember how I got there. I guessed Edward was the one responsible for that.

The heat from Jacob's body was something I missed terribly when I laid in my cold bed at night. Edward sometimes stayed with me, but he was cold and It made me miss Jacob all the more. I'd run my hands along the side of the bed I wished he were on, and the tears would begin to rise.

Some nights, I wasn't successful in preventing them and I'd cry myself to sleep, clutching his dream catcher close to me. The thing didn't work, but it was a gift I cherished nonetheless. I made sure I was always wearing the little bracelet with the hand-carved wolf he had given me as a graduation present, just to have a little piece of him with me at all times.

* * *

I was flipping pancakes in the kitchen, my dad sipping coffee at the table, when I got the call. Just as I was answering the telephone, Edward burst through the front door and was standing next to me in an instant.

"Bella!" Edward startled my dad, sending his coffee flying through the air.

I gave Edward a 'what the hell are you doing?' look, and turned back toward the now burning pancakes, telephone in hand.

"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver.

"Bella, we'd like you to come over right away." It was Carlisle.

"Bella," Edward spun me around to face him. Was Edward...panting? "Bella. It…It's Jacob…"


	8. I'll Look After You

**NTYP Chapter 8**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns the characters**

* * *

_**"Bella," Edward spun me around to face him. Was Edward…panting? "Bella. It's…it's Jacob…"**_

* * *

My heart skipped several beats.

I dropped the phone, "What's wrong with Jake!" I screamed at him.

"What...Jacob…? What's going on?" Charlie demanded, wiping at the spilled coffee with a rag. "Edward, what's this all about?"

It wasn't like Edward to ignore my dad, but he didn't even seem to notice Charlie's presence as he focused intently on my face.

"Edward?" I gave him an impatient look.

Without a word, he drug me out of the house. Habitually, I started to climb onto Edward's back, but instead quickly chose to use his car in case Charlie was watching.

"Hang on," He stepped on the gas and the tires screeched.

"Tell me what happened to Jake! Why are you speeding?" I yelled over the roaring engine.

"He's breathing on his own."

"He's what?" My stomach did flip-flops and I didn't know whether to smile or cry. Did this mean Jacob was going to be okay? Was he awake…and for good?

"We truly didn't expect this, Bella. It's extraordinary," he gave a laugh. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought he was excited or even happy about this.

When we arrived at the large house, I jumped out of the car before it had fully stopped. I wasted no time, busting through the front door. I flew past Rosalie, who was sitting on the couch, watching me with a raised eyebrow.

Running up the stairs, I tripped over myself a couple times and nearly tumbled. The hallway seemed longer than usual and it aggravated me beyond words. I ran into the door frame of the bedroom, and clung to it, attempting to catch my breath.

After I somewhat composed myself, I peeked into the room. Jacob looked the same, but the breathing tube was gone and his chest was rising up and down. It was the most unbelievably beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I wanted to hear him breathe more than anything, ANYTHING.

As I entered the room, I saw Edward standing near the bed. How did he get here before me? It was damn unnerving.

Edward pulled a chair up and gestured me to sit. I whispered "Thanks," and fell into the seat, taking Jacob's hand in mine.

I kissed his hand, tasting my tears that fell onto his hot skin. He wasn't sweating anymore, and his eyes seemed to dance behind his lids.

"Has he said anything?" My voice trembled with emotion.

"No." Carlisle's voice rang through the room, but I didn't look away from Jacob's moving chest. "The best thing you can do for him right now is talk to him."

Carlisle spoke a few words to Edward lower than my human ears could hear, then gracefully removed himself from the room.

"Bella, my family and I are going to hunt. I promise we won't be gone long, not even the whole day." Edward's face scrunched up into one of concern.

I hadn't even noticed Edward's eyes had darkened considerably over the past few days. He had probably warned me he would be going off to hunt, but my mind was usually somewhere else. With Jacob.

"Okay, don't rush." I caressed Jacob's hand against my face, making sure his skin caught each tear I shed for him. "I'll be alright here."

"Are you sure..?"

"Yes, Edward. Just go.."

"Alright." He leaned over me from behind the chair and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you."

"Yeah…you too." I gave him a teary smile, and then I was left alone with Jacob.

With Victoria dead and my life no longer in any threat, well, for the moment...I supposed Edward felt it was safe enough to leave me alone.

"Oh.." I sighed and dropped my head onto the hot chest with a groan. "…I miss you, Jake." I turned my head to the side so my ear was against his breast. The thrumming of his heart and each intake of oxygen into his lungs were the most wonderful sounds. I closed my eyes and listened intently for several minutes.

God, I felt so helpless. Absolutely useless. There was nothing I could do for him. My desire to help him in SOME way was driving me crazy.

_Carlisle. Carlisle said the best I can do is talk to him._

"Remember those pink roses you got me that one valentine's day?" I bit my bottom lip and smiled. "I told you that you were stupid to have wasted your money on me and that I wasn't a girly girl. I think I even made you cry," I closed my eyes, face still against his chest. "I'm sorry for being such a bitch, and…I still have them, Jake. I keep them in a book...dried now of course. But they'll always be beautiful to me."

Clutching him tightly with both hands, I pulled myself onto the bed, filling the tiny space next to him. I hooked a leg over his thigh and held him closely, halfway laying on top of him.

"Do you remember the time you were working on my bike and we got into a fight because I wanted to help and you said you didn't need any? I was so pissed at you, I threw that mallet at your head." I laughed. "It didn't even hurt you a little bit, but I'm sorry Jake." I was no longer laughing. "I'm sorry I ever tried to hurt you."

I looked up into his face. God, how could somebody be so perfect?

"I slept beside you, Jake. I held you close to me and it felt wonderful. I kissed you, ya know. You weren't even awake for it, but I did. Promise." I smiled and pressed my cheek against his burning one. "I'd kiss you now if you were awake."

My face became serious, and I could feel heat boiling in the pit of my stomach. Usually, the heat I felt associated with Jacob was one of desire, lust. This was nothing of the sort. The rage that seemed to boil within me to the core, started to spread. Before I knew it, his face was in my hands. "Open your eyes, Jake. Hear me? I said open your eyes, damn you!"

His lips met and then parted, I thought I heard a quiet moan escape them.

'Ja-ake.." I whined and I leaned my forehead against his chin.

"Jake." I said again, loud and angry this time. The volcano finally exploded "Jake, I told you to open your eyes you fucking asshole! You think you can do this to me?" I was fuming. "Here I am, talking to you like a damn idiot when you refuse to talk to me " I pounded his chest with my fist and cried. " I know you can speak, fuck you, I know it! You think I can look at you in this condition day after day? I can't take it, I can't…" I collapsed on top of him, weeping for both of us.

* * *

Lord, it was hot. I must've fallen asleep. "MMmmnnn-ugh" I stretched and rubbed my eyes. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I removed myself from Jacob's body. My joints made creaky-house noises as I walked to the bathroom.

"Jeez, Bella…you're hideous." I spoke to my reflection in the mirror, noting my red, puffy eyes. I removed my shirt and threw it on the counter. My lilac-colored bra was snug tight to my breasts, revealing a tad bit of cleavage at the top. I was never one to admire my body, but the lilac color did compliment my skin tone quite well.

My face was flushed, and my hair was soaked from the sweat I had secreted due to Jacob's incredible body heat.

I made my way to the large shower and turned the faucet. The feeling of the ice-cold water pounding down on me as I hung my head into the shower, made me shiver. _I'd almost choose heat and sweat over being cool_, I thought to myself. _Weird._

After I washed my hair and felt refreshed enough, I dried myself and wrapped a towel around my head. My shirt was soaked in sweat, so I tossed it in the hamper that was in the corner of the bathroom. I walked back into the bedroom and looked at Jacob. Silly, but I was embarrassed to be standing in front of him in my jeans, bra and a towel on my head, even though I knew he wasn't aware.

I walked over to a large, walk-in closet, and saw that Esme had a lot of clothes. Beautiful, expensive clothes. I was going to borrow a shirt, but I felt too inferior to wear such garb.

Then I strode over to a dresser that was sitting under a large window, and opened the top drawer. I was pleased to find a stack of plain white t-shirts. I removed the towel from my hair and pulled one of the t-shirts over my head. It was slightly too big, a woman's size medium. The shirt hung like a bag around my waste and hips. It wasn't always great to be extra small.

The clock on the side table flashed 12:37 pm. I wasn't tired, but I pulled back the sheets and slid in next to Jacob, curling an arm around him.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I traced random patterns on his stomach and chest as I continued my lullaby. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you.." I sighed and kissed the skin against his ribs. "I just want you to say something…just say something."


	9. A Weight In Your Eyes

**NTYP Chapter 9**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight Characters**

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* * *

**

**"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I traced random patterns on his stomach and chest as I continued my lullaby to Jake. "You'll never know dear, how much I love you.." I sighed and kissed the skin against his ribs. "I just want you to say something…just say something."**

**

* * *

**

As I sang and caressed his body, I closed my eyes hoping sleep would find me and allow me to dream of happier times with a conscious, vibrant Jacob. My ears craved to hear his voice, my eyes ached to see his dark ones looking back at me, my skin begged for his touch.

I found myself going back, remembering us at his house, loafing on the sofa. We'd stay up late, chugging CocaCola and downing pizza and other junk while watching scary movies. When It got to the real scary parts, I'd pretend I was more frightened than I actually was and I'd jump into his arms. He'd always get a kick out of it and I knew it.

When I'd think back to those days, It made me wish I could travel back in time. Life wasn't the same without him. He truly was the best friend I ever had.

Suddenly, I felt a vibrating in my pocket. It took me a moment to figure out what it was. I sighed and checked the screen to see it was Charlie.

"Dad…"

"Bella, what the hell just went on here? Edward shows up outta nowhere talking about Jacob and drags you off without a word and I…"

"Dad..It, it's okay. Really." I heard him huff on the other end. "Jacob's breathing on his own." There was complete silence for a moment.

"Bells, I ..I can't tell ya.." he hesitated, "… Bells that's, that's really, _really_ great. That kid.." I could hear the relief in his voice. "I better call Billy."

"Yeah Dad, you should do that. Um, I guess I'm gonna be here for a while. Don't wait up for me tonight."

"Well, call me if ya need a ride or...something. Bells?"

"Yeah?"

"Love ya."

"You too, Dad."

I returned the phone to my pocket and cuddled back up to Jacob.

I saw that his cuts and bruises were fading, and almost gone completely. "Jake," I began trailing kisses over his chest, then moved to his neck. His skin was so soft, I couldn't stop touching it…feeling with my fingers and my lips. I inhaled deeply through my nostrils and took in his scent like a drug I had been withdrawing from.

I swung a leg over, straddling his stomach. I leaned in close to his face, lips almost touching. "Jaaake." I playfully said his name in a manner one might hail their cat. "Jaaake...I know you're in there."

My eyes took in every feature of his face and his beauty actually made my heart ache. His skin was like the deepest honey and it tasted of the like. But more than anything else, I wanted, needed, to taste those luscious lips.

Slowly, I inched my mouth nearer to his. We were so close, I could feel his hot breath as it mixed with mine. I tilted my head slightly and began to think twice about what I was doing. That thought came and went as quickly as my decision to go through with it overcame me. Before I had the chance to stop myself, my lips brushed gently against his slightly parted ones.

I pulled back and looked at him. _Should I do this? _My stomach filled with butterflies and the feeling shot up my throat. My emotions threatened to suffocate me as I took in a deep breath. Yes…yes I should. I leaned back in, this time I was sure of what I wanted.. My mouth slowly parted and then opened fully as I took in his sweet, plump lips.

Oh God, his lips were divine. They did taste like honey, pure and sweet and rich. I took my time to feel them as I gently sucked and massaged his lips with mine. The butterflies continued their furious frenzy as my hands wandered to his hair. I gently ran my fingers through the silkiness. I never wanted to free his lips, but I finally released my hold on them, gripping tighter to his bottom one as it slid out.

There was no guilt this time. I actually wanted more, wanted him to be tasting me in return. His lips molding to mine, his tongue exploring the depths of my mouth. Was I sick to think about these kinds of things while he was unconscious? Maybe, but Jacob filled me with desires that were hard to fight.

After reluctantly straying away from his amazing lips, I returned to kissing his neck and breathing him in. As I smothered him in kisses, I continued running my fingers through his hair, gripping tightly occasionally. "Baby…" I breathed against him. "I want to tell you.." I gave his neck a gentle nibble. "..how I feel."

_Did I just call my best friend "Baby"? _I closed my eyes and blushed at the thought. As weird as it was, I found myself wanting to repeat it. I wanted Jake to be _my _baby. Random pet names began to run through my mind.

_Baby, Dear, Honey, Sweet Cheeks, Bub, Hot Lips, Smiles, HunBun, BooBoo, Puppy…_

I laughed out loud at the last one. Then a surprising one crept up out of nowhere.

_Hubs_

Wow I liked how that sounded. Jacob Black, my husband. I'd never thought of it before. What was wrong with me? We were still friends. Of course I wanted to be more, but we hadn't even gotten to beyond friends yet and I was already thinking about marrying him! Not to mention the fact he still wasn't responsive AND I had a boyfriend…

I found myself craving his lips again more than ever before. I sighed, knowing I shouldn't abuse my ability to do with him as I pleased. Surely it was alright to continue caressing him. Maybe he could feel it, somewhere in there, maybe he was aware that I was here…loving him the only way I could under the circumstances.

"Jake.."

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

I tried to move, but It was as if something held me down.

Why couldn't I see anything? I tried to open my eyes, but they didn't budge. They were too heavy, and I just didn't have the strength to make them obey my command.

My arms seemed to be weighed down by something as I attempted to move them. I tried moving my fingers, and my hand twitched against something that felt like soft cotton...a sheet or blanket maybe. I curled it into a fist. _Jeez_ why did it hurt so much? It was like I hadn't moved in years. My body didn't like it.

That smell. It was disgustingly sweet, making me almost sick. But wait, there was another scent. It absolutely overpowered the sickeningly sweet one.

_Shit_, that scent was…intoxicating. Was I in heaven or something? If I was, why couldn't I move? Why was heaven so dark?

That _scent. _It was like a perfume that had been created specifically for me. Everything I loved and desired and worshipped…combined into one flawless, delicious flavor of a fragrance I wanted to…taste. Flowers…no. Fruit! Wait… There was no way to pinpoint what I was smelling, but God I wanted to devour it. Consume it in every conceivable way.

I tried once again to free my right arm, but was too pathetically weak. Something soft brushed against my neck, and my skin crawled. The sensation shot through me like ice running across my body, causing my eyes to open in a flash.

Everything was a blur, my head began to ache intensely. I shut my eyes and felt that strange tingle shoot through me again. It prickled up my spine and traveled to my brain, fogging my thoughts for a moment. This feeling… I liked.

Something else tickled my chest and shoulder. Hair. Long hair. I wanted to open my eyes again, but was too afraid to face the blurriness and headache that would result.

"Jake…" I heard an angelic voice say my name. This was heaven and that was the most gorgeous voice I'd ever heard.

_I'm dead and I'm completely okay with it._

Finally, my brain registered that it was an angel I was hearing, smelling, feeling. I felt so much love and gratitude for this angel who intoxicated my senses. Though I could barely move and was faced with this utter darkness, I wasn't afraid. I was safe in this angel's arms that were clinging to me.

I squeezed my eyes tightly and with every amount of will and strength I could gather from within, demanded my arm to rise from the bed.

My mind worked on overdrive as my arm obeyed me and rose a few inches. Damnit, I could do better. My brain was the only thing straining as I concentrated on making my arm move higher off the bed. I opened my eyes again, slowly this time. Everything was still blurry, but I saw her. My angel.

I felt my heart thud quicker and harder. I wondered if she could feel it, too. It was beating so hard It felt as though somebody were beating me with their fist.

The angel resting against me shifted and I felt lips on my neck. I couldn't see her face, just beautiful long strands of hazy amber. Damn the blur.

Finally, I accomplished raising my arm high enough to touch her. I needed to touch her. Slowly, I brought my trembling hand to rest on her head.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I screamed and flew off of Jacob like lightning had struck me, landing on my backside against the hardwood floor. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Jacob's dark eyes were open. He had touched me. I forgot to breathe for a minute.

"Jacob." I barely whispered, staring up at him in complete shock. He turned his head toward me and blinked his glassy eyes several times. "Jacob.." I said again, my voice dripping with emotion. He stared at me for a moment. Then a small, closed-mouth smile turned up the corner of his lips.

A _huge_ smile overtook my face and I found myself beside him in a matter of seconds, grasping his hand in mine. The tears were already dripping down my cheeks as I desperately deposited kisses all over his fingers. I could find no words to express how overjoyed I was.

His eyes never left me for a second. He was breathing deep and rhythmically, no sign of distress in him at all. My heart felt like it was vibrating at an unbelievable pace and I wouldn't have been surprised if it exploded. Jacob was awake and though he looked weak, he seemed perfectly perfect in every way.

"Ohh. "I moaned with relief as I continued planting kisses on each of his curled fingers. "..my Jake..."

He parted his lips and seemed to focus hard on something before closing them again. Maybe he was trying to say something to me.

"Jake…what…what do you want to say?" I urged him to try again.

He squinted and stared into my eyes. His face was blank, but he never looked away from me. When he didn't try to say anything else, I couldn't hold back anymore.

I crazily lunged at him, wrapping his head in my arms and pulling him into me. His face buried within my chest and my face in his hair, I sobbed ferociously.

As I released the brew of stress and complete joy from my body, two scorching arms gently wrapped around me.

"I thought I was going to lose you," I whimpered into his hair.

I leaned back, and his weak arms fell away from me. "I thought you'd never wa…" His eyes were still glassy and nearly black. I almost didn't recognize them. My stomach dropped.

"Jake?" His eyes were glued to mine, but something was not right. He looked almost frightened. I worriedly placed a hand on his forehead and then his cheek. "What's wrong?" He looked away from me and his eyes darted around the room. His breathing became faster and he shook his head.

"Jake, stop, it's ok!" I held his face and forced him to look at me. He shut his eyes tightly. What could be wrong? It was like I was a stranger to him.

"It's me…" my lips trembled. "..Bella."

He opened his eyes wide, a look of confusion still masking my Jacob's face. He looked so young, lost…scared. I wiped the tears from my face and sniffled. His eyebrows furrowed and he studied me closely.

_No. Please no. Don't look at me like that, Jake_

I felt the world collapse around me.

"…Don't you know who I am?"


	10. As The World Implodes

**NTYP Chapter 10**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph M. Owns Twilight & Characters.**

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* * *

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**He opened his eyes wide, a look of confusion still masking my Jacob's face. He looked so young, lost…scared. I wiped the tears from my face and sniffled. His eyebrows furrowed and he studied me closely.**

**_No. Please no. Don't look at me like that, Jake_**

**I felt the world collapse around me.**

**"…Don't you know who I am?"**

**

* * *

**

In an instant, the best day of my life had turned into the worst. I gawked at Jacob in disbelief as I registered what was happening. He looked at me like I was a complete stranger.

"It's Bella. You know me..," I reached out my hand to touch his face but he turned away.

"N…no," he croaked. His voice was so different from lack of use.

I snatched my hand back quickly, not wanting to upset him in any way. If he didn't want me to touch him, then I wouldn't. No matter how badly I wanted to.

He let out a deep groan as he tried to sit up. Still straddling him, I gently pushed his chest, forcing him to lay back down.

"Aahh..ughh!" He whined as he fell back against the bed.

"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

Wincing and breathless, he shook his head.

"You need to lie still. I don't know if it's a good idea for you to move around ..."

"Where ..am I?" He asked in between grunts.

"Somewhere safe. Don't worry about that for now. Just breathe," He calmed down considerably and was no longer groaning in discomfort.

"Are you…hurting anywhere?"

"Ss..ore," he weakly responded with his new, raspy voice.

I nodded and watched him watching me. Beads of sweat were forming on his temples again. He looked as though he had been hiking for days without rest.

Jacob's eyes wandered over my body. I followed his gaze until they stopped at my thighs that surrounded him.

"Oh!" I said excitedly as I climbed off of him, nervously running a hand through my hair. I felt so awkward and extremely embarrassed. Firstly, he was dazed and confused. Secondly, I had been straddling him like a cowgirl. _The things that must be going through his head_…

"Um.." I fidgeted as he looked up at me with a curious look in his dark eyes. God how I'd missed those mystifying eyes.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

"Ss…ore," I responded to her sweet voice.

So I wasn't dead, and I wasn't in heaven…just someone's bedroom. The girl wasn't an angel, yet she was as stunning as you'd imagine one to be.

It was a shock to say the least when I figured out I wasn't dead and in some after-life. A real girl had her legs around me, and I had no idea who she was.

I felt a throbbing heat in the pit of my stomach and it traveled to my groin. She needed to get off of me before this got any worse.

I couldn't help myself. My eyes started at her pouty lips, but swiftly moved lower, scanning over her perfect, petite body.

Something about her was…familiar. All I knew was I wanted her. I had not one recollection of this girl, yet I found myself …needing her…desiring her.

I felt my body temperature rise significantly. My heart hammered in my chest, and I knew I was sweating. This girl was _extremely_ attractive. Not to mention her scent…

Thank God she got off of me. Why was this gorgeous girl just sitting on me a second ago? And why the hell was she crying… crying over _me_? I wanted to comfort her, but how? I was practically a fucking invalid!

She said I knew her, but I didn't. I'd never seen her before in my life. Hell, what was my life? Who was I? She called me Jake.

_Ok, so I'm Jake. And?_

"What…" I coughed, "What happened...to me…?" Damn, my stupid throat didn't want me to speak or something, because it hurt like hell to get one word out.

"You were in a fight.." Her gentle voice made my heart throb again and I tried not to let my eyes give it away.

I didn't respond as her large, beautiful brown irises completely captivated me. This girl made me feel…indescribable.

"Jake..?" A tear escaped the corner of her eye, running down her ivory skin. It sent a jolt through my chest, causing a brief moan to leave me.

She'd told me her name. God, what was it? Oh yeah..

"Bella..?" What a beautiful name, the most beautiful I'd ever heard.

Her face lit up the instant I said it, and she came toward me fast, taking me aback for a moment.

"Jacob!" She shrieked loudly and kissed my face. Then she enthusiastically uttered a hundred words so quickly against my cheek, I couldn't understand any of them.

"You said…your name was Bella," It was becoming easier to speak, but my voice sounded horrible.

Bella made a sound of disappointment… or grief. She stilled against my face, then lowered her head into my neck. I didn't want her to leave, but she slowly removed herself from me.

This girl made my stomach twist into knots, making me ill in an ultimately pleasant way.

She huffed a sorta/kinda laugh, but there was no humor behind it as she closed her eyes and made a terrible pained expression.

I hoped she didn't look like that because of me. She was so sad, and I felt like it was in some way my fault. The desire to hold her in my arms was consuming me, almost torturing me as I watched her tears.

There was no way in hell I was going to ask to hug her, though. No matter how badly I wanted to touch her, I didn't know this girl and it would be strange, uncouth of me to behave so…intimately.

"You used to call me Bells," she said, her eyes still closed. She took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. Then, she smiled.

_Wow. . ._

"Wow," I didn't realize I said it out loud.

"What?" She opened her eyes.

"Oh, um…" I cleared my throat and decided I needed to change the subject before I said something I'd regret. She didn't need to know what her smile had just done to me.

"I used to call you Bells?"

"Yeah." There was that insanely enchanting smile again. "Sometimes."

"Ok. Bells," I flashed my pearly whites back at her, hoping she would keep the grin on her face a little longer. It worked.

"Are you hungry?" She asked.

I had to think about it for a second.

"Nah."

"Oh yeah...the feeding tube," She pointed to my side. My limbs still ached when I tried to maneuver them, but I managed to pull the sheet down far enough to see it.

"Is it uncomfortable?" She looked concerned.

"I didn't even know…" I coughed vigorously "..it was there."

In an instant, she was touching me, stroking my face and neck as I tried to catch my breath.

"Oh my gosh, Jake are you alright?" All I could do was nod as I continued wheezing.

She helped me up into a sitting position, and massaged my back soothingly.

I took in a sharp breath, and finally felt my airway open up a bit.

"Don't talk anymore. It's too much too soon," Bella cooed.

I could feel her breath on my face as she continued to stroke my back.

She was amazing and there I was, pitiful, panting, feeling humiliated at what this hot girl had just witnessed. I turned my head to look at her, tell her I was alright.

_Oh mother of all things holy._

I could taste her breath as she exhaled, luring me closer to her mouth. She licked her bottom lip and left it glistening for my hungry eyes to appreciate. I had to have looked like a starved animal to her.

Those juicy lips.

_Just one taste…just one… __**please**_

_**

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**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews everyone. I really appreciate it. Sorry if this is sad, but I'm an angst lover and I just let it happen as it comes to me. And don't worry, it'll be happier in future chapters ;) I love you all who take the time to read!**


	11. Dear, You Look So Lost

**NTYP Chapter 11**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephy Meyer Owns Twilight & Characters**

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**I could taste her breath as she exhaled, luring me closer to her mouth. She licked her bottom lip and left it glistening for my hungry eyes to appreciate. I had to have looked like a starved animal to her.**

**Those juicy lips.**

**_Just one taste…just one…_**_please_

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_**

My mouth felt magnetized to hers and the pull was impossible to resist. Our lips almost touched, but she stepped away from me. I lingered in the empty air she had left behind, and my lips felt a chill at the loss of her warm breath.

Her face was red and she looked nervous. Oh God, I totally just freaked her out. She thought I wanted to make out with her and do the nasty, too. She was going to leave because I disgusted her. She was going to leave me there alone in that bed and that strange room and she'd never want to see me again and I was going to cry like a fucking baby.

Instead, she reached behind me, still red faced, and propped up the pillow, punching it a couple times. She gestured for me to lay down. I groaned as I slowly lowered myself back down, letting out a huge sigh once I met the pillow.

"Are you…going to tell me…how I got here?" I asked hoarsely.

"No." She pulled a chair up next to me and sat down. "You're not supposed to talk, remember?"

"But you can."

She thought about that for a minute.

"If I tell you, you'll just want to talk more, and that's not good for your vocal chords yet."

"So you are.." I coughed, "..my boss or something?" Once my coughing subsided, I looked at her.

Bella smiled and looked down in an attempt to hide the grin from me. Then she cleared her throat and looked up, completely serious.

"Yes." She nodded.

"Well, boss. I'd really like to know when I can get up. I'm really sore, see…"

"Shhh," She pressed her finger against my mouth, silencing me. "No talking," She whispered.

We stared at each other for a long second before she blinked and took her finger away from my lips.

I needed some answers. It wasn't fair that she was keeping things from me. If I couldn't know why I was in that room with the beautiful stranger, didn't I at least have a right to know who I was?

"Who am I?" I breathed, too fast for her to protest.

She played with her hands in her lap before she looked up at me.

"You're Jake, Um…Jacob," she stuttered. "Jacob Black. And, your dad is Billy Black. You live in La Push...Washington. You're 17...well, 16 actually but, Um…never mind that righ…"

"How do I know you?" I felt rude to interrupt, but I had to know.

"Jake.." She looked down at her hands still in her lap.

_Come on…come on…Yes…_

"We're friends."

_Oh…_

"We've been friends…forever. Since we were little kids. We're so…_so_ close. I wish you could _remember_." Her voice cracked on the last word. "I just, I don't want you to.."

I held out my hand to her before I could tell myself not to. She looked up at me, eyes red and watery, and slowly placed her small hand in mine.

"It's ok. I'm not going anywhere." I assured her.

She shut her eyes, tears spilling over as a sob escaped her.

"Come here," I pulled her to me and I held her gently as she cried. I wished there was something I could do.

What was wrong with her? Was she afraid I was angry? It's not like I was unhappy with who I was. Hell, I was on cloud 9 at the fact this gorgeous girl was in my life. Though, I was bummed to find out she wasn't my girlfriend.

"It's okay, Bella. Don't cry…"

"Bells." She shook her head as she continued to sob into my neck.

"Bells. Ok ok," I nodded fast. "Bells, what can I do?" I asked, sounding desperate.

"Come back to me." She whimpered.

"I _am_ back. Maybe not completely, but I promise whatever is wrong with me I'll fix it for you. I promise." I coughed from the string of words I had just thrown out.

Her arms around my neck loosened and she moved her wet face from my skin. She looked up at me with the most pitiful expression.

I wanted to kiss the tears away so badly. Whoever this girl belonged to was a fucking lucky bastard.

"Really. What can I do?" I pleaded with her to tell me. It killed me to see her cry. Nobody so lovely should ever shed a tear, unless it was a happy one.

She shook her head and looked away from me. "I'm okay."

"No, you're…not" I choked.

"Please don't talk anymore, Jake. You sound terrible. I'll leave you alone so you can sleep." She began to remove herself from the bed.

"No!" I yelled, holding tight to her arm, forcing her to remain seated next to me "I mean…please don't go?" I said more gently.

She looked at my hand that was wrapped around her tiny arm.

"Shit, sorry," I said ashamedly, removing my hand from her.

"It's okay," why was she smiling…? "You're strong."

"I'm really sorry," I apologized again, noting the impressions my fingers had left on her arm. "I just…don't want you to go anywhere."

"I won't, but my…um...my boyfriend…"I felt something sharp impale my heart."...will be back soon and I need to wash my shirt."

"Ok."

"I won't be far away," she promised me.

I nodded and watched her go into the bathroom, coming out with a shirt in her hands. Her body became smaller and smaller as she walked across the huge bedroom to the door, and then she was gone. I sighed.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Dad!" I spoke hysterically into the phone. "He doesn't know me, he doesn't know anything! Who he is, where he is, what happened, nothing!"

"Bella Bella, calm down. I can't understand you."

"Da-ad." I bawled.

"Jesus Bella, Do I need to come down there.."

"No Dad, It's just…he doesn't know who I am."

"What? Jacob? He said something?"

"Yes. He doesn't remember me. What… what am I gonna do?" I felt like I was going to pass out.

"Put Edward on the phone."

"He's not here."

"Well where the hell'd he go?"

"Um…h..he had to run errands with his parents."

"Ok, give the phone to his sister."

"Alice is…Dad, it's just me and Jacob."

"He had to run errands with his whole family?"

"Look, I just needed someone to talk to!"

"Ok ok! Bells, don't worry about this. Things will work out. Maybe he just needs a few days. Memory loss doesn't, in some cases, last forever..."

"Oh God…"

"I'm bringing Billy over tonight. He wants Jake home as soon as possible. Let's hope he's willing…"

"Dad, I told him about Billy and he seemed okay. He's not crazy or anything."

"That's good. Amnesia can be a traumatic thing to experience."

"Yeah. He must be so scared."

"So he's actually awake and talking to you?"

"Yes."

"You're not just imagining.."

"Dad!"

"Alright alright! See you tonight, Bells. Just…be there for him."

"I'll try. Bye Dad."

I shoved my cell into my back pocket, and turned to throw my shirt into the washing machine. _Jacob doesn't know me. He doesn't remember me. What am I to him now?_

"Shit!" I slammed the lid hard and kicked the washer. "If there is a God, he hates me."

_Don't say that, Bella. Jacob's alive. It could be worse._

I turned the washer on and slumped to the ground, leaning against the machine as it vibrated. My head fell into my hands.

No, I couldn't tell Jacob how I felt about him. That I lived for him. I'd die for him. I'd agree to be tortured slowly in physically alarming ways for him. I'd break up with my supernatural boyfriend for him. I'd do anything for him. Name it.

But we were just this. Friends. Two friends like we always had been and apparently always would be.

_Maybe he doesn't even want to be my friend. I won't force him._

_He will probably never love me the same way again._

The pain ripped at my heart relentlessly.

"Bella?"

I gasped and looked up, stunned.

Two brilliant eyes stared back at me.


	12. Feel Like Letting Go

**NTYP Chapter 12**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph Meyer Owns Characters**

**A/N: Don't forget to see Taylor Lautner on The Teen Choice Awards tonight ! *drool* 8/9/10**

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**_He will probably never love me the same way again._**

**The pain ripped at my heart relentlessly.**

**"Bella?"**

**I gasped and looked up, stunned.**

**Two brilliant eyes stared back at me.**

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**

"Edward!" I flung myself into his arms. "Jacob is…he doesn't kn…"

"I know, Bella. I know."

"What do we do?" I cried.

"There's nothing that can be done. Let him live, that's all we can do."

"But…but I was going to tell him…"

"What Bella? Tell him what?"

My tears soaked his baby blue shirt as he cradled me. I couldn't tell him I was planning on breaking up with him and confessing my love to Jacob. What reason did I have now? Jacob didn't want me…he didn't know me.

"What if he hates me?"

"Why would he hate you, Bella?"

"I don't know. Just, what if he doesn't like me and doesn't want to be my friend?"

"Did he say he didn't like you? Was he mean to you?"

"No."

"Okay then. That should answer your question."

"Ahem…" We both turned to see Alice standing in the doorway. "You two okay?" She asked in her always sugar-sweet voice.

"We're fine, Alice," Edward said, and I just nodded.

"Carlisle is seeing to Jacob. It's wonderful he's come out of all this." Alice said, a little too chipper.

"He's removing the Dog's feeding tube," I heard Rosalie say as she came to stand beside Alice."

"This is so exciting!" Alice squealed. " I wonder what he'll want to eat first. Aww, Bella…don't cry," She walked over to me and wiped my tears. I hugged her.

"Can you see anything Alice? Will his memories come back?" I sniffled.

"I can't see anything that involves him, Bella," She looked at me with sad eyes that glowed from the recent feeding.

"Oh. Right…"

"I really don't see why you are crying over fido…"

"Just leave, Rose," Edward glared at Rosalie and she shook her head, grumbling to herself as she stomped off.

"Bella, would it be alright if Jasper spent some time with you?"

"No, Alice. I don't think telepathic prozac will do much for me righ…"

"Carlisle needs me," Edward was out the door in a flash.

I looked at Alice who was looking back at me, our expressions matched. What was going on upstairs? I rushed past Alice and started up the stairs. Of course Alice flew right past me.

As I got closer to the bedroom, I could hear commotion. _Everyone must be in there but me, _I thought.

There was so much yelling, but I couldn't make out anything being said. I heard deep groaning as I made my way into the room.

Jacob's bed was surrounded by vampires.

I ran to Edward's side, and watched as Carlisle was placing several pillows around Jacob's head.

What I saw terrified me. Jacob's body was rigid, his head thrown back, the veins in his neck and temples bulging.

He was making a terrible grunting noise and his body was jerking much like it had when he was infected with venom.

"He's having a seizure," Carlisle informed me.

"_Why_?" I asked, horrified.

"His body reacted to our presence. He began to phase."

"Do something!" I looked around at everyone as they watched Jacob's writhing body.

"All we can do is wait for it to pass, and make him as comfortable as possible."

I looked at Carlisle in disbelief.

"Why did this happen?" I cried.

"His brain misfired the information. He's not ready…"

"Jake!" I reached my hand out to him.

"No Bella, don't." Edward took hold of my arm.

Jacob's maple skin was beginning to turn a hint of blue.

"He can't breathe! He'll die!" I shouted at Carlisle.

"It will pass Bella, then he'll breathe. Just wait…"

"No!" I couldn't watch his body convulsing or hear the frightening groans that rose from deep within his throat anymore. I turned and ran out of the room.

I ran down the stairs, but I could still hear Jacob making those terrible noises.

Edward swept me up midway down the stairs and I was laying on the sofa in a matter of seconds.

"Is he ever going to be normal? Will he ever not be hurting, or sick in some way?"

"Bella, this is normal after brain trauma. Seizures are more common than you think."

I shook my head. "I wish everything were back to normal, before my life ever.."

"I understand. Bella," he leaned in "I want to make it better for you."

His icy lips gently touched mine. I didn't want to, but I mashed my lips hard against his. _I need to get over Jake. _Edward's stone lips didn't give at the pressure I applied, and I felt the slight pain as my teeth broke my skin. He slipped his freezing tongue between my lips, and swept up the blood.

"I can't do this," I mumbled between our lips, "Edward.."

He let go and sat back, giving me some much needed space.

"Edward, I can't do this…"

"Okay, no more kissing, Bella. I don't mind.."

"No Edward, I can't do _this…us."_

His face remained emotionless as he took in my words. Then I saw the crease slowly appear between his eyes. He stood slowly, then walked away from me.

I sighed and threw my head back against the arm of the sofa. Even if I could never be with Jacob, and it was obvious I couldn't just get over him, I wasn't going to be with Edward when I didn't want him.

I listened for a moment. There were no more terrible sounds coming from upstairs. Thank God, it was over.

This time, I slowly made my way back to the room, afraid something horrifying would be waiting for me again. That seemed to happen a lot lately.

Carlisle had Jacob turned onto his side, and was rubbing his back. Jacob was breathing hard and deep, his arms curled around his chest.

"What the fuck smells so bad in here?" I heard Jacob complain.

I ran to his side and imitated Carlisle's actions. Jacob looked up at me weakly.

"I was wondering where you were," his voice was tired and gentle.

"He'll be fine, Bella. I administered a depressant. It should keep this from happening again for a few hours."

I nodded and looked back at Jake. His eyes were drooping, but he was fighting it.

"Your dad's coming to get you tonight, Jake." I said, trying to comfort him. "Right Carlisle? He can go home."

"That's right. There's no reason to keep him here, especially after what just happened."

"Wha-at..hh..hap-pened?" Jacob mumbled.

"The seizure was caused by your being here. It'd be best to get you home as soon as possible."

I continued kneading his back with my palm as he drifted off to sleep.

Charlie came over with Billy a few hours later. They both shed tears at the Doctor's good news about Jacob.

The pack stopped by not long after, filling the house with hoots and hollers at the fact their brother was finally awake.

The loud celebration didn't last long. Carlisle wasted little time before telling them about Jacob's amnesia.

A feeling of dread spread through the large living room. Nobody could look at the other, afraid of what their face would display.

The large Cullen home, filled with Jacob's friends and family, held no wars, no fighting, no rivalry.

It was so strange to see my wolf and vampire friends bonding over Jacob's tragedy. It shouldn't have been a tragedy since he was alive, and yet it was. He was a new Jacob.

Esme, Alice, and Rosalie whipped up some steaks and mashed potatoes with gravy for everyone. That wasn't all. There must've been twenty or so side dishes, too. I was impressed at the buffet they had cooked up in such a short amount of time.

The food covered the kitchen counter tops and the dining table. There wasn't even room for us to eat anywhere, so the pack and I just made ourselves comfortable on the floor.

Charlie and Billy sat at the iron table out on one of the many covered porches.

I was surprised nobody even seemed to have noticed Edward wasn't around.

_Ow..._

A roll hit me in the head, "Jared!" The Quileute boy was such a clown. He just laughed as he stuffed half a steak into his mouth without a fork.

"Nice shot!" Quil laughed from the kitchen.

_Animals…_

"Hey, Bella." Embry sat down beside me, holding a plate piled high with food. "How's Jake?"

I quickly chewed the mouthful of green beans and swallowed loudly before I answered.

"Good. I think."

"You think?"

"Just when I think he's okay, something bad happens."

"The seizure?"

"Yeah."

"And…losing his memory.."

"Don't remind me."

"Sorry," He picked up the roll that Jared had thrown at me, stuffing the whole thing into his mouth. "Ya know this... might be … temporary." He tried to chew and talk at the same time.

"I hope so. I really hope so, Embry."

He pulled me closer to him and placed a warm arm around me.

I heard roaring laughter coming from the kitchen. Paul was sharing his favorite blonde jokes with Rosalie, who was jabbing back with her own regarding dogs.

Though I'd always wanted it like that, all of us together, It felt wrong that Jacob wasn't there, eating, laughing and joking with the rest of us.

Embry's arm tightened around me as Carlisle blew past us, causing a gust of wind. I watched the vampire's streaked form ascend the staircase.


	13. Nobody Said It Was Easy

**NTYP Chapter 13**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight..._duh ;)_**

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_**"I hope so. I really hope so, Embry."**_

_**He pulled me closer to him and placed a warm arm around me.**_

_**I heard roaring laughter coming from the kitchen. Paul was sharing his favorite blonde jokes with Rosalie, who was jabbing back with her own regarding dogs.**_

_**Though I'd always wanted it like that, all of us together, It felt wrong that Jacob wasn't there, eating, laughing and joking with the rest of us.**_

_**Embry's arm tightened around me as Carlisle blew past us, causing a gust of wind. I watched the vampire's streaked form ascend the staircase.**_

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After Carlisle pumped Jacob full of more drugs, he joined Charlie and Billy on the porch. They seemed to be holding pleasant conversation.

Unsurprisingly, I had trouble finding my appetite. Seth and Quil were grabbing fourths, and Leah was sitting by herself near the front door, poking at a steak with her fork.

After tossing what was left on my plate in the trash, which was a lot, I made my way over to Leah.

"Hey," I stood awkwardly over her, hands in my pockets.

"Hi," She said uninterested, not looking up from her plate.

I sat down beside her, and she didn't seem to care, so I began again.

"Um, Jake's gonna be okay." She seemed to need a comforting word, or so I thought.

She laughed bitterly.

"Is that right?" She shook her head and continued poking at the beef. "He hasn't been okay since you moved here."

Leah was right. My being in his life was torture for him, yet I refused to not be in it. I knew it would have been best if I never saw him again, never spoke to him again, never called him. Why was I such a selfish person?

"I don't mean to hurt him.."

This time, she turned toward me and her expression was frightening.

"The hell you do."

I stared into her eyes, shocked at what she was suggesting.

"Leah, I love Jacob with everything that I have…"

"Shut up. Just...just shut up ok?" She shoved her plate off of her lap and held her head in her hands. "You don't know what you do to him, what you've done to him."

I felt my eyes sting and quickly fought back the tears.

"It's all okay now, Leah. He's not the old Jake. I'll never be the reason for his pain again." I was relieved at that fact yet completely devastated.

She didn't respond, but I could see the water pooling in the corner of her eye.

"I was such a bitch to him, Bella. He almost died…"

"He's not going to now, Leah. He doesn't know you were a bitch..er..I mean…"

"I was, Bella. I still am. I can't help it. I get so angry about Sam and Emily. About my, my dad. It's hard, it's so hard.."

"I know…" I put a hand on her arm.

"No, you really don't. You'll never know the pain Jake and I feel, or in his case, felt."

No, I couldn't. At that moment, I wished I was a Shapshifter and I could have the ability to phase and read their minds. It sucked to be in the dark.

"I wish I had the ability to..."

"No you don't. It's terrible, Bella. It's humiliating having yourself on display that way. Your inner-most desires and weaknesses revealed." Her voice was beginning to shake. "You don't want to be faced with other's sufferings. It's worse than dealing with your own."

God, I was so thankful I was human then. I felt so bad for Leah. She hated her life. She loved her brothers, but had difficulty showing it what with all the torment she lived in.

"I told Jacob to go die, once." She let the tear finally escape.

"Oh Leah…" I was interrupted by huge, deep voices.

"We're gonna go get Jake!" Quil shouted excitedly.

"Finally taking him home!" Embry yelled. They both followed Sam up the stairs.

Leah sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

It wasn't a minute later, and the three guys were already lugging Jacob's limp body down the stairs.

I jumped up.

"Be careful with him!" I watched as they carried him down, too roughly in my opinion.

When they got to the bottom of the staircase, Sam flung Jacob over his shoulder. I couldn't believe he could hold all of Jacob's weight by himself. Impressive.

"Put him in Charlie's car." I told Sam. I didn't think he'd enjoy running all the way back home carrying Jacob's massive body.

"Somebody say my name?" Charlie asked, pushing Billy's chair into the living room.

"Yeah, Dad. I was telling Sam we could take Jake home."

Charlie looked at Billy.

"Well since I'm taking Billy here home anyway, that sounds like a great idea."

"Mr. Black," Carlisle came up from behind my dad with a piece of paper in his hands. "Here's a list of what to expect from Jacob as he recovers. Also, how to care for him. Make sure you get some help.."

"I'll be over everyday, Billy. I can help you take care of Jacob!" I exclaimed, a little too excitedly.

Carlisle nodded. "That's probably a good idea."

"Sure, Bella. You're welcome at my home anytime." Billy gave me a genuine warm smile.

I clapped my hands together and ran out the front door. Sam wasn't far behind me when I opened the door to my dad's police cruiser as wide as I could.

Sam let Jacob fall from his shoulder into Charlie's car, gently pushing him in. Though Jacob was curled up, his body still took up the entire back seat.

His face was pressed up against the seat, and his mouth open slightly. I could hear him snoring, and it was so darn cute I couldn't help but giggle. For some reason, I hadn't noticed before, but he was in nothing but black boxers. My face reddened.

My dad helped Billy in the passengers seat, and threw his wheelchair in the trunk.

I tried to climb in so I could be next to Jacob, but there was just no way.

"Bells, doesn't look like you'll be riding with us." Charlie said.

I sighed and looked around. Edward was nowhere. _He must be sulking somewhere because of what I told him..._

"I'll take her!" Alice's tinkerbell voice jingled..

"Thanks, Alice." I tried to sound thankful, but honestly, I wished I could ride next to Jacob.

We pulled up to the little red house, and the Quileute boys were already there waiting for us.

I got out of Alice's car and watched as Sam reached in and pulled Jacob from Charlie's backseat. I heard a groan.

I gasped, afraid he had been hurt, but I saw his eyes were still closed. His breathing was still deep and rhythmic, so he must've been alright.

Paul and Quil offered to take him from Sam, and he allowed it. I started to follow as they carried my beautiful Jacob inside.

"Bella, we need to get going." Charlie's voice stopped me and I turned around. "It's late, and there's always tomorrow."

I nodded and walked to the car. Sam was already wheeling Billy toward the front door.

"See you later, Bella." Alice smiled and rolled up her car window. I returned the smile and waved back a little too late, she was already halfway down the dirt driveway.

"Been a long day, huh?" Charlie asked as I buckled the seat belt around me.

"Huh? Oh, yeah..it has." The fact Edward hadn't spoken to me since I was on that sofa was getting to me. But why? I had finally said goodbye. Shouldn't I have been relieved?

"How do those guys get around so fast? Have you ever noticed that, Bells?"

I was staring off into space.

"Bells?"

"Oh, sorry Dad. What?"

"Those friends of Jacob's. They never drive anywhere, and they don't wear shirts. It's weird, isn't it?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's _very_ weird."

"And how is it they were here when we got here. Didn't they walk? I don't get it."

"Don't stress over it, Dad. Maybe they hitched a ride."

Thank goodness he stopped talking. I really wasn't in the mood to chat about how weird my friends were. He already questioned me about the Cullens enough, now it was my Indian friends. I couldn't stop thinking about Jacob and wondering where Edward had been the whole night.

_I'm going to see Jacob first thing in the morning. _

I leaned my head against the car window and let the rocking motions and hum of the engine lull me to sleep.

* * *

The light coming in from my window woke me. I groaned in irritation and pulled my comforter up over my head. It felt like I'd just fallen asleep, and I wasn't ready to get up.

_Why does the sun have to shine straight into my window? The Sun…_

_Jacob_!

I leapt out of bed and threw on some jeans that were laying in a pile on the floor. There was no need to change the t-shirt I was wearing. It was pale yellow, tight and almost looked too small for me, but It would've taken way too much time to look for something else.

As I ran down the stairs, I could hear the tv. I glanced into the living room and saw Charlie asleep on the couch. I grabbed my keys and cell off the little table by the door and made my way out of the house as quietly as possible.

My legs flew down the little concrete steps, and I tripped, falling flat on my face. I stood, a little dizzy, and felt my nose with my hand. Yeah, it was bleeding.

_Who cares. I've got to see Jacob._

As I jumped into my truck and started the engine, a few drops of blood fell onto my shirt. I opened the glove compartment in search for something to hold to my nose. Nothing.

_Damnit_

I looked in the little mirror in the visor, and wiped my nose with the back of my hand, smearing the blood. It was useless. I looked like I'd been punched in the face.

_Beautiful as usual, Bella._

As I was turning out of the driveway, there he was. He stood right in front of my truck, and I contemplated running him over.

I rolled down my window and hung my head out.

"What the hell, Edward?" I shouted.

He slowly walked around the front of my truck and met me at the window.

"Bella, think about this.."

"Think about what? You trying to make out with me while Jacob is…"

"Bella…"

"No, Edward. I really…just need some space."

"But you're going to go see the d…him."

"So? He's been through a lot. He needs somebody right now…"

"Bella, _I _need you."

"You need to get away from my truck."

"What happened to your face..?" He reached a hand into my window.

I stomped on the gas and the tires screeched, leaving Edward behind in a puff of smoke.

_Please don't follow me…_

The drive to the reservation seemed longer than usual, and the anticipation was making my heart beat irregularly.

Those furious butterflies were back, and more frenzied than ever as I saw the red house come into view.

My hands shook and I found it almost impossible to hold onto the steering wheel. I was going to see Jacob and he was going to be awake and fine and not hurting anymore. I drove faster as my need to see him grew more desperate. My truck flew down the dirt road a little too fast, and I slammed on my breaks, almost sending myself through the windshield.

Ripping the keys from the ignition, I swung the car door open and jumped out, not bothering to shut it behind me. My hand began to hurt the longer I beat on the glass of the front door, but I wasn't going to stop. I wanted in, and somebody had to answer eventually. Finally, I saw Billy rolling toward me in his chair. I sighed at the sight of him and bounced impatiently.

"Bella, you're here early." He noticed my appearance and frowned. "What happened…?"

"How's Jacob doing?" I let myself in without waiting for an invite.

"He's sleeping…"

I strode into the kitchen, grabbed a paper towel and held it to my face.

"Don't worry, I'll be quiet." Hastily, I made my way down the short hallway to Jacob's room. The door was open, so I was able to peek in without making a sound.

_Jake_

The butterflies were making their way up my throat again. Slowly, I took a couple steps toward his bed, and the floor creaked. He shifted, but continued snoring deeply. I stood there for a moment, watching him dream. He must've been dreaming. His lips were turned up slightly into an adorable smile. I swallowed hard, trying to control my emotions. Taking a couple more steps closer to him, I knelt down next to the bed and watched him. The paper towel was rough against my skin as I wiped my nose.

"Bella." Billy whispered from the doorway. I gasped, startled, and mouthed 'what?'

"Go ahead and wake him, if you want to."

"Really?" I questioned, unsure.

Nervous and shaking, I brought my hand to his neck and tenderly stroked it with my fingertips. Eyes still closed, he turned his head and took in a deep breath, scrunching his face for a second, then letting it go calm again. I looked over at Billy, and he nodded for me to go on.

Placing a hand on his arm, I shook him gently. When he didn't respond, I pressed my fingers into his skin a little harder and shook him again. That time, his arms flew over his head and he moaned as his body stretched and made cracking sounds.

His eyelids slowly parted as he came down from the enormous stretch, and I moved away from the bed. He turned his head directly toward me, eyes wide. Then, he shot a glance at his father.

"Son."

Jacob sat up quickly and threw glances back and forth between me and Billy.

"You're home, Jake." I said, gently.

"Home?"

"Yes, you live here."

He stared into me with those deep, dark eyes.

"Remember me?" I asked timidly.

"Bella…I mean, Bells." He exhaled.

"That's right."

His eyes left mine and he squinted, taking in Billy's appearance.

"Son." He carefully rolled into the room. "It's me…your father." I could hear the emotions in Billy's voice.

"Billy Black." Jacob stated more than questioned.

"Yes." Billy and I replied in unison.

Jacob ran a hand through his hair and looked out the window above his bed. I wondered what he was thinking about.

"Is there anything you need? Can I get you something…"

"Water." He looked up at me with a gentle expression. "Please."

"Yeah, sure, ok. Water." Excited that I was able to do something for him, I smiled and ran out of the room.

I was back with a glass of water in a matter of seconds. Jacob was still looking out the window, his face blank. Slowly, I sat on the bed beside him and held the glass of water out to him. He never looked away from the window.

"Jake?" I said his name quietly.

"Hmm?" He still wouldn't look at me.

"Your water…"

He slowly turned his face toward me, his eyes like black holes, distant, as if his mind were elsewhere. After staring at me for a long moment, he finally blinked.

"Oh. Thanks…" He took the glass from me and put it to his parched lips. Everything was in slow motion as I watched the clear liquid slowly flow into his mouth. I could almost see his dry lips absorb the H2O, making them even more plump and succulent.

He tilted his head further back to take in the last of the water, then licked his lips, slowly bringing the edge of the glass away. I hoped he wanted more, because I could watch that again and again…

He breathed out heavily, holding the glass out to me. With my mouth open and my eyes still glued to his wet lips, I took it from him.

"You kids hungry?"

I'd forgotten Billy was even there.

"Starving…" Jacob said as he let himself fall back against the bed.

* * *

**A/N: This was longer than my other chapters! Hope you didn't mind ;) Thanks for all the lovely reviews ! xoxo D**


	14. Know I'm In Your Reach

**NTYP Chapter 14**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns The Characters **

* * *

**He threw his head further back to take in the last of the water, then licked his lips, slowly bringing the edge of the glass away. I hoped he wanted more, because I could watch that again and again…**

**He breathed out heavily, holding the glass out to me. With my mouth open and my eyes still glued to his wet lips, I took it from him.**

**"You kids hungry?"**

**I'd forgotten Billy was even there.**

**"Starving…" Jacob said as he let himself fall back onto the bed.**

**

* * *

**

"What do you want, Jake?" I asked. " I'll make you anything."

"Anything?" He crossed his arms behind his head and smirked.

He closed his eyes in deep thought while I waited for his request.

"Pizza."

"Huh? Of all the things you could ask for, you want pizza?" Okay, maybe Jacob wasn't completely lost in there.

Billy laughed loudly. "Jacob, your taste hasn't changed, that's for sure."

"What?" Jacob sat up. "What's wrong with pizza?"

"Nothing, Jake." I smiled and shook my head, trying not to laugh along with Billy.

"It's too early to order. Can you wait a few hours?" Billy asked.

"Sure, sure." He threw the blankets off of his legs. I blushed at the sight of him still only in boxers.

"Should he be getting out of bed already?" I asked Billy. Jacob must have noticed the panic in my voice, because he gently put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm alright, Bella. I won't break." His voice was deep and sensuous. I wasn't sure if he meant to sound so sexy, but he was undeniably sexy in every way.

"According to the information Dr. Cullen gave me, it should be fine if he's up for it." Billy answered me.

"Trust me, I'm up for it." He shifted his body closer to the edge of his bed.

A few groans later, he was sitting on the side of the bed, legs hanging over. He gripped the mattress and hung his head, concentrating on taking deep breaths.

"I should call Sam…" Billy began to turn his wheels.

"No." Jacob said firmly. "I…I don't need any help."

"Are you sure, Jake? Do you think you can stand on your own?" It wasn't my intention to make him feel weak.

He stared icily at me with a look I could only recognize as anger. Without speaking a word, he looked back down and I saw the muscles in his arms flex.

"NNnn…ughh." He grunted as he strained to raise his body off the bed.

Instinctively wanting to help, I rushed to him.

"Don't." His harsh voice struck me in a more hostile manner than usual.

Shocked and upset, I turned and swiftly ran from the room. I plunked myself down on the couch in the small den, and held my face in my hands. The sound of Jacob's angry voice was all I could think about. It tore me up to know it had been directed toward me. I had made him angry.

"Bella?"

I looked up to see Billy rolling into the room from the hallway.

"He's asking for you."

"Oh." I wiped my wet eyes with both hands, and stood to my feet.

The hallway was dark as I slowly walked back to Jacob's bedroom. When I got to his door, I was surprised to see it closed. I didn't know if I should knock or let myself in, so I did both.

As I peeked my head in, I could see Jacob standing by his closet, pulling a white muscle shirt over his head. It was impossible for me to take my eyes away from his flexing back muscles. I felt a brief sadness as I watched the snow-white cotton slide over his skin, hiding it from me. At least his arms weren't hidden and I could admire them all I wanted.

The door creaked as I entered the room, and he turned around quickly.

"Hey." He said as he walked toward me.

"Looks like your legs work pretty good." I couldn't hide my joy to see him walking again and I smiled.

"Sorry If I hurt your feelings earlier…"

"Don't worry about it." I shook my head. " _I'm_ sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel…"

"Stop Bells," He gently grabbed my face with his hands, and made me look him in the eyes. "Don't ever apologize to me. Ever."

His dark eyes made my knees weak and I felt the earth move underneath me. Okay, It really didn't move, but Jacob made me feel like I was in another dimension. It was like within the depths of those eyes was another world where only we existed and nothing bad could ever reach us.

I felt his incredibly warm hands move against my skin and it woke me from my Jacob trance. As he brought his hands away from my face, his fingers slowly slid across the surface of my skin, causing the tiny hairs on my entire body to rise.

The loss of his touch was definitely something to grieve over, and I frowned. He tousled his gorgeous dark locks with one hand and cleared his throat.

"So, where's your boyfriend?" He asked in a sour tone.

I really didn't want to talk about Edward.

"He's at home I guess."

"Why didn't you bring him here? With you, I mean?" His voice was quieter and slightly less bitter.

"He's…well…" It still hurt that I was so cruel to Edward, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk about the break-up. "We…Um, Edward and I…we're going to…actually, we already…"

"You already what?" He sounded upset and his eyes widened.

Before I could say anything, he walked past me and started looking through his dresser drawers as if desperate to find something.

"What are you doing?" I was curious.

"I can't stand this."

"What?"

"Not knowing anything."

"Jake…"

"Don't call me that. It doesn't feel right."

"Ja…please, it'll get better, you'll remember."

Finally, after throwing all of his things out of every drawer in his room, he stopped, breathless.

"Please, I'll help you get through this…" I tried to hide the sympathy in my voice, but it was impossible.

He roared and lifted his dresser, throwing it against the wall. I watched, completely horrified, as he picked up the large sections of broken cedar that hadn't been crushed completely, and slammed them onto the floor with amazing force.

"Jacob…" I whispered, knowing he didn't want to hear his name. With his wolf senses, he probably heard me anyway.

He looked up into the large mirror that was hanging on his wall, previously above his demolished dresser. I could see tears in his red eyes and my heart broke for him. His face changed and without a warning, his fist landed against the glass with unbelievable force, shattering it into little pieces.

Jacob's fist stayed in the mirror for a moment, then slid down, jagged shards slicing his skin on the way.

"Is everything alright in there?" Billy called from down the hall..

"Yeah, everything's fine!" I yelled out the door. When I turned back to Jacob, I could see he was trembling.

His body hunched over, and I heard a miserable sob break free from him. He fell to sit on the end of his bed, cradling himself.

I couldn't help it. My stomach felt ill at the sight of him like that, and I ran to him, throwing my arms around his shaking body.

"Why do I feel like this?" He cried.

"Like what? Tell me!" I was so scared for him. My eyes burned with moisture.

"Like…" He let out another deep sob. "…like I'm on fire."

"Fire?" I was so confused.

"…my skin…it hurts."

As I held him tighter, I could feel him trembling…_vibrating…_and it was becoming _faster_.

He was going to phase.

I released him and stumbled backward, backing into the bedroom door, unintentionally shutting it.

"Jacob!" I screamed in fear for him.

He held the back of his neck with his hands and curled in on himself. I had to calm him down, and fast.

Without hesitation, I rushed toward him and shoved him, the force sending him onto his back against the mattress. He was trembling and his eyes were squeezed shut, but I was on top of him, caressing his face.

I leaned down and brushed my lips against his cheek. He was still breathing fast, and shaking. My lips moved to his closed eyes and I kissed each one. I could feel his heart pounding hard against my own chest, and his breaths were quick and hot against my face.

"I'm here. It's ok." I breathed against his searing cheek.

His hands gripped my waist and I cried out at the strength behind his grasp, but he didn't ease up. Jacob's hands clamped onto me harder and I buried my face into his neck, muffling my cries.

He groaned as his body began to jerk and I knew I had to move fast. I finally raised my head from his neck despite the pain his hands were causing me.

Jacob was beginning to sweat, and his eyes never opened. He moaned and threw his head to the side, pressing his cheek hard into the mattress. There was only one thing I could do and If it didn't work, he would phase and...

I held his face with both hands and turned him to me, feeling his body vibrating beneath mine. Without wasting another moment, I took his warm lips into my mouth. He breathed hard through his nose, and I concentrated on his heartbeat. It was still thudding fast, and his eyes were still tightly shut. I released his lips and tilted my head, taking them in again, massaging them and sucking gently before letting them slip out. He panted and moaned, and the sound frightened me, but I didn't stop. As I slowly ran my lips across his smooth jaw line, I felt the vibrations slowing. His breaths were quick and loud when I brought my mouth back to his.

My eyes closed and I felt his lips part beneath mine. I could taste his breath as I inhaled it into my own lungs. It was hot in my throat, and I didn't want the sensation to end.

I felt his hands slowly loosening their painful grip on me, and I sighed into Jacob's mouth. The vibrations had completely stopped, but he was still trembling.

_Why isn't it working? _

His hands moved up my body and I flinched as I felt them grip my hair roughly. I released my hold on his mouth, and lifted my face away from his, gasping for much needed oxygen. Jacob's hands were still tangled in my hair and he pulled me down to him before I could catch a decent breath.

This time, his lips engulfed mine hungrily and I felt his hot tongue. My lips ached with a gratifying pain as he sucked them vigorously. Our mouths parted together and our tongues met briefly, sending a thrill straight to my southern realm.

As I relished in the taste of him, I gripped Jacob's shirt and began pulling it up, revealing his toned stomach. I couldn't stop my hands as they moved up his torso to his rock hard chest. My heart was aching and the butterflies were not solely in my stomach, but were fleeting through every part of my body. I eagerly kissed him back with as much passion and love I'd ever felt for him.

Then, he ripped his swollen lips away from mine much too early.

"No…Bella…stop." He panted, turning his face away from me.

I didn't want to stop. I tried to recapture his mouth, but he moved it further away.

"Please…don't…" He begged breathlessly.

_He doesn't want me this way_

My face met the fabric of his white shirt and I collapsed on top of him, our chests rising and falling together.

As I tried to catch my breath, Jacob gently pushed me off of him, leaving me alone on the bed.

He walked slowly to the mess he'd made. Pieces of broken mirror were laying everywhere, along with his dresser and the contents recently within. He just stood there, motionless.

I couldn't believe I'd just kissed Jacob like that. He didn't even know me. Any chance of him falling for me again, I had just flushed down the toilet. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and completely mortified at what I'd done to him.

He didn't know anything about phasing and he wouldn't understand why I'd done it. I probably looked like a disgusting tramp to him. Before the tears could rise, I jumped off his bed.

"Bella!" he turned and called to me as I ran out the door.


	15. I'm Not Alright

**NTYP Chapter 15**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph Meyer Owns Twilight**

* * *

**_I couldn't believe I'd just kissed Jacob like that. He didn't even know me. Any chance of him falling for me again, I had just flushed down the toilet. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and completely mortified at what I'd done to him._**

**_He didn't know anything about phasing and he wouldn't understand why I'd done it. I probably looked like a disgusting tramp to him. Before the tears could rise, I jumped off his bed._**

**_"Bella!" he turned and called to me as I ran out the door._**

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

The burning… the evil tiny needles that endlessly pierced every part of my flesh, finally began to fade as I tasted her sweet, tender lips. I couldn't think, I couldn't believe she would kiss me and she wasn't mine. But I wasn't going to think about that while I had her in my arms, feeling her, tasting her.

That stabbing in my heart was relentless, though. It seemed to be getting worse. She didn't belong to me. I wasn't allowed to keep her, to have her forever. Why did I need her, want her so much? Nothing else I'd learned about myself felt right, except for her. She made everything right. Bella was the only part of me I needed. But, she wasn't mine.

_I have to stop this_

"No…Bella…stop."

What had gotten into this girl? She tried to kiss me again, forcing me to turn away from her.

"Please…don't…" I begged, breathless.

Her head fell heavily onto my breast and her body went limp above me. I didn't want her to ever leave me, but I knew she would eventually have to. My chest constricted at the thought and I winced from the pain. Why couldn't she stay with me? Why did I care so much? Why was I holding her like that? The mother-fucker she belonged to was the only person with the right to do so.

I gently pushed her off of me and quickly removed myself from the bed.

What I saw completely baffled me.

_No. I didn't just fucking do all this shit in front of her_

My room was a disaster. What the hell was wrong with me? Oh. She was going to tell me what she and her…boyfriend…had _already_ done. What the hell did that mean? Were they engaged? Shit, were they already married? Once again, why the hell did I care? I didn't know her yesterday and yet I couldn't bear the thought of her with someone else.

_I'm a fucking moron_

As I stood there, completely in shock by my actions, she bolted out my bedroom door before I could stop her.

"Bella!" I called after her.

It didn't matter that I was still in my boxers. Pants weren't important, and who would be looking anyway? I couldn't let her leave, I needed to apologize.

"Bella!" I ran down the hall, but she was already out the front door. "Wait!"

"Jacob, what's going on…" Billy rolled out of the bathroom as I flew out the front door.

She was getting into her truck, and I kicked up dust as I ran faster to her. I rammed into the truck door, denting it, and grabbed onto the rolled down window.

"Please…don't …don't go yet!" She probably thought I was insane.

Bella didn't look at me. Her face remained forward, looking over the steering wheel as if I wasn't there.

"I..I'm ss..so so…sorry." I breathed heavily. It was obvious I hadn't been active in a while.

She shook her head and looked down.

"This was a mistake. I shouldn't come here again."

"What?" I panted. "What…no! Please, please…forgive me. I…I don't know what got into me. I swear…it…it won't ever, _ever _happen again." There it was. I was crying like a fucking baby.

"I don't think you can…I don't think _I _can live like this." She wiped her eyes. "You're not Jake anymore."

"No Bella. I'll be anything, anybody you want me to be. Call me Jake, please. Call me whatever you want." I moaned.

"It's not the same." She whispered.

There was an annoying repetitive sound coming from inside her truck. She rummaged around for a minute and then brought a cell phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

_Who is it? That son -of -a -bitch?_

"Hey. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Ok. I'm fine." She looked at me. "Jake's. Yeah. Soon, I promise. Ok, Dad. Bye."

I huffed in relief to hear it was only her dad.

She reached out the window and wiped at the stupid wetness on my face. I grabbed her wrist and stared into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Bella, I want to remember."

She looked away from me.

"Help me…remember." More stupid tears were running down my face.

"How?"

"Come see me…everyday."

"It's better if …you don't remember me."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Please." I searched her eyes. "You said we're friends, right? Friends visit each other."

"I don't know."

Bella wouldn't look at me.

"Don't worry about the stupid kiss." I told her. Maybe she felt bad about it, though I didn't understand why she had done it in the first place. She _did _have a boyfriend.

Her lips trembled and she turned the engine.

"Please, Bella. Come back."

She drove off without another word to me. I stood there, in my white shirt and boxers, watching my angel's red truck disappear behind clouds of dust.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I sped down the dirt drive as fast as my old truck would allow.

_He thought the kiss was…_stupid.

I, Isabella Swan, didn't deserve Jacob Black, and I wouldn't ruin his chance at a new, healthier life without me in it.

Now was my opportunity to make things right, and I needed to finally let Jacob go. I looked in my rear-view mirror, silently saying goodbye for good to the face of my unrequited love.

_Did you see him, Bella? He was crying… and it was because of you. YOU, as usual. _

"I'm such an idiot!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The tears were never-ending, making it almost impossible to see the road. I turned on the radio, and it just made things worse. The female's voice sang happily, 'kiss me, beneath the milky twilight…'

I screamed again and punched my radio, grabbing at it and trying to make the sound stop. Maybe If I wasn't so hysterical, I would've simply turned it off.

The volume knob ended up in my hand and I threw it out the window. Giving up on making the radio shut up, I slammed on my breaks and pulled off to the side of the road. I swung the car door open and fell out, landing on my knees.

I crawled away from the truck and found myself in the middle of the road, not far from the turn that lead to Jacob's house. There was no reason to move, no reason at all. Maybe I'd get lucky and a car would come around the bend too fast to stop, sending my body flying through the air, landing in a heap of mangled remains.

Still on my hands and knees, I dropped my face to the pavement and let it out. The beautiful boy who had always loved me was dead. Jacob was dead. He died that terrible day the Newborn tainted his perfect blood. Edward was too late. He could save his body, but not Jacob's soul.

As I laid in the middle of the silent road, mourning my loss, I was suddenly freezing. So cold, my teeth chattered. I hated it. I wanted to be warm again. I wanted to feel Jacob's lips, his body against mine again…but I wanted it to _really _be him. I'd gotten to kiss him and it wasn't really Jacob in there, the one who loved me and fought for me, and it made me want to die…literally. Why was I so cold?

I felt the world move around me, and I was getting dizzy. Emotionally exhausted and ready to give in to the depths of my sorrows, I was barely able to open my eyes. It was bright, and I squinted. My head turned to see who was carrying me, and I couldn't believe it.

_Edward?_

"What are you doing? What…" My words were heavy with my recent sob fest.

"Bella…" He gently placed me into the passenger's seat of my truck. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Yes."

* * *

**A/N: I know I know, Edward always has to show his sparkly little face! Don't worry, though ;)**


	16. Nothing Is As Beautiful

**NTYP Chapter 16**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

* * *

**_Edward?_**

**"What are you doing? What…" My words were heavy with my recent sob fest.**

**"Bella…" He gently placed me into the passenger's seat of my truck. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"**

**"Yes."**

**

* * *

**

In the blink of an eye, he was in the driver's seat beside me.

"Tell me what happened."

"No," The last person in the world I wanted to see was Edward. "Get out of my truck."

"Bella…"

"I just keep hurting him, Edward."

"What do you mean?"

"He's already confused enough as it is, and I made everything worse…"

"How?"

"…and I was going to tell him I broke-up with you…"

"Bella…"

"…I didn't get a chance to because he was going to phase…"

"He _what_?"

"I don't know why he was so angry…"

"Sweetheart…"

"…so I threw him on the bed…"

"_You_ threw _him_?"

"…and I kissed him and…"

"Bella." His loud voice silenced me. "You kissed him?"

"Yes." I looked away, afraid of his reaction.

"Did he…"

"He stopped me." I didn't want to admit it.

Edward nodded his head and did something to my radio to make it shut up, but I wasn't looking to see how he was successful.

"He…he hates me, Edward."

"I highly doubt that."

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm never seeing him again."

"You're not?" He swiftly changed the grin on his face to one of concern. "That's too bad."

The truck started moving down the road and I watched Edward through my blurry eyes. He was driving my truck. _My_ truck. We were getting further away from Jacob's house. I turned around to look out the rear window. The dirt road leading to the little red house was still in view. What the hell was I doing?

"Stop." Edward ignored me. "Stop!" That time he looked.

"Bella, what…"

"I said stop, Edward!"

When he didn't attempt to step on the breaks, I pulled the handle of my door and pushed it open. I felt an ice cold hand grip my arm.

"No! I have to go back to Jake!" I tried to pry his fingers off of me, but there was no use. He had me, and the truck drove at a measly 45 mph, but it seemed faster with me hanging out the door watching the fast moving pavement.

"Bella, what's wrong with you?" He pulled me back into the seat as if I were weightless, and had the door closed and locked before I registered it.

I felt panic rising in me. Edward never acted this way before. Sure, he had been controlling plenty of times, but this was different. I feared him.

"Bella, calm down, your heart is going to explode."

I could feel my heart beat increasing the further we got from Jacob. Why was Edward doing this? Was he kidnapping me or something?

"Please." I whined. "Let me go."

"Bella." He looked at me, eyes wide. "I'm not kidnapping you."

"Then let me out. I want to see Jacob."

"From what I heard, that didn't go so well."

"I shouldn't have left. What if he starts to phase again and I'm not there? I can't help him through it! He'll be scared!"

"Billy is there. The pack isn't far away."

"I love him!" I gasped, even though I was aware Edward already knew. He had tried to tell me himself, once.

He didn't say anything, he just stared at the road. My hands reached for the lock on the door, and Edward made no move to stop me. The tires screeched and my body was thrown forward, but Edward's stone arm stopped me from hitting the dash.

"Get out." His voice was cold.

I looked at him, completely confused and scared at the same time. He was just going to let me go? I didn't understand.

"I said get out."

With my face never leaving him, I backed out of the truck, unsure if he was actually going to let me. My feet hit the ground and I started my way back to Jacob's house on foot.

Running, I began to break a sweat in no time. My heart was pounding and I was completely out of breath. I could hear my truck behind me, turning around. I was panting and my run was slowing when Edward drove up beside me.

"Bella…"

I stopped running and bent over, completely winded.

"…do you want your truck back?" He spoke out the window.

"That…would be…nice…"

"_I_ can drive you back if you'd like."

Could I trust him again? Or was he going to drive off with me and not let me out this time? Taking my chances, I nodded to him and walked around to the passenger's side. He opened the door for me and I lazily climbed in.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I get stupid sometimes."

"Oh really…I never noticed." I said sarcastically.

"Ever since I realized Jacob was losing his memory, I thought there was no chance you would ever be with him."

"Well, Edward. Looks like you thought right." I said numbly.

"If you really believe that, why do you want to go back to him?"

There really was no good reason. Jacob was better off without me and I knew it.

"I'm a terrible person." I admitted.

"You're not…"

"I am…you have no idea."

He stepped on the gas, and I felt the butterflies start again. How was I going to explain to Jacob why I'd left? Hell, _I_ didn't even know why I'd left. Sure, he might have thought I was a slut who wanted to cheat on my boyfriend with him, but I could live with that. He could think anything he wanted of me.

I just couldn't live my life without him, whether or not he was mine. I wanted to see that beautiful smile on his face, even if I wasn't the one who put it there.

"It's wrong of me to see him." I whispered.

"Yes…and no." Edward nodded then shook his head. "He needs you, and you…" He paused for a long moment. "…_definitely_ need him."

Within just a couple minutes, we pulled into the dirt driveway. Just as Edward was putting the truck into park, I saw the front door of the house open. Jacob stood in the doorway with a look of surprise on his face. He was no longer in boxers, but faded jeans covered the length of his strong legs. The white muscle shirt was still complimenting his beautiful dark skin.

"He's very…_very _happy to see you again." Edward said solemnly.

I hurriedly climbed out of the truck and stood there, staring at Jacob staring back at me. An amazingly perfect grin spread across his face and his teeth literally shined like a prince from a Disney movie.

He stepped out of the house, letting the door shut behind him. He turned his gaze to my truck and the grin immediately faded. I followed his eyes to see Edward getting out.

_Oh no_

I suddenly recalled what had happened the night before.

"Edward, just go!" I shouted to him.

Jacob took a few steps toward us and shared a few glances between me and my ex.

"Hello Jacob." Edward spoke in his usual calm manner.

Jacob cocked an eyebrow at him and turned his head to me.

"Who's this, Bella?"

He pointed to Edward with one hand and the other was in a fist at his side, his arm muscles twitching.

"Jacob, this is Edward. My…"

"Boyfriend." Jacob growled through clenched teeth.

"No Jake, I…"

"I won't be staying, I was just dropping Bella off." Edward didn't let me finish.

"Fine." Jacob glared at Edward with those piercing eyes.

"Bella, I hope I'll have the pleasure of seeing you later this evening." Edward walked over to me and placed a single kiss on my cheek. The kiss was ridiculously drawn out, and while Edward's cold lips were chilling me to an uncomfortable degree, I looked over to Jacob.

His hands were in his hair, eyes planted at his feet, and I could see his chest heaving.

"Go Edward, you need to leave now." I whispered, but Jake probably heard me anyway.

He finally removed his lips from my skin and glanced toward Jacob. Sighing, he looked back at me, taking my hands in his.

"Bella, I…" He looked at my left hand and frowned. "My ring looked so good on you, I wish you were wearing…"

My body jumped at the loud, blood curdling cry that interrupted Edward's voice.

_Jake_

We both turned to see Jacob holding his head in his hands, and he sounded like something was killing him slowly. His body crumpled to the ground, shaking in the dirt.

"Edward get out of here, look what you've done!"

"I'm not leaving you with him like this."

Edward lifted me and in an instant, I was in my truck and he was walking toward Jacob.

_No Edward, don't. No No No._

Jacob was still writhing on the ground, his head and limbs thrashing. Terrifying deep growls that were an eerie mixture of animal and Jacob's tortured screams filled my ears. He was phasing, and it wasn't happening quickly.

I watched horrified and helpless from inside my truck, as Jacob's teeth began to lengthen and grow to sharp points. I covered my ears when the cracking sounds started, and Jacob shrieked louder. Tears were running down his face, and I knew he was suffering.

What if he was stuck like that? What if the venom from that Newborn made him unable to phase completely?

Edward was standing over him, watching with a concerned expression on his face. He reached a hand out and touched Jacob's trembling body.

His shaking quickened until he was just a blur against the earth. Before my eyes, Jacob's body stretched. His shape slowly transformed, the loud cracking and howling echoing throughout the quiet reservation.

"Oh God!" I held my knees tightly to my chest and watched the man I was in love with morph into an enormous, beautiful, red-brown wolf.

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**xoxo Thanks for the reads and reviews xoxo love you all xoxo -donttgettmeupsett- **


	17. Fire Starts With A Flicker

**NTYP Chapter 17**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns The Characters**

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**His shaking quickened until he was just a blur against the earth. Before my eyes, Jacob's body stretched. His shape slowly transformed, the loud cracking and howling echoing throughout the quiet reservation.**

**"Oh God!" I held my knees tightly to my chest and watched the man I was in love with morph into an enormous, beautiful, red-brown wolf.**

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Jacob ferociously snarled at Edward, who was still standing there with the same expression on his face…

_Edward, what are you doing?_

I jumped out of the truck and ran to them.

Jacob's fangs were bared, and I grabbed Edward's arm, trying to pull him away. He didn't move.

"Edward, he's going to hurt you!"

Just then, several huge wolves emerged from the surrounding trees. Edward took my hand and quickly started toward my truck. Jacob roared from behind us and instantly, Edward's hand was ripped away from mine. Jacob's enormous paws shoved the vampire hard into the dirt, and I ducked near to the ground, shielding my head with my arms.

I heard a high-pitched cry and looked up to see the huge wolf's strong jaws clamped around the vampire's comparably tiny body. Jacob shook his head wildly, flinging Edward around like he were nothing but a chew toy he was set on destroying.

Jacob was going to shatter Edward right in front of me. I couldn't breathe as I watched the wolf's fangs violently gnawing on the stone relic.

Just as I covered my eyes with my hands, my body was lifted from the ground and I was being carried into the house.

"What's Edward doing here?" Seth shouted as he let me down.

Billy was looking out a window and I ran to join him. I could feel Seth's presence behind me when he asked me again, but I couldn't focus on anything but the chaos outside.

The vampire and wolf were tangled, wrestling on the ground. I heard a loud popping sound that, despite me being inside, hurt my ears. Jacob no longer had his grip on Edward, and he was whimpering loudly.

Billy looked away and let out a string of words in a language I didn't understand. As much as I hated to watch, I couldn't remove myself from the window.

Edward stumbled away from Jacob, who he'd obviously injured in some way, and locked eyes with me.

"Edward!" I screamed as I saw the black wolf closing in on him from behind.

There was nothing I could do as I watched Sam's massive form slam into the vampire.

"No!" I turned and ran for the door.

"Bella, stay out of it!" Billy yelled to me.

"Sam!" I shrieked as I saw his fangs snapping at Edward's face. The vampire had his hands in the ebony fur, fingers digging into the wolf's thick neck.

"Please stop!" I kept a good distance from them as I continued screaming until my throat began to burn.

Sam and Edward continued their brawl without any notice of me.

The black wolf swung his large head, knocking the vampire out from under him. The loud sound of the impact made me scream, as Edward's body was thrown against my truck, sending it spiraling into the air.

It felt like I was in some crazy dream…or nightmare, as I witnessed Edward and my little red truck crashing to the ground. Edward's body was lying motionless not far from the debris.

He was face down in the grass, and I didn't know whether to breathe yet or not. I thought he was dead…never mind, hurt…but then I saw his arm move, and next, his leg. Then in a streak, he was at my side.

Edward took my hand in his.

The black wolf stalked toward us, releasing a long, deep growl.

"I am sorry, Sam. Yes, I know. It was foolish of me to come. Yes, I _am_ aware of that." The vampire and wolf continued their supernatural conversation, while I was trying to comprehend the events that had just occurred.

Sam nodded his large head at Edward, then turned and bolted into the forest.

"Edward." I breathed, my voice flat.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I hope you understand It was necessary to help Jacob phase quicker… for _his_ sake." He placed a cold hand on my cheek. "I'm leaving now, but…will you come with me?" He stared earnestly into my eyes.

_You're the one who started it, with the kiss and the ring..._

The expression on my face must've answered his question, because he frowned and looked away. I shook my head slowly and removed his hand from my cheek.

Then I heard the whimpering, and I remembered Jacob had been hurt. I turned to see him sprawled out on the ground. He hadn't phased back into human form, and several wolves surrounded him.

"Goodbye, Edward." Without waiting for a response, I turned my back on him.

I rushed to Jacob's side and immediately began running my hands through his soft maple coat.

"It's okay Jake. You're okay." I looked up at the pack. "Please let him know he's okay." I hoped they were comforting him with silent words.

Sam came running up to the scene, no longer a wolf, and joined me at Jacob's side.

"Edward wasn't trying to hurt…" I started.

"He's gone now." Sam interrupted me. "He won't show his face around here for a while."

Jacob whined and I noticed his left front leg was tucked into his breast.

"Can he phase back?" I asked worriedly.

"He needs to relax before he can." Sam answered me.

"Don't be scared." I buried my face into the silky fur, running my fingers over his soft ears, stroking and pulling them gently. "Just breathe…deep and slow"

My words didn't seem to bring comfort as he panted faster, then let out a terrible whine that made me flinch. The long strands of fur that were between my fingers began to shorten, tickling my skin. I lifted myself away from him and looked down at his changing face.

"Why is it taking so long?" I shouted at Sam.

Sam didn't answer me, but the wolves began to whimper as Jacob's body continued to mutate. One...I think it was Quil, collapsed to the ground, pawing his face and grinding his head into the dirt.

"They can feel what he's feeling" Sam spoke quietly.

Jacob's howling and whining was interchanging, as his snout slowly began to shrink, and I could see a trace of his human features coming into form.

He let out a painful sob as the morphing finally ended, and my Jacob was fully himself again,..physically.

Before I had a chance to throw myself on top of him, which I was completely set on doing, Sam swiftly scooped him up and carried him into the house.

"Does he need a doctor?" I asked Sam as he placed Jacob on the couch.

Once again, I didn't get an answer.

Seth came out of one of the bedrooms holding a blanket, and quickly draped it over Jacob's naked body.

"Ahh..._shit_!" Jacob screamed when Sam lifted his arm to examine it.

"Son…" Billy wheeled himself into the room, his face twisted with worry. "Sam, he'll be alright?"

"His arm's dislocated at the shoulder. I can take care of it."

Sam gripped Jacob at the collar bone with one hand and his injured arm with the other. I didn't want to watch…or hear, so I turned around and covered my ears. I still heard the loud pop, and I turned around quickly when I heard him cry out.

"_Fuck_!" Jacob winced and held his injured arm with his right hand.

"You'll feel fine in about …uh, I'd say an hour." Sam told him.

"What the hell…was that." Jacob shouted.

"You're not the only one like this." Sam spoke calmly.

"The voices..." Jacob closed his eyes and shook his head.

"We can talk about this later." Sam told him, and then looked at me. "I'm going to check on the rest of the pack."

"Ok." I nodded, then knelt beside the couch.

"Come, Seth." Sam motioned for the boy to follow.

"Feel better, Jake." Seth gave an innocent smile, then he placed a warm hand on my back. "See ya around, Bella." He hurried out the door after Sam.

Then it was quiet.

"So…" Billy's voice startled me...i was always forgetting he was there. "…you two still up for some pizza?"

Billy laughed and I could understand he was trying to lighten the mood. Jacob just moaned. He shut his eyes and seemed to relax, his body sinking into the length of the couch. Without even thinking about it, I reached out and slid my fingers through his hair.

"Uhh, I'll leave you two alone for a few…I'm just going to, well, I'll be in my room if you need me." Billy turned and started down the hall in his wheelchair.

I waited until I heard his bedroom door close before I spoke.

"Jake?"

He didn't answer me, but his breathing seemed to be slowing and I watched his chest rise and fall. It was almost fascinating to watch. I still wasn't used to seeing, or hearing, him breathe on his own. I was so tempted to place my hand there, where his heart beat furiously beneath his hot chest.

"Don't touch me." Jacob's voice was miserable, and I reluctantly released his beautiful hair. He didn't look at me.

I thought of the last time he was still my Jacob, and he had told me the same words. The memory was like a drill through my heart…It was _so_ painful to _remember_.

_His arms around me…and I confessed my love, and he cried into me. I'd do anything to go back and-_

"Bella…"

His soft voice awoke me from the memory I would never be able to share with him.

"Why are you here?" He asked, still facing away from me.

"Where else would I be?" I whispered, fighting the urge to caress his face. "I don't want to be anywhere else." I laid my head against his stomach, and I felt his body tense.

"How can you …" His voice was sad. "…stand to be near me…?"

"What are you talking about?" I lifted my head and waited for him to turn and look at me. It didn't happen.

"Please, just go…" His voice cracked. "…go to him."

"Ja…Why? Do you really want me to go?" My stomach twisted and I immediately felt ill.

"No." He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't." He breathed.

I was elated at his words. He wanted me to stay, and so I would…for as long as he'd allow me to.

"Bella, I…" He blinked and a single tear rolled down his cheek. I wanted to catch it with my lips, to kiss it away, to swallow all of his pain. "I'm…a freak"

_Are you kidding me?_

He was anything but a freak! He was perfectly perfect in every-single-way.

"You're not! God, Jake…you're…_amazing_." I wasn't sure what to say, what he needed to hear.

"Your boyfriend should've finished me."

"No! Don't…don't even _think_ that!" I stood to my feet, my sympathy quickly turned to anger. "And he's _not_ my boyfriend!"

Finally, Jacob turned to look at me, eyes wide. He seemed surprised, but his expression quickly changed to one of confusion.

"He's not…?"

I shook my head.

"No, I kind of ended it with him."

"Kind of?" His face dropped and my heart did along with it. It killed me to see the inner turmoil I knew he was going through reflected on his beautiful face.

"Things will get better, Jake…" I said his name again. "…Oh, sorry…"

_Bella, stop messing up..._

"It's ok, I like it." His mouth turned up at the corner. "My name, I mean."

I sighed and returned the smile.

_Ok Bella, stop being awkward..._

"Well, how about that pizza?" I kicked the couch in a playful manner, and he gave a small laugh.

"Hell yeah. You've kept me waiting long enough, Miss 'i'll make you anything you want and then runs away without an explanation.'" His voice was so deep and hypnotic, It did strange things to me. I could feel my pulse beating against my pressure points. I wondered if he was aware of what he did to me.

"Oh, I'm really sorry about that." I looked at the floor and shoved my hands into my pockets. Why did I feel so shy around him?

His face changed and then he sighed.

"Bella?" He slowly sat up. "You can sit down, you know."

"Yeah." I breathed nervously. "I guess I could."

He moved his legs off the couch, carefully making sure the blanket didn't slide off, then sat up straight, exhaling deeply.

I nervously sat down next to him, and my heart raced as I felt his body temperature warming the space between us.

A long moment went by when neither one of us looked at the other, or said anything.

"What happened outside?" He finally broke the silence, his voice low. "Please tell me I'm not crazy.."

"Oh..." How was I supposed to tell him he didn't imagine morphing into a giant dog? "It's nothing bad. You just...your body can change."

He didn't respond and I looked up at him. He seemed to be staring at _nothing_ with a blank expression on his face.

"Nothing bad?" He whispered and grimaced. "I make you sick...don't I..."

I looked at him, completely appalled at the notion. I tried making myself taller by getting up onto my knees...Then, I grabbed his face with my hands, probably too roughly, and forced him to look at me.

"Never." I squeezed his cheeks with my fingers and stared into his dark eyes. "_Never. _Do you get that?."

He huffed through his nose and closed his eyes. He nodded twice and I let go of him.

"I don't understand how the fuck..."

"Everything will make sense after you talk with Sam." I interrupted him.

He turned his face to me slowly.

"Bella..." I watched his lips part as he spoke my name, and I wanted to taste them again.

His wet eyes met mine and I couldn't look away, even with all the butterflies filling my core

_I love you…God I love you Jacob. I want to tell you._

I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the words that were so threatening to leak from my lips, then I felt the scorching heat against my skin.

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**A/N: Trying to update as often as I can. I'm real busy, so I'm sorry if the updates get a little further apart! I'm trying to get at least 2 chapters up a week. Thanks to all the beautiful readers! xoxo lots of love xoxo-donttgettmeupsett-**


	18. Losing Control

**NTYP Chapter 18**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

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**He turned his face to me slowly. His wet eyes met mine and I couldn't look away, even with all the butterflies filling my core.**

**_I love you…God I love you Jacob. I want to tell you._**

**I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the words that were so threatening to leak from my lips, then I felt the scorching heat against my skin.**

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**Jacob's POV**

"Please tell me I'm not crazy.."

_And could somebody please explain to me how the fuck I just turned into a dog?_

"Oh.." Her voice was soft.

_I knew it, I'm mental...deranged...completely cracked_

"It's nothing bad. You just...your body can change."

_Holy shit...she's crazy too_

I finally got the damn waterfall from my eyes under control, but my head was killing me, and I just wanted a bottle of pain pills or_ something._ My entire body felt like it had been thrown into hell and back. I would probably have to down the whole bottle to get even the _slightest _bit of relief.

_What really happened outside? I was angry...ok...and that Edgar guy had his grimy fingers on Bella...fuck him... Then I was on fire, the stabbing again, that burning like before...in my room when ...ah, when she kissed me... then My bones were...breaking or something?...the pain...then I felt different...I_ was _different. I wasn't human...I attacked him with my...mouth? Shit, I've totally lost it...but, what if? What if somehow it was real? Oh my God-_

"Nothing bad?" I was going to throw up. _She_ probably wanted to throw up. "I make you sick...don't I..." I wanted to find that bottle of pain pills, chug it, overdose, and end the insanity that was my life.

Then she touched me, and I changed my mind.

"Never." Her soft hands were on my face. Damn those tiny hands were stronger than they looked. "_Never. _Do you get that?" She squeezed me hard and it felt so..._good_. I nodded to let her know I understood, then she released my face, lowering herself onto the couch beside me.

She had almost been in my lap, and I wished she would grab me like that again...

_Honestly Bella, I don't understand...I don't understand anything_

How did I not make her want to puke? She didn't mind that I was a mutant? How was it even possible for something like me to exist?

"I don't understand how the fuck..."

"Everything will make sense after you talk with Sam."

_Sam? ...Sam_

That name was _so_ familiar. Why did I feel like he was important? Ah well, I didn't really give a shit. It's not like anything he had to say would make things better. The only thing that made the nightmare I woke up to worth living...was _her._

_She's still here...with me...does that mean she cares? How much, though? As much as I care for her? There's no way she needs me as much as I need her. If I were normal, maybe she'd like me...maybe she'd even _want_ me._

_Shut the fuck up, stupid. She's too good for you_

I was disgusting, and she...she was so perfect it made my heart ache. She could ask me to shove a steel knife into my heart, and I'd gladly do it, if it's what she wanted.

Slowly, I turned to look at her beautiful face. Her fair skin was like smooth porcelain. I had to touch it... but would she let me?

"Bella..." My breaths were shaky as I admired every inch of her delicate features, and I gulped hard.

_How long have you known about me... what I am?_

My stomach twisted painfully when her cocoa eyes met mine... and I was completely lost in the the beauty of her_. _As hard as I tried, I couldn't get my nerves under control, and I knew I was breathing strange. I was a wreck, and I hoped she didn't notice. She was so damn close, and I had her all alone, and I wanted to kiss her again...like before.

Then she closed her eyes and her breathing paused.

My heart stopped.

She couldn't even look at me. She was too good to tell me the truth...how she really felt about me...that I _did_ make her sick.

_Damnit__!_

I hated myself...even more than I hated that pale guy.

Was it wrong to feel this way about Bella? How could I let all the love and adoration I felt for her that would never run out for as long as I breathed, just go to waste? My angel still wouldn't look at me, but I was in awe of her. What kind of shit did she know about me that I didn't...and yet she'd stay...she'd be my friend? Was I falling in love with her? Hell, I knew I was in love with her.

My shaking hand reached out and my fingertips gently met her skin. A chill shot through my whole body.

_What am I doing?_

She smelled so incredible. My angel was intoxicating my senses again. Her scent made my mind hazy, and I could barely think straight.

_Ohh God..._

I silently moaned to myself. My emotions were ridiculous...nearly choking me. I was beginning to feel nauseous.

_Don't puke on her, dumb-ass_

I moved my hand across her porcelain skin to feel the chocolate strands of perfection gracefully framing her face. My fingers slid through her hair and she took in a sharp breath. I told myself to stop, but I couldn't as my fingers glided through the silkiness with ease. My body needed her desperately and I fought the urge to pull her towards me and devour her mouth.

_Don't do it, don't you fucking do it_

I scooted closer to her, and I really just wanted to throw that stupid blanket out of the way, but I knew it wouldn't have been the best thing to do at that moment.

Her heart was beating rapidly, and I could hear it pounding beneath her ribcage. I could feel my body temperature rising as my hand trailed down her neck and over her fluttering heart.

"Jacob..." She breathed as I watched my hand rise and fall with her heaving chest.

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**Bella's POV**

His touch... the fire that I could never get enough of, made my head spin. My heart beat furiously as I took in the feeling of his hand on me, and I was breathing so fast I was dizzy. His palm burned through my shirt, and I wished he would just rip it off of me...and feel me.

I looked up into his flushed face, and his piercing eyes were nearly black as they stared into mine. He gently brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes. Oh god, my desire for him was overwhelming, and he was so magnificently handsome…I thought I would just die if he didn't take me right there on the sofa.

He turned his body toward me, and his warm hands grabbed my waste. I looked down at his fingers that gripped me, and with a sudden jerk of his arms, I was pulled forward. My body slammed against his hard torso, knocking the breath out of me. His burning hands moved up my body and I whined from the pain and pleasure when he gripped my hair. I stared into his deep eyes as he leaned in closer to me, and my body tensed with anticipation.

My eyes closed and I felt the scorching heat as he panted hot breaths against my face. He let out a low groan as he caressed my cheek with his, dragging his parted lips over my face, inhaling deeply through his nose.

"..Jacob..please..." I breathed.

I brutally gripped his amazing biceps and held onto him as I moved my face to his smooth chest. Slowly, I tasted his delicious skin with the tip of my tongue, and I felt him tremble. His hands moved to my thighs and he hastily lifted me onto his lap, pressing me into him hard where most of his heat dwelled, and I could feel how much he needed me, making me throb to an almost painful degree.

_Jake…tell me you want me. Tell me you need me...like I need you..._

My hands trailed up his muscular arms and over his broad shoulders. I shook with pleasure as his mouth slid over my collar bone and up my neck, tickling me with his tongue. I ran my fingers along his back and he moaned my name as he continued placing wet kisses on my neck. I whimpered and grabbed two fistfuls of his hair. He groaned against my cheek, and the vibration made my skin tingle. I turned my head, searching for his mouth.

Our breaths combined and our parted lips barely touched as I inhaled his divine scent. I closed my eyes, taking in the burn of his quick breaths against my open mouth. I had to taste him again, but I wanted to ask him this time.

"Jaco…" I was silenced by the softest, most amazing pillows engulfing me hungrily, and I couldn't breathe from the surprise and utter joy. My heart had never beat so crazily, and I pulled his hair harder.

"Uhhnngg…Bell…aah…" He moaned into my mouth as my teeth clamped down on his bottom lip. I didn't mean to hurt him, but God…I seriously wanted to eat him alive.

His hands moved up my shirt, feeling every inch of my back, and his fingers pulled at my bra strap. I felt his teeth gently nip my tongue and I ground myself onto him hard, causing the throbbing in my lower region to intensify, and I felt a strange tingling emerging from deep within me.

I ran a hand over his hot, damp chest, feeling his hardened nipple slide between my fingers. He leaned back, breathless, as he watched me admire his body. He trembled and I saw his muscles tighten as my fingertips ran down his rippled stomach.

He gasped when I reached the blanket that covered his lap. I looked up at him and his eyes were wide as he stared at my hands that gripped the blanket. He let out a shaky breath.

_Don't cross the line, Bella. Ohh god, but I want to_

I released the blanket and held my face in my hands, breathing deeply.

_Get off of him, this is not the time...or place_

Then I felt a scorching hand slide up my shirt and rest against my stomach. The feeling of him touching me there sent a new wave of pleasure through me, and I inhaled sharply.

Something hard as iron hit me and the room spun. I was lying on the sofa, Jacob's immaculate body hovering above me. He pressed into me hard, gripping my thigh and hooking it around his flexing back. His lips were on my face again, and he wrapped his arms around me, crushing my body tightly to his. I could feel him between my legs, pressing into me, despite the fabric between us.

Jacob's plump lips found my mouth once more and the butterflies were violently assaulting every part of me again. His body began moving against mine, and he was unable to hold onto my lips as he whimpered with every thrust. Oh god, my head was spinning, and I thought I was going to pass out.

_We can't do this here...with Billy in the house_

"No..." I breathed between his hungry kisses. "Sto.." He silenced me with his moist lips again as his thrusts became faster, and his arms held me even closer to him.

"I..." His lips lingered against mine. "...I want to..." He panted steam against me. "...can I..."

_Yes Jake, take me...right now_

My logic and my heart were fighting an inevitable battle, and I knew which had to win.

"No..." I took his face in my hands and pushed him away from me, but his eyes were drooping with desire and he aimed for my lips again. I held his face harder, and dug my fingertips into his skin. "No!" I was shouting more at myself than I was him.

His eyes widened and he stared at me, worry spread over my Jacob's face. He immediately released his hold on me, backing away fast and holding the blanket to himself.

_Jake, you don't know. I want more, so much more_

I crossed my arms over my face and breathed deeply, trying to suppress my monstrous Jacob appetite.

"Bella…?" He asked in a pained voice. "…Oh my god." His words were strained as he scooped me up and cradled me as if I were a delicate flower. I moved my arms and looked up at him. His eyes were so dark and so… sad. He buried his face in my hair. " I'm so sorry…."

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***sigh* Seriously wishin I was Bella right now... ;D**


	19. Something I See In You

**NTYP Chapter 19**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

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**_Jake, you don't know. I want more, so much more_**

**I crossed my arms over my face and breathed deeply, trying to suppress my monstrous Jacob appetite.**

**"Bella…?" He asked in a pained voice. "…Oh my god." His words were strained as he scooped me up and cradled me as if I were a delicate flower. I moved my arms and looked up at him. His eyes were so dark and so… sad. He buried his face in my hair. " I'm so sorry…."**

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"No no no, it's alright." I gently stroked his cheek. "I promise." He lifted his face, and his eyes were red.

"What the hell's wrong with me…" His lips quivered and he shook his head." I just…" He lowered his face into the crook of my neck and held me in his familiar crushing embrace. "You smell…" He inhaled deeply. "…so good and you don't know how beautiful you are…" His nose brushed against my neck and my eyes rolled back as I felt his hot breath puff against my skin. "You don't have to forgive me."

"Jacob…" The dull ache in my heart was unrelenting and three little words were screaming to get out"…I lov…"

He turned his head quickly toward the hall and I heard a door shut. His arms released me and I fell off of him, hitting the floor with a loud thud.

"Shit!" Jacob whispered.

He frantically straightened the blanket over himself and I scrambled to a decent sitting position on the floor, legs crossed.

"Hey Bil..uh, dad." Jacob said in a nervous tone as his father appeared from the hall.

Billy cocked an eyebrow. "You two have a nice little chat?" He smirked.

"Uh Yeah, Bella had tons to talk about…right ? Bella?"

"Yep. Tons." I nodded fast, trying not to blink a zillion times.

"Pizza should be here soon, just letting you two know." He winked at me.

"Thanks." We both said in unison

"Okay." Billy laughed his rumbling laugh, then turned and rolled down the dark hall again.

I guess he could feel the uncomfortable vibe in the room, considering what a hurry he was in to get out of there.

"Oh my gosh…that was scary." I said, standing to my feet.

"I nearly pissed my pants…well…" Jacob looked down at his covered body. "…I should probably put some on."

"Yeah, pants would be good." I looked at my hands and twiddled my fingers.

_Stop being awkward, Bella_

Jacob slowly rose from the couch, wrapping the blanket snug tight to his body.

"Um, I'm going to get dressed." He told me. "Don't go anywhere…" He looked worried.

"I'll be right here." I pointed to my feet.

"Promise?"

"Promise." I gave him a gentle smile.

He still looked worried, but he nodded and gave me a beautiful grin in return.

"I won't be long." He swiftly turned and made his way down the hall.

I exhaled loudly and stared up at the ceiling.

_Why does he have to be so amazing…gaahhh_

There was a loud knock at the front door, and my body jumped at the sudden sound. I sighed and figured it was the pizza guy. It wouldn't hurt if I got the door for Billy, he was back in his room anyway.

I slowly opened the door, and a man's loud, irritating voice grated at my eardrums.

"Pizza here..!" He literally screamed at me before I even had the door opened all the way and I winced.

"Uh...o...okay...just a sec…" I shut the door in his face, and checked my pockets.

"Crap." I'd left my money, my wallet, everything at home.

_How many pizzas was that? Like ten? I wouldn't have the money anyway._

"Billy?" I called as I walked down the hall. "Mr. Black?"

When I passed Jacob's room, I thought I heard crying and my legs halted immediately. I waited until I heard it again, then I slowly took a step closer to Jacob's bedroom door and gently pressed my ear against it. At first I heard nothing, but then I heard a low moan and my heart skipped a beat.

_Oh my god, Jake…_

Was he hurt? My hand reached for the doorknob.

"Bella?" My body froze at Billy's voice. "Did you call me?"

I dropped my hand and turned around, my back against Jacob's door.

"Yeah, um…the pizza guy's here, and I'm sorta broke right now…"

"Don't worry, I've got it."

I heard the door open behind me and felt a warm breeze exit Jacob's room, enveloping me before the cool air absorbed it. I closed my eyes.

"What are you guys doing in the hallway?" That deep, smooth voice caused goosebumps to rise over my entire body. "Bella?"

My eyes shot open and Billy was looking at me funny.

"Bella?" Billy repeated Jacob. "…are you okay?"

"Yeah, um…" I ran a hand through my hair, then pointed at the front door. "..you better get the pizza before that guy beats down the door."

Billy laughed and passed by me surprisingly fast in that little chair of his.

"Hey…?" My favorite voice in the whole world spoke again.

I quickly turned around to see the most gorgeous man in the world standing in the doorway, looking down at me. My eyes met his and I was literally stunned and couldn't move.

"…is something wrong?" His deep, smooth voice numbed my brain and my body tingled.

_Is something wrong? With me? Wasn't he the one who was just crying? Or...wait...if he wasn't crying, then what...?_

My thoughts were interrupted by the strong scent of Jacob's skin... like the spring rain falling hard against the greenest leaves, and I breathed in deeply forgetting to exhale.

I took in his appearance, trailing away from his eyes to the white t-shirt that hugged his body so perfectly I could see the outline of his amazing muscles. Both of his hands were holding tight to the door frame and I watched his tan arms flexing to keep himself in place. I looked up meeting his gaze again and I felt woozy as his perfect features started to blur…becoming completely out of focus. I closed my eyes and finally exhaled.

My legs buckled and I felt his large arms catch me before I hit the floor.

"Whoa!" He helped me back to my feet and held me, pressing my body to his. "What's wrong?"

_Let's see, Jake. You're so freaking hott I just practically fainted...!_

"N...nothing." I clung to him and he stroked my hair lovingly with his hand. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" His voice was quiet and gentle. I looked up at him, and his eyes were also gentle. "Think you need some food...low blood sugar...?"

"Yeah..." I silently laughed to myself. "That's it..."

"Come on." After Jacob made sure I was able to stand on my own again, he took my hand and lead me toward the wonderful aroma in the kitchen. Billy was already helping himself to a slice of pizza when we entered.

"Hey old man." Jacob said loudly and I thought Billy was going to choke on his pizza. I was right. Jacob hurried to him and began pounding his fist against his father's back. "You should probably try chewing next time." Jacob shouted over Billy's gags and coughs.

"You can stop...beating me now, kid." Billy croaked. "You called me 'old man'."

"Sorry 'bout that." Jacob walked to the counter and opened a pizza box. "You're not old."

"You used to call me that all the time." Billy's voice was somewhere between happy and sad.

"Really?" He continued searching through the pizza boxes, opening nearly all of them. "Where the fu, I mean...where's the meat?"

I laughed and sat down in a wooden chair at the kitchen table and watched Jacob intently. He was better than any kind of entertainment you could think of.

"Oh yeah baby, here it is." He scooped up nearly the entire supreme pizza and stacked it on his plate. My mouth fell open.

"You're not going to eat all of that, are you?" I had seen Jacob eat a ton before, but I could never get used to it. He looked up from his plate and looked at me.

"I..um.." He looked back at the plate. "...well..I jus..uh..." Jacob stuttered and dropped the plate onto the counter.

"You always eat that much." Billy told him. "Why do you think I bought so many pizzas?"

Jacob stood there dumbfounded with his hands on his hips. "Then why the hell aren't I obese or something?"

Billy and I laughed.

"Guess you got some stellar genes, Jacob." I giggled looking at him standing there...like Peter Pan. He turned around and took his plate again, smiling this time.

"Come on, Bella." Jacob gestured for me to get up. " Let's eat in the garage." He started for the front door.

I gasped and shot a look at Billy.

_Did you tell him about his garage...his mechanic work?_

Billy shook his head as if he knew what I wanted to ask him.

"Looks like it's going to rain." Jacob looked out the window. "We better hurry."

Jacob was reminding me more and more of his old self, but I didn't want to get my hopes up so I refused to get excited.

After throwing a few cheese slices on a paper plate, I met Jacob at the front door. He grinned at me and began to place an arm around my waste.

"You better hold onto that plate with both your hands, or I doubt it'll make it to the garage." I told him.

"Look who's talking." His grin got wider and he shook his head. He slowly opened the door and I heard thunder. I was terrified of lightning, so I just wanted to get to the garage as fast as possible.

I followed Jacob as he stepped out of the house, and before we were even a couple feet from the door, it started pouring. I screamed and dropped my plate of pizza, covering my head with my arms.

"It's just rain, Bella!" He shouted over the loud downpour. "It won't hurt you!"

He grabbed my hand and we ran for the red garage. The dirt was already turning to mud, and my shoe got stuck. My hand slipped out of Jacob's, and I threw my arms out to catch myself.

"Bella!" Jacob yelled as I fell into the sludge. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up just as thunder roared and lightning crashed shortly after.

We finally got to the garage, and Jacob opened the heavy doors with a grunt. I ran inside, completely soaked and covered in rusty brown gunk.

Jacob flipped a switch and I could see he was soaked too, except he only had brown gunk on his arm. He was still holding his plate of pizza.

"I'm so glad..." I panted "..you have electricity in here."

He glanced around the room and then his gaze stopped at something. My eyes followed his to the car that sat in the middle of the rickety little building.

"I haven't seen the rabbit in so long."

"What?" My eyes went back to Jacob, his wet hair was matted and dripping into his face. "What did you say?"


	20. Please Don't Go

**NTYP Chapter 20**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Jacob ;**(**

**(nooo damn her!)**

_** || A/N: **The song featured in this chapter is** Please don't go by Barcelona. **If you've never heard it, check it out right now _

**

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**

**He glanced around the room and then his gaze stopped at something. My eyes followed his to the car that sat in the middle of the rickety little building.**

**"I haven't seen the rabbit in so long."**

**"What?" My eyes went back to Jacob, his wet hair was matted and dripping into his face. "What did you say?"**

**

* * *

**

I stared at Jacob who slowly walked toward his beloved little machine. He set the plate down on a stool, and he smiled big. Then he turned his head to look at the short row of motorcycles to his left. He walked over to one and reached a hand out to stroke the shiny painted metal. He let out a shaky "Ooohh."

"Jacob?" I asked, but he didn't turn around. What did he remember…?

I wiped some wet hair out of my face and walked toward him. He continued stroking the dips and curves of the motorcycle when I reached him, and I placed a hand on his back. His t-shirt was soaked all the way through, sticking to his body.

My heart beat unevenly, and I could feel every jittery thump as I waited for him to say something. "You're remembering, Jake." I said softly, my heart in my throat.

Jacob made some noises that sounded like he was choking...or maybe he was just trying to find words.

"I remember…?" He said quietly. He turned around suddenly with a bright look in his wide eyes. His warm hands took hold of my arms and he shook me once, bringing me closer to his warm, wet body. "I remember!"

Oh god, it was happening? He did remember? I stared into his excited eyes and I knew my own face was a replica of his. I wanted to scream and laugh and cry, but before I could, I was smothered by his large comforting arms around me.

I felt his body shake with joy as he held me in his crushing bear-hug. He had me so tight, I couldn't hold him in return…but I still never wanted him to let me go.

"Jacob…" My words were muffled as I spoke into his shirt. "Jake..." He slowly released me, still beaming. "You didn't remember anything yesterday." I looked up at his wet face. I was sure it was the rain. "When? How? I mean…what do you know..?"

He stared at me for a moment, then his smile fell and he looked confused. "In the kitchen…I thought about my car…" He closed his eyes.

I felt the joy rising in me. "What all do you remember?" I asked him impatiently.

"Uhh..." He looked over my head. "This place… what I do here. My things." He looked over at a table that had some tools spread out over it. "It feels like…I've found something that I lost... a long time ago."

My heart sank and I wondered if he could hear it.

"You don't know how good this feels, Bella." His voice sounded like his throat was tight.

"But…" I could feel my eyes moisten and he was still looking around me at his…toys. "…what about…" My voice cracked and I tried so hard not to be…_depressed_. I shouldn't have felt jealous of his stupid junk that was so important he could remember them and not me.

Jacob's gaze quickly returned to my face and his wide eyes stared into mine. His smile was blinding and I knew _I_ looked upset, but I couldn't help it. I was, and I wanted him to remember us…what we were, what we always had been, what we never got a chance to be, and what we _could be._

He stared at me for a moment. "What is it Bella?" His smile mangled and I felt a tear crawl down my cheek. His warm thumb gently wiped it away. "This is a good thing…" Jacob's eyes tightened. "…isn't it?"

We looked at each other for a long moment, nothing but our breathing and the sound of heavy rain hitting the roof could be heard. Then I looked away, squeezing the rest of the tears out of my eyes. "Of course it is." I nodded and forced a smile before I looked up at him again.

A frown creased his brow and his lips parted. "Tell me what I did…" He took my small, cold hands in his large, warm ones. "…please!" His voice became desperate.

"Don't worry…you did nothing." I pulled my hands away from his and walked over to the plate of pizza still sitting on the stool.

Jacob remained in the position I left him in, his hands still where mine had been. Then his body relaxed. "It's cold and probably soggy from the rain." I could see his silhouette move in the darker part of the garage he stood in. "I'll get you some more from the house…and I'll eat that." He walked over to me and the dim light from the small bulb that hung above me unveiled him from the shadows.

"Oh my gosh, Jake." His white shirt and jeans were covered in brown and I looked down at myself. I looked even worse. "I'm sorry…" I turned around. I was so embarrassed at the way I looked, and the fact I got Jacob all messy. But he could never look bad. Seeing his amazing body covered in that stuff was so..._erotic. _The thought of him completely naked and covered in it was even more incredible and I couldn't shake the image from my mind. " I should really get home and clean up. I can eat something when…"

"No!" Jacob's deep voice boomed and his strong arms wrapped around me suddenly, embracing me from behind. "I don't care about a little mud, Bella."

I closed my eyes and tried not to allow myself to lose it like on the couch. His strong arms held me close to him, and I felt that he…_needed _me again. I rolled my head back to lay against his chest and he traced his lips down my cheek, stopping to kiss my neck. His soothing voice sang softly as his lips and sweet breath tickled my ear.

"I can't let you leave..." He took in a shaky breath. "Oh…" He exhaled against my neck. "...please don't go." He sang in a deep, pained tone. "I…want you.." His voice cracked. "…_so_." Jacob's shaky breaths puffed against me, his lips moving up my neck to my ear. I felt complete and utter bliss wrapped in his warmth.

My eyes began to sting as he continued singing to me, and memories of us sitting in this same place, singing stupid songs together, rushed into my mind. His voice sounded just the same as I remembered it, except he'd never sang anything like this to me before. It was new and amazing and wonderful and the butterflies were attacking me again, my heart beating at an almost painful speed. I swallowed but the lump in my throat didn't go anywhere.

___I love you, Jake_

The tears spilled over when I closed my eyes, and Jacob gently rocked me side to side as he sang, cradling me so lovingly. I knew if he wasn't holding me, my legs wouldn't have been able to hold up by themselves. "Get these left handed lovers out of your way..." His words came out in a low growl. I smirked, and I knew he was thinking about Edward.

_There's only you Jake, promise_

I smiled and turned around in his arms. I rested my face against his dirty shirt and I could feel the slight vibrations in his chest as he continued. "If you want me to break down..." His body trembled into mine. "...I can do that." He lowered his cheek onto my head. "But I can't..." He choked and took in a deep breath. "...I can't let you leave." I didn't think it were possible, but his arms crushed me tighter...and I felt so secure...so where I belonged.

_I don't want to leave_

His singing stopped but he continued to sway with me to the silent music that must've been playing in his head_. _

"Jacob..." I whispered.

"hmm...?"

"I really should go."

He lifted his cheek from my hair and took my hands in his. I knew my eyes were swollen from the tears, and I looked away so he couldn't see how hideous I was.

"Why do you have to leave?" He whispered huskily

"I...I.." My words wouldn't come out, probably because I couldn't find the answer to his question.

I didn't have the answer. I didn't have to leave. It was just so difficult to be around him when I loved him so much. I needed him so much, and I didn't even know what we were. Why was everything so confusing? How could we be anything when he wasn't even fully himself...the Jacob I fell in love with? Nonetheless, I loved him all the same.

"Bella...?" His warm hand took hold of my chin and forced me to look at him. I couldn't prevent the new tears from falling, and he took in a sharp breath at the sight of me. "Tell me what's wrong." He demanded, his face twisted in worry. "...did I...? Damnit, Bella tell me what I did." He let go of me and held his head, running his hands through his dark hair. "Tell me now. I can't look at you like this...tell me what to do!" He was breathing fast and hard, and his trembling hands grabbed my shoulders. "Don't leave because of me. Because I'm stupid and don't know what I did. Because I can't fix it." He kissed my wet cheek.

"Please don't say that. You're not stupid, Jake." My hands reached up to take his face, and I held him as he continued kissing my tears. "You don't need to fix anything. I just..."

"Tell me." He breathed against my face and kissed my wet skin again.

"I want you to...I wish..." It was everything I could do to not collapse at his feet and beg him to remember me. How could he not _remember_? "I want you to remember..._me._" My last word came out as a squeal, my face falling hard against his chest, and I sobbed into his shirt. Jacob's hands were on my hair immediately, stroking me. He chanted so many words in such a gentle voice, I couldn't understand them over my loud sobs.

We stayed like that for a while, until I was all cried out. I hiccuped and slowly took in deep breaths, still clinging to him, my face still pressed against his chest. I held onto him until my breathing was close to normal. His warm hand was still soothing me, running over my hair again and again. I was so exhausted from crying, I wanted to fall asleep in his arms...except that we were still standing.

I sighed and removed myself from his shirt. My eyes hurt so bad, I never wanted to open them again.

"I'm sorry." His voice was strangled and he took in a ragged breath. I forced my bloodshot eyes open, and Jacob was staring down at me with a tortured expression on his tear-streaked face. My stomach twisted painfully. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I wish I could remember..." he pursed his lips and placed a hand on my cheek "...for you." He stared longingly into my eyes.

"I'm so selfish." I shook my head. "I should be happy..."

"Bella." He interrupted. "Tell me what I..." His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. "...tell me what I mean to you?"

_Everything, Jacob Black, everything_

I stared into the piercing eyes of the man I loved...the best person I'd ever known...he was my Jacob, my very best friend.

"You're my best friend." The words flowed from my lips before I'd even decided to say them.

_No, that's not what I wanted to say..._

Jacob's dark chocolate eyes never left mine, and I had no idea what expression was on my face.

"I mean...I..." How would he take it, the fact that I was in love with him? Would he totally freak out?

"It doesn't matter that I don't remember our past. We can start new." He removed his hand from my face and turned from me. "We're friends..."

"Of course we are, Jaco..."

"Then that's all we need. Who cares if I can't remember. Maybe it's better this way." He sounded like he was trying to convince _himself _more than me. "We can make new memories, Bella. And I promise..." He turned around and there was so much pain in his eyes, it hurt to look at him. "...they will be better than the old ones."


	21. I'll Never Forget

**NTYP Chapter 21**

**DISLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns The Characters**

_**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. A family member of mine has been in the hospital, and so I've not been able to keep up. I hope to get another chapter uploaded very soon. I know how it feels to wait and wait for updates! It sucks! (like Edward) haha..-bad joke-**_

_** Love you all! **_

_**xoxo donttgettmeupsett xoxo**_

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**"It doesn't matter that I don't remember our past. We can start new." He removed his hand from my face and turned from me. "We're friends..."**

**"Of course we are, Jaco..."**

**"Then that's all we need. Who cares if I can't remember. Maybe it's better this way." He sounded like he was trying to convince _himself _more than me. "We can make new memories, Bella. And I promise..." He turned around and there was so much pain in his eyes, it hurt to look at him. "...they will be better than the old ones."**

* * *

I didn't know what to say...or how to feel... or what to do. He was in so much pain, so much confusion, and yet _he_ was the one telling me it was going to be okay. He was the one making promises to me, and I had no comforting words for _him._ I just wanted to love him. I wanted to love him emotionally, verbally, physically, and any other way it was possible to show somebody love. But I was scared. I was so afraid he would pull away from me if he knew how serious my feelings were.

He was still looking at me, searching my eyes for something I supposed...but I didn't know what. I was still unsure of the expression that was on my face, but I couldn't look away from his dark, wet eyes. They were so beautiful, but only a mere reflection of his beautiful soul.

His words were so sweet, and so possible. We had some terrible memories in our past, and I was so looking forward to making new ones. But the thought of having to forget what we once had, all of those years together...could I do it? Forget it all? Was it as easy as it had been for Jacob? I didn't want to block out the old memories. I'd take the good with the bad. How strange it was going to be...that I'd be the only one of the two of us who knew all we'd been through together, and he'd never ever know?

I couldn't look at his face anymore, it hurt too badly. I looked away and shut my eyes.

"Let's go inside and get you something to eat. " His soothing voice filled my ears, then I felt a warm hand on my arm.

"I still think I should get home." I whispered.

He took in a deep breath. "Alright..."

It was apparent in his shaky voice that he was having difficulty speaking so gently when he was still fighting his emotions. I knew he was trying to hold it together for me, so I wouldn't cry again.

"I guess I should call my dad." I looked up to see his face. "I need a ride."

The tears had stopped, but his eyes were still red and glistening. He was staring at me with a questioning look and I realized he probably didn't know what I was talking about. He had been injured pretty badly and I doubted he even saw what had gone down between Sam and Edward.

"When you were hurt, Sam attacked Edward and... my truck got in the way."

"What?" His eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"It's just one of those things that comes with having..._special _people...in my life."

He stared at me for a minute then shook his head.

"It couldn't be that bad." He let go of me and walked over to the pizza. "I'll look at it and see what I can do." He took a huge bite and I grimaced at the thought of it being all cold and wet. He smiled at the look on my face. "MMMmm." He took another bite.

I rolled my eyes. "You'll eat anything, I swear."

After practically inhaling the last slice, he swallowed loudly and wiped his hands on his pants. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm sure you're starving." He revealed his perfect teeth.

"Yeah, I'm gettin' there."

It felt good to see him smile, even though the distress from earlier was still shadowing his beautiful face. He gave his VW Rabbit another look-over before he took my hand and opened the garage doors. The rain was still pouring and I really didn't want to be in it, but I was hungry enough to deal with it.

"Okay..." Jacob squeezed my hand. "Now!" He leaped out of the garage, pulling me forward. I almost fell face first again like before.

My legs could not keep up with him, and I was nearly being dragged. We were almost to the front door when lightning struck and the ear-shattering noise made me scream.

"It's okay." His legs slowed down for me. "It was just a tree...it hit a tree." Jacob grabbed the metal knob and we entered the dry, cozy little house. I breathed hard, looking down at the water dripping onto the floor.

"Bella, you should see yourself." Jacob laughed. I was panting, and he wasn't even breathing heavily. It was so irritating. "You're a mess."

"Yeah, well you're not so hott yourself, wolf man." It was a complete lie.

His laughing faded and all trace of amusement left him.

"Well." He cleared his throat. "I...I'll go see if Billy has anything you can wear." He walked away from me, leaving a trail of muddy footprints on the floor.

_Doesn't he own any shoes?_

I tracked my own wet shoeprints into the kitchen and grabbed a slice of pizza out of the box on the table. I'd never eaten so fast before_, _and I was thankful Jacob wasn't there to watch me eat like a pig.

"Hungry much?_" _

_Shit..._

I swallowed before chewing completely and turned around. "Yeah..." I said nervously. He just grinned and set a stack of clothes on the table in front of me.

"Uh, Billy said they're my sister's. Hope they fit you."

"Thanks, Jake."

"You can change in my room if you want. I'll stay...you know...out here." His voice was quiet.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah...o...ok." I snatched up the small pile of clothes and hastily walked past Jacob and down the hall.

I entered his room and shut the door fast, leaning my forehead against it. Why was I still so nervous around him? I'd known him almost my whole life, and suddenly I couldn't breathe when I was in his presence. I sighed and turned around. The room was still a disaster, but it didn't bother me. If destroying his furniture was the worst he did after all he'd been through, then he was doing pretty good.

My body shivered as I removed each article of my drenched clothing from myself. Wet jeans were the hardest to remove, and I complained out loud when they stuck to my skin, forcing me to peel them off.

"Gross..." I grumbled, throwing the last piece of soaked clothing onto the floor. My panties.

I walked over to the bed where I'd tossed the dry clothes Jacob had given me, and I held up the grey t-shirt to see what size it was. It looked like it would fit me, and I couldn't help but smile at the design on the front. It was a black and white forest with tall trees and a full moon shining above them, half hidden by clouds. A lone wolf was peeking out from behind the trees, staring back at me. It was beautiful, and I wondered if Jacob would let me keep it.

After slipping the shirt and black sweat pants on, I fell onto the bed, wondering what I was even doing there. I closed my eyes and my mind started to race.

_Jacob's fine. He doesn't need me. Well, not in the nursing kind of way. You screwed up, Bella. Why'd you have to go and spaz on him like that? Freak him out with all the crying, great idea. You've really messed him up emotionally now. Why'd you let him kiss you? Oh god, his body, under my hands, between my...oh god, he wanted me, he was going to...we could have... and again in the garage...I _felt _it..._

I turned over onto my stomach and moaned into the bed, wishing I could make my feelings for him go away.

_He's just a horny teenager, Bella. That's all. He doesn't love you. He doesn't love you like that. He doesn't love me._

I didn't want to move, I just wanted to lay there and think about Jacob on top of me. The pain equaled the pleasure as I replayed the memory over and over in my head. Jacob's lips on mine, his body so close, my tongue tasting his skin...Jacob humping me desperately and panting against my face. I almost exploded right there, but the knocking on the door wouldn't go away, and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I groaned and crawled off the bed, wishing whoever it was would just let me daydream a little longer.

"Bella?"

I sighed when I heard Jacob's voice, and I couldn't complain that he was the one who was interrupting my amazing memory. I cracked the door open and peeked out.

"I'm naked." I whispered. Jacob's jaw dropped and I couldn't help but laugh. "Nah, I'm not. Come in." I opened the door, and he was still standing there with the shocked look on his face. "I said you can come in." I giggled and went back to the bed, sprawling out on my stomach.

Jacob finally blinked, then sighed heavily as he stepped into the room. I watched him as his eyes trailed over me from top to bottom.

"What?" I laughed nervously, and sat up, crossing my arms in an attempt to hide myself under his scrutiny.

"Nice." He breathed, and then his eyes moved to the pile of wet clothes on the floor. "Want me to wash those for you?"

"No, I can do that." I hurriedly removed myself from his bed and crouched down, bundling the heavy, mud covered clothes. I folded my bra and panties in the middle so he wouldn't see.

* * *

After I threw the load of laundry in the wash, I headed back down the hall to Jacob's room.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Billy calling from the den.

I didn't know what Billy could possibly want to talk about...but then it hit me. _Crap._

I hesitated, then slowly walked into the little den, coming to stand in front of Billy, and I waited for the humiliating conversation to begin.

_Please please pleeeease don't tell me you know what happened on the very couch you're sitting on..._

There was no way I could look Jacob's dad in the eyes when he knew what I wanted to do to his son.

"I spoke to your dad on the phone." It was hard to tell what he was going to say next. His deep voice always sounded the same, and it made me even more nervous. "He thinks the weather is too dangerous to be out in, so he'd like you to stay here tonight."

_Stay? With..with Jacob? In this house? Oh god, maybe that wasn't such a good idea_

"No, I...I really need to get back home." I stuttered and walked quickly to the window and looked out. " Isn't there some way..."

"He insisted, Bella. You can go home early if you have to." Billy was right. But, oh god, I couldn't trust myself around Jacob for too long. "The storm should be gone by then."

How was I going to handle an entire night?


	22. A Storm Of Times

**NTYP Chapter 22**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Everything Twilight**

**A/N: Cutting yourself is not cool, so please don't think that I'm condoning it in any way! Don't be inspired to follow Jacob or Bella's actions in this or any other fanfic! ;)**

**xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**

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_**Stay? With..with Jacob? In this house? Oh god, maybe that wasn't such a good idea**_

**"No, I...I really need to get back home." I stuttered and walked quickly to the window and looked out. " Isn't there some way..."**

**"He insisted, Bella. You can go home early if you have to." Billy was right. But, oh god, I couldn't trust myself around Jacob for too long. "The storm should be gone by then."**

**How was I going to handle an entire night?**

**

* * *

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I walked back into Jacob's room as he was stuffing huge armfulls of his broken dresser into large trash bags.

"You really think those plastic bags are going to hold all that?" I teased him.

He looked up at me and smiled. "What makes you think I don't know what I'm doing, huh? Ow, shit!"

"What?" I ran to him and put my hands on him, feeling everywhere. "What's wrong?" I frantically searched his body for the source of his distress.

"Careful, Bella. The mirror." He lifted his foot off the floor and a drop of blood fell. I gasped when I saw the nasty gash. "Stand over there and let me clean this up." He grumbled.

I ran out of the room in search for something to clean up the blood. The bathroom cabinets were mostly empty, except for some cleaner and luckily some stacked rags. I grabbed one of the rags and darted back to Jacob's room.

"I got this for you." I threw him the cloth and he complained, making a face as he wiped at the blood on the bottom of his foot.

"Can you see if Billy has a bandage or something?" He asked me.

"Um, you probably won't need one…"

"What?" He squatted to clean up the remaining blood on the floor. "Did you see the bloody mess I made?" I noticed he'd gotten up the rest of the broken mirror, so I walked over to him and knelt down.

"Trust me Jake, you don't need a bandage." He stopped wiping at the red on the floor, and looked at me. I reached for his foot and he shifted and sat back, allowing me to take it. My stomach turned, but I traced my thumb over the place where the gash had been, smearing the blood. "Doesn't hurt anymore, does it?" A light tan line had taken the cut's place.

"What the…" He yanked his foot away from me and stared at it, his mouth hung open in disbelief. "Wha…I…how...huh…? The blood." He looked at the floor and the soaked cloth. He was starting to breathe funny.

"Sshh." I got onto my knees and took his face in my hands. "You heal really fast. It's completely normal." I fought the urge to kiss him and make him feel better.

"Bella." His breathing was hard and his eyes were innocent...lost again. He stared at me, and I knew he needed answers. I couldn't imagine how many questions were flooding his mind.

I lowered my forehead to his chest. "I'll try to explain everything to you. But, nothing will make any sense." I stood up and looked down at him. My poor Jacob was so so confused.

_How the hell am I going to explain everything? Where the hell is Sam? Gah…_

"Come on." I held my hand out to help him up off the floor, but he didn't take it. He took the bloody rag and slowly stood up on his own, then he was looking down at me.

"I heard Billy say you're staying tonight." The corner of his lip curled.

* * *

It was only around 4:30pm, but I was sleepy. Maybe it was because of the terrible weather. There was something about the rain that always made me drowsy. I was laying on my stomach facing the foot of Jacob's bed, watching him clean his room when my eyelids began to feel heavy. I had offered to help, but he wouldn't let me.

He tied the large, black trash bags and set them beside his door, then he walked out of the room.

"Hey." I whined, but before I had a chance to get seriously upset that he'd left me, Jacob came back and he had a towel in his hands.

"Do you want to take a shower? You're still covered in that stuff." He pointed at me, and I was too tired to care or even look to see.

"You too...and It's s...storming. Won't I get electrocuted if I sh..shhhower rriiight nnow?" I slurred and shut my eyes.

Jacob laughed and I felt his hand shove me gently. "Wake up sleepy head. You're getting that stuff all over my bed."

I let out a weak, sorta-laugh. "You can rhyme, wow."

"That was an accident, Bella."

"Sure... sure." I could feel the heaviness in my chest and my heart slowed. I couldn't stay awake anymore.

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**Jacob's POV**

She was so beautiful and peaceful, and holy shit, she was on my bed. The most gorgeous girl in the entire world was asleep on my bed.  
I watched her chest rise and fall and her hair gently settled against her neck. My heart ached at the sound of each breath she took between her pink, pouty lips.

Her fair skin was covered in disgusting dirt...except for the clean clothes I had given her to wear. It made me angry, and I didn't want anything filthy on her perfect body. I took the towel I was still holding, and went to the bathroom.

I ran the hot water over it until the towel was mostly soaked. I glanced up, seeing my reflection in the mirror and I did a double-take. She wasn't kidding. I was covered in that shit, too. Then I remembered that I'd never gotten a chance to change my clothes. I rung the towel out and quickly returned to Bella's side.

I took her tiny arm in my hand and the dried mud crumbled around my fingers, falling onto the bed. I pulled her short sleeve up as far as it would go, then placed the hot towel against her frozen skin. She made a noise and I hesitated for a moment, then starting from the sleeve, I slowly wiped down her arm. She squirmed and moaned quietly. God she was amazing when she did that. She was amazing when she did anything.

When I was finished cleaning every inch of the dirt from her body that I could see, I reached my hand out and touched her cheek with my fingertips. Her skin was still cold…she was freezing, and she shivered. I wasn't going to let her sleep uncomfortable. I found a thick comforter on the top shelf of my closet, and I tucked it tightly around her.

Well, maybe Bella was afraid of being electrocuted, but I wasn't. What were the chances of that happening anyway? I was a mess and needed a shower...bad. Walking out into the hall, I could see the tv was on in the den. That irritating, static sound was too annoying to ignore.

The den was dark and the glow of the tv was the only thing lighting the space when I entered. The sky was black outside, and the sound of rain was pounding against the windows. Billy was snoring loudly on the couch. I looked at the tv to see nothing but snow thanks to the storm. I mashed every button I could feel until the tv blinked off and the white noise stopped.

_Should I leave him here or help him to his bed? Eh, he's good..._

I continued into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I shut the toilet lid and sat down, sighing loud into my hands. I lifted my foot to look at it, and there was still no cut...nothing but a scar. I laughed, but I didn't know why. Nothing was funny. Everything was unbelievable...and I still wasn't sure if I could believe it.

Laughing again, I stood up and pulled my shirt over my head, then removed my jeans. I couldn't help but notice my body felt perfect. Nothing hurt, even after that Sam guy had nearly pulled my arm out, too. He did tell me I'd feel fine in about an hour, but it had been longer than that. I didn't even remember when it had finally stopped hurting.

_What am I? Some kind of mighty morphin super mutant wolf, who can't die and has magical healing powers? Can I fucking touch someone else and heal them, too?_

Maybe I was crazy, but I had to see...I had to witness it in action. I opened the small drawer under the sink, searching for a tool that could help me. I found it. A shaving razor, and luckily, it was a new one. I placed it on the counter and balled my hand into a fist.

Drawing in a deep breath and holding it in, I raised my hand and slammed my fist onto the little plastic razor, crushing it to pieces. Plastic particles scattered everywhere, ricocheting off of every surface in the bathroom.

I lifted my hand from the counter, and exhaled as I eyed the little shiny pieces of metal. Cautiously, I took one of the rectangular blades and held it up. I glanced in the mirror, and I was sweating. I felt so damn hot, and I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand.

My face wasn't the right place to do it, or my throat, or my chest. I looked down at my right wrist. I didn't even need to think twice about what I was doing. I pressed the sharp corner of the razor into the blue vein pulsing underneath my skin, but I ceased the applied pressure before it broke the surface. This was going to be fucking messy.

I stepped into the tub and sat down, leaning my head back against the tiles. I closed my eyes and took in a couple deep breaths before repeating the same actions. I opened my eyes and pressed the sharp corner of the razor into my flesh. I thought it was so weird when I could hear every little tear of my skin breaking.

Watching the blood pooling around the silver blade, I cringed and shoved it in deeper. I moaned out loud at the pain as I moved the blade slowly in a vertical path down my wrist. The blood was trickling down my arm, dripping onto my body and running down the drain.

_Fuck this was a bad idea. What if I don't heal and I bleed to death and...and Bella's the one who finds me?_

"Oh shit." I pulled the blade out of my skin and even more blood flowed from the gaping wound. The cut was deep. Deep enough to kill me, I knew it. I was sure I had slashed an artery as much blood as there was. I hung my unharmed arm out of the tub and my fingers released the blade, letting it fall to the floor.

I gripped my arm below the incision and squeezed so hard, my skin turned white around my fingers. It bled more, but somehow, the pressure I applied around the wound made the pain easier to deal with. "You're a fucking _idiot_! Shit. _Shit_!" I beat the back of my head against the tiles a few times, then stilled completely, allowing myself to go limp. I waited to bleed to death, to die.

But then I felt something. It was strange, like a moving sensation. Like something was crawling on me...tickling me. I was still holding my arm when I looked down at the bloody slit, and I refused to believe what I was seeing.

The blood was moving, or the skin beneath it was. I looked closer, squinting my eyes in case they were just playing tricks on me. "Holy_..." _The wound was closing in on itself from the corners. I saw it...with my own eyes. It sealed itself completely, until there was nothing but the blood congealing above the thin line that had formed. "..._Fuck._"

* * *

After I showered and discarded all traces of what looked like a suicide-attempt, I wrapped a towel around my waste and exited the bathroom. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd just witnessed. But I wanted to get back to Bella...I needed to see her again.

I opened my bedroom door fast, and she was still where I'd left her. Sound asleep. I crept into the room, trying not to make a sound or disturb her. I looked through my closet for something to wear.

"Wife beaters. Is that all I own?" I whispered when Bella made a noise and I whipped around fast, holding the towel in place with both my hands. Her eyes were still closed and she mumbled something again, scrunching her face before it fell back into the image of complete peace. I sighed and went back to searching through the row of clothes.

"Ah, thank you." I breathed when I found a thin, button down, cotton shirt. It was white with skinny, light blue and green stripes running vertically down it's length. I didn't want Bella to see me wearing the same thing all the time, and this shirt was nice enough I hoped it impressed her a little.

I slipped my arms into the short sleeves, and it hung comfortably on me. I didn't bother buttoning it... I was still so damn _hot. _Was the AC broken or something? I searched through the pile of clothes on the floor that had recently been in my drawers, looking for some boxers or shorts. I supposed they were in the laundry, or maybe I just didn't own any? I ended up just settling for one of the many pairs of jeans that were hanging in the closet.

My hair was still wet, so I shook my head...much like a canine...attempting to dry myself. When it didn't help as much as I'd hoped, I tried drying it with the towel roughly, but it only soaked up a fraction of the water. I gave up and threw the towel at the closed bedroom door. I looked over at the sleeping beauty on my bed, and my heart skipped a long beat.

She was bundled up in that comforter so tight, and I was burning up from the broken AC or whatever. I wanted to see if she was burning up, too. I walked over to the bed and leaned over, gently trailing a couple fingers over her forehead, down her cheek and ending at her neck. I repeated the motion and frowned. She was _freezing. _At least she was freezing compared to _me_. How was that possible?

_Maybe I could ..._

The blanket was obviously not working. Maybe she was sick? All I knew was that she was cold and I was hot, so...

I rubbed my face with my hands and felt the nerves set in. My breaths caught in my chest as I took the comforter and pulled it off of her, scared as hell I'd startle her. I was so nervous that she'd wake up and freak out, thinking I was trying to _get some_...but I just wanted her to be warm.

I wasn't sure if it would help, but it was the best I could do. Without hesitation, I grabbed my pillow and climbed over her and eased myself between her and the wall. I hit the back of my head on the window sill in the process, but I wasn't going to whine about it in fear she'd wake up. It hurt like hell, though. I sunk down into my pillow.

She was facing away from me, and I found myself staring at her beautiful, chocolate hair that didn't need light hitting it to shine. I had to feel it, and so I did. It was the softest, silkiest feeling between my fingers. I could hear my heart thudding in my chest, and I could feel my pulse racing.

Her body was so beautiful, feminine, and so small. My hands moved to the dip of her waste and over her amazing hip. I swallowed hard and tried with extreme difficulty to not picture her without clothes on. I didn't want to wake her now that she was probably dreaming sweet dreams, so as carefully as I could, I slowly curled an arm around her.

I squeezed my eyes shut, so afraid I'd wake her and freak her out. I held my breath and pulled her to me slowly, moving myself forward to meet her as well. My heart was beating out of my chest and then I felt myself... twitch_._

_Shit_

The feeling of her body pressed into mine was complete paradise...and complete torture. I dropped my face to the top of her head and my eyes rolled back at her intoxicating scent. I moaned into her hair and held her closer to me. My body was screaming to be one with her, but I knew it was wrong. Her body squirmed and she made a noise that caused a certain part of me to snap completely to attention.

_Oh God, No_

I groaned and pressed myself into her, and she made that noise again...making my problem worse.

_No, just keep her warm, you fucktard_

"I'm keeping you warm, keeping you warm..." I continually repeated for I don't know how long. Rubbing my hands over her cold arms and smothering her with my body was not good for me. I wanted to cry I needed her so bad.

She was asleep, and I wasn't going to rape her for God's sake. I had to think about something else, anything else. Anything but her beauty and how much I loved her..._needed_ her.

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**A/N: The nights not over yet )**

**xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**


	23. Beating Hearts

**NTYP Chapter 23**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns All Things Twilight**

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**I groaned and pressed myself into her, and she made that noise again...making my problem worse.**

_**No, just keep her warm, you fucktard**_

**"I'm keeping you warm, keeping you warm..." I continually repeated for I don't know how long. Rubbing my hands over her cold arms and smothering her with my body was not good for me. I wanted to cry I needed her so bad.**

**She was asleep, and I wasn't going to rape her for God's sake. I had to think about something else, anything else. Anything but her beauty and how much I loved her..._needed _her.**

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**Jacob's POV**

It was impossible. I couldn't stop picturing her bare naked body sprawled out before me on my tiny bed, her brown eyes begging me to ravage her. No, I shook my head, trying desperately to will the torturous thoughts away.

They didn't go away. My arm tightened around her and I inhaled her delicious scent through my nostrils again.

_Strawberries_

Groaning, I clutched her harder, melding our bodies impossibly closer together. My torso to her back. I tried to control my breathing, but every flash that ran through my mind of her flawless, nude body was making me insane...making me hunger more for her.

I leaned in, touching my lips to her small shoulder. I whimpered against her, and the growing pressure in my pants was becoming absolutely painful. The heat radiating through me was unbearable, and my body was sweating buckets as it worked hard to cool my temperature.

Without even a thought to what I was doing, my hand reached down and with a violent yank, my unbearably tight jeans were open.

My _problem_ had grown so large, the jeans had already unzipped without any help from me. I was dizzy with desire as I began placing kisses up her shoulder to her neck. Bella moaned and stretched her arms out in front of her.

_Shit, what the hell am I doing?_

I was panting hard when I removed my lips from her, and I leaned away from Bella's beautiful, stretching body. She arched, and my breath caught in my throat. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, trying to remain in control of myself...if I was in control at all.

Then she said something that sounded like my name. My eyes shot open when I realized where my hand was: down my pants.

_Oh shit..._

I quickly removed my hand, then pulled the comforter up over the both of us, hoping she'd go back to sleep. She mumbled again, then pushed herself up suddenly...propping her body up on one elbow.

"Jake?" She called out. "Jacob...?" Bella gripped the comforter and pulled her legs out from under it.

My heart was in my throat, and I felt like I was choking. I wanted to fucking disappear. I almost thought being found dead in the bathtub would have been better than this. I cursed myself.

Despite my efforts to get as far away from her as possible, crushing myself against the wall, we were still merely inches apart.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I prepared myself for the wrath that was sure to come when she found out I was in bed with her. There was nowhere to go...I was trapped, doomed, she'd never trust me now.

"I'm..._here_." My pathetic voice cracked, and I winced at the fact I'd let myself be known. I couldn't open my eyes. For the first time, I didn't want to see her face.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I groaned when I awoke from the fabulous dream I was having:

_Jacob and I were in bed together, he was spooning me and I felt safe...warm. It was how it always should have been. I smiled when he whispered he loved me in my ear, and I __shuddered at the feeling of his hot breath against my skin. I turned around in his arms and his dark eyes looked straight into my soul, promising his devotion to me forever and ever. Then, I don't even know how it led up to it, we were kissing, and he was growling in a most animalistic way. We were in the process of taking each others clothes off when I just had to wake up. _

_Figures..._

My eyelids slowly opened, taking in the dim-lit room. I wondered how long I'd been sleeping. The smell of rain and the forest filled my senses and I breathed in deeply, letting it out in a loud yawn.

Then, my eyes shot open wide when I recognized where I was. Oh no, how late was it? I lifted my body from my recent sleeping position on my side. The room was empty, no Jacob to be found.

The small lamp on the end table near the bed was all that lit the room, and It was considerably dark outside. It could've been midnight for all I knew. I pulled my legs out from under the comforter that was making me almost sweat. Damn, it was freaking _hot_.

"Jake?" I called out.

_Is he somewhere with Billy? Maybe he's asleep in another room? Or possibly the couch? Are there even more than two rooms in this ridiculously small house?_

"Jacob...?" I yelled a little louder.

I waited a few seconds for an answer, but when I didn't get one, I shifted myself, preparing to jump off the bed and go look for him.

"I'm..._here._"

If he hadn't spoken so quietly, I think I might've had a heart attack. But, I was only startled for a moment, and my hand shot to my pounding heart.

"Oh my gosh, Jacob." I turned around, huffing and unable to remove my hand from my chest. I let out a nervous laugh that proved I was barely amused. "You scared me."

He didn't say anything else. He was leaning back against the wall, his eyes tightly shut, his body half covered with the comforter. Beads of sweat were dripping down his face, and I frowned.

"What...what's wrong with you?" I asked concernedly, but he just shook his head and parted his lips. His face was the description of severe pain. "Jacob." I said loud and firmly.

His eyelids loosened, but just barely. He let out a breath he had obviously been holding, and I couldn't hide the worry that was plastered on my face. Something was wrong with my Jacob, and whatever it was, it was bad.

His eyes slowly opened completely, but his expression didn't change. It was still twisted in pain, and his mouth was still open and his breathing irregular. He didn't say a word to me, but let out a terrible moan and dropped his head to the pillow beneath him.

I watched completely horrified at how ill he looked. I put my hands on his body, and one slid down his bare chest. Why was he so sweaty? I mean, I knew he was hot by nature, but this was a huge amount of perspiration. He was under some sort of severe stress.

My hand was soaked, so I wiped it on his open shirt that hung loosely on him. He was shaking and brought his arms up to his chest, whining low and quietly... his eyes still squeezed tightly shut. Though his body trembled, it wasn't the violent kind that signalled he was going to phase.

I was still terrified for him, because it was just odd. He seemed alright earlier, even after he'd cut himself. For a second I thought maybe I should go fetch Billy. I slid a hand through Jacob's ruffled hair, massaging his scalp with my fingertips. I buried my face into his neck and dare kissed him there. He continued to moan.

"Please tell me what's wrong." My voice was flooded with emotion. I was close to tears at the mere sight of him like that.

"I...I..." He spoke between puffs of air. "Shit, Bella."

"Huh?"

"Can you leave the room for a minute?"

"What?

Now I was confused. And hurt. What the hell? I knew I was completely worthless, useless. I didn't know what was wrong with him, and I guessed I never would. Because he definitely didn't need me...or want me there.

"Please." He looked up at me with pleading in his black eyes.

"Jacob, whatever's wrong, I can help y..." I took the comforter in my hands and attempted to pull it off of him. He needed to cool down.

"No!" He sat up fast, almost causing me to fall off the bed. I just stared at him, unable to grasp what the hell was going on.

"I just...just give me a minute. Please." His deep voice was less harsh this time, and my face hung in disappointment.

"What's going on, Jacob?" I pressed. "You don't know how badly I want to help you." I tried to make him understand with the sincere tone I used.

He sighed and fell back onto the pillow face first, groaning loudly and gripping it with his hands. He spoke something, but it was muffled by the pillow squished against his face. His body trembled, and I didn't know if he was crying or if he was angry.

I was suddenly overcome with immense sympathy for him, and I gently stroked his back with my hand. Wow, the shirt he was wearing was seriously soft and I liked it...but it was damp with his sweet excretion.

I continued to run my fingertips down, pressing firmly into his stiff muscles. I hoped it would help him relax...to release all of the tension I could feel in his rigid body.

My other hand joined in. Finally, he stopped groaning and was breathing slowly, rhythmically. I continued stroking him, massaging his back over his shoulders and down to just above his hips. He was breathing loud and deep, and I wondered if I'd made him fall asleep.

"Jake?" I spoke quietly.

"Hhhmmmmm." He moaned into the pillow.

I smiled and moved my hands up to the back of his neck. I simultaneously stroked the shaggy hair there and massaged his shoulders. I placed my lips to the back of his head and moved my hands down, tightening my fingers around his huge triceps.

He turned his head and sunk his cheek into the pillow. "You're...not mad?"

"What?" I pulled myself up.

He turned over onto his back and his eyes scanned over my face. "You're not mad at me?"

"What are you even talking about?" I was so confused. Wasn't he just having some mental breakdown...or _some _kind of problem. Now why was he talking about me?

"I thought..."

"You thought...?" I was just getting irritated and impatient now. How hard was it to just tell someone what the hell's wrong?

"Are you sick?" He asked.

"No, I'm not sick!" I leaned toward him. " Are you? You look terrible, Jake." I used the wrong words, he never looked terrible.

His eyes left mine and he stared at the ceiling. He laughed quietly without a grin touching his lips and closed his eyes. "...nevermind."

I guessed that meant he wasn't sick.

"So...are you feeling better?"

"You have no idea." His eyes darted back to mine, and his face was smoother compared to what It had been a moment ago. I never wanted to see him in so much pain ...or whatever he had gone through..._ever_ again.

"Can you tell me what happened while I was asleep?"

His eyes widened at that, and he sat up. "Why?" He asked almost panic-like.

"Something had to have happened to make you go...well..."

"Nothing happened." He shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "I promise."

"Why do I feel like you're keeping something from me?" I questioned him, trying not to sound as upset as I was.

"OhhH" He lamented into his hands, and shook his head. Then his fingers slid down his face, revealing the distress that was so apparent in his features. He just shook his head again without saying a word.

"Jacob." I took his hands in mine, squeezing them to let him know I was there for him. "I'm not going anywhere, so you better just tell me what's going on."

He looked at me, totally defeated. His eyes moved between both of mine several times before he spoke.

"Bella, I think I..." He looked at our hands clasped together.

"Uh huh..." I nodded my head to let him know he could continue any time now...

Jacob lifted his face again, but his expression was different. Stronger. Much like the face he'd introduced to me that day in the rain...when he told me he was not good...that he was _dangerous_.

"Tell me..." He paused. This was the face of the Jacob that could take anything that was thrown at him. "... about me."

"Okay Jake...um."

I didn't think I was the one who had all the information he needed, but Sam was obviously not going to come back until the horrible storm passed. This was going to be impossible.

He continued to massage my hands while I searched nervously through my brain. This was too important to mess up. I couldn't tell him the wrong things. I wasn't sure of his fragility or if he was ready for it. I ran the Quileute lore I'd learned from the campfires with Jacob and the pack through my memory, but I couldn't recall everything.

"I told you that you're Quileute, right?"

He shook his head and looked very interested in what I was revealing to him. Releasing my hands, he laid back down, his head falling onto the pillow hard, it's fluffiness puffing up around his beautiful, russet face. He rested an arm above his head, and I brought my hand to my mouth with a gasp.

"Jacob, your arm!" I'd never seen that scar before, and It looked brand new. It was horrific, and at least three inches long...clearly visible against his rich skin.

His head whipped quickly to view what I was grimacing at, and he immediately drew it to his chest, hiding it from me.

"Don't worry about it." He shot the words at me fast and almost angrily. It only took him a moment to realize how he sounded, and all the hostility left his voice. "Continue please...?"

I still had my hand pressed against my gaping mouth, but the look on his face told me he really didn't want to get into what caused the scar. Wracking my brain again, It took me a moment, but I started back where I'd left off.

"Alright um...you, you're Native American, and you're part of the Quileute tribe. Ummm."

"Okay." He settled back into the bed, relaxing his scarred arm behind his head again. "You confused me about my age before. What was that about?"

"Well, technically, you're seventeen. But, you..." I didn't want to tell him any of this crap, nothing else. Not more fairytales about himself... but I had no choice. His life was full of that fairytale stuff, and he wanted, needed to know. "You stopped aging at sixteen."

"I don't look sixteen, Bella."

"No." I shook my head. "You don't, but..that's just something that has to do with you being...you know, a _shapeshifter_."

His eyes had gradually gotten wider, and then he shut them abruptly.

"You're telling me, I'm going to live forever?" He asked in a high pitched voice that almost squeaked.

"Well, it's possible."

His face went blank, and he stared at the ceiling without even a crease to his expressionless mask.

"Jacob, I know this is hard to take in." I lowered myself down next to him, pressing my face into the side of the pillow that was puffed up from his weight.

Looking up into his face that was still void of any feeling, I sighed and placed a hand on his bare chest. It was dry this time. "Is there anything else you want to know?"

"I'm a wolf, right?" I watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "How long have I been..?"

"You were sixteen the first time you phased...turned into..." My voice went quiet. "I wish I could have been there for you when it happened. You told me you were so scared."

His hand moved to where mine was resting over his heart, and he clutched it with amazing strength.

"You were here this time." He whispered as he turned his body toward mine, facing me on the pillow.

"I was, wasn't I?" I smiled and managed to blink away the careless tears that were prickling behind my eyes.

He took in a sharp breath and crushed my hand to his hot chest. I blinked, but his black eyes never left mine, and I could almost see the flame burning in their core. He held my hand to his heart as we stared intently into each other's eyes.

This beautiful, perfect creature was everything to me. My whole life, all that I desired, prayed, wished on shooting stars for now..._everything. _I would die if it meant he kept breathing his perfect breaths. I'd beg my heart to be ripped out from beneath my ribs if it allowed his to continue beating.

His lips were so close to mine. He didn't even have a clue... didn't know that I wanted to kiss his plump lips, and taste him again. My heart ached, yearned for it. My lips craved the feeling...even if it was just one more time.

"Thank you for being here...with me." His deep voice hummed.

I couldn't respond, the butterflies were filling my entire body again. I felt light-headed and stupid, afraid that if I did open my mouth, I'd say something that wouldn't make any sense.

It was almost too much. We were so close, and my body strongly desired to be closer. To be all his, to surrender everything. I could taste every searing breath he let out against my face, and I welcomed it, inhaling deeply. I wanted to melt into him.

He closed his eyes and crushed our entwined hands to his chest firmer, and I closed my eyes as well. I spent the next few minutes memorizing the sounds of his breathing and the feeling of his heart beating. But It beat so fast I couldn't even begin to count them.

"Bella..." He said shakily.

"Yes?" I breathed...my eyes still closed...still feeling his heart and the warmth he exuded.

"I'm going to tell you something...but, don't..." His voice cracked and he pulled back to look at me "...you don't have to feel the same way."

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**A/N: I hope you don't mind the pace of this story...because it is necessary in order for Jacob and Bella to re-learn each other =)**

**Thanks so much to all the reviewers. If I haven't responded to you, just know I have definitely read your review and am interested in everything you have to say. And to those of you who don't review, I love you too! =D**

**Happy reading everyone-**

**xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**


	24. Innocence and Ecstasy

**NTYP Chapter 24**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

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**He closed his eyes and crushed our entwined hands to his chest firmer, and I closed my eyes as well. I spent the next few minutes memorizing the sounds of his breathing and the feeling of his heart beating. But It beat so fast I couldn't even begin to count them.**

**"Bella..." He said shakily.**

**"Yes?" I breathed...my eyes still closed...still feeling his heart and the warmth he exuded.**

**"I'm going to tell you something...but, don't..." His voice cracked and he pulled back to look at me "...you don't have to feel the same way."**

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**Bella's POV**

He was looking down at me with a determination in his dark irises that I'd never seen before...but there was also fear. I didn't want him to be scared, he could tell me anything, didn't he know that?

"What is it, Jake?" I reached up and stroked his cheek with my hand. He closed his eyes and sunk his head back into the pillow, taking in a shaky breath.

"Bella...I..." He trailed his fingers up my arm ending at my hand still against his hot face. "I think...I..." He stumbled.

Before another word could escape him, I moved in, catching his trembling lips between mine. He moaned as I slowly enwrapped him deliciously, pulling his lips deep into my mouth.

_Kiss me back, Jacob_

He was motionless beside me as my hands tangled in his messy hair and I kneaded his plump lips, consuming and tasting their sweetness. I swung a leg over him, feeling the subtle vibrations coursing through his body.

_Please kiss me, Jake_

I let go of his mouth and leaned back to look at him.

"Bella..." He breathed and opened his eyes. They were dark and glazed over.

"Oh my gosh, Jacob. I don't know wha..." I gasped at the feeling of his burning mouth suddenly on mine. His hand gripped the back of my neck and held me to him, our cheeks still planted against his pillow.

His lips were so soft despite the force behind them, and I couldn't help but compare them to my ex's stone-cold ones that had caused damage to my mouth many times over. But, Jacob had the amazing ability to consume my innermost psyche, and Edward left my mind quicker than he'd entered it.

All I could feel was Jacob's voluptuous mouth swallowing me...until his amazing arms crushed me tighter against him, and I felt the bulge pressing into my aching center. He groaned into my mouth, but never let my lips go as he bucked his hips...grabbing my thighs and grinding his hardness into me.

Then he pulled away...ripping his lips from mine, gasping for air. What did he think he was doing? I wanted his mouth on me. I wanted more of him. Everything. My vision blurred...my eyes were heavy with desire.

I grabbed his face...pulling him to me again, and I flicked my tongue between his parted lips... tasting sweet honey. He groaned and I whimpered at the sensation of his teeth nipping my bottom lip. I moved my mouth to his throat and began trailing my teeth down his searing skin and biting roughly, not caring if I left a mark.

"Ahhh..." He moaned and panted as my teeth clamped down on his searing flesh.

I pushed him down onto his back and he watched me as I left a wet trail on his hard, heaving chest with my tongue. His head rolled against the pillow and he closed his eyes as I tasted his sweet, maple skin. When I enclosed his nipple in my mouth, he let out a deep, throaty sound, gripping the back of my head with his large hand.

I reached down and grabbed his massively hard bulge in my hand and squeezed roughly. "Oh god..." He groaned. I squeezed his erection beneath his damp jeans again and tugged, eliciting a pained moan.

He gripped my waist in his big hands and pushed me back down onto the bed, his ripped body shadowing me. My head was spinning and I felt his lips brush up my throat. I closed my eyes when I felt his teeth scrape my jaw.

"Please..." I begged.

"B.._bells._.." He growled lowly as he continued to gnaw on my skin...his fiery tongue trailed up my face to my waiting open mouth.

I felt his wet, hot tongue enter me, and I closed my lips around it. He groaned as his hand crawled up my shirt and wrapped around my breast. His mouth wouldn't give me a chance to breathe, and I began to panic from the lack of oxygen. I pulled his hair, searching for air. But his lips had an unrelenting suction on mine.

His strong body kept me in place as he pressed his erection into my now dripping sex beneath my sweatpants. I gasped at the pressure against the sensitive area. Jacob panted into my mouth and I inhaled deeply... realizing Jacob's sweet breath was all the air I needed to survive.

I moaned as his teeth grazed my throat, then I heard something rip. He reached between us, fumbling with something as I held his face in my hands, tugging his lips with my teeth.

Then I felt the cold breeze against my skin. My legs were bare, my pants were gone. I turned my head while Jacob continued exploring my face and neck, and I saw the black fabric scattered in several pieces all over the hardwood floor.

My sanity was screaming at me to stop this, or I'd regret it later. But my eyes rolled back, and my mind went fuzzy at the feeling of Jacob's hot breath on me. Then, I felt something unimaginably hot brush my inner thigh. An electric shock went through my body, and I pushed Jacob's chest.

"Jacob wait..." I breathed and pushed him again. He didn't stop as he groaned and raked his fingers through my hair.

"Behh...Bellla..." He breathed into my neck.

"...wait Jacob please..." The throbbing heat stroked against my tender flesh this time, and I sucked in a sharp breath. Oh I didn't want him to stop, but my nerves were going haywire, and I felt extremely exposed like never before. "...ohhh Jake...s..sstop...!"

He pushed himself up with his huge arms and looked down at my red face. His lust-filled eyes crumpled and he hung his head, his messy bangs falling in front of his face.

"I've never done this before..." I said timidly, covering my lower body as best I could with my hands.

Jacob fell back against the wall and his chest rose and fell heavily at his attempt to catch his breath. He pulled his comforter over his lap before I had a chance to see _it_. I sat up and scooted myself under the comforter as well.

"I'm the biggest...fuck up..." Jacob said between intakes of oxygen, looking at me like he was guilty of murder.

"No, Jake. You're just...I understand if you need to release the stress..." I held a hand over my racing heart.

Jacob shot me a horrified look. "You think that? Bella, you really think I'm trying to..." He grabbed my hand and pulled me against him and I was instantly in his comforting arms. "I would never use you like that." He sounded angry, yet his voice cracked with sadness. "Ever!" He shook me.

We sat in silence for a moment, our bodies breathing almost in unison together, my arms wrapped around his hard torso. He crushed me against his heaving chest and lovingly brushed the strands of tangled hair out of my face.

"I don't think I've done it before, either..." He whispered and kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering there.

"Really?" I looked up at him, causing his lips to brush my forehead. I closed my eyes.

"If I have, I... I don't remember."

_Oh thank you, thank you thank you_

I couldn't bear the thought of some whore being filled with my gorgeous Jacob. He was all mine, whether he knew it or not. And he was going to be my first, and I was going to be his. He just didn't know it yet.

I smiled and pressed my lips to his chest...trying to suppress the ridiculous happy-tears that were burning my eyes. Then I heard a rumble in his chest, and I frowned.

"So that means...your boyfriend never...you two didn't...?"

I sat up fast. He was _not_ going to bring Edward up? No fucking way!

"No, Jake! You don't understand, he could've killed me..."

"I'll rip that mother-fucker's...oh god Bella, if he ever..."

"No no, Jacob, he... he wouldn't kill me. He's not my boyfriend, remember! I ended things with him. I don't want him! Would I be here with you right now if I did? Would I...would I...?" My words trailed off as my gaze caught his wide, hypnotizing, warm eyes full of shock, confusion, and hope.

As I registered the adorable expression on his precious face, I was overcome with affection. My eye-lids hooded and I raised myself onto my knees so we could be level.

I wrapped my fingers around his neck, and planted a peck on his cute mouth. I crossed my arms behind his head and lingered there...taking in just the simple feeling of my lips touching his. He slowly parted them and I couldn't help it. I plunged my tongue into his open mouth. He groaned and slid his hands under the blanket. I felt the burn against my skin when he gripped my rear.

Jacob pulled me to him suddenly. I was hovering over his lap. He tore his mouth from mine roughly, and I grieved at the absence of his swollen, honey lips. But I closed my eyes as their warmth and tenderness moved to my neck and then my ear.

"I love you, Bella." His hot breath sent a chill up my spine, my mouth fell open and my chest heaved as I took in his words. The dam broke, and I turned my face, burying myself in his messy locks. He said it again, breathing into the crook of my neck, his hair soaking up the unrelenting tears I spilled.

He loved me. He loved me? But he didn't remember me...? I didn't care either way. Oh god, Jacob said those three words I'd been craving to hear again since that wretched day on the cold mountain top. Jacob loved me. He wasn't just a horny teenage boy with raging hormones. How did I deserve him? How was I allowed to be so happy? Did anyone really deserve to be so happy? After I'd hurt two men who loved me more than themselves? After learning of Jacob's amnesia, I was sure I'd be punished to live without his love for the rest of my life.

I couldn't speak, I was sobbing into Jake's hair, holding his head into my neck with all the strength I had in myself. His large arms enveloped me, crushing my shaking body to his, and my breath caught at the terrible pain that suddenly shot through my groin, numbing my brain.

I cried out into Jacob's shoulder, and he pulled away, releasing me and leaning back against the wall again. I fell against his hard chest, gripping his shirt in my hands, my tears falling down his smooth skin.

"Bella." Jacob pulled me off of him slowly and cradled me in his arms. "Oh god...sh-shit..." He gently, removed me from his lap and laid me on the bed beside him. "I...I've gotta get out of here."

I grabbed his shirt with my hand, making him stay. "No!...I need you!" He turned to look at me, his eyes red and wet. "Please, Jacob." I cried.

Without hesitation, he pushed me down onto the bed beneath him. I looked up through the blurriness, trying to see his gorgeous face through the tears. I squeezed my eyes, allowing the water to fall freely.

"Don't...don't cry. _Please." _He lowered his face to my breast_. "_I can't do this." He moaned.

"Jacob, it's okay. If you don't want me, then..."

His mouth interrupted me, wolfishly devouring my lips as if he were going to eat me alive. I could feel the dull ache and the swelling, but it was an amazing, exciting, good pain...and I didn't want it to stop. I needed him so bad. I throbbed for him as he continued to attack my face.

I dug my fingers into his back, underneath his soft shirt that was just getting in the way. But, I couldn't deny that it was sexy as hell flowing freely around his perfect body.

He suddenly went rigid, the muscles in his back tightening under my palm, and I felt the stabbing again, a jarring pain shooting through the center of my body, numbing my mind.

"Jake!" I screamed out and my breath caught. His body was stiff over me, unmoving. The pain stopped momentarily and I opened my eyes to see Jacob's flushed face, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and he wasn't breathing. "Jake." I reached a shaking hand up and touched his cheek.

He slowly parted his lids and breathed out, desire, exhaustion, and love weighing in his heavy, dark eyes.

"Does it hurt?" He gasped out heavily.

"N..no." I shook my head and pulled him down on top of me. He moaned and hunched over me, dropping his face to my shoulder. "You could never hurt me, Jake." I turned my face and tenderly kissed the crescent scar on his neck. "I love you..." I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him into me slowly.

He let out a repressed sob into my shoulder and gripped my rear, holding me to him. I bit my lip, hugging Jacob's head tightly, tears falling from my eyes from the good pain. He slowly began moving inside of me. My mind went fuzzy as everything around our entwined bodies faded and the pain quickly turned to ecstasy.

His lips met mine again and I pushed his jeans further down his legs with my feet. He moaned into my mouth as I felt the ridges of his thickness sliding in and out of me, his thrusts slow and meaningful.

"Uhhhnnghhh...my.. a-angel..." His delicious steam puffed against my face with every plunge, and I whined in pleasure from the unbelievable feeling. He pulled up, sitting back on his knees. His piercing eyes swirled with a thousand emotions. His claws dug into my hips as his thrusts became fast and urgent.

It was so much, too intense. I covered my face with my hands as I felt each jolt Jacob sent through my body, hard and controlled. A massive scream was building in my throat, but it was stuck. It was too much, too much but never enough. My throat couldn't release a sound as I felt myself contracting around my Jacob. The dizzying pleasure danced through my nerve endings, sending my body to that other place...where there was only me and Jake, and nobody could hurt us.

He leaned over me and took hold of my wrists, removing my hands from my face with one hand.

"Don't..." He breathed. "...you're..._beautiful_..." Our lust-filled eyes met, and I touched his sweaty cheek with my hand.

He returned his fist to the mattress, his arms flexing to hold himself up. Jacob's face became hazy as I felt the huge head of his engorged member hit my sweet spot repeatedly...causing neverending tingles throughout my body.

The sounds he made and the pure gratification on his face as our bodies rocked together thrilled me, and I swore I was dreaming. There was no way my best friend was giving himself to me as I had dreamed so many times before.

I was so sensitive when the contractions finally stopped...and before it became unbearable, the sensitivity was replaced by more pleasure. Jacob grunted and threw his head back as he pounded me harder, his mouth open and his eyes squeezed shut.

The rain plummeted against the roof and windows, drowning out our cries, and the lamp flickered next to the shaking bed.

"Nnnggh, ahhh..." Jacob's sounds were carnal. He clenched his jaw and growled, opening his eyes...they were almost black. Suddenly, he sat back, pulling me up with him without removing himself from me.

He held me in place, no longer thrusting as his body quaked violently...his lips meeting my neck and his fingers unintentionally pulling my hair. I cried out and rocked my hips as I felt him twitch inside of me...the pulsating flame filling the deepest depths of me.

_No, It can't be over already. I want it to go on foreve_r

When his body finally recovered, he slowly lifted his face from my neck, straightening completely. He looked down at me through his shaggy hair that hung in his eyes and I brushed the matted mess away so I could look into them. I clung to him as I sat in his lap, my legs wrapped around him securely. We were both panting, unable to say any words. Nothing needed to be said. We had shown each other everything.

* * *

Jacob left the room, telling me he was going to get my clothes. Luckily, Billy had been kind enough to throw mine in the dryer for me.

He returned wearing a white wife-beater and shorts, my clothes balled up in his hands.

"Found the shorts in the dryer. It's too hot for jeans."

"Actually, it's freezing in here. You're just hot, Jake." I laughed.

I changed my clothes while Jacob faced his bedroom door, swaying impatiently and promising not to peek. We'd shared ourselves in the most intimate way only an hour ago, but he'd not seen me _completely_ naked and I was self conscious.

It felt good to be wearing my own clothes, but I still wanted to ask Jacob if I could keep that grey shirt...

I grinned and stretched myself over his bed, enveloping my body into the comforter that smelled like Jacob's skin. Nothing could get me down. Absolutely NOTHING.

I sighed as I watched him pick up the shredded remains of what used to be a nice pair of black sweat pants. The lamp next to the bed flickered again, and I tapped it with my fingers.

"The power's gonna go out." I said.

"Are you scared of the dark?" He grinned up at me as he grabbed the last few pieces of fabric off the floor.

"No." I lied. "Gosh I'm tired." I managed to get out through a yawn. "I'll sleep on the floor, and you can take the bed."

Billy wouldn't be too thrilled to find us in bed together in the morning.

"No way. I've got the padding to handle this hard floor, unlike some of us..." He flashed his teeth and flexed his biceps before grabbing an extra pillow from the closet shelf. He tossed it onto the floor beside the bed, flipped the lamp off, and laid down on the hardwood floor.

I groaned from my sore loins and sank into the comfort of his little bed...the place where I'd just shared the most amazing experience with the most amazing man in the whole world.

"Goodnight, Jake." I hung my arm over and he took my hand in his. I felt warm and safe, like in my sweetest dreams.

"Thank you." His voice was so low... barely audible.

"For what?" I whispered.

"For loving me."

I squeezed his hand.

"Forever." I whispered.

"Promise?" His voice cracked.

"Promise." I smiled into the mattress and closed my eyes, happy-tears threatening once again.

"Thank you."

"For what, Jake?"

"For you."

I felt his warm lips against my hand, the butterflies were unapologetic again.

"Goodnight, Bells."

_Bells_

Heat flooded my face, and my heart leapt in my chest. I smiled and squeezed Jacob's hand, thanking God for the storm as the soothing sound of rain whisked me off to a dreamland that, for once, wasn't as perfect as reality.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

"Wake up, Jacob, wake up!" An irritating female's voice rang too loudly in my ears.

I squinted at the bright light coming in from the windows.

_Whoever you are, shut the hell up and go away_

I closed my eyes and squashed my face into the pillow, wishing I could go back to sleep and dream about what happened the night before with my angel...in case that's all it had been: just a dream.

"Come on, Sam wants you guys to eat breakfast at his place. Emily is waiting, and she'd be heartbroken if you don't show up after she slaved all morning cooking."

"Leah, maybe we should just let him sleep..."

The sound of Bella's voice caught my attention, and I lifted my face from the pillow. Damnit, morning came too fast. I wanted to dream some more.

It had taken me hours to fall asleep. I had been too busy listening to Bella's breathing most of the night...and thinking about what she had told me. She loved me.

After a few minutes of trying to drown out the voices to no avail, I finally managed to push myself up off the floor, my desire for rest still hanging over me. Before I could ask any questions, I was dragged from the bedroom by two small pairs of hands holding onto mine.

When the blurriness in my eyes mostly cleared, I could see my beautiful angel smiling and giggling, clinging to my left hand. Another girl was holding my right hand.

They lead me through the short hall, then shoved me down onto the couch in the middle of the small den.

"Hey!" I looked up at the two girls whose arms were crossed under their chests, smiling down at me. "What the hell's going on?" I demanded in a tired voice, yawning and rubbing my eyes.

"Are you awake yet? We need to go already." The voice I didn't recognize wasn't so irritating when she wasn't shouting.

I looked up, still squinting from the morning light. Who was this girl? She looked like me...well, sorta.

"I'm going to wait in the car. Get him to hurry up, okay?" The Indian girl walked past Bella and out the front door, but not before I noticed the tattoo near her shoulder.

Where had I seen that before? Oh yeah, It was the same tattoo I'd found on my arm while I was getting dressed...after the incident with Bella on the couch...

We had something in common, that girl and I. But I didn't know what. Were we in some kind of gang or something?

As I continued to ask myself questions, Bella grabbed my hands and yanked me, as if she could lift my heavy body by her little self.

"Come on Jake, you can sleep in the car if you're that tired."

I helped her out by raising myself off the comfortable cushions that were calling my name, begging me to return and surrender myself to more much needed sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for all the support and kind words everyone. You all are my motivation...and Jacob of course ;D**

**-xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**


	25. Impossible

**NTYP Chapter 25**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

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* * *

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**"I'm going to wait in the car. Get him to hurry up, okay?" The Indian girl walked past Bella and out the front door, but not before I noticed the tattoo near her shoulder.**

**Where had I seen that before? Oh yeah, It was the same tattoo I'd found on my arm while I was getting dressed...after the incident with Bella on the couch. We had something in common, that girl and I. But I didn't know what. Were we in some kind of gang or something? As I continued to ask myself questions, Bella grabbed my hands and yanked me, as if she could lift my heavy body by her little self...**

**"Come on Jake, you can sleep in the car if you're that tired."**

**I helped her out by raising myself off the comfortable cushions that were calling my name, begging me to return and surrender myself to more much needed sleep.**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"He looks like a pretzel back there." Leah laughed.

"Shhh, he's sleeping." I glanced back to see Jacob whose huge body was squished into the backseat of Leah's little black 1995 Honda Accord.

Leah's car had belonged to her father, Harry Clearwater...but after his tragic death, Leah's mother was too distraught to keep anything that was his.

Refusing to ever drive the honda again, Sue gifted it to her daughter who had begged her for it for weeks following the funeral.

Leah had quickly become obsessed with the little car...making sure it was always immaculately clean, and never allowing anybody to drive it but her. Jacob had told me everyone figured it was her way of showing love and devotion to her dead father...even if it was just a metal box. After all...it was the only thing she had left that bonded her to her dad.

Before the incident with Jacob and the Newborn, Leah had been paying Jake to be her repair man...bringing the car to him whenever she thought she heard the engine make a funny noise. Everyone knew she was just paranoid, but Jacob would refuse Leah's money and agree to look at it anyway. Jacob's skills had kept it in pristine condition.

"I wish he'd shut up. He's ruining my song."

"I think it's cute." I smiled at Jacob's adorable snoring. It was pretty loud, though...and was drowning out the Christina Aguilera song that was playing on the radio.

"So thanks for making me...a fighter!" Leah sang loud with enthusiasm, and I shook my head and laughed.

"What, Bella? Tell me I suck, go ahead." She turned the radio off and rolled her eyes.

"What's gotten into you, Leah?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?" She threw her head back and yelled at the roof of the vehicle and growled. "Jacob, Shuut uup!" Her whining turning quickly into throaty laughter.

"Shhh!" I slapped her arm. "Don't wake him up."

It surprised me every time she laughed. Leah laughing? I'd never seen it...or heard it before. Though I admit, I'd never really hung out with her before, either.

"Leah, are you okay? Like, seriously? You're way too hyper..."

Her laughing finally ceased, and she exhaled loudly.

"No Bella. I...I'm better than I've been in a long time." She hiccuped.

"Okay, tell me what happened to you..." I said expectantly and watched her closely, eagerly awaiting her explanation for the strange new attitude.

"When Jacob almost died..." Leah said quietly, her eyes tightening.

Just those words caused me to look away from her and out the window.

"I...I lost it. I was angry at first...at him, for almost leaving us." She continued. "But, then I was angry at myself. Remember when we talked at the flea's house?"

I huffed at the mention of Edward...I hadn't thought of him much since he'd left the rez.

"I told you I was a bitch to him...to everybody." A sniffle from her caused me to glance her way, and I noticed she was gripping the steering wheel so tight her knuckles were white. "I'm not going to be a bitch anymore, Bella." She sniffed again and looked at me, wiping the wetness from under her eyes this time.

"Leah, it's alright." I placed a hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to change for him. He doesn't understand what you've been...what you're _going _through..."

"Exactly!" She yelled. Jacob groaned from the backseat and Leah rolled her eyes again. "That's why I'm going to change...because he has." She whispered. "I can't be a bitch to him now. He _wouldn't _understand."

"So you're going to be a bitch to everyone else?" This was the weirdest conversation ever.

"Well, not if I can help it. I'm going to really try." Leah nodded and sniffed again. "I know what it feels like to lose someone I love."

I nodded to her and stroked her arm, trying to show her understanding.

"Sam..." She whispered. "..and...and Jacob..." Her voice got louder. "I almost lost Jacob, Bella. But I didn't! He's alive and, I just...I want to be better. I want to be a better woman for him."

A better woman for Jacob? That sounded a little strange, but I thought I understood what she meant.

For the first time, I felt like I actually liked Leah. She did seem different. Maybe the whole almost-losing-a-pack-member thing made her appreciate what she had instead of sulking over what she didn't have.

"I'm proud of you." I murmured. I'd never said that to any of my friends, much less somebody who hated me...or _used t_o hate me.

Leah just looked at me...the ugly scowl that used to deform her lovely features was gone. She gave me an awkward smile before returning her gaze to the road.

We finally arrived at Sam and Emily's. With the help of Jared and Seth, we were able to shake Jacob awake.

_My poor baby...didn't you sleep at all last night? _

Jacob swatted the two boys away, his large arms flailing around as he exited the vehicle.

"Yeah yeah, I'm awake...jeez." He stood up and I heard his bones pop as he stretched. Seth slapped him on the back and ran inside the house behind Leah and Jared.

"Where are we?" Jacob yawned, squinting as he took in the house sitting before us.

"Sam and Emily's." I got up on my tiptoes and pulled him down so I could whisper in his ear. "Emily's face is scarred real bad...so try not to stare at her okay?" He nodded and I took his hand, leading him inside after the others.

"Welcome home!" We were greeted with the cheers and squeals from Jacob's family and the pack. My dad was also there, cheering beside Billy.

_This is too much for him right now...too much!_

I wanted to protect Jacob, to run away and seclude him somewhere. These people were all new to him, and they were yelling and screaming. If my heart was beating this fast, I could only imagine how Jacob was handling it.

I clung to his arm and looked up at him. His eyes were wide, but he didn't look panicked. I was relieved at that.

"Jacob?" I tugged his arm and he looked down at me. "Are you okay?"

Before he had a chance to answer me, Paul's huge arms crushed him in an embrace only Jacob could survive.

"We're so glad you're alright, man. Hell, we love ya bro." Paul released him, and not a second later, another pack member was smothering him with bear-hugs and brotherly love.

Throughout the seemingly never-ending greetings, Jacob smiled and thanked everybody. I was in awe of his strength. He wasn't a weakling, that was certain.

Emily came up beside me. "Bella, how are you?" She hugged me then stood back, holding my shoulders. "We've missed you so much. You'll be around here more often, please say yes!"

"Of course." I nodded and smiled in return.

"Let's eat now, I've got plenty of food for everyone." She took my hand and lead me to the table piled high with every kind of breakfast food you could imagine while Jacob was pushed into the living room by howling boys.

I sat in the little wooden chair, unable to take a bite of the scrambled eggs on my plate. All I could concentrate on was Jacob being mobbed in the other room.

I watched from afar as the guys punched his arms playfully, laughing and telling him how much they missed him for the weeks he was unconscious. It upset me so much. I wanted him sitting next to me, with a full stomach and at peace. Didn't they know he probably needed some space?

"How's it going, Bells?" My dad threw some bacon on a plate and patted me on the back. "I can't stay long. Gotta head down to the office." He crunched on a strip of bacon and grabbed a couple biscuits. "Guess I'll take Billy home first, otherwise he's staying here the rest of the day."

I just nodded and kept my eyes on Jacob who was too far away, still surrounded by hyper teenage guys.

"Someone else could take him home." I murmured as my blood began to boil. Leah smiled at Jacob, introducing herself in the sweetest voice I'd ever heard come out of her.

Then her arms were around my Jacob, her face pressed into his chest, her hands against his strong back. I'd never felt so protective...so _angry_. What was wrong with me?

My hands were trembling, my fork making a clanking noise against my plate. Charlie placed a hand on mine, stopping the noise.

"Something the matter, Bells?" Charlie asked.

"No!" I shouted. "I mean...no, I...I just..." I looked up at Charlie...his eyebrows raised and his hands up like I was holding a gun at him. "I'm fine, dad."

"Oookaayy..." He made it clear he thought I was kooky, but I didn't care. My eyes quickly returned to Jake. At least Leah wasn't clinging to my man anymore.

I sighed when Sam finally walked up to Jacob, parting the ridiculous crowd. Sam was the only one who didn't attack him the minute he had a chance to.

He whispered something in Jacob's ear, then I watched as they both walked down the long hall, disappearing into a far room together.

Curiosity got the best of me...not to mention I was a little worried. I got up from my chair and started toward the living room when Emily caught my arm.

"Sam is just having a talk with Jake. He's alright." I looked at her and the friendliness she exuded made me feel at ease. I forced a smile at her and she freed my arm before offering me more food.

I refused the offer kindly before exiting the house through the back doors leading to a large porch. I sat down on the small steps and took in the fresh, woodsy air.

_What's going on with Sam and Jacob! Why was I jealous when Leah held him? Jacob, oh Jake..._

"Bella! What's up!" Jared plopped himself down on the steps beside me.

"What do you want, Jared?" I asked unintentionally revealing my annoyance.

"How is Jacob taking things? He hasn't said a word to any of us. He just looks at us like..."

"Like he doesn't want to talk to you? Like you're too much for him right now? Yeah, you should really leave him alone."

"Whoa, Bella. What's up your..."

"Hey. What are you two talking about?" Embry showed up on the porch, his mouth full. "You gonna eat, Bella?"

"Not hungry," I answered him without turning around.

"I wouldn't try talking to her right now." Jared said before stomping back into the house, leaving Embry and I alone on the porch.

"Jared, wait..." I turned around to see Embry with a plate in his hands, scarfing down eggs and hash browns. " I didn't mean to be so rude."

"Huh? Oh, Jare? He'll get over it." He chewed loudly. "Come on, you need to eat something. Jake would want you to."

I sighed. How could I say no to that? "Okay." I followed Embry back into the kitchen and sat down in the little wooden chair. Where was Jacob and Sam? What was taking so long? I wanted Jacob back. I wanted him back...so badly...why was I trembling?

Though I wasn't in the mood for eating, Embry said Jake would want me to, and that was enough motivation for me. I threw a few pancakes on my plate and was reaching for the syrup when I heard two familiar voices chuckling behind me. Sue? Charlie?

I turned around, and standing in front of the kitchen sink were none other than Sue and Charlie, having an all too obvious flirting session that was uncomfortable to watch.

"Ugh, how can I eat in this environment?" I mumbled to myself. I poured too much syrup on my pancakes, then made my way into the living room, plopping myself down on the brown leather couch. I propped my feet up on the coffee table.

_I don't want to eat. I just want Jake_

It took me a few bites of my food before I noticed how quiet it was. I could hear Brady and Collin horsing around outside and Charlie and Sue giggling in the kitchen, but where was everybody else?

I set the plate down on the coffee table and walked to the window. Emily and Leah were on the front porch talking while Brady and Collin were either trying to kill each other or were just wrestling in the grass for sport. Where did the rest of the guys go?

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

"Do you understand everything I've told you?"

"Yes." I stood by the large bookshelf in Sam's room, replaying the ridiculous information over and over in my head.

"Listen man, we're here for you." Embry had a sympathetic look on his face when he walked over to me.

I didn't want his sympathy...I didn't want anybody's sympathy.

"Yeah, Jake. We've all been through this. Hell, you got through it the first time." Seth said from his sitting position on Sam's large bed.

"Jacob, there's one more thing." Sam's voice was louder than the others.

There was more? How the hell could there be more?

_I'm the fucking Alpha of a tribe of magical Indians who's sole reason for existence is to protect the human population from sparkly ass vampires and I'm trapped like this forever and there's nothing I can fucking do about it...and he tells me there's more?_

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest at a painful speed.

"Son, just listen to what Sam has to say." Billy spoke from his chair that was parked near the bedroom door.

"Once you go through the transformation...which you did some time ago... there's a possibility of an imprint." Sam said evenly.

"Imprint?" I questioned him, my voice solid. I didn't want to appear like I couldn't handle this.

"An imprint is your soul mate, Jacob. It only happens to us wolves...the shapeshifters. When we meet the person who is completely right for us in all ways, we've imprinted."

_Imprinted? My soul mate? Completely right for me?_

"This will have a very huge impact on you if it happens, so I'm informing you now so that you won't be confused."

_Oh I'm not confused_

"When you meet this person, you will no longer care about anything but them. You will be drawn to them like no other, see them like no other, love them like no other. They'll be your lifeline."

I could feel my temperature rising as I thought of my angel. My chest constricted and I closed my eyes at the feeling of it. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

"They will need you as well, and you will supply whatever that need may be, no matter what it costs you."

_Whatever she needs, anything..._

"But because of this, Jacob...you need to be aware that they have the ability to hurt you worse than anybody, because you will be putty in their hands. I know this is a lot to dump on you all at once, but you are rightfully our Alpha. You must know."

_She wouldn't hurt me. My Bella, my angel, my soul mate, my everything, my..._

My lungs finally expanded, allowing me an intake of much needed oxygen.

"What?" I gasped, then quickly got my breaths under control. "Oh...right." I cleared my throat and tried to clear my mind of Bella as the feeling of sweat tickled my brow.

Everything started to make more sense. The fact that I didn't know Bella, but I knew I loved her the moment I woke up in that hospital bed. She was mine and I would always belong to her.

_But what if she doesn't want to be my imprint? She should have the right to choose who she wants. Wait, does she already know about it...? Why didn't she tell me?_

"Jacob, you shouldn't take on your duty as Alpha. Not yet...there's no way you're ready." Sam glared at me with a worried expression on his strong face. "You opted out once, you can still do that. Jacob?"

I didn't know what was wrong with me. Everything was just happening so fast. Too much information. Too much responsibility. Then finding out my angel belonged to me. I was Alpha of a pack of crazy wolves. I had to lead them into inevitable battles with mythical creatures. I felt woozy...nauseous. I blinked, but the large guys filling the small room began to blur. Everything went black.

"Jake!" The loud voices sounded like they were shouting from the end of a long tunnel, and I felt several large hands grab hold of me before I hit the floor. "Jake!" I could feel myself being shaken until the blackness dissipated, and many blurry, terrified faces came into view.

"Do you need to lie down, Jacob?" Sam asked me.

"No." I breathed, the dizziness was gone, and everyone was clear again...sharper, anyway. They slowly helped me to a stand so I could regain my composure. "You said I am...rightfully Alpha." I stated affirmatively, willing my damn heart to slow down, but was unsuccessful. "I'm ready." Straightening my posture and eyeing the rest of my pack, I clenched my fists and held my head high.

Sam looked at me unconvinced. "Look Jacob, you may need a little more time before you take on this responsibility."

He was right. I was lying to myself. I was new to this. I was _not_ ready.

"Fine...whatever." I dropped my head into my hands. "I just...I need to see Bella now. I have to see her."

"Yeah, we should get back to the girls. I think Jake is going to be fine, he's going to need our support, though." Sam told the rest of the guys who then ran out the door, hollering in a language I was surprised I could understand.

"Think you can handle those guys, Jacob?" Billy asked in his gruff voice.

Honestly, I didn't know. I was afraid, but I wouldn't let them know that. When would I get to meet one of these bloodsuckers? Would I fear them...or would I feel at ease around them, natural...like I was born to deal with them and rip their heads clean off without a blink? Had I already come in contact with one without realizing it? How did I turn into that giant wolf like before? Would I always be in excruciating pain every time I transformed?

"I need your help with something." I was humiliated to ask Sam for assistance, but I needed it. "I don't know how to phase."

Sam stared at me for a moment, then he burst out laughing. I looked up at the ceiling, wishing I could disappear again. Then his heavy arm slammed down on my back.

"Come on kid, I'll show ya a thing or two. You'll catch on fast just like before." He was busy telling me about my phasing talents and something about how I had more control than the other guys, but as we made our way down the hall behind Billy, I spotted her.

She was sitting on the couch, looking annoyed as hell as my Indian brothers danced around the room, hollering something about the pack being back together in the same ancient language. I paid little attention to their words ... they were of complete unimportance to me as I watched my angel take a small bite of food from her fork.

Sam was right, everything and everyone else didn't matter, only her. I couldn't tear my gaze away, she was so magnificently beautiful. All I'd ever want for the rest of my life. Every time I laid eyes on her it was like seeing her for the first time again_._ Then she saw me, and her face lit up like the sunrise.

She jumped off the couch...her plate of food clattering to the floor. She nearly tripped over the coffee table trying to get to me. Our bodies collided, and I embraced her for the first time since I'd been fully awake.

"Jacob, Jake...oh god I missed you." She mumbled into my chest and I held her head against me, my fingers twisted in her waves of thick hair.

"You did?" I couldn't hide the immense joy her words brought me. "Bella." I moaned and lowered my face to her hair, breathing her sweetness in.

"Don't leave me again." Her hands slid up my shirt, clutching the skin at my back.

"Uhh, guys?" I barely heard Embry's voice. Bella's hands were on me and that's all I cared about.

"I wasn't gone that long, was I?" I leaned down and placed kisses over every inch of her little face.

"Too...too long." She breathed against my cheek, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I won't leave...you don't understand...I _can't _leave you, I can't." I moaned as I felt her tiny hands frantically feeling every part of me that they could.

"Jacob?" Sam's growl awoke me from my love spasm, and I looked up at him, noticing then that the room was full of dark eyes peering straight into us.

Bella seemed to have noticed, too. She lifted her face from me and began to back away, but I grabbed her wrists, keeping her close to me.

"Bells?" Charlie walked into the room, then stopped short. "What's going on?"

"Impossible." Paul whispered, looking at Sam whose piercing eyes were fixated on me and Bella. "It's not possible, Sam."


	26. I Love Jacob

**NTYP Chapter 26**

**DISCLAIMER: Twilight Belongs To Stephenie Meyer**

**A/N: I'm now on JBNP...come be my friend! (link in profile)**

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**"Jacob?" Sam's growl awoke me from my love spasm, and I looked up at him, noticing then that the room was full of dark eyes staring straight into us.**

**Bella seemed to have noticed, too. She lifted her face from me and began to back away, but I grabbed her wrists, keeping her close to me.**

**"Bells?" Charlie walked into the room, then stopped short. "What's going on?"**

**"Impossible." Paul whispered, looking at Sam whose eyes were fixated on me and Bella. "It's not possible, Sam."**

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**Bella's POV**

Sam's Alpha voice unfortunately had the power to rip Jacob's eyes away from me.

_Sam..._

I stepped back, breathing hard. What was wrong with me? I usually wasn't one to show such PDA, but every second I was away from Jake, I was in pain...mentally, emotionally, physically.

I just wanted his arms around me, to hear his voice whispering in my ear, to feel his heart thudding against my palm on his hot chest.

Jacob's hands gripped my wrists hard and pulled me toward him again. As Charlie's voice became clearer in my head, I suddenly was aware of the situation.

As far as all of Jacob's friends and family knew, as well as Charlie, I was in love with Edward...and still dating him. I tried to pull my arms away from Jacob in an attempt to get out of the confusing scene.

I wanted to run away and hide somewhere. I wasn't ready to announce to everyone that we were more than friends... because I wouldn't know how to explain it. I myself hadn't even had time to think about what Jacob and I were. It was kind of like we got to this level before either of us even noticed. What would everyone think of me?

They would think I was a whore...playing with Jacob's heart in his weakened state. They would think I was going to have my way with him, then run back to Edward just to leave Jake alone and hurting, without the ability to hold a grudge against me since he didn't know our past.

Or maybe they _would_ understand that I loved him. Maybe they would understand that he was everything...all that I needed to make it through the rest of my existence.

"Bella, can I speak with you for a minute?" Sam asked me as he walked out the front door.

_What in the world does Sam want?_

I looked up at Jake, his eyes were glassy as he stared down at me with a beautiful grin teasing his lips.

"Let me go Jake, I'll be right back." I whispered and smiled reassuringly up at him.

He released his hold on my wrists, and sighed as he watched me reluctantly leave him in the living room. I heard Charlie ask what was going on again before I stepped out.

Sam was waiting for me on the porch with a furious look on his face that made fear rise in me.

"Leah...Emily...will you please leave us? I need to speak to Bella alone."

The two girls looked at us suspiciously...but didn't ask any questions. Emily kissed Sam's cheek and walked passed me and into the house. Leah rolled her eyes and shrugged, following close behind Emily.

"Are they getting along now?" I asked Sam, trying to diminish the uncomfortable tension in the air. Sam peered down at me, his grim face unchanging, and I swallowed hard. "I mean...they, I thought Leah hated..." His nostrils flared. "Nevermind..." I nervously scratched my head and looked away from his hard stare.

"What do you think you're doing?" I flinched when he practically shouted at me. "Bella, I think you should leave with your father."

I looked up at him, completely traumatized. "No, I'm not going anywhere! Jacob needs me..."

"He finally has a chance to be free of you...and you're going to just suck him back in. You're already doing it." He gestured toward the window. "What happened to 'just being friends' Bella, huh? If I didn't know better, I'd say you've already got him kissing your feet..."

"No, Sam, I..."

"...damnit, Bella, we've heard his thoughts of suicide over you!"

"Sam!"

"Who in the hell do you think you are, little girl?" He grabbed my arm and strode across the front lawn, dragging me far enough away so nobody could hear us. "Get the hell off the rez, Bella. I want you gone! Out of here! Immediately! We've had enough of your..."

"I love him!" I punched Sam's thick shoulder and jerked my arm away from him before he had a chance to throw me into Charlie's cruiser. "I've loved him since we were little kids playing in the sand at First Beach. Since he dumped that toy truck full of soil and disgusting worms on my head!

I've loved him ever since I looked into his eyes, Sam! Ever since he held my hand the day he told me all of things he wanted to be...all of his dreams..."

I laughed and looked down, wiping the tears from my cheek. "He'll never be what he wanted to be, and it kills me. It kills me, Sam." My voice shook and I looked down at the grass under my shoes. "He was an innocent, beautiful young boy...and now he's a cursed beautiful young man with a hard life ahead of him.

I'm going to be with him every moment...until I'm dead. " I looked up at Sam through the blurriness, but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking down, too.

"Hey." I took his large hand in mine. "Sam?" He didn't look up, but I heard a low rumble in his chest. "I love Jacob, Sam."

"What about Edward?" He asked in a more emotional voice than I'd ever heard come from him. "I said..." He looked up and yanked his hand away from mine, his voice back to it's rugged, deep tone. "...what about your _boyfriend,_ Bella?" He growled.

"There's nothing between us." I shook my head. "Nothing. It's over. I don't want Edward."

"You don't want Edward anymore? Wasn't he your fiance? It's that easy? Just like when you're sick of Jake, you'll throw him out just the same?"

"No!"

"Get out of here, Bella. Don't come back." He started to walk away from me.

"Sam! Don't make me leave! I can't leave Jake!" I collapsed to the ground and sobbed.

Sam stopped walking midway to the house and his shoulders slumped. "Tell me this, Bella." He turned around. "How is it you can't leave him now, when it's always been what you do best?" The tears streamed down my face. He shook his head disgustedly, then turned away and left me only with my misery.

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**Sam's POV**

_Damn her thinking she can get away with this...giving Jake false hope... I always knew she was no good..._

Jacob had the front door open and was on the porch before I could walk up the steps.

"What were you shouting about?" Jacob's hands were suddenly on me, crushing my arms below the shoulders. "Were you fucking yelling at Bella?" He roared two inches from my face.

"Jacob...I need to speak with you."

"Get the hell away from me." He let go and ran past me, flying down the steps. He had Bella in his arms in a matter of seconds. "We're leaving."

"Jacob, just come back inside and we can talk..."

"No, Sam. I'm taking Bella home."

I watched as Jacob carried a sobbing Bella down the road, disappearing around the bend.

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**Bella's POV**

"Shhhh...shhhh...I've got you..." Jacob's arms held me safely to him as I cried against his chest.

"J...Jake...Sam said I c..can't see you anymore..."

"What? Why the hell would he..? Who cares what he says, Bella. He can't...he _won't_ keep us apart."

"But what if he's right? What if..._no._." I moaned into his breast and he tilted his head down to lay on mine. I couldn't speak. The thought that I would cause Jacob pain for loving him the way I did was too much.

"What did he say to you? Why would he do this to you?" Jacob seemed as upset as I was.

"H-he said...he thinks..." I couldn't tell him what Sam accused me of...what if Jake believed it? "I...promise I w-won't leave you, Jake. I l-love you s-soo much." I tightened my arms around his neck...clinging to him as I blubbered.

I felt the breeze stop...his legs weren't moving anymore...all I could feel were his warm arms holding me to his hot body and his soft face against mine as he nuzzled me.

"H-he's your Al-alpha...you have to...Jacob, you have to do what he says."

"He didn't tell _me_ to leave you alone. He only told you. Don't worry, god don't worry my angel."

I was aware of the earth moving again as Jacob carried me off road and into the trees. Jacob's fresh, delicious scent tied in with the smell of the green forest filled my senses, encouraging me to breathe deeply.

He grunted as he fell to the ground, sitting us under a huge tree. He leaned back against the rough bark, cradling me closer to him. I could smell his skin through his shirt and I breathed in deeply, digging my fingers into the back of his neck.

"Ow Bells, do you enjoy hurting me?" He gave an airy laugh and kissed the top of my head.

Enjoy hurting him? Oh god, no. No! I would end my life if I caused him an ounce of pain.

"No!" I quickly pulled my hands away and wrapped my arms around me so I couldn't harm my Jacob.

"Heyy...?" He looked shocked and afraid as he tried to untie my arms from myself. "It didn't hurt...I want you to do it again."

I shook my head. No, I refused to cause him any pain.

"Bella, look at me." His voice was strong yet broken with worry.

It was so hard. I felt so guilty and unworthy of Jacob. I didn't want to hurt him, yet he sounded as if I were doing just that. His voice was drowning in sadness. I didn't want to look up in case his eyes matched his voice, but if I did what he asked...maybe it would bring him _some_ kind of joy.

I wiped the wetness from my nose and face. I slowly looked up and into Jake's tortured eyes. Oh god, did I cause that?

Just then, everything in our past came tumbling down onto me like a massive avalanche threatening to bury me alive. All the pain I'd caused Jacob over the last few years registered in me all at once. So many nights I had caused his eyes to redden...to swell with tears...to close and never want to open again.

As I looked into his beautiful face twisted with worry, and the glistening in his dark eyes full of love and concern and sympathy for me, I realized just how much I hated myself. I wanted to die for putting him through years of torture. I had in fact thrown him away many times over.

And I remembered. Sam said that Jacob thought of killing himself because of me.

"I'm s-so s-sorry Jaaake..." I wailed as my body crumpled in his huge arms. He shouldn't hold me, shouldn't be here with me at all... but Jacob was holding me together again. He was always there for me when I least deserved him.

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**Sam's POV**

"Somebody needs to tell me what's going on." Charlie asked as I walked back inside. Sue had an arm around him, and they both watched me closely.

_Charlie...what do I say to Charlie?_

I sighed.

"Your daughter is having issues right now...Jacob is having issues...so It's probably a good idea if you keep her away from here."

"What are you talking about?" Charlie frowned and looked over at Billy who was looking at me. " Jake is Bella's friend" Charlie's gaze shot back to me "...they can handle whatever these uh..._issues._.. are that you're talking about."

"Sam..." Paul whispered. "We really need to talk." He motioned toward the hall.

"Ok Paul...just a minute." I looked back at Bella's completely confused father. "Your daughter needs to stay away from Jacob right now...until we figure some things out."

"Wait wait wait, I don't understand any of this." Charlie took a few steps closer to me. "That just isn't right. Jake is the best thing for Bella. I've seen her at her worst...and that boy has gotten her out of it when nobody else could..."

"Believe me, Mr. Swan, nobody knows that as well as I...or any of the guys in this room, do. Trust me when I tell you...it's better if she just left him alone."

"But Sam..." Paul leaned in and whispered close to my ear. "...if he...**_you know_**...then that's not such a good idea If you know what I'm saying..."

"Shut up, Paul. Look Mr. Swan, Jacob ran off with Bella. He said he's taking her home, so you might want to check on it. If you see Jacob, tell him to get back here immediately."

"Listen here, I don't have to do a thing you say..."

"If you care about your daughter, you'll keep her away from him. I can't explain, just keep her away...for_ her _own good."

"Don't you mean for _Jake's_ own good?" Jared laughed.

I turned around and glared at the stupid boy. Why didn't they know when to shut up?

"Sorry..." Jared apologized quietly and looked away. I turned around to face Bella's father again.

"Fine, Sam. Whatever." He held his hands up. "...just...let me know what's going on with them as soon as possible. I don't have time for this...teen drama...stuff." Charlie turned toward the front door. "I guess I could make a stop at the house and tell Jacob to get back here."

I thanked Charlie and didn't wait around to see him leave. I needed to talk to the pack.

"My room, boys."

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"What the hell, Sam! Jacob totally imprinted on Bella, and you want to separate them? Are you insane?" Paul shrieked and hit himself upside the head with his large hand.

"Watch your tone." I told Paul. "No, Jacob didn't imprint. It's impossible, like you said."

"I know that look I saw in Jake's eyes." Quil chimed in. "He's totally etched into the girl..."

"Yeah, Bella and Jake are sealed, man" Embry had to add.

"Quiet! All of you!" Though Alpha, sometimes it was still damn hard to get any respect. "Jake has known Bella for years. If he didn't imprint on her after he phased, then he never will. That's just the way it is."

"What if it's not just the way it is, Sam?" Seth said in a quiet voice.

"Oh as if you would know, Seth!" Quil elbowed the young wolf.

"Ow!"

"Knock it off, you two! What the hell am I running, a nursery?" I yelled. Finally..._silence_. "Look, there's no way we can know if Jake imprinted."

"Wouldn't Jake know?" Jared asked.

"Probably not since he's a new wolf..._again_." Embry answered.

"Well can't we ask him?"

"Jared, he doesn't know anything right now. He probably doesn't even know how to tie his shoes." Paul quipped.

"You mean, if he _had_ shoes!" Embry laughed.

"Enough!" The jumbled voices stopped. Did I finally have the pack's attention? "This isn't a big deal, so nobody needs to mention this to anyone..._especially_ Jacob."

"But why...?" Seth started.

"I'll talk to him...just me." I said. "He doesn't need all of you bombarding him with questions..." Then I heard someone crying. A female. It was low, and quiet...but my wolf senses picked it up immediately.

I followed the sound to where I saw two beautiful brown eyes peering at me through the cracked bedroom door.

_Leah?_

She hadn't been present for the meeting and I hadn't even noticed.

"Leah...is something wrong?" I took a step toward the door, but then the eyes disappeared.

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**A/N: **

**Thank you to my awesome readers who are sticking with me and this story. I never thought I'd find so many new friends when I posted this, and I appreciate all of your kind words and support!**

**please review ;D**

**-xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**


	27. Dear Shame

**NTYP Chapter 27**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

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**I heard someone crying. A female. It was low, and quiet...but my wolf senses picked it up immediately.**

**I followed the sound to where I saw two beautiful brown eyes peering at me through the cracked bedroom door.**

_**Leah?**_

**She hadn't been present for the meeting and I hadn't even noticed.**

**"Leah...is something wrong?" I took a step toward the door, but then the eyes disappeared.**

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**Leah's POV**

_Jacob_

The surface of my skin tingled. My eyes prickled. The connectors in my brain sparked. A strange fuzzy sensation. The air in my lungs expired. Blood dripped from slits in my palm from the sharp nails that pierced deep. My body shook. My fingers uncurled.

_Imprinted_

I ran through the small house and out the front door, tearing the thin dress from my body. I felt the familiar translocating in every part of my being, then my paws were pounding the dry earth as I barreled through the trees.

A man was calling my name, and I knew it was Sam. There was no way he could catch up with me when I was in wolf form. But then, he was invading my mind.

_Damnit._

_Stop, Leah. I'm coming, so there's no use..._

_Leave me alone !_

_What are you upset about? Please talk to me_

It was impossible to hide my grieving thoughts...impossible to cover up my feelings for Jacob with false hatred now.

_Oh...Leah, oh...!_

I sprinted faster, dredging up dirt beneath me and feeling the wind against my fur. I didn't know where I was going, but I would get there.

_Leah, wait! I understand..._

_Get off my trail!_

It didn't take long for me to figure out how I felt for Jacob. These emotions weren't knew...but my self pity, stress, and responsibility to the pack had forced me to be oblivious until the day Jacob was almost killed.

Then I was certain. As much as I wanted to kick myself for it, I knew what it was. I loved him.

I tried so hard to fight it...to come up with some reason why I found myself dreaming of him at night. Crying tears at the thought I might never see him awake again...never be able to take my pathetic little car to him just to watch his amazing muscles flexing as he worked on the engine.

I'd lay awake in bed at all hours of the night, imagining him well and healed...and holding _me_ closely, telling me he wanted _me_. I knew I had fallen in love with him. But why...and when? I didn't know.

I had already been tortured by Sam and Emily's repulsive love affair...but now Jake? I thought I had a chance, I really did. I thought Bella loved that ugly dick-tick and she didn't have a chance with Jacob...MY Jacob! I never thought any of this could happen!

For weeks and weeks I had spent all of my time wondering if he would wake up. I wanted to go see him by myself while he was unconscious, but I didn't want the pack to catch on. Not to mention, it was not easy controlling myself around all those leeches.

It would have been so out of character for me. It was damn hard to keep my feelings for Jake a secret...but I must have done a good job since nobody seemed to have noticed...until now.

Suddenly I smelled him. Jacob. I smelled his scent and that...that skanky, pale-boney-ass-bitch _Bella_. They were together...here...in the woods. They were close, and I could sense despair. Someone was unhappy, but why? They were supposed to be canoodling, disgustingly in love imprints !

My stomach turned and I did as well, darting to the right and leaping over a few fallen trees in my way. I just had to get far away from him...his smell...it was so delicious my mouth watered. I had to get away from everything. From everyone. From the pain.

I phased as I reached the cliff and stopped at it's edge. At least I was free of Sam's harassing thoughts for the moment. The wind blew my hair around wildly. I hung my head and hid my face in my shaking hands. The sound of waves crashing against the large rocks was calling to me.

But I was scared. I wanted to die, but I didn't want to jump off a fucking cliff. I couldn't get the image of my limp body falling down down down, crashing to the jagged rocks and exploding from the impact, out of my head.

The image of my wrecked body slowly faded...Jacob's broken, bleeding one taking it's place.

I fell to the ground and cried into the dirt as the picture of Jake shrieking from the pain of the Newborn's venom was replaced by Bella's lips all over him.

She sat on a gorgeous, healthy Jacob, grinding herself into the place I wanted to...eliciting way too many groans from his throat. I cursed my evil imagination. Or maybe it was a fantasy I had seen in Jacob's mind in the past. He _did_ daydream about her constantly. Either way, the vision was torturing.

"Leah!" Sam ran to me and placed a hand on my wet face. "Are you alright? I was so worried I'd get here too late."

I couldn't answer as I was lost in my violent sobs and thoughts. I'd never been this weak in front of Sam...in front of anyone. I was known for being hard...strong...the girl nobody could break. The girl that even _guys_ were afraid of. Sure, I'd shed a few tears before, but never like this. I couldn't believe the effect Jacob had on me now.

"Leah, I...I'm sorry, I didn't know. If you had just told someone..."

"Why Sam?" I cried. "What's the point? Nobody can change anything! Nothing can be done..."

"How could you hide this for so long? Oh Leah, come here."

I felt Sam's huge arms scoop my shivering, yet hot body from the ground, and I didn't give a shit that I was naked.

"Let's get you home and some clothes on you, beautiful." My body was slack in his arms...I did not want to feel a man...especially one whose body was so similar to Jacobs. I still couldn't believe he imprinted. "Leah, we love you despite what you probably think..._I _love you. The pack and I ...we will all help you get through this."

"They'll just make fun of me." I groaned and gave in to my needs, curling into his chest. I needed to hold someone...needed someone to hold me.

"They won't...I'll make sure of that."

"Sam?" I whispered. "Don't tell Jake..."

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**Jacob's POV**

"Bella...what's wrong? How could you apologize to me? You've done nothing..._nothing_...sweetheart?"

"Jaaaake..."

When I spoke, it just seemed to make her wail louder. She sobbed and fisted my shirt in her little hands.

"What can I do?" I kissed her red nose.

_There's got to be something I can fucking do for her _

"Stay with me...right here...let's not go anywhere...f-for the rest of our lives."

"You want to live in the woods...this forest? _With me_?"

"Y-yes!" She cried and her face fell against my chest again.

"Bella...that wouldn't be safe for you..." I stood up and held her closely to me as I began walking.

I couldn't tell her that she was obviously too hysterical to know what she was talking about. It would've just upset her even more.

"I would have to build you a treehouse or something." I joked with a slight laugh. "I wouldn't let you live out here in the open...surrounded by nothing but wild animals and..."

"Yes! A treehouse! That's p-perfect Jacob." She stopped sobbing but her chest convulsed from her erratic breaths. "...you'll build us the perfect little treehouse, d-deep in these woods. Just for us."

Was she serious? Yeah, she was. She was so much calmer and tears were no longer spilling onto my soaked shirt.

"Just for us..." I repeated lowly. Whatever my angel wanted...it was hers. "Bella...I know you want to stay here with me forever but...I think you should at least go home and take a hot shower..."

She moaned and clung to me. I was so relieved her crying had stopped. I felt crazy when I heard her cry...like if I didn't find the cure for her distress, it would surely destroy me.

And when Sam had raised his voice at my angel...it was like...like I needed to...to_ kill_ something. Was that the fucking hideous beast inside of me? What all did it take to bring it out? All I knew was I despised seeing my Bella in pain. And what the hell was she so sorry for?

"You'll be home soon, sweetheart." We reached the road again, and I started following it in the opposite direction of Sam and Emily's. "Does that hot shower sound good? How about some hot tea?" I kissed the top of her head. "I can't promise it will taste good, but I'll give it my best shot..."

"Tea..." Her throaty voice was just a whisper. "...shower..." her arms around my neck loosened and I picked up my pace. "Jay..." Her body went limp in my arms and I could hear her deep breathing and sense her slowing heart. She was emotionally if not physically exhausted.

Finally, I reached Bella's street. I would've gotten there so much quicker if I'd ran...but I didn't want to jostle sweet Bella and wake her up. She was so damn cute, and I enjoyed listening to her gentle snoring all the way back to her house.

I carried her up the concrete steps, and luckily...the door was unlocked so I didn't have to kick it in. I took her upstairs and gently laid her down on her way-too-purple bed.

I wanted to lay next to her, but I knew that wouldn't be good. She was tired and needed to sleep, and if I felt her body beside me, the last thing I'd want to do is sleep.

But there was no way in hell I was going to leave her. I'd sit and watch her dream and then I'd sit with her after she woke up. I'd never leave her...period. Nothing and nobody could take me away.

I stood next to her bed and watched her for several minutes...admiring her beauty. As I gazed at her sweet face, I couldn't stop asking myself the same questions over and over.

_How the hell could she love a freak like me?_

_What could I ever do to deserve her?_

_Will I be able to protect her if one of those..._bloodsuckers_...comes around?_

I huffed and shook my head, pressing my fists against my temples. I couldn't believe I'd been thinking about_ vampires_ attacking Bella. I couldn't believe they were even real.

A _real _vampire - The ones that wore long, dark capes. Were they like Dracula...all pale and black haired with fucking huge ass fangs dripping with blood?

_Can't they just be killed by a wooden stake through the heart? Holy water? Sunlight? Why the fuck does something like me have to exist, then? Why?_

I felt a strange shiver crawl up my spine...and a burning like hot metal blades scraped against the surface of my flesh. I turned away from Bella's sleeping form and leaned my hands against the wall, bracing myself as I began to vibrate.

Everything I saw seemed to vibrate too, and my eyes strained to focus. My brain hurt. I had to close my eyes.

_Shit no I'm turning into a fucking dog again _

"_Fuck.." _I groaned and fell to my knees as all the muscles in my body contracted under my stretching skin.

The pain was so fucking unbearable, I couldn't open my eyes or unclench my jaw. I was going to fucking break all my perfect teeth. I was going to fucking die.

If I was going to die, I was going to go out looking at my sleeping angel. Despite the agony, I successfully opened my eyes.

Directly in front of me, taped to the wall, was a photo of me and Bella. We looked like pre-teens and I had a huge smile on my face. She was kissing my cheek, her arms around my shoulders.

I immediately felt the vibrations slowing and my muscles relaxing. My bones never snapped. I exhaled shakily and reached for the photo...ripping it from the wall as I fell to my stomach.

"_Shit..." _I huffed as I took in the feeling of complete relief that the pain was subsiding.

I slowly lifted my face from the floor and held the photo up. I turned my head and saw several more photos stuck to the wall.

I managed to rise to my feet and I scanned over the dozens of pictures of _me _all over her wall. I smiled and traced my fingers over each one of them.

Bella moaned and I hurriedly re-taped the photo in my hand back to the wall and spun around. Her eyes were closed. I met her side and kneeled, taking her hand in mine and caressing it with my lips.

"Are you awake?" I said gently.

She groaned and nodded, but was snoring again just seconds later. I laughed and hung my head.

_Guess I'll go see about that tea_

I thought maybe she'd be awake by the time I returned with it. I kissed her hand one more time before I left the room.

Downstairs in the kitchen, I was rummaging through every cabinet looking for the damn tea.

"Ah ha! There you are." I reached behind a jar of peanut butter and grabbed the small box that read "Chamomile Tea". I opened the box and half the tea bags spilled out onto the floor. "Damnit, Jake." I cursed myself as I bent over and scooped them up with my hand in one swooping movement.

When I walked over to the trash and threw the handful in, I noticed a piece of paper sitting on the kitchen table. I picked it up and was surprised to see my name.

_Jacob or Bella,_

_If you get this, Sam wants Jacob back at his place immediately. He seemed serious, so I wouldn't keep him waiting too long. Bells, I need to talk to you tonight...so be sure you're here when I get home. _

_-Charlie_

"Sam can go fuck himself..." I grumbled as I searched through the lower cabinets for a teapot.

After a couple minutes, I had to accept that I wasn't going to find one.

I snatched up a small saucepan and filled it with filtered water from the fridge. My angel wasn't going to consume that shit from the tap. I set the pot on the stove and stared at all the buttons and knobs. I'd never cooked anything...or used a stove before.

"Hmm..."

_How the hell do I turn this thing on?_

After three tries, I got the right burner to come on. I sighed and watched the water as I waited for the surface to roll. I decided it was never going to boil, so I thought I'd check on Bella real quick.

I ran up the stairs and entered her room seeing that she was still sleeping peacefully. My heart swelled and I walked over to her. Her cheek was barely warm under my lips.

She whimpered gently and squirmed.

"I hope you're dreaming about me." I whispered, closing my eyes and kissing her sweet parted lips before leaving her room once again.

When I returned to the kitchen, I was totally mortified. Water was erupting from the small pot on the stove and flowing down onto the floor.

"Oh shit!" I ran around the kitchen searching for something to clean it up. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit shit shit!" I found a hand towel and threw it on the stove. The boiling water exploded from the pot in all directions.

_Turn it off you fucking idiot !_

I reached over the angry pot of bubbling liquid and turned the dial to the left. The water seemed to have aimed straight for me as it leapt out of the pot and sizzled against my flesh.

"Ow!" I held my arm with my hand and jumped up and down growling in fucking pain. Thankfully, the pain didn't last long, and I got the mess cleaned up so Bella and her dad wouldn't hate me for making a mess of their house.

Luckily, they kept a few teacups in the house. I didn't want to serve her tea in a coffee mug. I wanted everything to be perfect for Bella. I carefully walked back upstairs, concentrating on keeping the tea inside of the tiny cup...which my big hands made extremely difficult.

I'd spent a pretty good amount of time deciding which was the prettiest teacup for my Bella. Unfortunately, none of them were pretty enough for her. They were damn ugly in my opinion. But one had tiny strawberries rimming the edge...and it reminded me of her delicious scent. It was ultimately the one I had to choose.

Slowly, I passed by her sleeping figure and placed the teacup next to her bed on the nightstand. I beamed from ear to ear, feeling absolutely proud of myself for accomplishing the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life; Making a cup of tea for my girl.

"Bella...Bella, sweetie. Wake up." I whispered against her ear, taking it between my lips a couple times. "MMmmm, aw baby please wake up. I miss your voice." Then I heard it...her sweet voice spoke softly.

"Edward..."

My heart stopped beating. Did she just say Edward? What the fuck? I stood up and looked down at her. I didn't know if I felt angry or hurt. She was dreaming about her fucking boyfriend? Er um..ex-boyfriend?

I closed my eyes and pulled my hair, attempting to control my breathing...but it was nearly impossible from the twisting knife that was penetrating slowly through my chest.

I felt dizzy with rage...but not toward Bella. Toward...toward that mother fucking son of a bitch! He was in her dreams...not me. She wanted him...not me. She was going to go to him...and leave me.

My arms were tight to my chest...and I stumbled backward...fighting the burn in my spine and behind my eyes.

_Don't leave me Bells...please don't leave me_

All I could think about were his disgusting fingers touching my girl. His pasty, abnormally white skin sparkling against her ivory perfection.

_Wait why is he sparkling?_

"Jacob...no...uhhh..." Bella's mumbles and moans distracted me from my thoughts, and I rushed to her side. "Edward...d-don't...Jacob no!" Her eyes shot open and tears were immediately pouring from them.

"Bella...shhh...it's alright. I'm here I'm here." I climbed onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her quivering body. She was sweaty and she trembled against me. "It's just a bad dream...that's all. Shh." I caressed her face and began singing to her.

"Don't cry, you're not alone..."

"Oh Jacob..." She whimpered into my neck and began to sob.

"Don't cry tonight...my baby..."

"I dreamed that..." She was almost unintelligible with all her blubbering and her lips against my throat. "...that E-Edward...k-killed you!"

A small part of me was relieved that her dream wasn't something more..._intimate_...involving Edward. I sighed and relaxed into the bed with relief. He could kill me...but I'd be damned if he touched my girl.

As I sang the last word of the song, I realized she wasn't crying anymore. I sat up and looked down at her...giving her a gentle smile with my lips and eyes to reassure her that everything was okay. We were both together...and everything would be just fine.

"I'm not going to die, Bella."

My poor, sweet, precious darling Bella. She didn't need to fear anything. I would fucking rip apart any person or creature that dared harm me or my angel.

Her eyes left mine and her lips trembled.

"It was just a dream." I told her as I touched my thumb to her pink lips and slowly pulled her bottom one down, revealing her teeth. " That's all it was, honey. A bad dream."

* * *

**Bella's POV**

_That's all it was. A bad dream. Oh god, Jake..._

His warm thumb parted my lips and I closed my eyes at his soothing touch. I let my tongue slip out and wet the tip of his thumb before I closed my lips around it.

I heard Jacob take in a sharp breath but I didn't open my eyes. I sucked his large thumb gently before releasing it and licking it a couple more times. He groaned and I opened my eyes to see him staring at his glistening finger still against my wet lips. His eyes were dark and clouded with desire as he breathed heavily.

"B-Bella..." In an instant, his soft, cushiony lips were all but eating mine...roughly and desperately sucking, biting and pulling.

I took his hand that had a hold of my waist and lead it up my shirt, placing it over my heaving breast(that was unfortunately confined by my bra).

Oh yes, I needed this. I needed him. This was the only thing that could make me forget that terrible nightmare. It had felt so real. Edward had..._killed..._my Jacob. He had sunk his teeth into my precious wolf and watched him slowly fade...smirking as he watched Jake take his last breath.

_Why would Edward do it? How could he hurt me like that? _

I shuddered and tried to remind myself it was only a dream.

Jacob released me suddenly and leaned back.

"I...I'm sorry Bella." He panted.

"Jacob, It's not you." I held his face and kissed his lips again. "I was just thinking about my nightmare. I promise it's not you. Oh Jake." I kissed his lips, then trailed wet kisses across his golden face.

He moaned and leaned into my kisses, closing his eyes and searching under my shirt for my breasts again.

"I...I made you some tea." He groaned as I licked his scrumptious face.

"What?" I leaned back to look at him, his eyes were heavy.

He made me tea? How stinking cute!

"You made me..._tea_?" I giggled. "That's so sweet!"

"Yeah..." Jacob's cheeks turned slightly pink under his dark skin. "I'm so glad you weren't awake to watch the ugly match go down..."

"Match? You got in a fight with tea, Jake?" I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

"It was bad..." He hung his head in shame.

"As long as you didn't burn the house down. But, I do smell something burning." I sat there looking at my embarrassed sexy beast looking all timid...and it was freaking sexy as hell and SO cute. "Hey..." I gripped his chin with my hand and forced his face up. Our eyes met and I gave him a smile. "You're the best...do you know that?"

He looked at me with a grin in his eyes. Then the corner of his lips curled and he sighed, turning from me and taking a cup of tea from my side table.

"Thank you kindly, sir." I took the luke-warm tea and sipped it, making a rude slurping noise.

"Anything for you, my lady." He had a serious look in his eyes, but I wanted to laugh so badly at the ridiculously formal manner in which we'd spoken to each other. It reminded me of Edward, but it was so much hotter coming from Jacob's lips.

Okay, I couldn't hold it any longer. I started laughing and nearly spit tea all over Jacob's white shirt. A second later, he erupted into his own and I leaned in to kiss his smiling lips...but ended up pecking his teeth instead. That was okay with me.

He took my head gently in his warm hands, tangling his fingers in my hair. His beautiful, dark chocolate eyes scanned over my face as I took another sip of the surprisingly yummy tea.

"I'll love you until the day I die, you know that, right?" His deep voice purred.

I choked. Jacob couldn't die. It reminded me of my nightmare all over again.

I tried to replay his earlier words in my head when he assured me he was fine...we were together...and it was only a nightmare.

But Jacob's comforting words wouldn't put out the aching flame in my heart and the fear of losing him.

My hands shook and tea flung over the sides of my cup.

"Bella?" Jacob's worried voice was loud and he took the cup from me. "What's wrong?"

_Why did I dream of Edward sinking his teeth into Jake? What if it wasn't just a dream...but an omen? I had to tell Jacob. I had to warn him._

"I have to tell you something, Jacob." I looked at him with sad eyes. I didn't know how to tell him I'd been dating a vampire and almost married him. That somewhere deep inside of me, I still cared about him. Okay, maybe I wouldn't tell him that little bit.

His dark, deep, magical eyes stared straight into my soul as I tried to come up with the best way to spill the beans to Jake. Then his lips parted and his eyes began to widen. He suddenly looked terrified.

"No..no Bella, don't." He started to breathe funny, to hyperventilate. His eyes went black, but not from need or lust. It was fear. "Don't say it...p-please." He backed away from me, nearly tumbling out of bed...but he managed to find his footing.

I reached my hand out to him. I didn't want him to leave my side. "It...It's about Edward" I whispered. He let a few deep breaths out and closed his eyes, releasing a single tear that crawled down his precious cheek. My eyes widened at the realization of what he must think I meant. "Oh no...no no no, Jacob." I jumped off the bed and placed my hands on either side of his wet face. "I love you. I'm not going to leave you."

He lowered his forehead to mine and I felt a few of Jacob's hot tears sprinkle onto my face.

"Oh God, Bella..." He moaned and crushed me to him in an amazing bear-hug. "I have something to tell you, too." His voice wasn't strong. "But before I say it...please tell me what you were going to say about...E-Edward..."

"Okay, Jake." He finally released me from the tight embrace and I looked up into his beautiful, watery eyes. "But first..." I raised an eyebrow. "How do you know where I live?"

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was hard to write because it was originally _majorly ridiculousl_y long...so I had to shorten it. Jacob is so cute~ I love him! Don't worry about Leah...she might have something good coming to her. Sam and Jake talk in the next chapter...also, some J*B lovin as well. Please leave a review if you have time! **

**Wolfy Love-**

**-xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**


	28. Beneath The Surface

**NTYP Chapter 28**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

_**A/N: Scenes of a sexual nature in this chapter...**_

* * *

**I felt Sam's huge arms scoop my shivering, yet hot body from the ground, and I didn't give a shit that I was naked.**

**"Let's get you home and some clothes on you, beautiful." My body was slack in his arms...I did not want to feel a man...especially one whose body was so similar to Jacobs. I still couldn't believe he imprinted. "Leah, we love you despite what you probably think..._I _love you. The pack and I ...we will all help you get through this."**

**"They'll just make fun of me." I groaned and gave in to my needs, curling into his chest. I needed to hold someone...needed someone to hold me.**

**"They won't...I'll make sure of that."**

**"Sam?" I whispered. "Don't tell Jake..."**

* * *

**Leah's POV**

Sam carried me back to his house and left me in his bedroom to get some clothes on. Emily stayed with me and let me borrow a dress of hers. It was a comfortable, light green fabric that fell loosely down to my knees. I liked the noodle straps.

"Leah, I'm not a wolf...and half of the time I have no idea what's going on with anybody around here. I know it's none of my business, but I wish you'd tell me something. Sam won't tell me much..."

"What do you want to know?" I crossed my arms and tried to keep an expressionless face.

"I can tell you're seriously upset. I mean, you ran out of here so fast before I even had a chance to ask you what was wrong, and you can't fool everyone..."

"It's nothing, Em. Really. Don't worry about me."

"Ok I understand you probably hate me and rightfully so...but I can't help seeing you as a sister, Lee. We've gotten along so good lately...more so than I'd ever thought we would. I care about you, and I'm here for you if you need me."

I fought the ache in my heart that was worse than ever now. My guts were wrenching and my face finally twisted...I couldn't help it. My lids collapsed and before I even felt the burn, hot tears were flooding over my cheeks.

My heart swelled and screwed up simultaneously as I felt Emily's energy move closer to me. I never had a sister, and despite my sorrow, I found myself feeling beyond touched that she saw me in such a light. Then the words flowed from my mouth without my consent.

"I think I'm in love."

"Oh my gosh, Leah." She sounded shocked yet ecstatic that whoever this man I was in love with was most likely_ not _her fiance since I would have no reason to act like this was news for her. "It's not...then...I mean...who?" She hurried to me and grabbed my hands. I couldn't look into her eyes.

"I...I learned to accept you and Sam a while back." I tried to catch my breath. Emily nodded and gave me understanding eyes while she squeezed my hands. "It's...damnit I should just get over it and move on..." I couldn't hold it in any more. "Shit Em, It's Jake!"

"Leah..." She embraced me as I cried silently into her long, black hair.

"I need...to move away." I gasped between sobs. "I knew...I didn't belong...in La Push."

"Leah, aww baby, don't say that." She rubbed circles on my back.

"You'd be better, Sam would be free of me, and Jake..." I paused and opened my eyes, looking over Emily's shoulder at a photo of Jacob, Embry and Quil hanging on the wall.

Their large, sculpted bodies stood side by side, proud and erect. Their arms crossed and their faces serious. Serious but sexy...as if they were trying to intimidate or seduce the camera, rather.

The photo was taken almost a year ago...back when he thought I hated him. Back when I was pure bitch to him.

I pulled away from Emily and walked over to the picture. I wanted to smile because he was just so beautiful. But I couldn't. I felt new tears arise.

"Leah? I know his memory may never come back, but that shouldn't stop you from letting him know."

My eyes rounded and I inhaled deeply.

_Shut up, Emily. Just shut the fuck up! He imprinted. He loves someone else. Someone I could never measure up to...because I would never even begin to parallel Jacob's perfect little Bella. His imprint. Jacob's imprint. Oh god._

My face crumpled in my hands. "He imprinted." I barely whispered.

"What was that? Lee?" I sensed her coming closer. "Honey, what did you say?"

A switch flipped in my brain. "I said..." I whipped around suddenly, taking hold of Emily's weak arms and glaring into her scarred face that was mere centimeters from me. "The bitch is back."

* * *

**Bella's POV**

**He lowered his forehead to mine and I felt a few of Jacob's hot tears sprinkle onto my face.**

**"Oh God, Bella..." He moaned and crushed me to him in an amazing bear-hug. "I have something to tell you, too." His voice wasn't strong. "But before I say it...please tell me what you were going to say about...E-Edward..."**

**"Okay, Jake." He finally released me from the tight embrace and I looked up into his beautiful, watery eyes. "But first..." I raised an eyebrow. "How do you know where I live?"**

* * *

******Jacob's POV**

As I stared into Bella's eyes, I allowed her question to sink in. I hadn't even realized that I knew where she lived. I had walked down several roads to get here, without even a question as to how I'd find this place.

I knew the woods and their hidden pathways and shortcuts. I knew the roads that wove in and out of the forest through La Push...leading me to Forks and to Bella's little white house that I felt I'd always known.

"Jacob?" Her gentle hands caressed the surprised expression off my face. Her eyes were large, wide, interested...and unbearably beautiful. I was lost in them as usual and couldn't speak. Her brow creased and I felt her palm touch my forehead. "Are you alright, baby?" She pressed her body into mine.

"I don't know how...I...oh _Bella_." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, taking in the feeling of her hands that were so careful when they felt me. The air was filled with an aroma that was so alluring, It clouded my mind...it defeated my will...it overpowered me. I knew what it was. She was aroused. Her scent was stirring something inside...deep inside.

Something was fighting to get out...a monster...a beast fighting to escape...and it fucking hurt to my core. But I didn't want to free it. I only wanted Bella to see _me. _ Jacob. The man. Not the fucking gruesome, abominable wolf that lived within my human walls...within this cocoon that was nothing more than an entrapment that kept the real me locked away until something brought it to a temporary release.

My eyes were closed, but I felt her lips press into my jaw...causing my stupid erection to get bigger. Sweat trickled down my temples and my fingers locked into hooks. I shuddered when I thought about who I really was...and suddenly I felt so much like an animal, that I wondered if I even needed to phase to be a wolf.

_No! I'm a man. I am human, a fucking human! I won't be a slave to this...this fucking _thing_ living inside of me_

"Jacob...tell me what's the matter." Bella whispered sweetly into my ear as my mouth met her neck and I tasted her, trailing my tongue up to just under her ear. Her sweet flavor made my stomach twist with want. More. I needed more. "J-jake...mmmuhh." She went limp in my arms. "Wh...why are you shaking? What are you...ohh mmm...Jake... a-are you okay...?"

I gripped below her butt with one hand and lifted her leg, pressing her into me as I took her skin between my teeth and I just wanted to sink them in. I told myself I was fucking sick. How could I want to hurt her that way? Oh jesus...I moaned and sucked on her skin, still fighting the urge to bite.

I hadn't even realized we were moving until Bella gasped and we fell onto her bed with me on top of her. She yelled out my name and I felt her perfectness that was waiting for me between her legs. It smelled delicious...my mouth salivated and I ground myself into her. I reached down and hooked my fingers into the top of her jeans.

_No. I can't take her like this. I can't let our second time be like this_

I froze and slowly released some of her wet, reddened skin from my mouth's tight clutch. Despite the fact I hadn't bit her, my assault on my poor sweet Bella had left several marks on her neck from my violent kisses.

Overcome with guilt and disgust in myself, I refused to remove my face from her neck. I couldn't let her see my struggle...how much I wanted to rip her clothes right off and attack her...shit no, wrong word. Ravage her. No, wrong word again. _Love_ her. I fucking loved her so much. Oh god I was shaking so hard.

"I'm here for you, just tell me..." She breathed heavily and squeezed me tightly in her arms, leaving soothing scratches on my back with her nails. "...tell me what you want." It was like she didn't even care that I'd probably caused her immense physical pain.

_I caused her pain, shit. I'm a fucking asshole. If I really imprinted on her...how could I do this to her? How could I have let myself hurt her like this? I love you Bella, I don't want to hurt you_

It's all I could think about. I needed her so fucking much...in all ways...and at that moment, I needed to love her physically to the point I was shaking...and I couldn't stop.

I was aware of her lovely voice still questioning me, but I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to feel. Feel her closeness and her small body underneath me. My heart hammered in my chest and nearly took my breath away and I wondered if it was the imprint making me feel it. _Crazy_ in love. Crazy needful of my angel's body.

My head hurt from the loud demands a large part of my brain was shouting at me, but I was not going to let the wolf win. I had to prove to myself I was in control. Jacob was in control.

I felt her lips on my ear, my neck, my cheek... and I accepted it...surrendering myself to her touch. I let her know I liked it by the noises I made. She gripped my hair and pulled my head up from her shoulder so she could kiss my lips.

A part of my heart that had been violently aching was immediately repaired as her pouty lips touched mine and I strained painfully to prevent my urge to take her. I wrapped my arms around her and held her firmly to me as I kissed her tender mouth.

I was so fucking hot and sweaty...and I realized my Bella was too. She was still asking me if I was okay between our lips...but my brain didn't want me to speak or something. My wolf had one goal...one drive...and it was determined to win.

I tried to be gentle with her tiny, fragile body...but it was so hard. I just wanted to hold her tighter...closer...for her to take me in again and never release my body. I knew what I needed so badly it was pure torture and so _hugely _obvious...but did she need it?

She tugged my hair, forcing my head back. "Jacob, do you know how long I went without hearing you say a word to me?" Her voice shook and her fingers tightened. "Please talk to me. You can tell me anything. We've always been able to share everything." She pulled my hair harder suddenly, eliciting a weak yell from me and I felt her warm tongue lick up my throat to my chin, causing me to throb painfully.

Why couldn't I talk? Why was I acting like an animal? Just grunting and groaning and moaning like a stupid fucking animal in heat. Somewhere in me I had to find the words...to speak to my angel and let her know the truth. I needed to tell her what Sam told me...about the imprint.

_No, wait. She was going to tell me about Edward...fuck me, Bella..._

_No, she has something important to say about that dickhead – oh god Bella I want to taste...you smell so good..._

_Fuuuck..._

I concentrated on controlling the inner wolf that was scratching and clawing to get out. "Edward." I blurted out loud. Her tongue stopped licking me but her hand didn't release my hair. My eyes were closed as I anticipated what was to come from her beautiful lips. I had to mentally tame the creature that was ready to rip my body apart at the mention of Edward's name.

Bella pushed me off of her roughly and jumped off the bed. She paced the bedroom in front of me, her fingers raking her hair nervously, and her heart was not beating at a pleasant rhythm. It still disturbed me that I could hear each beat so clearly.

"I don't know why, but I just feel like I need to warn you." She said worriedly.

"Warn me?" I sat up on her bed, completely breathless and still fighting my inner battle as I watched her pacing the room and biting her nails nervously. "Warn me about what, Bella?" I growled and felt a pang inside of me. Shit, something was wrong...something was after my Bella, I just knew it.

I shifted off of the bed and grabbed her around the stomach, holding her still so she couldn't walk anymore. "What's wrong? Are you in danger? Bella, you have to tell me so I can protect you. I won't let anything happen to you. Nobody can hurt you, I won't let it happen..."

"I don't want to talk about this right now!" She shouted. I choked on air when I felt her small but strong little hand grab me between the legs and I saw all white for a moment. My knees buckled and I had to use Bella as a crutch when I almost hit the floor. "I want you, I want you Jake. Please let me have you." She squeezed me again where I throbbed painfully and pushed my body hard enough to send me stumbling backward. She rammed me into her bedroom door so hard my head hit with a bang.

"Shit, Bella!"

"Jake..." She dropped to her knees and pushed my shirt up sloppily with her hands and I shuddered at the feeling of her wet tongue on my stomach. She took hold of the large bulge in my pants again while she continued washing my abs with her mouth. "I need you so bad right now." Her warm breath sent chills through my body. "Please let me show you..."

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I looked up at him as I played with his man parts. "What?" His lips formed the word, but no voice came out. He cleared his throat. "Show me what...?"

"I want to taste you." I gave it a rough squeeze. He took in a sharp breath through his teeth and his pupils disappeared.

My eyes never left his as I massaged him with my fingers. His eyes began to droop as I felt him hardening even more beneath my touch. His mouth dropped open slightly and he began to take in quick breaths.

"Bell..." He closed his eyes, and I watched his jaws clench. "Bell..ahh god..." His voice was like gravel, deep and drawn out into pleasured groans. He hung his head as I pleased him, his chin resting on his chest.

"I want you to feel good because of me, Jake." I kissed the fabric of his shorts and began moving my hand up and down as best I could with his clothes still on.

I moved my lips back to his stomach and his muscles tightened at the touch of my tongue. I stopped the motions with my hands and pulled at the button of his shorts, desperately trying to reach what I wanted.

"Wha...w-what the hell are you doing..." He reached down to grab my hand but I slapped it away.

"You'll see." I breathed. Finally, the stupid button came undone...and I then fumbled with the zipper. "Shit, Jake. Help me."

"Don't Bells..." His voice was strained. " I love you more than..."

"Then let me..." My fingers finally found the little metal pull, and I moved it down. "...let me feel you, Jacob."

He whimpered as I slid my hand inside, and I didn't have to search long before I found it...large, hot, wet, and pulsating for me.

My breaths shook as I nervously wrapped my fingers slowly around it. I couldn't believe how big it felt in my hand. I released it from the confinement of his jean shorts and noticed I didn't hear Jacob's heavy breathing anymore. I tightened my fingers and felt his strong pulse beating against my hand. He let out a moan and began breathing again, louder this time.

The glistening tip was so enticing, and I knew he would taste perfect. I didn't even ask his permission before I closed my eyes and licked once, tasting his delicious Jacob juice. It_ was_ delicious. As sweet and as destinctively Jacob as the rest of his perfection.

"Oh god..." He cried and threw his head back, hitting my bedroom door violently. I licked him again and looked up. His chest was heaving, his hands in his hair and he was whining. Those freaking unbelievable noises he was making encouraged me to continue. His face was flushed and so so beautiful.

I gave my tongue a rest and took him in both my hands. I didn't know what to do next, I'd never done this before...but I knew I wanted to please him...so I would try.

There was wet crawling down his length and over my hand, and I placed my thumb over the gushing hole. It was so hot and amazing to look at and feel. Every part of his body was so beautiful it was impossible to believe. I could feel my own wetness trickling.

I pressed down with my thumb slightly, and he whimpered with pleasure. I looked up at him again, his head was still rolled back against the door and his eyes were heavy. He was completely lost in pleasure and desire. I began moving up and down as fast as I was capable. The slapping noises and Jake's moans filled my ears, and I swelled for him.

He squeezed his eyes shut and looked like he was in pain, but I knew better. Jacob's moaning was constant, and only interrupted by his occasional gasps as I stroked and pulled and squeezed his hardened length. It felt as though lava was pouring from him as his natural lubrication flowed...helping my hand slide easily.

The door shook along with Jacob's trembling body and I tried to quicken my strokes. "Huuh-uuhhh." His breaths were becoming ragged as he groaned and then his hand was suddenly on mine. He stopped moaning but continued to pant as he wrapped his hand around mine, and moved with me.

"No, Jake...I want to do it." I spoke into his shirt.

He continued to grunt and breathe like crazy as I pumped him, his body trembling and his stomach contracting from the pleasure _I_ was giving him. I smiled as I watched him bracing himself against my door, his chest heaving, his teeth biting his bottom lip, his glazed eyes glancing down at my hands.

His shaking legs finally gave out and he slid down to the floor. "Bella..." He reached out and brushed my face with his trembling hand and his face twisted in pleasure. He couldn't keep his eyes open as I pumped him faster and faster. "Oh goddd..." He clenched his jaw and growled so deep I didn't even recognize the sound as him. It took me aback and I let go of him.

"Did I hurt you?"

"NO!" He grabbed himself and started stroking his erection the way I had, but faster. "N-no Bella, I..." His free hand reached toward me, but he was looking down with his eyes squeezed shut. I watched as his fingers stiffened and curled in front of my face, reaching for me. But then he released himself and pulled his clenched hand away from my face. His hands went into fists and his arms flexed. His piercing eyes shot open and bore straight through mine. I was so terrified for him I began to back away. "I'm.._I'm_ sorry, s_shhiit_...Bella don't fear me..._no_!" His growl was chilling. "Get the fuck _out_ of me!"

I watched in horror as Jacob's voice raised several octives and he began clawing at himself, screaming at something to get out of him. He jumped to his feet and had torn all the clothes from his body before I even saw it happen. I didn't know what the fuck I'd just witnessed.

"What..." My small voice wasn't audible above his frightening roars. "What...Jake...what's in you! Jake!" His body was blurring and I was afraid he was going to change right there. "Calm down, baby...just...breathe. Please, Jacob. Don't phase!" I stood up and held my hands out to him.

"Stay away from me." He barked and held his fists against his temples. I shook my head and backed away from him, hiding part of myself behind the side of my bed. "I don't want to hurt you." He turned to me and there were wet streaks on his face. "I'm...not _good_." He started to jerk violently.

_Oh god, Jake. Don't!_

He turned and darted out of my room so fast, leaving me and the torn remains of his clothes on my bedroom floor. It took me a moment to take in what had just happened. What in the world was wrong with him? I knew he didn't want to phase in front of me, and that's why he left. But what the hell was he so upset about...what was causing him to phase?

"Wait..." I whispered and my legs wobbled as I walked to my bedroom door. "W-wait, Jacob!" I shouted and flew down the stairs. I saw my front door was wide open and I ran out into the front yard. Looking in every direction, I still didn't see Jake. There was no nude man running down the road.

I ran to my backyard and he wasn't there either. Suddenly I heard howling, and I did recognize it as Jake. I ran for the trees behind my house and kept running. "Jacob!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, fighting through branches. "Jake! Please come back! Please!" I sobbed tearless and fell to my knees in the middle of the forest. I was too exhausted to look for a wolf that didn't want to be found.

"Jake." I moaned as I crunched leaves in my fists. "J-aake." I cried out weakly. "I love you...come back." I heard a stick break or something like that. I sat up fast and looked around. I didn't see anything but I heard it again. I heard the familiar rumbling sound from a wolf's chest, and I turned around slowly. My beautiful red-brown wolf stalked toward me, his head hanging low. My heavy, worried heart was relieved and a wide smile spread across my face.

When he reached me, our eyes met and he whimpered then nuzzled his large head against my face. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his nose. He licked my face with his warm tongue and I sighed.. It felt amazing and I couldn't stop smiling. He'd come back to me. He was alright. He was with me again...where he belonged.

"I love you Jacob." I held his large head in my hands and stared into his swirling, exquisite eyes. "You _are_ good. You are perfect. You're so beautiful." I pet his silky fur and felt his heart beating incredibly fast. I closed my eyes and hummed a melody I thought would keep him calm as I snuggled myself into his silkiness.

Suddenly his soft fur became smooth, warm skin under my touch, and Jacob was kissing my face. He lifted me in his huge arms and carried me back into the house. He laid me down on my bed and started picking twigs and leaves out of my hair.

"Where did you go?" I asked him.

"I was trying to..." He hesitated and then pulled another stick from my hair. "I hate who I am." He spoke through his teeth. "I want to change for you."

"But...I love who you are."

"I'm an animal."

"You're human!"

"I just start going fucking crazy trying to control it...but I...I _can't_. I'm so sorry, I try not to be aggressive, Bella."

"Only part of you is a wolf, and I love that part too."

"How could you..."

"Because it's you! I love everything about you." I reached up and trailed a finger from his forehead over his nose and lips, down to the dimple in his chin. "You're my wolf."

His eyes smiled, but he looked down and pursed his lips.

"I don't deserve you, Bells."

"You're wrong." I sat up on my elbows. "_I_ don't deserve _you_."

"I should be worrying about your safety instead of trying to make love to you." He mumbled under his breath. "You're scared about something."

"But...Jake...It's _you_ _I'm_ worried about." I looked up at him and I knew my eyes reflected fear.

"Me? Why the hell are you worried about me? I'm a mutant who heals really fucking fast..."

"I think Edward is going to try something, Jake."

"Try something? You mean like..."

"Like killing you!"

"Didn't he try that already?"

"No, Jacob."

"Is this about your dream?"

"He was trying to help you phase quicker so you wouldn't be in pain...and _you _were the one who tried to kill _him..."_

"He had his fucking hands on you! And he was talking about a ring, and how he was going to see you later, and...I know it's no excuse. I don't even know what happened..."

"You got angry, Jake. I didn't even know you cared then! I'm sorry I let him take me back to your house, I should've known better... but I was just so messed up and I wanted to make sure you were okay...and I didn't want you to be alone...I mean you did have Billy and all...but...and I just wanted to see you and...I wasn't thinking about how you'd react to a vampire and..."

"Vampire?" He interrupted me.

My gasp seemed to echo in the silent room and his dark eyes widened. I didn't know what to tell him. How was I going to explain that I was friends with a mortal enemy of his. I had been_ more_ than friends with a mortal enemy of his!

"What the hell did you say, Bella?" I flinched at the pain when he gripped my arm and pulled me to him, forcing me to look him straight in the eyes. He moved in close to my face. "Are you telling me you...you mean you were..." He searched my face and shook his head, his eyes held mixed emotions. "...I don't understand...you were with one of those_..._those_ things..._a fucking _vampire_...?" He winced at the last word.

All I could do was look down and nod my head. I didn't know why, but the fact I'd been with Edward made me feel ashamed. I felt like I had just confessed to a mortal sin and I deserved to be punished for it.

"I...I should've known. That sparkly pale-ass mother-fucker..."

Jacob's hands began to tighten around my arms and I squeezed my eyes from the pain. Was he aware of how hard he was holding me? I wanted to tell him to stop, but I also_ wanted_ the pain. I deserved _some _kind of punishment...and I definitely deserved his anger. He probably felt so betrayed. How could he love me now that he knew I'd been with the very thing he was created to protect me from?

He slowly pulled me closer to his trembling body, his fingers imprinting my flesh. I felt the heat of his breaths on my forehead and I began to whimper from the pain his fingers caused. He removed himself from the bed, pulling me up with him.

Then I felt the sting of blood flow back into my arms when his hands moved to my face. My eyes were still closed, but I felt his vibrating fingers slide down my cheeks that were covered in tears down to my neck. I wanted him to phase and rip my throat out.

"How could you love one of them, Bella?" He asked me in a tight voice.

I let more tears fall from my closed eyes. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

His hair tickled my face when his lips met my cheek and he growled. I let my head fall back so he had better access and I moaned weakly as his arms folded around me, bowing my body to his.

"Just do it, Jake." I felt his lips part against the waiting skin at my neck, and I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling...anticipating my punishment.

"Do what?" He breathed.

"Hurt me."

"I won't."

"Please"

"No!"

"I want you to!"

"I can't."

"I deserve it."

"No you don't."

"Jake."

"I love you."

He released me and walked to the window and looked out. I stood holding my hand over my neck where his hot saliva was still present. He shook his head and turned to look at me. We stared at each other for a long moment without saying a word. His eyes weren't wet like mine, though.

"Jacob. I know you don't understand. But, I fell in love with him a long time ago. Things are _so_ different now...trust me." His eyes tightened and his brow scrunched, then he looked down. "Aro said..."

"Who's Aro?" His head shot up and he glared at me.

"That's not important! Just listen, please. Aro said my blood sings to Edward...sort of like when wolves imprint..." His eyes widened and he gasped quietly. "...which makes me more desirable to him than any other human. It probably has some effect on me, too."

"It shouldn't!"

"I know it shouldn't! But there's nothing I can do about it."

"Could."

"There's nothing I _could_ do about it. But it's different now, Jacob. _So_ different."

"Why?"

"I don't know why! But my love for you is beyond anything I ever felt for Edward. I've loved you since the day I met you, and whether you remember me or not won't change it. I'll always love you. I don't even know how you could care about me when you don't even know me."

"I know you, Bella. I know you better than I know myself." His voice was low as he stared out the window.

"Edward still loves me, he does...and I can't shake this feeling that he's going to try and take me away from you. What if my dream is a sign that...that something bad is going to happen." My voice cracked. "I won't be able to stand it if you get hurt again. I'll just die!" I waited for him to say something, but he didn't make a sound. "He still loves me, Jake. He's probably planning how he's going to get me back this very minute."

He took in a sharp breath and then let it out slowly. His face softened as he turned to look at me helplessly and sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. "I wish you could understand how much I love you." He turned back to the window.

"Oh Jake, I do understand." I walked over to him and leaned my forehead against the back of his shoulder. "I know you love me..."

"Do you?" He turned to me and I felt like a small child looking up at his tall form. "Do you _really_ know how much?" His voice was deep and strong and so sure.

I stared up at him, my eyes round and surprised by how determined he was to make me understand. "I...I think so." I said, sort of confused.

He scooped me up in his arms and carried me over to the bed. He sat down on the end and held me in his lap. I wrapped my legs around him and crossed them behind his back. I looked up into his dark eyes that refused to meet mine. He looked so nervous. He knew I was right...he knew something bad was going to happen to him...or to me. His eyes gave it away.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Jake?" I asked him. He breathed out heavily and avoided eye contact. "Look at me, Jacob!" His eyes reluctantly met mine and he looked like he was hiding a terrible secret. His face was grave and he just looked at me like he was going to tell me somebody died.

"Don't get mad, okay?" His voice broke and his eyes became glossy. Get mad? I nodded to him and watched as his lips tried to form the words. "I think I...uh..._im-printed_." He said the word slow and winced when it was fully out.

"Imprinted?" My mouth hung open and my eyes darted back and forth between his.

"Yes." His eyes narrowed and peered straight through mine.

_No. _

_No!_

_I love you Jacob... it's not fair...not right! She could never love you as much as I do. I need you. You're all of me, everything. I can't live without your lips, your touch, your taste, your skin, your smell, your eyes, your hair, your smile, you. No...please no_

"Bella, wake up! Can you hear me? Oh god Bella, please say something. I'm so sorry..."

I opened my eyes to Jacob's face on my stomach and I was lying on my bed. What the hell?

"_Wha..__.what happened...?_"

"Bella! Oh thank you..." I could taste his tears as his wet lips kissed mine tenderly. "Y-you passed out. Bella...If you want to leave me, I'll completely understand. I won't blame you." His face dropped to my chest. My heart twisted. Leave him? _ He_ was the one who imprinted. And he still wanted _me_?

Even _I_ knew that a wolf couldn't survive without their imprint. I was not about to be caught in the middle of a love triangle involving an imprint! But, how was I going to let Jacob go? I reached up and touched his hair as he cried into my shirt.

"What do you expect me to do, Jake?" I asked in a strained voice. "I love you...but I can't be with you when you've imprinted on someone! I _do_ know what imprinting is! Is it Leah? Huh? Is that who? I saw the way she looked at you. It's not like you've seen a lot of girls lately besides the two of us!"

He lifted his head and turned his red, wet face to me and sniffled. "What the hell are you talking about? I don't care about Leah."

"Well that makes sense because you've known her forever! Who the hell else is there, Jake?"

"You."

"When did you have time to meet...wait..._what_? What do you mean?" I rolled out from under him, leaving him naked and kneeling on the floor next to my bed. "Don't play sick games, Jake! I know you can't imprint on me. You...you would've before now...I mean...that's how it's supposed to work...right? Then it can't be Leah either."

"I don't know how it works, Bella." He slowly rose from the floor. "But after Sam explained it to me, I know it happened. When I woke up in that smelly house, you were so beautiful and perfect. You don't know..."

"Stop! Just stop! I don't believe you!" My heart ached and tears streamed down my face.

"Bella, damnit listen to me!" He growled and took me in his arms, crushing me to his hard body. "I love you! Imprint or no imprint, I _love_ you, Bella. Fuck imprinting!" He stopped and took a few deep breaths. His voice softened. "Do you know what this means?" He kissed the top of my head. "I'm _so sorry_...but I'm yours forever...whether you want me or not."

Forever? No, it was too perfect. I shook my head. I didn't understand. I was so shocked and so confused and never ever expected to ever hear that I was Jake's imprint. But my heart swelled and I realized I believed him. I did. All the puzzle pieces fell into place at that moment. It all hit me at once and I smiled and sobbed into Jacob's hard chest. I felt so complete in his stronghold as I thought about everything that had happened in such a short amount of time. The fact I felt so protective of him, and desired him so, even more than I used to, and it had been so easy to tell Edward goodbye.

"I know you have the right to deny me...to tell me to get lost and never see you again. Just please..._please_ hear me out. I could make you happy, I could." He shook me gently and I felt a quiver in his chest. "I'm not going to let you feel trapped because of me. You can get out...you can leave if it's what you want." His voice shook as he lovingly stroked my hair with his large hands.

"But you know what Edward is..."

"Fuck Edward! None of that matters to me, Bella! It doesn't matter what you used to love...or even what you _still _love. There's nothing you could do to make me love you more or less." He lifted me off the ground and into his arms. I clung to him with everything I had as I soaked his shoulder with my tears. "I'm yours..." He whispered. "...my soul and my mind and my life...my body. It's all yours until my heart stops beating."

"Don't say that." I moaned and hit his chest weakly with my fist. He laughed airily and squashed my body between him and my bedroom window. "I won't let your heart stop beating." I promised him between sniffles. He smiled gently and slowly leaned in to kiss my lips. The heat was overwhelming between Jacob and the sun beating down on us through the glass.

"Do you want me, Bells?" His deep voice hummed against my lips and my mind went fuzzy. Oh god did I ever want him. "Don't leave me." His voice broke and I held his face in my hands, catching a burning tear with my fingertip as it escaped the corner of his eye.

His mouth caught mine and he immediately took control. I surrendered myself to him...letting Jacob devour me how he wanted as I tugged at my shirt, pulling it over my head. He pulled my bra down around my stomach, and leaned in, taking my nipple in his mouth. I whined as I felt him begin gently sucking my breast with his warm mouth causing my center to twitch.

"It's my turn to taste you, Bells..." He breathed against my breast, then carried me across the room, dropping me onto my bed. I bounced against the mattress once and giggled. Then I looked up and my breath caught as I took in his beautiful, copper body standing before me.

He got down on the hard floor on his knees and grabbed my legs, pulling me down to the end of the bed. I sat up and I knew the question he was asking me with his eyes. I nodded slowly. His adam's apple bobbed as he carefully unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down the length of my legs. He nervously eyed my white panties and exhaled shakily.

Jacob slowly spread my legs further and leaned in, bringing his nose so close. He inhaled deeply and his nails dug into my thighs.

I was too nervous to watch, so I leaned my head back against my shoulders and closed my eyes. "Please...t-touch me, Jake." I felt his nose press into the wet spot in the middle of my panties and I took in a sharp breath, unconsciously spreading my legs even further on my own. I heard a deep moan come from him as I felt his tongue, lips, and teeth on my center...massaging me beneath the thin fabric. I looked down just in time to see his teeth clamp down on the elastic against my hip. With a crazed growl, he tore the panties from my body and flung them across the room.

I was breathing so hard I was becoming light headed. I closed my eyes, then I felt something slippery and blazing hot enter me. "Oh my god...oh...god..._shit_..._JAKE_..." I slurred and screeched and moaned. I whimpered and grabbed his head, shoving his face into me. I looked down and couldn't believe how hott it was to see him eating me so desperately, lapping and swallowing my wetness that was just for him.

"NNnngghh...uhhhhh! JJuuhh-j-aaaake!" I rocked my hips against his face and he wrapped his huge arms around my back, pulling me further into his hungry mouth. I hugged his head as he continued to feast on me, and I instinctively tried to get closer to my source of pleasure, rocking my hips faster and faster against his hot mouth.

He gently sucked on my clit, then plunged his hot tongue deep into me. The flame slowly slid between my folds, tasting every part of me. His hot breath that puffed against my sensitive flesh was driving me insane, and I clawed his neck and pulled his hair and screamed his name as the powerful orgasm jolted through my body. I could hear him swallowing, _drinking_ me.

I let go of him and fell back against the bed, but he continued to clean me up. I was so numb and full of tingles, I couldn't even feel anything anymore. I closed my eyes and breathed...then I felt the side of the bed sink in when Jacob laid down beside me.

"You taste..._heavenly._" He said softly against my ear as he touched my sweaty breast with his gentle fingertips. He kissed the side of my mouth and sighed, trailing his fingers down my chest and ribs down to my stomach. I could smell myself on his swollen lips and if I wasn't so tired, I would've begged for a second round.

I smiled weakly and turned my body to him. I was too worn out from the incredible orgasm to open my eyes. A part of me felt bad that I hadn't given him an amazing release like I had experienced. I reached down and stroked his massive erection. He needed some relief, too.

"No." His body shook gently as he laughed quietly. I felt his warm arms pull me to him, and I rested my face against his hot chest. "Sleep, my sweet, sweet angel."

"I don't want to sleep...I want to feel you..."

"I'll be here when you wake up."

"I love you, Jake." I felt his arms tighten around me and he kissed my head.

"I...I can feel it, Bells." He whispered against my hair. "You are who I am. I don't ever want to find out what it feels to be without you."

"You'll never have to feel that again...I...pro-mise..." Within seconds, I was asleep in the sanctuary of Jacob's arms.

* * *

**Sam's POV**

Paul, Quil and I were running patrols. I didn't have to...I knew Paul and Quil had it covered, but I felt the need to run off some steam after all that had happened with Bella, Jake and then Leah. We weren't patrolling as often now that the battle was over and the only Vampire threat around were the Cullens...who weren't really a threat at all. Life was pretty boring for our kind when there were no Vamps to sniff out...but we had to continue patrols just in case. It was our reason for existence, afterall.

_It's getting late. Jacob's not coming back, Sam_

_He'll come back. He knows where he belongs_

_Why did you have to fuck with Bella like that? Jake's not all there, but you know what he's capable of. I bet he could take you down if he had to_

_Shut up, Quil...do you hear that? _ I demanded silence, and so we stood and listened through the trees.

"Leah! Leah, don't! If he imprinted, just let them be! Don't get in the way! Don't do this!" I heard Emily shrieking from the house from miles away.

_Go, Sam_

_Yeah, get outta here. Emily sounds pretty bad_

I bolted back toward the house and once I got to the backyard, I phased into my human form. I threw some shorts on and ran inside through the back door.

"What the hell's going on in here, Emily? Emily?" I followed her shrieking down the hallway into my bedroom. Emily was trying to pull Leah off of a chair she had scooted in front of my closet. Leah reached a little further and grabbed hold of a box I had hidden on the top shelf. Shit, I knew what I kept in there...but I didn't know anybody else knew about it. What would Leah want with a gun? "Leah, what the fuck are you doing? Put the box back, Lee." I spoke sternly but calmly.

She turned around and her eyes were on fire...yet tear streaks burned her russet cheeks.

I held a hand out toward her. "Please Leah, you want to put that box back..."

"No." Her face went blank as if she just didn't care about anything anymore. "I don't think I do." She spoke with no emotion as she reached inside and pulled out the gun.

I took a step closer and she held it to her temple. "No!" I shouted and started to move forward but kept myself firm, fighting the urge to tackle her off the chair. "Leah, please. Don't do this. Hand me the gun, honey..."

"Don't you fucking honey me!" She roared and her blazing eyes gushed more hot tears. I was aware of Emily whimpering behind me.

Leah's fingers moved and the loud click pierced my ears and my heart. No, she was going through with it. This wasn't just a cry for help. She really fucking needed help. I was scared if I moved any further that she'd pull the trigger. "Leave, Emily. Get out of here..." I whispered. She obeyed and rushed out the bedroom door behind me.

"I'm sorry, Lee. I'm so sorry for everything. I don't want you to end your life...please. I...I love you..." She shook her head and continued to cry with the metal against her temple. "I do love you and I can't be with you, but Jake...h-he didn't imprint. I know he didn't. H-he...he needs you, Lee."

Her hand shook and she looked me dead in the eyes. "I'm not going to use this to end _my_ life." She slowly removed it from her head and the tightness in my chest immediately loosened. "I'm going to use this..." She smirked and trailed a finger over the weapon's shiny length. "...on Bella."

"You're insane! You can't expect me to let you go over there and shoot Bella. You need help, Lee." I rushed to her and took the gun from her hand. I left the room and asked Emily to keep an eye on Leah while I hid the gun in the attic. It only took me a couple minutes, and when I came back, Leah was passed out on my bed with Emily sitting beside her.

"She fell asleep mumbling something about how Jake is hers." Emily shook her head and then glanced up at me. "What were you thinking telling her Jacob wants her. She said he imprinted. Is that true? If it is, do you know what you're stirring up?"

"More than what's already stirred up, Emily? I'm going to have a talk with that boy whenever the hell he decides to show up."

"You better not start anything, Sam. Please don't start anything. I love Bella. If Jacob wants to be with her, why can't you leave them alone?" She stood up and put her arms around me. "Talk to me..."

I sighed and embraced her. "The boys think Jacob imprinted."

"And...you don't?"

"I don't understand it, Em. How is that possible? How can I be an Alpha and not know how imprinting works."

"So...you _do_ think he imprinted?"

"I don't know!" I released her and held my head in my hands. "I don't know how or why, and honestly I'm at a loss here. If he really imprinted, then what...I need to speak with the elders."

"Sam, calm down."

"I'm sorry." I lowered my voice. "That's why I need to talk to Jacob. I have to figure out how this is possible, or I'm a fucking pathetic excuse for an Alpha."

"If Jacob's mind is different, isn't that reason enough to be able to imprint on Bella now? Maybe she wasn't his soul mate before...but is now. Doesn't that make sense? He's still Jacob somewhere deep inside...but at the same time, he _is_ a different person, Sam."

I couldn't argue with her. It made perfect sense. What had I done? I needed to talk to Jacob and Bella. I needed my honourable pack member back. I needed to apologize. I needed to make things right.

_I need to speak to Jacob right now_

"Emily, do you have Bella's number?"

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

A far off ringing noise woke me up, but it was loud and clear to my wolf senses. I looked down at my beautiful Bella sleeping soundly in my arms. I smiled and caressed her cheek before I decided I would go check on the noise I knew was a telephone.

I carefully slid my arm out from under her little body and shuffled out the door and down the stairs. I followed the ringing into the kitchen and yawned as I removed the phone from the hook on the wall.

"Yeah?"

"Jacob? You actually answered..."

"Who's this?"

"It's Sam. Listen, uh, Jake...I want to apologize for how I treated Bella." My fingers tightened around the phone and I heard a slight cracking sound. "It was uncalled for and..."

"You leave Bella alone. You leave _us_ alone, you got that?"

"Wait Jacob...remember Leah? She's going through a real hard time right now, and she's extremely destructive. I was thinking if you spoke to her..."

"I don't give a shit about Leah."

"Come on, Jake. Maybe if you had a heart to heart with her, you'd remember something."

"I doubt that. And a heart to heart with _her_? What am I supposed to fucking say to _her_?"

"She was going to go over there with a gun and shoot Bella for Christ's sake!"

"What the hell?"

"You would've probably been next, and then she'd have probably turned the gun on herself. I can't help her, nobody seems to be able to help her. I think you're the only person who can heal her..."

Fuck, why was I letting this prick get to me. As much as I didn't care about Leah, I couldn't let a woman hurt and not do anything about it. Not to mention she had the desire to kill my reason for living and I wanted to fucking know why.

"I'll talk to her." I cursed myself for agreeing.

"Thank you, Jacob. Come back soon. I need to talk to you...about Bella."

"What's there to talk about, Sam? _Sam_?"

I hung the phone up and looked toward the stairs. Hopefully this wouldn't take too long and I'd be back before Bella even realized I'd left. I still wasn't sure how to phase at will, since I seemed to only be able to do so under extreme emotional distress. I took a shirt and a pair of shorts from her dad's room that were severely too small for me, but I managed to squeeze into them.

I exited the kitchen through the back door and headed out into the darkening forest, taking the shortest route back to La Push.

* * *

_**A/N: I had trouble finding the time to finish this chapter, but I managed. Ahh, a lot's about to happen**_

_**please review!**_

_**-xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**_


	29. Just Breathe

**NTYP Chapter 29**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

**A/N: So sorry for the late update! Life has been crazy this month, and I was hoping for a longer chapter but I thought I'd just get this out there for now. Thanks to all of you beautiful readers and reviewers! I love you soo much!**

**-xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**

* * *

**"Thank you, Jacob. Come back soon. I need to talk to you...about Bella."**

**"What's there to talk about, Sam? _Sam_?"**

**I hung the phone up and looked toward the stairs. Hopefully this wouldn't take too long and I'd be back before Bella even realized I'd left. I still wasn't sure how to phase at will, since I seemed to only be able to do so under extreme emotional distress. I took a shirt and a pair of shorts from her dad's room that were severely too small for me, but I managed to squeeze into them.**

**I exited the kitchen through the back door and headed out into the darkening forest, taking the shortest route back to La Push.**

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

The call from Sam, I never would have expected. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to call me and ask for favors after what he did to Bella. But it was like I couldn't deny Sam the help he was asking...as much as I wished I could. So I reminded myself I was doing this for Leah. If she needed me, what kind of asshole would I be to let her destroy herself if I could help? I'd talk to her, but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say.

_Hey Leah, why the fuck do you wanna shoot my girl, huh? _

_Wait..._

_Are you like, my girlfriend that I don't know about...and so I really shouldn't be with Bella because that would seriously make me a heartless bastard?_

_No. Not happening. I should be with Bella...for the rest of my life...I couldn't imagine..._

_Please God don't make me have to face Leah if she...no, NO Leah CAN'T be my girlfriend_

_But if that were the case...someone would've probably told me about...us...if there was an us?_

_Uh hey Leah...I don't know what's gone on between me and you, but sorry...I'm in love with Bella and I don't want you..._

_She's my imprint! I can't help it! I don't want to help it! Fuck Leah...I'm really sorry_

_Shit! what the hell do I know? Not enough_

_This is fucking insane_

_Why the hell am I doing this again?_

_Right. She's destructive and murderous and suicidal and maybe I'm a fucking good person...and_

_and I want to help. But how? _

I managed to reach Sam's house before nightfall, but the moon was already revealing itself within the darkening blue sky.

I didn't even bother knocking, but just let myself in, scanning the dim-lit room looking for the son of a bitch. Someone was in the kitchen. I could sense she was female, but then I became aware of life down the hall in a far room. I made my way toward the sounds; their heartbeats, their breaths. Then he appeared in front of me, our chests nearly crashing.

My upper lip twitched and I raised my shoulders and head erect, making myself taller than him. I inhaled deeply and snarled at the man as he stared at me with what was probably a similar expression. If he wasn't my 'alpha', I would have taken him down right there.

"Jacob."

"Sam."

"Thank you for coming..."

"Just take me to her. Now."

He hesitated for a moment, then turned and I stalked close behind him down the dark hall. The veins in my neck pulsated, feeling as if they were going to explode from the strain of keeping my wolf at bay. Sam opened the door to his bedroom slowly with a sigh and walked in. I stood in the doorway and looked at the girl who I'd seen earlier; The one who gave me a sweet smile and told me she loved me and missed me.

She was trembling and sweating and curled up into a ball on his bed, moaning and whimpering. My face twisted with concern for her. She was very sick and I truly wanted to help her. I thought I smelled alcohol.

"Jake." Sam whispered, leaning closer to me as I stared at the wretch. "You're the only person she cares about right now. Help her."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do..."

"Love her." I looked at him in complete shock. What the fuck was he saying? "Please. For me."

"For you?" I gripped him by the arm and pulled him into the hall with brutal force. "I don't have to do a goddamn thing for you. And what is this about loving her? You're not telling me to go in there and...and make her feel all better by giving her a nice fuck and then..." I laughed but there was no humor in it. "Bye bye, sweetheart. I've got to get back to the girl I _really_ love. Oh you're a fucking _genius_...!"

"You don't know what the hell she's been through!"

"You don't know what the fuck _I've_ been through!" Our voices fought for authority.

"You don't know what _I_ put her through. When I imprinted on Emily..." His eyes became wet. It didn't hit one nerve. I had zero sympathy for this fool. "Jacob...I wish you could love her for me. To fix what I made her become."

"I don't need to fix anything for you..."

"Then do it for her."

"_What_ are you telling me to _do_?" I raised my voice but tried to keep it low. Leah was so far gone, she probably didn't even notice our presence just outside the room. I searched his face with anxious eyes, waiting for the answer. "_What_ is this really all about, Sam? Why am I here?"

"Just." He exhaled loudly and finally his shoulders slumped and he hung his head. "...all I'm asking is for you to talk to her."

"Why should I after what you did to Bella?"

"I was defending you!"

"Defending me _how_? You're trying to keep us apart! Is _this_ part of your scheme, too? You want me to hook up with that mess on your bed? What about Bella?"

"Jacob..."

"...why are you trying to take her from me? Why are you trying to do this to me." My nails dug into Sam's bicep as I fought the waves of painful tremors.

"I'm not, Jake. I was trying to protect you! Don't you think I've seen enough hurt around here? I can't make Leah better. I can't stop loving her. I can't be with her because I can't be without Emily. I hurt Emily because I still love Leah. But I'll never love anybody as much as I love Emily..."

"And I thought _I_ had problems..."

"You having amnesia was the best thing that could've happened to you. You had a clean slate. I wanted you to be strong and healthy and able to focus on your duties as part of the pack again...but that Bella...with her being in your life, you were never okay Jacob. You were _never_ okay. Bella has hurt you so many times, If only you knew."

"She wouldn't hurt me."

"When Edward came back, you were so bad off you would hardly eat anything. She flew right back into his arms and she didn't give a shit about you anymore! You stopped functioning. You were ready to kill yourself. She left you alone, Jacob. "

"She would never. Hurt. Me." I growled lowly, trembling with rage and confusion.

_Edward came back? What the hell are you talking about? _

"I told you about imprinting...do you think that...I mean it seems like you..." As he stumbled for words, I burned through him with eyes that hungered for something that I hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing yet; a kill. "...the boys thought...do you think maybe..." He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. " How do you truly feel about Isabella Swan? What is she to you? What do you feel right now?"

A different, foreign chill crept over my spine eerily as I stood stunned in place. His eyes remained tight when I knew mine had to be the complete opposite. When he said her name...Isabella Swan... all my fury was lost and my face immediately softened. I felt the blood slowing in my veins as my heart-beat changed its pace.

The beautiful name turned something inside of my mind. Sam and the space around him blurred and turned white...then I saw her form come into focus; centered. Suddenly it was as if I were viewing an old film as everything in the present disappeared in front of my eyes. Was I going crazy? Then I saw her.

_Bella_

She was so much younger. Much much younger...just a child. She was standing beside a happy looking man with a mustache, hiding behind his leg. I was completely oblivious to Sam as I focused intently on my vision, barely aware of the warm sensation filling my chest as my heart swelled.

A small grin took over me as I recalled how excited I was to meet her. She was the nicest, sweetest, prettiest thing I ever saw. The man with the mustache told her to say hi to me. I waited silently and patiently as she slowly stepped around the man and peeked up at me with the brownest doe eyes. "I'm Isabella..." She told me in her sweet, four year old chipmunk voice.

All I could do was smile at her graceful, innocent, beautiful fair face and long eyelashes that framed her amazing eyes. She was taking my hand in her tiny one just as the vision was abruptly ripped away from me. I gasped when I returned to reality and an obnoxious Sam shouting my name.

"JACOB!"

"What." I breathed and realized I was still gripping his arm when I smelled blood coming from the slits where my nails pierced.

"How do you feel about Isabella Swan?"

"What do you care?"

"Just tell me Jacob, so I can fucking apologize to you!"

"I don't need your apology..."

"The first time you phased after you woke up, I thought I felt it...the passion you held for Bella. It wasn't easy to read you considering most of your thoughts were focused on decapitating the Leech." He almost smiled but then his face went cross. "I thought I was reading too much into it, but when you phased today..."

"Wait...how do you know...?"

"Jared and Embry were on patrols. When their shift was over they returned here. They told me about you and Bella...what they saw...what they felt. What _you _felt."

"Oh."

"But I need to hear it from you, Jacob. I want to know what you think."

"Bella is mine." I took a step closer, bringing myself centimeters from his face until I knew he could taste the venom in my voice. "...and I am hers. For the rest of our lives. Nothing else matters. That's all you need to know." My jaw twitched as I suppressed the urge to pummel him in the face. Something about this guy inflamed me.

Sam looked at me with anguish in his eyes as we watched the other carefully, steam could've been rising from me for all I knew. My body still quivered with emotions, but I somehow held myself together and didn't phase. Maybe I was becoming stronger? Good, I was getting sick and tired of the random morphing shit. I started to breathe slower, finally feeling my inner self calming. I took my time unclenching my hand from his arm before I stepped toward the sound of Leah's whimpering.

"Please forgive me, Jacob. I won't keep you from Bella.

"You wouldn't have succeeded in that anyway..."

"But if she leaves you..."

"She won't." I turned to face him again.

"Bella needs you but it's different for her...she's human. You can't live without her...but she _can_ survive without you...and if I have to see you torn apart because of her again!"

"It won't happen! How many times do I have to fucking tell you..."

"Alright, Jacob, okay..." He placed a hand on my vibrating shoulder and it took everything in me not to tear it from his limb. "I'm so grateful that you answered my call and came back. You're like a brother to me, Jacob."

His hand slid off of me and I watched him cry for a few minutes. I finally felt the pang of compassion. For a moment I imagined being in his shoes and feeling guilt over ruining this girl Leah. But if it was his fault she was this way, shouldn't he be the one talking to her? How was I going to help? If he fucking loved Leah so much, why wasn't he the one who was trying to fix her? And what did he mean about wanting me to love her? Like I would actually be okay with it! As if Leah would be okay with it? And Bella...

I looked down and shook my head, sighing for his pathetic attempt at a solution. Then I recalled Sam's words; 'you're the only person she cares about right now.' But I thought Sam and Leah had a past...not _me_ and Leah. I was so freaking confused. I looked up when I heard Emily take hold of Sam's hand and lead him away from me.

"Sam wait." I called out. They stopped halfway down the hall and turned around. Sam looked at me with a face that looked much older than any of the other guys in the pack. "Is Leah...I mean...are we...?" It was difficult to ask him what Leah and I were. What kind of past did we have? I needed to know before I went in there.

A sad smile crossed his miserable face. "She loves you, Jacob." Then they left me by myself alone next to his open door. She loved me? It was my worst nightmare as I stood there contemplating what I was going to say to this girl who loved me.

It was the last thing I wanted to do...the last thing I was prepared for when I found myself looking down at Leah's broken appearance on the bed in front of me. "Jake." She moaned in a small, tortured voice. My soul grieved for her but I wanted nothing to do with her...with any of it. I frowned and ran a hand through my hair wondering what the fuck I was even doing there.

"Hey. Leah?" I nudged her shoulder. She continued to squeeze the pillow under her head with her eyes closed, seeming to ignore me. I sighed in aggravation that I apparently wasn't helping her in any way. She wasn't even aware that I was there. "I hope you know...I ran all the way from Forks just to talk to you."

"Jake." She whispered and opened her eyes, but they didn't meet mine. She looked straight out the bedroom door, her eyes were distant. "My Jake."

Her Jake? I watched her blank expression and she never blinked as she continued to stare past me. What the hell was wrong with this chick? Then a knife twisted in my stomach as my imagination started exploring. I could see myself with Leah, kissing her, loving her. I didn't like it, but I started to wonder...what if we were together before I lost my memory? What if she was my girlfriend? Well then what was Sam talking about? He obviously had had a relationship with her, too. I had to fucking know...it was driving me crazy. I felt absolutely paranoid. Would I ever not be confused?

"Leah." I grabbed her under the arms and lifted her into the air. "Wake up and look at me." I searched her eyes as I held her up, face-level to me. She looked completely wasted. I couldn't believe it. I smelled alcohol everywhere and it made my stomach turn. I dropped her back onto the bed and stormed out of there, barging into the living room where Sam was sitting on the sofa holding Emily.

"Why the fuck did you let her drink so much? How do you expect me to get through to her in her condition?" I shouted and threw an empty bottle of vodka at his head that I'd found next to the bed. He caught it before it hit his face.

"Look Jacob, she needed something to calm her..."

I could hear the sounds of vomiting from the bedroom and I shook my head. "Unbelievable..."

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I shivered. "Mmmm, Jake..." I squirmed and slid my arms across the bed searching for the warmth I so craved. I frowned when I didn't feel him beside me as I was expecting. I opened my eyes and huffed. It was still light outside, so I hadn't been sleeping too long.

_He said he'd be here when I woke up_

I wondered where in the world Jacob would've gone. Maybe there was an emergency with the pack or a member of his family called and he needed to go? All I could think about was his soothing voice telling me he would be there when I woke up. So why wasn't he? Despite the fact he wasn't there and I should've been upset...I couldn't be. I couldn't stop thinking about the amazing things we'd done earlier to each other's bodies. I moaned just thinking about how good it felt and how amazing Jacob tasted. Then I remembered he said that he did that magical ancient shapeshifter imprinting thing on me, and I absolutely beamed.

I sighed and sat up, flipping my hair out of my face and glanced around the room. He didn't leave me a note or anything. Maybe he was still there. "Jacob?" I called out...then rolled my eyes when I didn't get an answer. I slipped out of bed and fixed my bra. After using the bathroom, I pulled on some shorts and a tank top before going downstairs to search the house for Jacob. I called his name a dozen times, thoroughly checked the house and yard, then returned to my bedroom with a frown on my face. I didn't know whether to be worried or mad. It was wrong of him to disappear on me.

My breath caught when I saw something sparkling on my side table. I looked curiously around the room to see if someone was there, but there was no one. My window was open and the curtain was blowing from the breeze and I shivered. Feeling a bit frightened, I ran over and shut it quickly, flipping the locks closed and wishing Jacob was there more than ever.

In my peripheral vision, I saw the sparkling thing on my side table reflecting the minimal sunlight Washington allowed from my window. I was afraid to look at it because I knew it hadn't been there when I woke up. I swallowed my fear and decided I would go see what it was. As I stepped closer to it, I saw it was a ring. A very beautiful band that had diamonds traveling around it's entirety. The ring wasn't really my type, but I picked it up and slipped it on just for the hell of it. It fit surprisingly perfect and I tilted my hand to admire the glittering diamonds. Then I looked down at the note that rested on the table. It read-

**_I knew it would look good on you_**

My heart sank and did an uncomfortable flip. I knew who it was from. My stomach immediately felt queasy as I remembered when he said that awful thing in front of Jacob; 'My ring looked so good on you'. He had never given me a ring. He was trying to rile up my precious wolf. He was jealous that I loved Jacob and not him. Now he was giving me the ring he was referring to that crazy day on the rez.

Anger built in the pit of my stomach and I began to hyperventilate. I ripped the ring from my finger and stared down at it in my hand. I don't know why I was crying, but I felt the tears spilling from my eyes as I dropped the expensive metal to the floor.

"Bella."

I gasped at the sound of his voice behind me. Chill bumps covered every inch of my skin as I could smell his sweet scent.

"Edward." I whispered.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

When I came back to the bedroom with a glass of water, Leah was on all fours on the floor, puking her guts out. I shut the door, then went to her side and knelt down. I grabbed the blanket from the bed and wiped the vomit from her mouth and chin. I carefully lifted her off the floor and placed her on the white sheets of the bed. She moaned and her face scrunched in discomfort.

"Tell me what's wrong, Leah." I picked up the glass of water I'd left on the floor and sat down on the bed next to her. "Why do you want to hurt Bella?" I tried to hide the anger in my voice, but I couldn't. A part of me felt sorry for her but another part of me wanted to rip her to shreds. I placed the glass at her lips and she sipped, but most of the water ran down her cheeks and her neck.

When I was sure she had drank enough, I set the glass down on the dresser next to the bed. Leah watched me closely and her face relaxed as she seemed to become aware of something. Her dark eyes widened slightly and peered straight into mine. I gazed back at her with concern.

"Jacob?" A small smile crept upon her lips and she held out her arm to me. I leaned in to see what she wanted and her hand gently stroked my cheek. I shuddered at the strange feeling of her skin that was hot compared to Bella's more comfortable temperature. "Is it really you?"

"Yes." I nodded and took her hand from my face. "I'm here." I was holding her hand but it was sort of uncomfortable knowing she loved me...but I didn't feel the same for her. I thought about it for a few moments before I decided I should ask her again. "Why do you want to kill Bella?" I looked her dead in the eyes.

"Jacob?" She brought her fingertips to my lips and I closed my eyes, wondering what in the world she was thinking.

"Leah, I don't think..." The incredible strength within her small, slender body took me by surprise as she forcibly kissed my mouth. I found myself on my back against the bed, trapped beneath her as she clamped her strong thighs around mine. She held me down by my shoulders and sucked and bit my lips painfully rough. I was so shocked by what was happening, I was froze stiff. The smell of alcohol filled my nostrils and I groaned.

I did not kiss her back, but pursed my lips tightly while she made noises of irritance that I wouldn't grant her entrance. Her strength, though she was intoxicated, was amazing for a woman. I was barely able to turn my face away from her ravenous mouth for a moment and caught a glimpse of her tattoo and remembered.

_She's like me_

Her tan body kept me pinned to the bed as she yanked my shorts open and growled wildly, biting my chest through my shirt. I gasped in pain. She was out of control and fucking biting me! I wondered why Sam, with his wolf ears, wasn't coming to fucking save me...I guessed this was what he was hoping would happen. She lifted herself. "Jake, I can't believe I'm doing this to you!" She shouted drunkenly as she pressed into my chest with her palm and used her other hand to grab what belonged to Bella.

_She may be like me, but I'm stronger_

Leah yelped and in an instant, I had her pinned beneath me on the bed.

"Yes, Jake, yes!" I felt her hot hand between my legs and I involuntarily growled...more from shock than pleasure. "Why aren't you hard for me, Jake?" She started squeezing me with both her hands.

Suddenly, a painful tugging sensation ripped through my chest and I cried out in agony, collapsing on top of her. I clutched at my chest and tried to breathe, praying for the pain to subside. "Because...I don't...belong to you." I forced out, and though I felt like I was having some sort of heart attack, I ripped her hand away and rolled off the bed onto the hard floor.

"You need me. Jacob needs me..." She slurred and continued mumbling shit.

"You need something...but it's not me." I moaned and crushed my chest with my arm and fist, straining from the heartache that refused to relent. Thoughts of my Bella rushed through my head in a series of a million flashes. Her beautiful, fair skin, innocent face, and coco hair. The images made the pain worse but I couldn't will them away. Tears ran down my face as the pain elevated when I tried to breathe.

"Ohh Jaake..." Leah whined from the bed as I fought in torture on the floor below her. "It's that bitch who makes you hurt...but I won't hurt you...come'ere n screw me and you'll feel so much fucking better..." She begged.

My mind was in a fog...and I knew I was close to blacking out. I needed Bella...that's what my body was telling me. The pain had begun when Leah started to fondle me and my body wanted no part...hell, my mind wanted no part. Was this some kind of pull the imprint had on me? I was so in love with Bella and I would never stray from her. I didn't need all of this shit to protect what we shared. I hated imprinting more than ever at that moment and I wanted to fucking rip Leah's vocal chords from her throat.

Just then, the door swung open and I shakily turned my head and saw a blurry silhouette coming towards me. I could barely see Sam through my wet eyes as he squatted next to me and placed something at my nose.

"Breathe in." Was all he demanded in his deep voice and I was desperate for relief so I obeyed. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes and concentrating on not passing out from the violence wracking my body. Once the first hit of Bella's scent struck me, a wave of pleasure washed over my entire body and I whimpered in relief. "That's it, Jacob. Keep breathing." He shoved whatever it was...some kind of fabric...harder into my face and I inhaled through my nostrils _and_ mouth this time, unable to keep the moan from escaping me each time the wave of relief hit me. The indescribable pain in my chest was quickly fading. "Breathe..." was the last thing I heard.


	30. Your Heart Becomes My Heartbeat

**NTYP Chapter 30**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

**A/N: Edward is in this chapter! I know, I know...I'm sorry! But since so many of you have begged me to remove him from the story, it's a very short scene with him (well short enough I hope). DonttHatteMe! )**

**-xoxodonttgettmeupsettxoxo**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

The ring wasn't really my type, but I picked it up and slipped it on just for the hell of it. It fit surprisingly perfect and I tilted my hand to admire the glittering diamonds. Then I looked down at the note that rested on the table. It read-

**_I knew it would look good on you_**

My heart sank and did an uncomfortable flip. I knew who it was from. My stomach immediately felt queasy as I remembered when he said that awful thing in front of Jacob; 'My ring looked so good on you'. He had never given me a ring. He was trying to rile up my precious wolf. He was jealous that I loved Jacob and not him. Now he was giving me the ring he was referring to that crazy day on the rez.

Anger built in the pit of my stomach and I began to hyperventilate. I ripped the ring from my finger and stared down at it in my hand. I didn't know why I was crying, but I felt the tears spilling from my eyes as I dropped the expensive metal to the floor.

"Bella."

I gasped at the sound of his voice behind me. Chill bumps covered every inch of my skin as I could smell his sweet scent.

"Edward." I whispered and turned around slowly. I took in a sharp breath at the sight of my rigid ex-boyfriend standing only a couple feet from me. His eyes were glowing even more gold than I remembered them. He frowned and took a step closer to me...so close I could feel the coolness of his breath. Then he bent down and took the rejected ring in his frozen hand. I could feel my chest rising and falling hard as he stood and returned his gaze to mine.

"I was in Norway when I saw this." He held it up and studied the shimmering piece of jewelry that mimicked Edward's own sparkling surface in the sunlight. "Thought maybe you'd like it, since you wouldn't accept my mother's ring."

"It was..." I took in a deep breath and gulped. "...um...ugly." I twiddled my fingers and frowned. "S-sorry..." Ok so maybe it was that hideous oval thing he called an engagement ring that he was referring to that day on the rez.

"Hmm." His brow furrowed and he nodded a couple times. "Don't worry..." His amber eyes met mine again and I watched his mouth turn into an uneven grin. "Alice has it in safe keeping. Doubt I could get it back from her even if I wanted to."

"Good." I said with a nod and placed a hand over my aching stomach. Where the hell was Jacob? I was not comfortable being in the same room with a guy I had a terrible nightmare about just earlier. It haunted my every waking thought and having him standing so close to me caused an impossible feeling in the pit of my stomach. A very bad feeling.

"Hmm..." He looked at me as he usually did; like I was something to eat. His cool breath roamed along my cheek and I turned my head and blinked my eyes fast, hating the cool sensation.

"Bella..." He breathed against my temple. "You smell..._revolting_."

His icy hand took hold of mine and he held my ring finger as if he were going to slip the sparkly band on. I curled my fingers quickly and pulled back to remove his face that was way too close for comfort.

"W-why were you in Norway?" I blurted out, trying to distract him from whatever he was doing.

"I felt the need to get away after you...left me." He said solemnly. "I couldn't stay out of town for long. I wanted to see you."

"So..." I rubbed my arms with my hands unconsciously warming myself and rolled my eyes. "What's the ring all about, Edward?" I just wanted to tell him to get lost. Why couldn't I just tell him to go the hell away and never talk to me again? I was in love with a wolf. Vampires were my new enemies, as weird as it seemed to me. I couldn't be friends with them anymore. Not even the nice ones. It would just be...weird. I had to make my goodbye official.

He played with it in his hands before slipping it onto his pinky. His glowing eyes tightened and his forehead scrunched. "I love you, Isabella Marie Swan." He whispered. "You belong with me."

"Ed, listen. I care about you, I do. Maybe I still love you, even." I walked to him and clutched his hands in mine. "But not the way you love me. You can smell him, can't you? You can smell him on me. You know what has happened here."

"But I want you, Bella. I need you in my life. I want you to have this ring..."

"No no..I can't take the ring. I don't want it."

"Just think of it as a token of my eternal love for you..."

"Please, don't." I closed my eyes. "He...he's taken all of me." I wiped my wet face and took hold of his dead-cold hands again. "I've given all of myself to him. Edward I...I belong to Jacob Black, now." From the look in his eyes, I knew he would have been shedding tears if it were at all possible. "When I ...when I told you goodbye...I really meant it, Edward." My voice was strained. I hated hurting him, even after all the pain he'd caused me in the past, I still couldn't stand to hurt him. But I knew it had to be done. "Jacob imprinted on me."

"I know."

Wait, what the hell? Edward knew? A million questions smothered my mind and I was suddenly feeling incredible anger. How long had Edward known? How dare he know before I did?

"What do you mean you know?" My voice and emotions were rising and I shoved his chest. "How long have you known about it, Edward?" He grabbed my arms to prevent me from hitting him again.

"When I took you to his house on the reservation, his thoughts made it apparent, Bella." His stern voice became the gentle one I was used to again as he stared into my watering eyes. "I suspected he imprinted, so I said those things to you out of my own curiosity. I know I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry."

"You wanted to see how he'd react? You upset him on purpose? I knew it. I knew it!" I screamed and spit in his face. "Get out, Edward! Get out of my room! Get out of my house!"

"Bella, please. I said I'm sorry." He dabbed his face with his shirt. "I was only curious to see how a wolf who has imprinted would react to my advances on his girl. Believe me when I tell you that I meant no harm. No long term harm, anyway."

I was so furious. My face was burning with heat and my eyes burned with rage...no longer tears. "I thought you were good, once. I really did. How could I have been so stupid!" I shrieked and picked up my side-table lamp, hitting him across the face with it. It broke against his porcelain jaw and his face didn't move an inch. My hand released the lamp to the floor and I stepped backward. I turned and ran out of my bedroom as fast as my legs allowed, only to face Edward waiting for me at the top of the staircase. "Get out of my way!"

"Bella, listen to me for just a moment." He spoke evenly as he crept toward me. I backed away from him, silently begging Jacob to come for me. "You don't have to take my ring, but I do have to take you."

I shook my head and crouched down, looking at him in horror...knowing all too well that I could never outrun him. What was he going to do with me? My heart pounded in my chest and I finally heard myself squeak. "E-Eddie!" I cried to him. "Don't!"

"Bella." He lifted me in his cold arms and held me close to him. "Do not be afraid of me. Once again, I'm not kidnapping you." His voice was light with humor. "I wish you would trust me."

"Edward..." I sniffed and wiped my eyes.

"I won't take you unless you accede."

"Edward, I had a bad dream and you were in it." I gazed into his gold eyes that were creased at the corners.

"What?"

"You...you came to the reservation again, crossing into the wolves' territory."

"I should probably stop doing that." He smirked.

"Cut it out, Edward! This is serious." I groaned.

"Continue..." He pursed his thin lips, creating lines on either side of his mouth.

"Jacob and I were...doing things." I heard a deep growl come from the vampire's chest, but I ignored it. "Anyway, you found us getting-it-on and you were obviously pissed as heck. One thing led to another, there was shouting, things breaking..." I sighed and ran a hand nervously through my hair. Edward had begun carrying me down the stairs, but I was too enveloped in telling the story to notice. "You grabbed Jacob's throat, and he hit you in the face. You shoved him into his bedroom wall, so then he phased and..."

"Mmm-hmm" He nodded as he placed me on the sofa. "Go on."

"I don't remember everything, but I do know that your fangs ended up in my wolf's throat!" My voice was heightened as I recalled the fear that rushed through me in my dream. It had felt so real when I watched Jacob fall to the ground, screaming in pain as he changed back into the gorgeousness of his young man's body.

"First of all, I don't have fangs. Second, you know I wouldn't..."

"No I don't! How would I know you wouldn't try to kill him, Edward? How do I know that you won't hurt him to be with me? You know I can't be with you. I'm not going to marry you." I held my face in my hands, demanding the tears to go away but a couple managed to escape.

"I know, Bella. But I had to come back and see you... just to make sure."

"Make sure of what?" I looked back up at him and felt a salty tear crawl into my mouth.

"I know Jacob imprinted on you, but that doesn't mean you have to go along with it." He shook his head as he spoke with gentleness. "You were mine first, and so that must mean _something_. Doesn't it?" He searched my eyes for the answer.

"No, Edward." I touched his cheek with my wet hand and I could almost feel the liquid crystallize at his temperature. "I was Jacob's, first." As he gazed into my eyes, his face lost all sign of hope and I felt the gust of air blow around me. He was gone. I had admitted to him that Jacob had stolen my heart before I had ever met Edward.

Even after Edward and I had begun a relationship, a part of me had always belonged to Jacob Black. A bigger part of me. The only question I still couldn't answer was why it had taken me so long to realize it. So much pain and unnecessary drama had gone down between my best friend and me. Maybe I was the dumbest, slowest girl on the planet...but I had Jacob now and that was all that mattered. He was mine and I was his...and absolutely nobody was going to take him from me. Amnesia aside...he would still always be my Jacob.

_Some people have to learn the hard way. I guess I'm the kind of girl who has to find out for myself_

I crossed my arms over my chest and grasped a small twirl of my hair, twisting it around my fingers. I slowly found each step of the staircase with my bare feet and let my remaining tears fall. I missed Jacob. I hugged my chest and tugged at my curl, protecting the muscle in my body that beat and ached for one man. I missed him so much, and I didn't know where he'd gone to. I wanted to follow him. If only I had senses like the damn wolves, I could sniff him out. I could follow him to the ends of the earth.

As I dragged my feet back to my bedroom, I was hit by the orange glow of the tiring sun and I inhaled, taking in the comforting glow. Only, it wasn't warm enough. Not the kind of heat I longed to wrap around me. I could almost feel how exhausted the glowing orb was, as I felt the same. Maybe it was the lack of my beautiful, brown wolf-man or the fact I had just broke my ex's heart that was making me feel sluggish.

I walked to the window, pressing my nose against the glass and taking in the beautiful twilight glow as the sun began to hide and the moon was gloriously adopting it's place in the darkening blue sky. I heard the incredible sound of an animal's howl, and my eyes lit up as I touched the glass with my fingertips, hoping to see my red-brown wolf trotting back to me out of the forest.

But he didn't show. So it wasn't a wolf, or at least _my_ wolf. Maybe it was a lonely creature like myself, crying out for it's mate...begging to steal them away from the loneliness. Yes, I was alone...and my dad would be coming home in just a few hours. I didn't want to deal with him. My heart fought to beat regularly, and my chest tightened. Could Jacob feel me when I thought about him? Could he feel the tearing in my heart as it separated and refused to fuse back together until he was with me again? I had no more tears left as I sank down to the floor and sobbed into my knees. "Jacob..." I cried quietly. "Where did you go?"

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

**Once the first hit of Bella's scent struck me, a wave of pleasure washed over my entire body and I whimpered in relief. "That's it, Jacob. Keep breathing." He shoved whatever it was...some kind of fabric...harder into my face and I inhaled through my nostrils _and_ mouth this time, unable to keep the moan from escaping me each time the wave of relief hit me. The indescribable pain in my chest was quickly fading. "Breathe..." was the last thing I heard.**

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

I was lost in blackness, but not for long. I came to, feeling the terrible piercing inside of me again. Why didn't I die so the pain stopped? Why couldn't I just pass out again? My voice came out, but it was only a growl.

"Sam, what have you done to him?" A woman's voice rang through my ears and I blinked, turning my head for the source; Emily. Then I felt myself being lifted from the floor and I closed my eyes, wincing and groaning in discomfort. I didn't like being held like a baby, and it really wasn't comfortable. Why was I so weak? What happened to me?

Everything that occurred between Leah and I flashed through my mind, and I was able to clear up my own confusion fast. I didn't have time for this shit. I had to get back to Bella before she woke up. I felt panic rising in me at being away from her...unable to see if she was okay. Hell, _I _was not okay without _her_.

"Let me...go..." I lifted my head and tried to get out of Sam's arms, fighting his strength, but I relented to the exhaustion and went limp again. "Bella..." I moaned.

"You'll see her soon enough, Jacob. Just hang in there."

I wanted to see Bella, damnit. I had to see her or I was going to die, I was really going to die. I could feel it inside of me, the weakness taking over. The dread inside of my soul that told me I was empty...just a black, soulless hole without my beautiful Bella. I clutched my stomach, my chest. I clawed my neck and my face, raking my hair, groaning from the neverending torture scraping the insides of my body, under my skin. I didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. Did that jackass poison me or something?

"What...what did you give me."

"Why? Do you want some more?" He sounded pleased.

"N-no. You...tried to kill me..."

"No I didn't, Jacob. You may die without more, though."

"No! Don't give it to me. I d-don't want it."

"It will make you feel better, Jacob." He said as I moaned again and I felt myself sink into a cushiony mattress. I painstakingly rolled onto my side and shoved my face into the soft bed. "Bella. Bella." I called for her, but I could barely hear my pathetic voice. "Uuhhh...my lo-ove..." I whined.

I heard Sam talking to someone, my name being mentioned a few times... but I was too busy fighting to stay alive to hear what was being said. Fighting to stay awake so I could see my angel again...so I could one day ask her to be my wife. To someday see our beautiful children that we would love unconditionally and raise together. That's all I silently asked for. I didn't know if there was a God, but I prayed to him. I prayed so hard that He would bring her back to me. It was too impossible to fight the exhaustion...I couldn't open my eyes as I finally gave up the fight, unable to bear the pain any longer. My body went lifeless on the bed, and I welcomed the darkness again.

"Jacob, are you alright?" The voice kept me from falling too deep down the black hole. I was pulled excruciatingly out of it as her small hands shook me violently, keeping my brain aware of my surroundings. "Jacob!" It was Emily. I didn't want to see or hear fucking Emily. I just wanted my Bella. Didn't they understand that I needed her so much? "Jacob, sweetheart?"

"Huh?" I clung to the mattress with what little strength I had left in me as my heart continued splitting apart. My fingers gripped the side of the mattress and I looked up at her, barely able to make her out through my disheveled bangs. "What's wrong with me? Why am I..."

"Weak?" She asked.

_And in goddamn freaking pain!_

I couldn't even nod my head, I just sighed and continued to tremble under her gentle stare. "Jacob, I'm so sorry about what happened. I told Sam to leave you and Bella alone. He shouldn't have called you. If I had known that he gave Leah alcohol and that any of this would have happened, I swear I would have stopped you from speaking to her." She took my face in her hands and rubbed circles on my cheeks with her thumbs. "Your body is reacting to...well I guess Leah tried something with you..."

I didn't give a shit about what happened with Leah. I just wanted to fucking get to Bella so I could be happy again. Somehow I knew, if I could only see her, touch her, smell her...this gutwrenching pain would go away. My strength would come back. I'd be myself again...whatever that was.

It felt as though my heart was giving up, as it barely beat inside of me. The blood barely moved through my veins. But I remember somewhere, Bella's heart was still beating. I prayed it was, anyway. And as long as her precious heart beat beneath her fragile chest, I knew mine could not cease... our hearts were one now. I held my chest, telling my weak, thumping muscle to keep going because Bella's was. I had to make it. I had to get through this for her. My throat tightened and I felt my eyes sting as I thought of kissing her pink lips just one more time.

Emily's face was so worried, so upset for me as I watched her through my heavy eyes. I breathed fast and urgent, my lungs unable to hold to their normal capacity. She brushed the bangs away from my face and I saw a tear slide down her cheek. "You are in so much pain?" I couldn't answer her. I just shook like I had a fever that would shatter a thermometer. "You really need the shirt again. Jacob, do you need her shirt again?" She asked as another tear escaped her eye. So that's what it was...Bella's shirt.

"What? Shirt?" I whispered. She nodded as she pet my hair. "Yes." I breathed.

She turned and when she faced me again, she held the shirt in her hands. It was the same fabric Sam had shoved into my face earlier. I didn't even wait for her to give it to me, I snatched it away from her like it was my drug. I pressed it to my face and rolled onto my stomach, cherishing the small piece of clothing desperately breathing in Bella's scent, moaning in need...in pleasure. I immediately felt myself harden with desire as I took in the intoxicating aroma, but it was of little importance as the pain and aching in my soul, my heart, was fading again.

I didn't know how long I laid in that bed, breathing in and chewing on her poor shirt that could only be considered remains after what I had done to it. The pain had finally completely subsided, and I felt stronger again. I knew I didn't need it anymore, but I couldn't get enough of it. I stayed panting on my stomach, Bella's shirt a pillow to my face. I closed my eyes and continued inhaling her smell. I didn't even notice when Emily had left.

"Jacob." A loud, firm voice startled me and my head shot up. Sam stood there, a smile on his face. What the fuck was the dick smiling about? "Feeling better?" He asked with a wink.

"Uh...yeah." I sat up, keeping Bella's abused t-shirt in my hands. "Where did you get this?" I asked him.

"The shirt? Yeah it's been in this house for at least a year now. You left it here, actually."

"I did?" A whole year? And it still smelled so absolutely wonderful.

"Yeah, that girl's always leaving her stuff at your place. You would take it with you everywhere, usually in a backpack. Guess you left it here one day. Ended up in Emily's closet. You're lucky it hasn't been washed." He laughed.

I looked down at the ruined article of clothing and felt guilty I destroyed Bella's shirt with my teeth. I hoped she didn't miss it. "Um..." I stood up and cleared my throat. "I'm leaving now."

"Wait, Jacob." He placed his hand on my chest to stop me. "I really am sorry about all of this. I feel like I've caused you unnecessary pain." He sounded legit. "It was stupid of me, I know...but I had to do this to see once and for all that you in fact imprinted."

What? I didn't know what my face must have looked like. Did I actually hear him right? So he did plan all of it? This was some kind of sick experiment? This was not fucking cool. Not cool _at all. _I felt the chill in my spine...the familiar tremor that shook me from toe to head. I had to fight it...to fight the wolf that was absolutely livid. Leah and I were experiments for Sam...he just couldn't fucking take my word for it that I'd imprinted.

I'd been touched by another woman because of him. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but the fact she had put her hands on parts of me reserved only for Bella, made me feel disgusting. My angel did not deserve it. He smiled again...like I was just going to be okay with this.

_I'm going to wipe that fucking smile off your face_

My eyes shot blades through Sam's and before I could even control the intense heat flooding through me, I had him by the throat.

* * *

**A/N: I know I'm evil for ending it there, but I had to if I wanted to get this chapter up in a reasonable amount of time! I hope you enjoyed it despite the appearance of Mr. Sparkles in there. Thanks for all the continued support and love, wolf girls/guys! Love you all! **

**J/B reunite next chapter ! :D**

**-donttgettmeupsett**


	31. Intersection

**NTYP Chapter 31**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight~**

_**A/N: **I'm sorry for the long wait! I have not had time to sit and write for weeks, but I am going to really try and make the time because I love this story and I want it to continue on until the very end. I'm not going to give up on it, so don't worry! I am in awe of all the reviews I've gotten and each review makes me feel all fuzzy inside! ;D_

_Thanks so much for those of you who are still reading this and thank you doubly for the awesome reviews, they keep me writing! _

_Huge Thank You to those who reviewed last chapter: **sweetdreams1, MusicIsMyWeapon, ASH186, -EnjoyyourJacob-, nipponophile, 82c10akaLynn, feebes86, redwolf22, goldengirl2707, jakejunkie, dorme99, Pegasus12654, RealLifeWolfGirl, MandaRe, twilight4evr84, jharv241, AriesFireQn, MaryBBlove23**_

**_-donttgettmeupsett_**

* * *

**Jake's POV**

**"Wait, Jacob." He placed his hand on my chest to stop me. "I really am sorry about all of this. I feel like I've caused you unnecessary pain." He sounded legit. "It was stupid of me, I know...but I had to do this to see once and for all that you in fact imprinted."**

**What? I didn't know what my face must have looked like. Did I actually hear him right? So he did plan all of it? This was some kind of sick experiment? This was not fucking cool. Not cool _at all. _I felt the chill in my spine...the familiar tremor that shook me from toe to head. I had to fight it...to fight the wolf that was absolutely livid. Leah and I were experiments for Sam...he just couldn't fucking take my word for it that I'd imprinted.**

**I'd been touched by another woman because of him. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but the fact she had put her hands on parts of me reserved only for Bella, made me feel disgusting. My angel did not deserve it. He smiled again...like I was just going to be okay with this.**

**_I'm going to wipe that fucking smile off your face_**

**My eyes shot blades through Sam's and before I could even control the intense heat flooding through me, I had him by the throat**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

Poor, sweet, innocent Jacob. What was Sam thinking? My mind could not make sense of what Sam had done as I clumsily but fervently attacked the last bits of grime off my kitchen countertop. I loved the man so much, but he certainly could be stupid sometimes. Despite the fact I was his imprint, he rarely did anything I asked of him. And I had asked him over and over to just leave Bella and Jacob alone. The boy deserved to finally be happy.

_Who cares what kind of past they had! If Bella left that bloodsucker to be with Jacob, I'm sure she loves him with all of her heart!_

My thoughts ran away as I bent down, giving the oven door a nice swipe with my dishrag. I usually took out my frustrations on cleaning when life got crazy or complicated...and Sam made things complicated all the time...so my house was pretty much immaculate all the time. I absolutely could not believe he would be so selfish and use Leah and Jacob the way he had.

_And all just to prove something to himself that was completely obvious to everyone else in the first place. What an idiot_

I was Jacob's only close-to-mother figure he had, and even _I_ felt like his love life was not any of my business, much less Sam's.

Ever since Sam imprinted on me and broke my cousin's heart, he always seemed...a little off. Like he was hiding something from me. Maybe guilt or was it that he still loved my cousin? I couldn't pinpoint it, but I knew one day he'd snap. Maybe he'd snapped a long time ago and I just never realized it. Sure, I was his imprint but I couldn't shake the feeling that he still loved Leah to some degree and I knew I deserved better than him. Better than what imprinting had to offer me.

I deserved for my feelings to be taken into consideration, at least! I fucking told Sam to leave Jacob alone. Did he even consider my words, even for a second? My view, my opinion, my anything?

_When or if Jacob realizes he is Sam's commanding chief, things are going to get really ugly_

My mind continued to ramble as I wiped down the inside of the microwave.

I felt the lump in my throat as I remembered Jacob's eyes. A wave of guilt washed over me at the fact I couldn't prevent Sam from what he'd done. I felt like I should've been able to prevent it somehow. But really, what could I have done for Jacob?

I had never seen anything like that before. I was aware it was almost physically impossible to have sex with someone besides your imprint, but I had no idea it would be like that. I could honestly almost feel Jacob's pain just looking through his dark and tortured eyes. It just wasn't fair how that stupid hocus pocus shit could turn such strong, brilliant beings into torn up piles of mush in a matter of seconds.

I was truly traumatized by it all. I had watched Jacob devour Bella's shirt like it was his lifeline. He was acting on pure wolf instict and I wondered how far Leah must have gone with Jacob to cause the violent reaction in him. I mean...he looked like he was going to die with need for Bella!

Maybe if Leah hadn't been shit-faced, she wouldn't have seduced him...or whatever happened. What did she do to him? Why was Jacob so messed up after he was in that room with her? Did she try to freaking rape him or something?

I tried to remember all the things Sam had told me about imprinting and blah blah blah. I really couldn't remember much. Maybe Jacob had such a reaction because he was a new, weak wolf? After all, it hadn't been long since he'd gotten hurt. A tear escaped my eye at the sympathy that overwhelmed my heart for innocent Jacob.

He was like a son to me, though I was still too young to actually be his mother. I'd easily replaced the emptiness his mother's death had left behind in his life.

_As if he feels that way about me now. Damn amnesia!_

And here my own fiancé was making the healing process much harder for Jake. He didn't tell me what his horrid little mind had planned to do. I had no clue about this experiment between Leah and Jacob.

_He's such a control freak _

I thought to myself as I returned to wiping the kitchen counters down roughly again, taking my aggrivation with Sam out on my already spotless countertop. I gasped, causing my chest to tighten painfully when the sudden loud roar ripped through the house.

I heard something crash, and I felt my heart stop as I attempted to breathe again. I dropped the rag and ran to the sounds of chaos in the guest bedroom.

_Oh god what's going on_

"Jacob, please...!" I heard Sam's voice beg and I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing when I reached the bedroom. What was Jacob doing to my fiancé?

" I'm going to castrate you...I'm going to gut you... worthless piece of sewer shit!" Jacob's voice pierced the air, stronger than I'd ever heard it. "You used us."

He took Sam's throat in a vice grip, his digits bruising the skin there as he lifted the older man off the collapsed bed.

I stared at the scene, imagining what must have just happened a moment ago...Jacob slamming Sam's body against the bed when I had heard the crash.

Now he was lifting him by his throat and continued raising him into the air. "You son-of-a-bitch..." Jacob growled as Sam frantically grabbed at Jacob's hand, choking.

"P-p-please...Jac-ob..."

I screamed in horror as the pure sound of rage erupted from Jacob's throat and Sam's body was thrown across the room with such force, he was only a streak in the air. Sam groaned as he slid down the cracked wall, falling to the floor.

Jacob's muscles were twitching as he stalked towards Sam who was cowering on the ground and pleading with his eyes. There was nothing but pure fury lighting the depths of Jacob's deep eyes as he snatched the older man's hair and began slugging him in the face continuously until blood was splattering everywhere.

"No, Jacob! No, please, stop!" I screamed in horror as I watched him pummel Sam in the face with a crazed look in his eyes. He never let up for a second, no matter how much I begged. I'd never seen Jacob like that. I didn't recognize him. He was pissed and powerful, and determined to absolutely annihilate Sam Uley. There was no sign in his black eyes that he had any intention of stopping.

"Jacob!" I shrieked. Just then I heard the front door open and Paul and Quil were rushing the room in seconds. "Jake! No! No, Jake! Stop!" Quil shouted. Paul didn't say anything but ran to Jacob, gripping his shoulders.

Jake grunted each time his fist met Sam's face. "_You...had her...expecting..._" Jacob roared between punches. "_me_.._.to...fuck her!_" His body was trembling at a dangerous rate. "_I'm going...to kill...you._"

"No, Jake you're out of control!" Paul was able to pull him off of the beaten body and Jacob's chest heaved as he glared down at his bloody alpha with eyes of fire. "Jesus, man. We heard everything. Everything." Paul spoke into Jacob's ear.

Jacob wiped at the blood splatter on his sweaty face with the back of his fist, but he just ended up transferring more blood from his hand to his face.

Paul held him tightly in his arms as his vibrating escalated. "I don't know what Sam was thinking, man...but you can't kill him." He stated painfully.

Jacob growled down at Sam all bloodied on the floor and half-conscious. I ran to him and clung to his battered form that was slumped against the bedroom wall. I looked up at Jacob with tears in my eyes, asking him to spare my fiancé. I knew he deserved the beating, and whatever else Jacob wanted to do to him...but Sam was everything to me, and I couldn't lose him.

I knew Sam was flawed and very selfish, but I also knew I would be able find it in my heart to forgive him...no matter how long that was going to take. Jacob had to forgive him. He was too good to take him from me. I begged him with my eyes. I begged him to spare Sam's life.

"Forgive him, please Jacob..." I cried into Sam's arm and held him close. "Don't kill him." I sobbed.

I could hear Jacob's wild breaths and grating noises coming from his throat...his struggle to keep from phasing. "Chill out, Jacob. You don't know what you're doing. You need to calm down or you'll really regret this..." Paul spoke softly into Jacob's ear from behind him, still holding onto his brother's large, trembling body.

Jacob was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling as he stared down at me and Sam with a furious twinkling in his eyes. I watched his fists open and close over and over, his blood-covered knuckles cracking. "Come on, man." Paul said as he and Quil struggled, but managed to drag Jake out of the bedroom. The angry, heaving, shaking, bloody, sweaty Jacob was unrecognizable to me and I cried harder into my Sam.

How was I always in the middle of someone else's mess? Someone else's mess, but also my own...for I had to fight every battle alongside Sam. I was in the mix whether I asked for it or not. When he hurt, I hurt.

If only he would stop causing these things. Stop causing the horror, the fights, the trauma. I needed rest. I needed a life. I wanted to curl up in my bed and sleep in order to wake up from the nightmare.

I lowered my head to Sam's broken body and cried for the men in my messed up life ; the monsters I hated, but the men I loved.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

"What the fuck was that in there, man?" Paul snapped at me as he and Quil lowered me down to the sofa.

"I don't know." I said as I stared at my clenched, shaking fist. I strained, keeping my wolf down and feeling appreciative toward my new-found strength that I was able to control that part of me. Except, I had just behaved like an animal whether or not I looked like one. "I don't know." I said again and smeared red from my fist to my shirt.

Paul looked down at me. "Jacob, what did Sam do to you?"

"I don't know."

"Shit, is that the only thing you know how to say?"

"Don't worry about it, Paul."

"I have to worry, man. You almost killed your Alpha..."

"Paul!" A new voice came from deep inside of me and I felt a newfound awareness that told me without question that I had authority over this man standing in front of me. The confidence of a natural born leader came to front, and I stood before the two men looking at me with their wide eyes, fighting my wolf, the battle inside of me becoming more tolerable.

It was the hardest thing I'd ever tried to do, but somehow the beast within me was safely pinned up somewhere inside of me, ready to be released when I allowed it. "I am your Alpha." I looked between Paul and Quil, their mouths hung open in surprise.

I wasn't sure where this voice inside of me was coming from, but I allowed it to take over. It was me, I knew that much. But it was the stronger part of me. The part that was ready to man up and take hold of my responsibilities for my pack. The part that was willing to take down the dip-shit in the other room who was ruining mine and other people I cared about's lives.

I didn't' know how they were going to accept me as Alpha, but they would have no choice...because Sam Uley's days as substitute Alpha were over.

Before I could doubt their loyalty, Paul's expression changed to one of relief or was it pride? "Right you are, man." He smiled fully wide and grasped my hand with immense strength, squeezing. "Chief."

I didn't expect the reaction I got, but there were no words to describe the feeling of brotherhood...of family that I felt at that moment looking into my pack brother's eyes. It was the first time I'd felt like I belonged anywhere besides next to my angel.

Unexpectedly, it felt as if my life, this life I was recently just trying to cope with and understand, was quickly falling into place and I could not contain the immense joy and self-worth that radiated from inside of me.

"Hey Alpha Jake," Quil's voice interrupted Paul's masculine handshake and I turned my head to him. "Does this mean we have to do everything you say now? Because that really sucks." I smiled , turning back to Paul who I could tell was really grossed out, staring down at his wet hand.

"Sorry about the uh...blood." I grimaced.

Then I remembered Emily and what I'd done to...Sam. My stomach acid churned as I walked back into the room that was filled with the strong aroma of blood. Sam was no longer sprawled out on the floor. He was standing beside the cracked wall with a wet-faced Emily caressing his cheeks and asking him if he was alright a million times.

Sam avoided eye contact with me...but I could barely see his eyes through all the blood and swollen flesh. I walked over to them, Quil and Paul entering the room just after me.

"How is he?" I asked Emily.

"Well..." She sniffed and held Sam's hand to her lips. "He put his nose and jaw back into place." Her voice shook and her face twisted.

"I'm sorry, Emily." I looked at her with remorse. I felt terrible for causing her pain. She was such a beautiful soul and I could sense that. My eyes moved to Sam and If looks could kill...he'd be dead. "You. I'm not sorry for what I did to you." Sam's eyes were fearful and tired as they sheepishly took in my intimidating glare. "You will step down and I will immediately fill my position as rightful and acting Alpha of this pack." Sam's eyes widened slightly before they tightened. "Leah is my Beta, taking effect immediately. You will follow our orders. Do I make myself clear, Uley?"

His lips pursed and he nodded slowly to me. "Clean this mess up, will you?" I said as I took Emily's hand and lead her into the hall. "Where's Leah? Is she alright? Emily, I've got to get back to Bella..."

"She's fine. I made her some coffee and she's resting in my room. I don't know if the alcohol has burned out of her system yet."

"Miss Emily I'm so so sorry for doing that to Sam. I'm so sorry." My eyes stung.

"Shh, Jacob... I understand. He brought it on himself." She gave me a sad, sweet smile and I took her in my arms. She was the closest thing I had to a mother. I loved her.

"Thank you Emily." I sighed.

"Jake, I'm going to give Quil a ride over to see Claire for a while, then I'm heading home. I'm beat." Paul walked over to us.

"Yeah...sure, Paul. I will see you tomorrow, pack meeting at noon. Be here." I didn't know who Claire was, but it didn't really matter enough for me to ask at that time.

"If anything else crazy happens around here, don't hesitate to call me, Emmy." I watched Paul and Quil hug Emily sweetly before they headed out.

Moments later, I found Leah where Emily said she'd be; sitting on the bed in the master bedroom, sipping coffee and holding an icepack to her head. She looked up at me with the saddest eyes.

"Oh God, Jake...I'm so sorry." Her face was distraught and her eyes were swollen. There was no telling how long she had been crying.

"For what? Trying to kill Bella, or trying to fuck me?" My voice was cold. Her bloodshot eyes widened and she shook her head. I immediately felt bad for snapping at her..

"Oh, Jake." Her lips quivered. "Tell me I didn't do those things to you. Emily said..." She began to sob and her mug tilted, spilling hot coffee all over her. She didn't even flinch. The drink probably matched her own temperature.

I slowly walked to her and let my heaviness sink down next to her, taking the mug and letting her sob against my shoulder. "What did Emily say?" I whispered as I tossed the mug aside.

"She...she said you...you were really bad off." She sobbed against my shoulder. "I...I almost k-killed you...Jacob"

"I don't know about 'almost killing' me... but I felt like shit."

She sat back slightly and looked into my face...her eyes soaked. "Yeah I so know your body only wants one person, and your stupid soul won't allow you to have me even If I fucking tried right now!" More tears gushed from her eyes.

"Well, don't try again...please." I breathed, remembering the terrible pain from her assault.

"Jake, you'll get stronger as you adjust...once you're used to being a shifter again. One day...it won't be so hard. It won't hurt you. You'd feel awkward at first, but you could do it. You could be happy with someone other than your imprint. It is possible, Jacob. I've heard stories...the elders..." Her eyes were wide and searching mine wildly.

"What are you saying, Lee?"

"Shit I don't know what I'm saying. Just forget everything I just said!" She wiped her eyes. "Please." She sniffed. "I know you must really fucking hate me."

"I-I don't hate you, alright?" I took the icepack from her shaking hands and held it to her head. "Hurt?"

"You have no idea." She whimpered. "I drank way too much, and my body has already burned the alcohol out of my system. My head is killing me. I wish my stupid body wasn't so hot so I couldn't feel this way. I could actually drink my pain away like normal fucking people."

"Drinking doesn't help anything...not even normal fucking people."

She looked at me and couldn't stifle the laugh escaping her lips. "It does. It makes you forget." She wasn't laughing anymore.

"What are you trying to forget?"

"You. I want to forget you."

If she wanted to forget me, then fine. I'd make it so much easier for her. All I wanted was to see my angel again, anyway. "I need to get back to Bella..."

"NO!" She cried and looked up into my face with her tear-filled eyes, placing a hand on my blood-stained cheek. "Are you hurt?"

"It's Sam's blood." I told her, dropping the icepack and removing her hand from my face.

She looked down at her hands in mine and I felt her sobs shake the bed.

"Leah, I know if you weren't drunk, you wouldn't have tried anything with me. You wouldn't have hurt me or Bella."

"I don't know, Jake. I felt...crazy." Her eyes lit up. "Crazy and insane...like...who knows what I would have done if Sam didn't make me drink all that vodka."

"I don't think you would have done anything." When I saw her start to sob again, I took her in my arms. "I know what it's like to hurt...to be alone. To want something when it's not yours." I thought of my angel, how much I wanted her when I knew she belonged to Edgar...er...Edward. "I really do forgive you, Lee." I rubbed her back and let her go as I stood up. She grasped my hand just as I got to my feet, pulling me back down onto the bed beside her.

"I love you, Jacob."

"Leah..." I sighed loud. "You are a beautiful, smart woman." Her wet eyes widened and I could see some of the pain in them wash away. "And one day, a man is going to be so insanely lucky to call you his own, and you will never feel...any of this...for me ever again." I smiled at her and I could see the corner of her lip attempt to curl, but she was fighting it. "Leah. We..." I sighed and closed my eyes for a long moment before opening them again. "Friends, okay?" I squeezed her hands.

Her face dropped and I looked at her sympathetically. She looked back up into my eyes giving me a terribly forced, yet beautiful smile. Still, it only made me miss my angel's smile even more and my heart clenched causing a sharp intake of breath on my part.

"Right, right..." She sighed, nodding her head gently. I could sense the strength she had to gather in herself not to lose it again. She was a strong woman and she would get through this. Hell, she was a crazy she-wolf. She was going to fucking get through it. "Getting shaggy, Jacob." She raked her fingers over the top of my head. "Might wanna ask Emily to give you a trim, soon."

I laughed. "I'll see you later, okay Leah? Don't do anything stupid again." I removed myself from the bed.

"Wait, Jake!" Leah's voice was high-pitched. I sighed and turned around. "I just wanted to say...I-I'm sorry...again.."

"I know."

"There's no excuse for my behavior...the gun...telling Sam I was going to...shoot... Jacob I really am truly sorry."

"I believe you. Just, don't fucking think that way ever again, got it?"

I couldn't have been more serious, yet we exchanged small grins. I felt very in-tune with Leah. As if I had been in her shoes somehow. I understood where she was coming from and deep down I knew she would never hurt Bella. Her soul was in pain, and I would help her through it any way I could. Even if I had to drive her to a shrink every week, I'd help my pack sister through this. All she had to do was call.

"I won't hurt Bella. If you are happy, that's what matters to me, Jacob. I would never hurt her." Her eyes bore into mine, and I could feel the strong emotions she felt for me. It hit my stomach and only made me feel sorry for her again. "As long as she...she loves you..." Her voice trailed off.

"She does." I assured her. "Now don't go having any more meltdowns."

She nodded and whispered. "What's that?" She pointed at my back pocket.

"Oh, that's just...Bella's shirt." I said as I exited the room. I was so done talking and I missed Bella so much. "See ya around, Beta."

I heard her gasp as I ran down the hall, and out the front door.

_Oh Bells, I can't wait to see you_

Joy sprung from my every pore, every breath, every heartbeat as I imagined having Bella in my arms again.

I leapt off the porch and darted through the forest.

_Come on come on...fucking change already. Wolf powers fucking activate!_

It wasn't fair that I couldn't figure out how to phase at will. I wanted to get back to Bella. I couldn't get to her fast enough. I hoped she was alright. I hadn't planned to stay away for so long.

I kept shouting orders at myself as I ran through the woods with my sliced up bare feet. With one more command and a loud roar, I felt my body rip apart in mid-run.

_Shit, there goes Charlie's clothes..._.

The pads of my paws protecting my feet from further harm, I inwardly screamed in excitement and joy at the feeling of such freedom, such strength, and such speed. I was an animal and I fucking loved it.

_This is so cool_

I could almost smell Bella as I got closer to Forks...closer to my angel...closer to the rest of my life.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I was sitting down to dinner with my dad at the kitchen table. Guess I couldn't hide how upset I was over not knowing where the hell Jacob went. My dad kept giving me funny looks as he served himself, plopping a huge spoonful of Chili in his bowl.

"Bells, what's the matter with you tonight? Something wrong?"

I forced a smile and looked at him, "No. No dad, why?" I took a small bite of chili.

"Did you get the note I left you?"

Note? "No, I-I didn't see a note."

"Well, I left it here on the table." He sighed.

I wiped my mouth with my napkin, feeling the awkward tension in the air. I was sure he knew I didn't want to be there with him. I barely touched my food. I barely spoke. There was something wrong all right. Jacob was missing. Even if it was only for some odd hours, he was still freaking missing in my opinion and I was panicking on the inside.

"Maybe Jacob did something with it." I didn't realize I said that aloud.

"Jacob, hm? So how long was he over here, Bella? You two getting serious?"

"Dad..." I said, feeling bashful. If only he knew how serious. I'd lost my virginity to his favorite person in the whole world besides me. I wondered how he'd take it if he found out. "Yeah...you could say...we're kind of serious..."

He grinned. "There is no 'kind of' serious, Bells."

I took a bigger bite of food so I wouldn't have to talk about this anymore, but Charlie wasn't giving up on the conversation just yet.

"Anyway..." He said, still chewing on his last bite. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Uh...s-sure. What about...?" I made circles in my bowl of chili, mimicking the feeling that was going on in my stomach as I thought about Jake.

"Sam thinks you shouldn't..." He paused and looked at me for a moment. "Oh hell, nevermind Bells..." He shook his head.

I sighed on the inside, knowing he was just about to bring up the crap about Sam not wanting me around Jacob. I guessed he had told Charlie after I left with Jacob. What an ass...

"You don't see your friends from school anymore."

"Well dad, I'm sure they are busy...you know...living their own lives..."

"Angela called yesterday. Said she's been missing you."

"Oh..." I played with my hair and glanced over at the telephone.

_Should I call Sam's house? _

_No way. _

_Remember what he said to you, Bella? _

_But god I really need to find out what happened to Jake._

I had the phone in my hands before I even realized it.

"Who ya calling, Bells?" Charlie asked me from the table. I looked back at him and then at the phone in my hand.

"Oh...um..." No, NO. I could not call Sam. I could not get into a fight with Sam right in front of my dad. I couldn't call Billy, either. What if he agreed with Sam and didn't want me near Jacob? I couldn't fight with my dad's best friend right in front of him.

_Screw this. I'm going over to Jake's house and I'm going to find out what the hell happened to him_

I grabbed my coat because it was slightly chilly outside, then slipped on my beat-up keds.

"Where you going this time of night?" Charlie shouted as I opened the back door.

"Don't worry dad, I'm just going to see Jake for a little while."

"Hey, be careful, Bells!"

I walked so fast into the forest that I was more jogging than walking. It was dark and creepy, and I shivered because of the cold breeze that would rush by me ever so often.

It would have been so much easier to drive to La Push, but I had Edward and Sam to thank for destroying my truck. At least the moon was helping me out a bit and I wouldn't have to travel in complete blackness.

After walking for what felt like half an hour, I was starting to feel exhausted and my throat was burning from the cold air. I was thinking about slumping against a tree for a rest when I heard heavy breathing. It sounded like an animal panting. I squinted my eyes into the darkness, scared of what I was about to come face to face with.

That's when I saw the glowing eyes coming towards me and I began to back away. My heart beat in my chest so hard I could feel it, and it almost hurt. I stopped breathing when I heard a low growl come from it's chest. I turned to run but that's when I heard my name.

_Oh my god...Jake_

I turned around and saw his beautiful eyes reflecting the moonlight as they stared straight into mine. He walked toward me and I saw that he was completely naked. Well, duh. He had just been a wolf.

He said my name again, and he sounded tired. He almost sounded like he was hurt. I was so surprised, I couldn't move. I just stood there staring at him coming closer to me. I finally breathed deeply when he touched me with his warm hands.

"What are you doing out here, Bella? It's dangerous."

"I...I..." Oh my god, there was blood all over him. His gorgeous face...his hands...his arms... his neck... I almost fainted.

"Bella!" He held me close to him and I sighed at the feeling of his chiseled arms holding me again. He didn't seem hurt, yet he looked hurt. He was covered in so much blood! "Are you okay, sweetheart?" He said worriedly.

"J-Jake. Oh my god, Jacob who hurt you!" I fought the dizziness from seeing him covered in blood and grabbed his face in my hands. "What happened!" I felt the warm tears sliding down my cheeks. He shook his head and took my hands in his.

"Bella, baby...I'm not hurt. It's Sam's blood."

"Sam?"

"Yes. A...fight..."

"Oh god, Jacob...no! He...he...what did he do to you? No Jake!" I sobbed and felt his lips on my tear-streaked face.

"I'm fine, my angel I'm just fine. Don't worry about me. I can handle myself."

"I was coming to look for you. I was so scared."

"You were looking for me? That's why you're out here? Bella, what if you had run into someone else? What if it wasn't me who found you out here?"

"Well..." I sniffed. "Aren't there wolves patrolling?"

"No. There was no one else phased when I was. I will have to change the patrolling schedules so there is someone out here 24/7."

"_You_ will have to change the schedules?" I asked confused.

"That's one of the many things an Alpha is responsible for..."

"Alpha?" I almost screamed.

He just nodded and I could tell he was smiling with help from the moon's warm glow. His head dipped and his lips were on my cheek and then my neck.

"I can't believe it..." I whispered as I felt his lips move to my chin. "My Jacob...an Alpha..."

"That's right, baby..." I felt his hot breath at my mouth before his lips sank into mine, his tongue immediately soothing my heart and my lips that had longed for this feeling again. "I love you." He moaned into my mouth and I felt his hard erection grind into my center. I moaned and immediately felt myself moisten for him.

"Jake...I...I..."

"I know." He breathed. "I can smell you."

His mouth found mine again and I let my head fall back as his sweet honey lips and hot tongue swayed smoothly with mine. I melted into his embrace as he kept me from drizzling to the ground. My hands were on his bare chest and I felt his nipples harden between my fingers. He tore is lips from mine so we could breathe, and I realized I was not cold anymore. His body was so hot and comforting, it was better than my favorite blanket back at home.

"Jacob..." I panted. "Why did you leave me?"

His body stiffened before he answered. "The phone rang while you were asleep. It was Sam." He sighed loudly and released me. "He wanted me to...to see Leah and..." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Leah?" I asked confused. Why did he need to see Leah? I started to feel a slight twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.

"I wish I had just stayed with you." My eyes had adjusted well enough so I could make out Jacob's features and his beautiful eyes most of all. "I should have stayed with you." He said gently. I saw something in his eyes...something that freaked me out. Guilt?

"Jacob." My voice was low and upset. "What happened between you and Leah?" I glared at him.

"Bella..."

"I mean it Jacob, what happened!" I couldn't force back the tears that fell from my eyes. "Tell me before I put you in another coma!" His eyes widened at that and he shook his head.

"I didn't do anything with her, what's going on with you, Bells?"

"I thought you imprinted on me! What? Did...did you find out you were wrong? Is Leah the one you want? Huh!" I was screaming now and hitting his chest. My heart was breaking at the thought of him with Leah...loving Leah...needing Leah. My whole world was Jacob and I was so in love with him down to every atom in my body, and now he had been with Leah for so many hours doing God knows what.

His face held sadness and horror, combined. "Isabella Swan, what the hell is wrong with you?" He boomed in my face, clutching my wrists and forcing me to listen. "I love you, whether or not there is some stupid imprinting shit involved. I said I love you! YOU!"

"Oh so you know my full name now? How is that possible, Jake?" He released me and I poked a finger at his chest.

"Who says I'm not allowed to remember stuff, huh Bells? I can't call you Isabella now?"

"NO."

"Why not, Is-a-bell-a..." He drew the word out as he inched closer to my face.

"S-stop, Jake..." I begged.

"What if I don't want to." He licked my bottom lip and my eyes fluttered and rolled back, a wonderful twitch between my legs made me moan. He didn't know that my ex-boyfriend had always called me Isabella...so I just let him enjoy teasing me. It was actually sorta hott hearing my name fall from his lips again and again, and I did not want him to stop. Ever.

I wondered how he remembered my full first name. Did he know my middle name, too? Maybe he had a flashback or something. I wondered when and how and what it was he actually recalled?

It was the last thing I wanted to think about, but I wondered if he'd had this memory come back to him during...during his time with _Leah. _ I couldn't contain my jealousy again and flinched.

He was sucking and nibbling my bottom lip when I turned my face from him.

"Th-then...then why were you with her?" I couldn't stop the tears that trickled out of the corner of my eyes. "I was alone and you were with her. Did Sam order you to be with her? Oh my god, Jacob, what did Sam make you do with that bitch!"

"Bella, come on, please." His voice was pleading and emotional as he took my face in his hands. "Why can't you believe me? Nothing happened. I spoke to her, that's all..."

"What did you need to speak to her about?" I sniffed.

"She's in love with me."

"What?" I almost laughed. "I knew something was up with her in the car. She was way too happy..."

"Bella, I'm not being completely honest with you." He closed his eyes. "She...she forced herself on me."

My heart dropped as fast as an anchor. "You slept with her!" I knew my eyes were bugging out then. That fucking tanned bitch got hot and heavy with my sexy russet man? Oh nooo, no way in fucking hell was I going to let this shit go!

"Move, Jake." I said too calmly. "Move!" I shouted and he stumbled back in shock as I stormed off past him.

"Where do you think you're going?" I heard him following me, his voice close to my ear.

"I'm going to make that skank wish she was never born." I said matter-of-factly.

"Bella, don't do this. I told you, nothing happened. I stopped her. Don't be angry, she's messed up..."

"Oh I'll mess her up all right!" So he stopped her. That was not going to stop me from going over there and gouging her eyes out!

"Damnit, Bella!" I felt the air get forced out of my lungs and I cried out at the pain that pierced my back. I realized then that I was shoved up against a tree, Jacob's body pressed firmly to mine. "So she molested me, big deal. I'm not a puppy, Bella. I don't need anyone to protect me." His voice was deep and his lips were so painfully close to mine. "There is only one girl...one woman, that I need." He moaned and sniffed my hair. "And I'm meant to protect _her._..not the other way around." I could hear his deep breaths next to my ear. Then he whimpered, "Can you feel how much I need you?"

"Yes." I whispered, completely entranced by his gorgeous voice. I could feel how much he wanted me. It was pressing roughly into my stomach. I whined his name as I felt my liquids building for him. He was so beautiful under the moonlight, that I thought I might cry if I looked up into his loving face filled with desire for me one more time.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

My heart hurt so bad. All I wanted to think about was my beautiful angel right there in front of me, but that Leah was in the back of my mind. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but the guilt was torturing me nonetheless. I couldn't tell Bella what Leah had planned to do to her...it would just keep her up at night...frightened.

I felt a growl trying to rip it's way out of me, but I suppressed it. I was so frustrated with myself for allowing my body to be touched by my pack sister, and I wondered if Leah was as humiliated as I was. She had come onto me, after all. I was not guilty, but why did I feel like I was? I knew why...because Bella would be hurt...which she was. I fought back the sting in my eyes.

I was going to make this up to Bella. I was going to show her that she was the only woman in the entire world who could have me. The only woman who I would ever make love to. But right now, the wolf inside of me wanted to take her so hard I was afraid I would hurt her.

"So she molested me, big deal. I'm not a puppy, Bella. I don't need anyone to protect me." I felt so much adoration for her. She wanted to protect me. How freaking cute is that! I wanted to laugh, but I knew she wouldn't understand and it would offend her. Her lips were so close, I had to talk again if I wanted to keep myself under control. "There is only one girl...one woman, that I need." I felt myself twitch and I moaned. Oh god...it was so difficult to control myself. Her hair smelled like heaven...oh my god...fucking better than heaven. I had to stop sniffing her before she got weirded out. "And I'm meant to protect _her_...not the other way around."

She was the sweetest thing I'd ever laid eyes on. I could see her so clearly in the night thanks to my incredible wolf vision. I smirked as I felt her writhing underneath my touch. I couldn't contain the whimper that escaped me as I held her deathly close.

"Can you feel how much I need you?" What a stupid question. Of course she could feel it. I was practically impaling her tight little stomach with my hard-on. I felt the tip of my member release a bead of fluid at the sound of her angelic voice.

"Yes." She whispered so quietly. I could smell how much she wanted me as she tried desperately to lift herself so she could straddle me.

I was too intoxicated by my need for her and her mouth-watering aroma that I couldn't even smile anymore. I just needed to feel her, I needed to be in her. I was about to tear her clothes off when she spoke.

"Jacob..." She breathed.

_Oh no, she wants me to stop. Shit no..._

"Yes?" I released her and held onto the huge trunk of the tree I had her pinned to. I held it so tight fighting my urge to fuck her senseless I thought I was going to snap it in half.

"Why are you doing that?" Her voice sounded concerned and curious. That's when I realized my eyes were closed. I opened them to see her confused expression. Her full lips were pursed and her brow was creased as I stared down at her. "You can't look at me?"

"Uhh..." I ripped my hands away from the tree, tearing bark from it with my shaking hands and leaving claw marks. I stepped back from her, afraid I was going to scare her because I was a trembling mess. I didn't think she'd want me all up on her when I was covered in dry blood, anyway.

Then I noticed a smirk on her lovely lips and her tongue darted out to wet them. I gulped hard and followed her eyes down to my throbbing erection. I breathed out heavily when I felt her small hand wrap around it and I couldn't suppress the growl that escaped my throat.

My breath hitched when I saw her drop to her knees, opening her mouth, and slowly easing me between her lips. I couldn't help myself, my brain was unable to process what was happening, yet my hands were immediately entangled in her hair as she took me deeper into her mouth.

I whimpered and shivered, feeling as though I was going to collapse in pure pleasure as she tightened her lips around me. I moaned so loud I was sure I scared any animals that had been lurking nearby away. My head fell back and I was looking up into the dark sky with my hooded eyes. The stars were blurry as I was all consumed in the sensational feeling my Bella was bestowing on me with her sweet, pink lips. I jumped when I felt her teeth graze my shaft and I pushed her head harder onto me, moaning pleadingly. She gagged.

"Bella..." I whined as I allowed her to pull back and she swirled her tongue over my aching tip. "I-I'm...ahh...s-sorry..." She suckled on my swollen head so sweetly I could feel myself swelling with my seed.

_No...no...this is too perfect...hold out...fucking hold out, Jake_

"Mmm." She responded with a moan through her nose as she began pumping me with her mouth. The sounds she was making were driving me wild...insane. I bit my lip and looked down at her taking me in and out incredibly deep. I was in awe and complete searing ecstasy as I watched her tongue and lips work my burning rod.

I was trying to control myself, trying my best to keep from hurting her, but I couldn't hold back any longer and I began bucking harshly into her wet, warm mouth. She didn't let up, but tightened her suction on me causing a growl from deep in my chest. I wanted to make her mine, I needed to bend her over and give myself to her with wild undying passion.

"Bella!" I choked and ripped her off my aching, pulsating shaft, swiftly turning her body around. "Hold on to the tree."

"Jake..." She panted my name and it made me ache even more as I watched her curved body stretched out in front of me, her tiny hands clinging to the tree for support. I tore the jeans from her body with a desperate growl and took her beautiful, round cheeks in my hands. I let out a shaky breath as I lined myself up to her delicate, soft, sweet, incredibly wet opening.

This was it. Oh god, I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to feel her tight, soft perfectness embracing me. She was so wet, I slid in, feeling the immense pressure from her slick walls encasing me and I let out a gasp, leaning over her and kissing her shoulder. "Fuck..." I groaned as I forced myself even deeper, feeling my huge staff being suctioned into her. I knew she was squeezing me with her muscles and I squeezed my eyes at the sensation. "Oh...uhh..." I choked and nearly lost my footing.

I held her in place as I began moving within her with such fervor and need as if she was my first meal in a hundred years. The screams and curses and my name spilling from her lips were almost too much to take. Raising my arm above her head, I steadied myself with the tree also, afraid I was going to collapse on top of my angel.

"Sh-shiiiitt Jacob!" She slurred and I became aware of her breath being knocked out with each hungry thrust I gave her. I felt bad but I could not stop myself. A starved, carnal growl escaped me and I couldn't control it. The sounds coming from my chest, my throat, my lips were all wolf. I had my mate and I was giving it to her. I had to give it to her...to take what was mine or I was going to fucking die.

"Yes...yes...yes..." Was all I could cough out as I plummeted to the depths of Bella, feeling my balls slamming against her causing tingles throughout my entire body. I whined helplessly against her shoulder.

"Jake..." She panted and turned her face to me, sweat trickling down her beautiful temple. "Slow down, baby..."

I was so lost in the pleasures of my angel's body, that it took me a minute to comprehend what she was asking me. My hips slowed, but never stopped their assault. I turned my face from her shoulder and looked into her big brown eyes that were darker than usual. I clumsily and hazily nodded in agreement to her request.

Then I really gave it to her deep, and achingly, torturously slow. I almost liked it better that way. I could feel every quiver her walls gave around me. I could feel my head being swallowed achingly slow, over and over again by her moist lips every time I pulled out just to my tip and back in again.

"Ahhhh...Jacob..." She sighed my name and I gently reached between us and tore her shirt down the middle from her body easily as our bodies moved in complete synchronized love. She wasn't wearing a bra and I was thankful that I didn't have to deal with one. My wet heaving chest met her beautiful, smooth, slender back and our bodies slid together beneath the moonlight.

I licked her sweet, but deliciously salty skin of her shoulder, then brushed her hair out of the way, kissing and tasting her neck. I was so lost in extreme bliss that I didn't realize Bella's forehead was taking a rough beating from the tree. I gripped her small, perfect breast in my hand and started to pump her faster, forgetting all about 'slow'.

"_Oh_!" She shrieked.

"Uhhnnngg...shhh..._uhh_..!" I sobbingly moaned, clutching to her with everything inside of me as my hips continued their violent descent, sending me deeper into the smoldering wet cave. "Bella..." I whined against her skin, and fuck it!...my teeth grazed against her soft flesh...her scent begging me to sink my teeth into her...to just do it. What the fuck was wrong with me! My heart sped up from anger and lust together as my thrusts stuttered, my breaths hitting the back of my angel's neck as I fought this war within myself. "N...n...n-no..." I spluttered too close to Bella's ear.

"W-what...oh goddd...what's wrong, J-Jake...?" She panted as my thrusts became faster, my need to bite her stronger, and the tightness painful with the pressure of needing release. My thrusts stuttered again and I was losing rhythm. "Pleease...d-don't sstop!"

I could not contain myself anymore, the way she clenched around me so tight, I threw my head back, my mouth slightly open. I was dizzy and completely at the mercy of this girl, needing her to be mine and nobody else's ... EVER. Needing her to give me the release that I could feel coming up devastatingly fast, blurring my wolf vision, the surge shooting through me, wracking my body into complete and agonizing convulsions as I finally buried my teeth into the back of her neck.

She screamed my name as I shot my hot, white streams into her as I twitched, sinking my teeth deeper with each painful jolt of my orgasm. This was by far the biggest release that I had ever experienced. It was so intense, I finally understood the term 'thin line between pleasure and pain'.

"J-Jake...I...I can't hold up any more...I'm, I'm...I can't..." She began to crumple to the ground but I took her in my arms, still throbbing inside of her, my teeth planted deep into the curve of her neck.

Guilt washed over me so terrible and hardening my heart, that I thought I was going to throw up. I pulled my teeth from her sore, bleeding flesh and couldn't keep the tears at bay. The hot, salty droplets sprung from my eyes, trailing down my face. I didn't know if it was the guilt of hurting her, or the power of the incredible orgasm I had just experienced that had me crying like a fucking baby.

"Bells..." I whispered, shame heavy in my voice as we laid down on our sides on a patch of nearby grass. I slipped out of her smoothly and swiped her blood stained hair off her neck. I looked down at the crescent mark I had made on her beautiful body and felt bile rise in my throat. It matched almost perfectly to the one on my neck, except the one I had caused was perfectly on the dip of her neck.

I began to breathe quick, feeling the dry heaves coming and then I just broke down, silently sobbing into the crook of my angel's neck, kissing her wound, hoping my tears had some healing effect on it as they crashed against her split flesh.

"Jake." Her voice was like an angel's kiss...the most beautiful whisper I'd ever heard and It was almost enough to make my heart stop hurting, but not quite. "Jacob, I understand."

I looked up from her neck, hot tears still burning my eyes and my sobs still trying to escape as she repeated the words again. I didn't understand. How could _she _be okay with this and not me? I let the fucking wolf take over, I let the monster inside of me, the beast that I actually was, get to my Bella. I deserved to be tortured and burned at the stake. How could she accept something like me?

"I love you." I choked and let the sobs take over again, holding her close to me, my naked body keeping hers warm in the cold night air. As if I couldn't get any more messed up, I began licking her wound, cleaning the blood from it. I cursed myself but I just couldn't stop, it was just impulse...natural...like complete instinct to me. Once I took all the blood from her I could smell, I sighed, sobs no longer taking over me, but a sense of soothing peace at being next to my mate.

"Love you, Jake..." She sang quietly before I heard the gentle sounds of her adorable snores filling the forest space around us. I closed my eyes and let my hot tears fall against the grass as I clung to my lifeline, breathing in her strawberry aroma as I drifted off shortly after.


	32. Take a Ride

**NTYP Chapter 32**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

**A/N: **_Thank you all so much for the awesome reviews! As most of you know, writing can be extremely difficult and writer's block happens more often than you could ever imagine. It has unfortunately been happening to me quite a lot lately as my life has been getting in the way of my Jacob-world! ;( (not to mention I had to fight off an ugly flu this week). Lots and lots of herbal tea has helped with my WolfWorld imagination. Ok, so basically I was in a jxb lovin mood, so this chapter is mostly lemony lovin. I hope you like it, and chapter 33 is underway! Quick shout out to the awesome wolfgirls who were so kind enough to leave me some encouragement/opinions. Lots of love to you all! :::_

**_YankeeGirlNJ , Texas' Sweetheart, MJScream, MaryBBlove23, 82c10akaLynn, Pegasus12654, twilight4evr84, jakejunkie, sweetdreams1, goldengirl2707, RealLifeWolfGirl, kissa621, -EnjoyyourJacob-, jharv241, JuztMe25_**

**JPOV - **"Love you, Jake..." She sang quietly before I heard the gentle sounds of her adorable snores filling the forest space around us. I closed my eyes and let my hot tears fall against the grass as I clung to my lifeline, breathing in her strawberry aroma as I drifted off shortly after.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I awoke to the sounds of tree branches scratching against each other, leaves rustling, and someone's loud, deep snoring right next to my ear. I laid there for some time just listening to Jake breathe and remembering the amazing night before. The last thing I remembered was the feeling of Jacob's velvet tongue cleaning my wound, my soft skin his teeth had so viciously assaulted.

As vicious as he had been, I found myself completely turned on by it. At first I had been shocked, but as he rocked against me, the feeling of him clamping down on me with his teeth so hard, so rough, it heightened the entire experience. I couldn't even remember if I had an orgasm, I had been forced to deal with so much pleasure, I couldn't tell where my orgasm began and ended. It was all like one, huge, long, neverending orgasm that took every bit of energy I had stored inside myself just to survive it.

It was involuntary when I found myself wet just thinking about how he felt inside of me, going deeper than I had ever thought possible. I moaned and squirmed causing a grunt from Jacob and his arms to crush me tighter to him. I laughed and turned my head to see if he was awake. That's when I felt the pain.

My hand shot up to touch the crusty and damp indention that still oozed slightly with my blood. I gasped every time I tried to turn my neck, but finally, I just decided to stay as still as possible and not force movement.

He had bit me, but I knew it was not the kind that was meant to hurt me. I told him I understood that he didn't mean to hurt me. I hoped so much that he had not tortured himself over it after I fell asleep. I just couldn't stay awake any more, he had mercilessly taken everything out of me.

My thoughts drifted back to the feeling of him taking me from behind, and I could feel his teeth grazing my skin again. I had found myself wanting him to bite me. He had already imprinted on me, but I wanted his teeth deep in me, I wanted him to _really_ imprint me physically this time. And he did.

My fingers trailed over the crescent wound, and I smiled the brightest smile I think I ever had, feeling my heart swell, butterflies fill my stomach, and my heart leap in my chest. He imprinted me. Only Jacob had those teeth, to leave that personalized mark. I had his symbol on me forever.

Jacob awoke not long after I had, groaning and squeezing me to his hard chest. He kissed my cheek and mumbled a tired 'good morning' before his eyes widened and aimed at my neck. His mouth hung open and his brow scrunched, wrinkling his beautiful face.

He smoothed his hand across my cheeks, kissing me so many times, begging me to tell him I was alright. That silly Jacob...he should've known I was alright by the goofy grin on my face. But his eyes held nothing but sorrow and worry as he snatched me up and started for my house.

Once we got to the backdoor, he set me down gently. I curled my arms around my body, shivering because I was completely naked. My eyes nervously scanned my surroundings in hopes there wasn't a neighbor lurking nearby who would wonder why Isabella Swan was standing outside her house with a tall Indian guy from the reservation, in nothing but their birthday suits. I chuckled and shook my head at the thought and image of us.

"The door's locked." Jacob said, looking down at me with concern. "I can't knock. Your dad can't find us like this."

"I know..." I shivered, my teeth chattering. It was getting colder, the chill in the air was causing bumps all over my skin. I was wondering why Jacob had to stand so far away from me. If I had my way, I would be wrapped around his space-heater-equivalent body unending.

"It looks to be...uhh.." Jacob looked up at the sky. "I'm sure it's past seven o'clock."

"Charlie is almost always out the door before seven, um..." It's not like either of us were willing to waltz into the front yard stark naked and check to see if Charlie's cruiser was still there.

"I can take you to my house if I have to...but I don't want you to freeze..." His eyes were full of worry for me as he stared me down, a deep wrinkle between his eyes.

"No, no. Charlie's probably gone. I'll take my chances. It's freaking cold. Umm...look under the garden gnome." I pried an arm out from around me just long enough to point to the ugly little stone man sitting near us in the midst of half-dead flowers and various other plants. Heh, funny, the little stone man's face resembled Edward's quite closely, I laughed to myself. I quickly returned my arm to hugging me again, my hands under my armpits and I bounced on my heels trying in vain to warm myself.

Jacob bent down and found a single key lying under the weather-beaten stone gnome. He wasted no time unlocking the door and pulling me inside. Then he stepped out to replace the key. When he returned, we tiptoed quickly up the stairs, Jacob rubbing his hands up and down my arms to keep me as comfortable as possible on our way to my bedroom.

At least I thought that was where we were going. Jacob lead me into the hall bathroom, telling me Charlie wasn't home and that he knew because he couldn't smell anybody. Digging through the medicine cabinet and knocking things out all over the place, Jacob grumbled and I frowned wondering what he was up to and wondering who was going to clean up the big mess he was making.

"What's going on, Jake?" I asked impatiently. Okay I could not find any fault in Jacob, but at the moment I was so freaking cold and he was being an annoying hot guy who didn't know the half of what being cold felt like anymore.

"Come on." He told me, his hands full of crap I was too busy shivering to recognize what it all was. He walked me back to my bedroom and told me to get into my bed. I did what he commanded, just happy to have my warm covers again. I wanted him next to me so I could really be warm again.

"P-please, Jacob. Come snuggle. I need you, I'm so c-cold..." I curled into a ball, scrunching up comfortably in my blankets.

"Wait a minute." He told me as he grabbed some clothes from my closet and left the room. When he returned, he climbed onto the bed, still naked, and I couldn't help but watch his body come closer to me. "I threw some clothes in the dryer for you so they'll be warm when you get dressed." He didn't even seem to have noticed me checking him out as he turned my head with his large hands, giving himself a clear view of my neck.

"Oh my God..." I heard him say so low, I almost didn't hear it.

He took the things he had gotten from the bathroom and began cleaning my glistening wound. I watched his face as he fixed me, so intent and concentrating, it made me swell with pride and love for him. I watched his arms flex and his shoulders roll with each movement. The way his hair scraped his forehead made me want to reach out and run my fingers through it.

Then I gasped, causing a hiss from between Jacob's teeth and his eyes darted to mine, worry swirling in the depths of dark chocolate. A small frown turning his full, beautiful mouth.

Whatever he had just done to my neck, it hurt. It hurt a lot, but I didn't want him to worry. I smiled at him to let him know I was alright, yet his face remained firm. His features reflected nothing but love, sadness, and worry. His attention immediately went back to my neck and mine to his beauty as he continued to work on me.

Before I knew it, he was done. I had a bandage covering my wound and he was slipping beneath the covers with me. I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling the immediate tingles all over when he held me. His warmth made me shiver from pure relief of feeling heat against my cold body.

"I love you." He breathed next to my ear, then kissed me carefully on top of my head.

"Jacob." My hands gripped around his searing torso, my fingers pressing into his thick skin, gratefully absorbing the heat. Oh I loved him beyond comprehension. Within a matter of a few months, my best friend had forgotten me and only then to become my lover. At first I had wanted him to be the Jacob I had always known...the Jacob I had been best friends with and unknowingly fell in love with. But then, I was so afraid he was going to wake up and wonder what the hell he was doing in my bed. Why he was with me at all.

I knew that he would not forget anything that had happened since he woke up from the coma, but if he remembered me and Edward...everything I had put him through...and that he was sleeping with me...that he imprinted on me...would he suffer some kind of post-traumatic stress sydrome? I didn't know. My old Jacob was asleep somewhere inside, and deep down I was afraid he was going to wake up...and fear what we had become.

Would he be relieved to find out that my feelings were reciprocated? Would his heart swell as mine does every time I am in the same room with him? I couldn't think about it anymore. Suddenly I had such an immense fear deep inside of my soul that I would lose this perfect boy, this perfect man, my best friend that I now knew I could not live without if I ever were to lose him. My mind hurt to try and wrap itself around the changes my life had taken in such a small period of time and what was possibly in store for our future.

As he sighed against my head, his sweet breath hitting my face in gentle flows, It felt so natural and so right. I slid my leg over his hip, caressing down his leg to touch his foot with mine and back up to his hip again. My lips found his smooth arm, and my mouth started to love him there. As I placed open kisses against his hot flesh, I felt a difference in his body. I couldn't place it, but there was a different feeling in the air between us.

"Bella, please tell me the truth." He blurted out so fast and sudden that I was surprised and confused all at once. I would always tell him the truth. But what truth did he want to know exactly?

"Huh, Jay?" In the pit of my stomach, I could sense he was extremely upset. I looked up at him, his eyes were still sad, the light that usually lit them was fizzled out. "...tell you the truth about what?"

He let out an uncomfortable shaky breath and his eyes frowned as he glanced toward my bandaged neck again. I watched him swallow hard, his adam's apple bobbing before he answered me.

"What did you mean last night.." His deep voice was definitely telling me he was upset. I could feel his body tremble slightly against mine. "When you said...you said you understood...after I.." He started to breathe fast, increasing to almost panic-like panting as he stared down at the sheets covering us. "W-when I...I..." He looked back to my neck and his face twisted. "When I did _that_..." He choked and his chest heaved so hard I was afraid he couldn't breathe...or was going to throw up. "Tell me...how the fuck...you can forgive me...for that."

"Jake..Jacob baby, calm down. I'm fine, please breathe, please Jake." I caressed his face, sliding my fingers down his neck, across his chest and over his shoulders, trying to soothe him. He shook his head and a pained sound ripped through his chest, his shoulders trembling beneath my palms.

When he finally looked up I could see the slight traces of shining liquid in his warm eyes. I cupped his cheek with my hand and his lids closed, releasing a couple drops of his salty sweet tears finding refuge between my fingers.

"I don't know why I did it." He admitted to me, his voice full of emotion and dread. He sniffled and squeezed his red eyes shut, his head still hanging low. "I can't explain to you, Bella...I can't." He shook his head again.

I thought about it for a moment as he released his heartache, holding back no emotions from me. There were zero walls between us, making my insides turn and my eyes sting as his tears dripped down his face, each making small darkened spots on my sheets. "I never want to hurt you." I tried to think of why he would have done it...I wanted to answer the question he thought he owed me the answer to. I had to come up with something, not for my peace of mind, but for his. Why had the fact that he bit me not upset me...scare me at all?

So...we had sex in the woods, he was very...vigorous...and he bit me, sinking his teeth deep within my body as a beastly roar erupted from deep within him. Then it hit me.

He marked me, with his teeth as he released his seed inside of me...and I enjoyed it. Was it part of the imprinting? I was hit with the memory of a conversation Jake and I had had before in his garage. He had told me all about imprinting; how it worked and how it affected the wolves lives. I recalled him mentioning something about 'marking' their mates, but back then I was unfortunately so engrossed in 'Edward' that I paid little attention to anything else.

I knew the last thing Jacob would intentionally do is inflict physical harm on me.

Of course, it all made perfect sense; how I woke up, thinking about him marking me and actually filling with warm fuzzy feelings.

"Jake." I smiled a small, sweet smile, taking his face in my hands and coaxing him to look at me. "Jake, don't you see?"

He looked completely conquered, heart and soul, he reached to me and stroked my hair with his strong hands. His breaths faltered as I continued to give him a small grin to try and ease his mind.

"Don't I see?" He questioned me, his voice cracking and barely there.

"Yes." I nodded and smoothed his cheeks with my thumbs.

"What?" He searched my eyes and face. "The most beautiful woman in the world? Yes. I see her."

I let out an airy laugh and kissed his tear-wet, salty sweet lips. "Jake...I'm your mate." He stared at me like he didn't know where I was going with this. I sighed roughly and scooted closer to him on my knees. "What do male wolves do to their mates?" Okay, in all honesty, I wasn't sure if wolves out in the wild actually marked their mates...but I knew these wolf-men did.

His wide eyes stared into mine, begging me for more information. I sighed. "You bit me...and I...I liked it." He winced at those words and growled. "You marked me, you wolf." My voice was playful in hopes he would stop beating himself up. I scratched his face with my nails gently, hoping my attempt at easing his heart was working, or at least distracting from his torment.

At first he looked at me like I was crazy, but then his eyes loosened and a look of understanding finally graced his face. He smiled reluctantly, but there was still worry hiding underneath. "Bella." He whispered.

"You marked me, Jacob." One of my hands rested over his hard breast and one took his, placing it over my soft one. I could hear a rumble in his chest and his breaths were quick again, his nostrils flaring, his eyes darkening and scanning over my nude body. I hoped the gesture, our hands over each other's hearts, told him just how I was feeling at that moment.

I could not find words, I was so overwhelmed with love and amazement, and utter joy at having this incredible being's mark on me forever. His love with me forever. I felt my own warm tears find their own trails down my face. Jacob's eyes were still wet when he leaned into me.

My hands found his thick, ebony tangles as I cradled his head, his teeth and moist lips caught my mouth carefully yet with fever. His large, burning hands held tightly to my back, pushing me, bringing me hard against his padded, muscular body.

"Yes, Jake. Again. Please..." I moaned as his canines drug slowly over my chin and down my neck. "Yes." I whined.

"No." He groaned and kissed me up the length of my tender throat, avoiding where it hurt and ending at my begging mouth. "Just once." His hot, steaming mouth covered mine, and he groaned as he sucked, that hot wet tongue clumsily gliding over and in between my lips. He tasted so good, I only hoped he enjoyed me as much as I enjoyed him...the flavor_, the sweet taste._

Noo, not just once. I wanted his teeth to sink into me again, resulting in excited endorphins releasing into my brain. I wanted that high again. Our lips stayed connected as I found my way into his lap. I pressed my body hard enough against his to give him the signal to lay down. As soon as his back hit the soft cotton of my sheets, I splayed myself above him, on top of him, feeling his fiery skin against my skin, his leaking manhood nestled between my soaked slit.

The side of my face pressed against his smooth, heaving chest, my ears taking in each pound of his fast-beating heart was consuming me, the desire to have his heat, his warmth, his flesh and blood inside of me was making my body tremble, my throat choking on the butterflies and love I felt for Jacob Black. Oh if only he knew that he had me all for himself, if my old Jacob would wake up, he would remember, and I hoped to God when/if he did, he would embrace me the way I had craved and prayed for since I knew I loved him on the mountain top.

His breathing was loud and sweet and heavy as he hugged my body to his, sending me such tender feelings of adoration through his touches. The love he had for me was undeniable, his feelings for me impossible to not feel through the gentleness of his fingertips, so perfect and so assuring. Just having him hold me was enough to make me explode from the immense emotions he brought out of me. If he loved me so completely now, I could only imagine what love would pour from him when my best friend awoke from the deep, dark, hidden place in his mind that was so evil to keep that passionate love from me that I knew only Jacob Black, my best friend could release upon me.

"Jacob." I moaned, imagining he remembered me and everything we were...everything we had been through. I reached down and shifted my lower body, taking his rock hard, enormous, throbbing member in my small hand. I took a deep breath and without moving my face from his hot chest, I lowered my hips, my body down onto the thick, wet mushroom head. Feeling the soft and hard sensation easing into me, my walls swallowing my best friend and lover slowly until I felt nothing but thick, hard, beautiful pressure traveling the tight course within me. He parted his beautiful, satiny lips, releasing my name in a long moan.

Gripping his massive shoulders in my hands, I closed my eyes and panted hard with each rise and fall of my hips, feeling his pulsing thickness hitting the deepest spot in me, shooting a delicious spasm in my brain each time I came down on him hard with a grunt.

"Ungh...uuhhckk...mmff..." I choked, pressing my open mouth against his firm skin. I squeezed my eyes tightly, cutting my nails into his sides, sucking on the wet, salty, sweet skin of his hard chest. My tongue escaped and swiped desperately at his flavor, my tongue tingling at the taste and lapping for more of him. I felt his large hands grip my ass and assist in moving me in the most beautiful rhythm that was ever possible. "Uhhhhgoddd..." My voice was deep and raspy, my eyes going blurry at the submission to the incredible pleasure.

"Ohh..._huh_!" Jake cried out and lifted me all the way up, shoving me back down with a wild urgency, digging his fingers into my plump flesh. "Oh yeah..yes...yeah _fuck_ me..._i love you_..." His breathing was erratic, his body beaded with sweat that I quickly took up with my tongue.

I sat up slowly rocking my body over his, my head tilted to the side, my hair wet from both our excretion. I slid my hands over his hardened wet nipples and licked my palms. He bit his lip watching me do it again and he copied me, his large hand kneading my breast and then sucking his digits between his plump lips, tasting my salty-sweetness.

"Jake..." I looked down into his hooded, love and lust filled eyes that were swimming with the many feelings I was giving him as I continued rocking my hips as if I were a cowgirl trying to speed up my stallion. "Jake.." I whined. "I'm...I'm _riding you_."

"Ungghh... YES ...Ohh god, baby..." His eyes rolled hazily and then closed. "...I _know_...ahh" He drew out breathless, his glistening torso muscles scrunching each time I ground into him. Oh, I smiled to myself, so filled with joy that I could bring him pleasure when he only knew pain for so long on my account. I was never going to be the cause of his pain again. He would hopefully never remember any of that time in his life. It was better for him to not remember our past, no matter how much I missed that part of him.

I felt his body go rigid, his thickness inside of me swelling to fill me even more. His face was flushed a deep scarlet and I knew he was going to plant his perfect gene juice deep into me but I wanted to do something else. I came up off of him, releasing his length with a pop from between my tight muscles. He whimpered and looked up helpless and longingly at me, begging me not to stop with his eyes. His hands reached for my body.

I stayed straddling him, gripping his huge, swollen rod in my hands and began pumping him, strong and long movements. He moaned and grabbed my wrist. "Yes..._oooh-hhhh_...don't...stop..." His voice was breathless, grating and begging. He released my wrist and pulled his hair, licking his lips, his chest rising and falling harshly. He looked down as I looked up at him, his heavy eyes staring straight at my busy hands, the wet sounds slopping between my fingers and his heated organ.

The full veins underneath my palms pulsed against my skin and I could sense he was going to release for me soon. I couldn't wait. I needed to feel the sticky warmth coating me, I didn't care where. I just wanted to watch it shoot out of him, I wanted to see how many times it would ejaculate into the air before it landed...hopefully on me.

"B-Bell...uhhh.._.Bells_..." He whimpered huskily, his head rolling from side to side. "Ahhh..."

"DO IT." I shouted, moving my hands faster, my arms aching from the hard work and fast pace. He reached out, holding his breath and took a fistfull of my hair in his hands, tugging my head closer to him, crazy with desire as I continued pumping him. He released my hair and gasped the breath out of his lungs wildly, his face scrunching as his head met my pillow, his back arching, his hands digging into my mattress and tearing a large portion out, an ear-shattering roar erupting from his throat.

I was too lost in the most erotic thing I'd ever witness staring at Jacob writhing in front of me, that I missed how many times his sweet, white streams hit my breasts, my chin. The way he thrashed around from the pleasure I caused him made my own muscles tremor, shaking me from the inside out as I was overcome with a powerful orgasm. He jerked beneath me as I slowly and painfully milked him for all he offered me, he moaned pleadingly, my torn mattress and ripped sheet still in the clutch of his fists. My hand slowed as I tried not to get lost in my own release when all I wanted was to watch Jacob.

My aching arms gave and my hands released him finally as I panted, trying to catch my breath, my folds drenched from my climax, watching his chest rise and fall, his body sprawled out in complete exhaustion before me. After a moment, I thought he was going to fall asleep, but his hands opened, releasing the ripped fabric and stuffing. He slowly turned his head to look at me and sat up.

He took my hand, pulling me onto his lap and taking my breast into his hot mouth. I gasped and held his head in my hands as he suckled me sweetly, his mouth opening and closing, lapping at my nipples. He brought his lips up to mine and as soon as I smelled his sweet juice on him, I devoured his lips, moaning for more, cleaning him of all traces of his deliciousness. He smiled against my lips, our teeth meeting briefly. I shrieked and gripped Jacob tightly when the phone rang...startling both of us. Damn...I wanted him to lick me clean of both our juices. Ugh! But what if this stupid phone call is important.

I ran down stairs and took the phone off the hook. "Hello?" I tried not to sound out of breath.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

Oh my god, what did she just do to me? I thought I was going to die from the inhuman, mind-blowing, penis-blowing, pleasure of massive explosion! A stupid grin was all I could offer as I rose from the bed, wobbling down the stairs...still in an incredible daze from what Bella just gave me.

"Jacob!" She screamed, running from the kitchen, her eyes wide as saucers.

"Whoa! What's going on, Bells?" I asked, my mind no longer hazy.

"My dad is going to be here in ten minutes! Leah is missing and he's coming..h-he wants to talk to you !"

We stared at each other for a moment, neither one of us knowing what to do or maybe we were just experiencing a sex-hang-over if there even was such a thing.

Hell, what the fuck was Leah doing missing? I couldn't worry about that. I had to find some clothes and quick. First, I ran up to Bella's room, flipping her mattress over and hiding the ripped sheets and mattress stuffing as she rinsed my cum from her chest and face. Just as I had the last of the bedroom fixed to almost the way it was before, Bella came in with more of her dad's clothes for me. She tried covering my bandaged mark with her hair, but I wasn't sure how well we could hide it from Charlie. I was pulling on the blue t-shirt, Bella slipping on her fresh-from- the - dryer - pants as we heard the front door open.

"JA-COB!"


	33. Unsound Mind

**NTYP Chapter 33**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

**_A/N: This is all Jake's POV ...more inner turmoil for our poor,sweet wolf. Thanks for the reviews, everyone! They make the rough days so much easier to endure when I have your words to read when I get online. xoxoxo!-DGMU_**

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

**Oh my god, what did she just do to me? I thought I was going to die from the inhuman, mind-blowing, penis-blowing, pleasure of massive explosion! A stupid grin was all I could offer as I rose from the bed, wobbling down the stairs...still in a daze from what Bella had just given me.**

**"Jacob!" She screamed, running from the kitchen, her eyes wide as saucers.**

**"Whoa! What's going on, Bells?" I asked, my mind no longer hazy.**

**"My dad is going to be here in ten minutes! Leah is missing and he's coming..h-he wants to talk to you !"**

**We stared at each other for a moment, neither one of us knowing what to do or maybe we were just experiencing a sex-hang-over if there even was such a thing.**

**Hell, what the fuck was Leah doing missing? I couldn't worry about that. I had to find some clothes and quick. First, I ran up to Bella's room, flipping her mattress over and hiding the ripped sheets and mattress stuffing as she rinsed my cum from her chest and face. Just as I had the last of the bedroom fixed to almost the way it was before, Bella came in with more of her dad's clothes for me. She tried covering my bandaged mark with her hair, but I wasn't sure how well we could hide it from Charlie. I was pulling on the blue t-shirt, Bella slipping on her fresh-from- the - dryer - pants as we heard the front door open**.

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

"JA-COB!"

Oh shit. Bella's father sounded pissed and I wasn't in the mood to deal with it. The only thing I could think about was how much I loved her as I watched her small hands combing through her beautiful hair. Bella was still trying to catch her breath after the awesome ride she had given me. I could still smell her arousal and I knew it was going to be difficult for me to keep my head straight. How was I going to stop myself from pouncing her? I could not lose control in front of her dad, but I wasn't sure just how far my self control could go.

"I'll go talk to him, I love you." My angel said lovingly as she kissed me on the mouth and then nervously brushed her hair over her shoulder, trying to hide my...ugh...mark. I watched her leave the room and then I heard the beautiful echo of her voice as she greeted her father quite cheerfully. I sighed and looked back at the bed where I had thrown the torn, dirty sheets and mattress underneath, along with a shattered lamp I had found lying at the foot of the bed. Not too far from the lamp, I found a note that said "I knew it would look good on you."

I tried to ignore the twisting in my stomach and the questions that filled my brain as to who the note was from, why her things were broken, and why the room had a faint sweetness tinging the delicious scent of our sex. I frowned and looked down at the crumpled paper in my hand just as I heard Bella call me from downstairs.

"I'll...be right there." I said too lowly for her to hear me. I stuffed the note into my pocket and remembered I still had Sam's blood on me. I went into the hall bathroom, splashed some water on my face in haste to get cleaned and down there. Shit, there was no need for Charlie to see me like I had just stepped out of a horror film. I was a ball of crazy nerves and I felt if it were at all possible for my body to explode from anxiety, it was going to. When I thought all traces of red had been cleaned from my skin, I dried myself with the towel hanging on the shower rod, then rushed out the bathroom door. The smell of blood still lingered in my nose and I tried to shake it out of my mind.

I shuffled downstairs quickly, my stomach in knots. Charlie's gaze immediately shot to mine as I stepped off the last step. We stood there staring at each other for a few seconds before he spoke.

"How are you doing, son?" He asked me, but I could tell he was just itching to get to the real issue he had gone there for.

"I'm good. Thanks."

"That's great." He nodded and then scratched his head, exhaling loudly. "Jacob, what did you do to Leah?"

At first I stood there like a dumbass, not sure if I had even heard him correctly. Then I finally made myself speak up. "What?" I questioned stepping forward. "I did nothing to her." I couldn't believe that he would look at me as the culprit to her disappearing. "What's this about? She is missing?" No no no, he was NOT going blame me for this.

"Your father called me. He says Sue Clearwater is distraught, crying her eyes out and having a nervous breakdown over her daughter just disappearing in the middle of the night."

_Sue Clearwater? Uhhh, _ I started wracking my brain.

"Son, if you know where she is, I'd appreciate it if you'd save me the trouble and just give me the details..."

"I don't know where she is. How would I know where she is?"

"According to Billy, you were the last person to speak with her. Now she has left some note saying she skipped town, that she can't deal with everything." I swallowed hard trying to ingest the words. "What the hell did you say to her, Jacob?" His voice was loud and I almost recoiled, but I could see the pain and anguish in his eyes. He cared about Leah a lot, or perhaps her mother, I got the gut feeling.

I felt Bella's arm clinging to mine as I answered him, making my voice come out as calmly as I could. "Mr. Swan, I promise you I didn't do a thing to Leah. Do you know how messed up she is? The girl's probably on a suicide mission. Why aren't _you _out looking for her, officer!" I felt myself shaking as Bella pet my arm. _Don't phase don't don't don't... Oh dear, sweet Bella. _I smiled inwardly when I felt her hands tighten their grip on my arm. She would always be there for me_. _But damn, I suddenly felt like shit for raising my voice to her father.

"Listen Jacob, I'm just worried. I thought maybe you knew something of her whereabouts. I know she's of legal age to be on her own, but her mother is having a meltdown. After Harry died..." His voice became quiet. "She doesn't want to lose anyone else." I heard his voice break and I knew If I looked up, his eyes would not be dry.

"Sorry, sir. I said I don't know where she is...and I did not harm her or do anything that would make her split." Or at least I hoped I wasn't the reason she left. Damnit, Bella's father was starting to cry now, I could smell the tears. My stomach sank fast. Maybe I could have prevented this whole thing. Maybe I should have made sure Leah was actually alright before I left her. I guessed she wasn't ready for the beta thing...but she seemed stronger than this...I really thought my decision would be good for her.

If nobody knew where Leah was, then she wasn't phasing. It still fucking disturbed me how I thought about that shapeshifting shit as if it were normal. But for something like me, it _was_ normal. I growled under my breath. _Better get used to it, freak. _I cringed.

She could get hurt and it would be all my fault. She was out there all alone...mentally and emotionally weak. By giving her the beta position, I had given her an opportunity to feel important, needed, in charge of that suck-ass shithead, Sam. I just wanted to help her, damnit. Maybe I didn't know her as well as I thought I did. This was all my fault. Why did she leave? Was she going to try and hurt Bella again? Did she really have that in her?

_I have to protect Bella, I shouldn't have trusted he__r...fuck, I shouldn't have trusted her_

My chest was tightening and I could feel the blood boiling inside of my veins. The heat pricking beneath my skin was hurting, but I kept my composure, not daring Charlie see me lose it.

_I'm so sorry for not protecting you, Bella. I should've killed Leah as soon as I heard she wanted to harm you. I don't give a damn if she is my sister. _My throat was closing in on me now.

"I can't get a search party out looking for her since she's not a child, so all we can do is keep an eye out and our ears open." He said as Bella walked over and wrapped her arms around him. "I was just on my way to spend some time with Sue and stopped here, hoping Jake had some answers. Guess I could have spoke to him over the phone, but I wanted to see you Bells. You didn't come back home last night. I was worried when I called and you sounded out of breath..."

"Do you want me to go with you, dad? " She changed the subject and I was grateful. Charlie smiled down at her.

"No, Bells."

"I can come with you if you think she needs..."

"She'll be alright, I'm going to take her to lunch later."

"Ohhh, I see how it is dad." She winked up at him, curling her lips into a sweet sweet grin.

For a moment It warmed my heart to see the love that Bella shared with her father. A stupid twinge shot through my stomach and it caught me off guard as I thought about my own dad. The slight jealousy I felt was eating at me that Bella knew her father enough to love him; would I ever share that with my dad? I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, knowing I could make more effort to bond with Billy. I froze when I heard Charlie's angry voice.

"What happened to your neck, Bells?"

_Shit_

He took her face in his hands and tilted her head back, causing her hair to fall out of the way. "My God, what happened to your face." He whispered and I felt my insides swimming. Bella's forehead and right cheek were terribly scratched up and it wasn't pretty. I could almost see the realization in his eyes before his gaze swung to me and down to my hands.

Maybe it was nerves, I didn't fucking know why but for some reason, I suppose on panicked reaction, I curled my hands and placed them at my sides, sliding them slightly behind my back. Shit why the fuck did I do that? It just made me look guilty.

"What is that on your hands, Jacob?" He asked, his face twisting as he watched me closely. I was trembling and it was probably impossible for him not to notice. I wanted to look at my hands, but I was afraid. Had I not washed them good enough? Was there still traces of what I had done to Sam on my hands? I had been too focused on washing my face and not the rest of me.

I folded my arms in front of my chest so as to not seem awkward, but I think It did the complete opposite. I couldn't hide, I couldn't hide my hands, I couldn't hide anything. Why was I even trying? I was absolutely breaking down inside, but I would not show it. _Fuck fuck fuck. _I wasn't going to tell him I nearly killed Sam Uley.

_Oh Bella._ I could sense her nervousness, I could almost feel it resounding in the space around us, coming off of her in waves as she stared into my terrified eyes and I knew she could see them darkening with fear. I wanted to run but my feet stayed planted and my head was hurting and pounding so intense, I was nauseated. I couldn't just flee from the situation but I didn't know what to do so I just stood there looking stupid and guilty of murder. Her father's face was increasingly becoming more irate by lack of an answer on our parts.

"Bella, come with me. Wait outside Jacob. DON'T leave this property. You're next." He stated coldly in a very authoritative tone as he released his daughter and brushed past her into the kitchen.

Bella gave me the most horrified look, mouthing 'I don't know what to say' before following him around the corner. If she took the bandage off and he saw what I had done, I knew I was going to puke. My stomach was already churning from the anxiety. I wanted to go with her, to explain to her father that I was the cause of her injury and I was so sorry for what I had done and that I knew his daughter deserved better and that he could punish me to his heart's content if it would just make things better. I did not think she had it in herself to lie to her dad, I expected her to be completely honest and I was falling apart.

Did he know what I was? God I hoped so. I wanted the man's trust, and I wanted to marry his daughter someday, but he would never trust me if he thought I abused her, much less accept the thought of us getting married. Maybe we could run away and elope. My heart tightened in my chest. All I could do was take a seat on the bottom of the staircase and listen to their conversation.

"Bella...!" I heard him whisper fiercely. "Did Jake do something to you? Did he hurt you?" I held my head in my hands as I listened.

"No, Char...Dad!"

"Bella, you don't need to lie to me now. I don't think I was hallucinating when I saw what was on his hands." He whispered even louder.

_Shit, fuck, oh my god. How could I be so stupid? _

I finally looked down at my hands, and sure enough, there under my nails, in between my vibrating fingers was what I feared to see. It was disgusting. The blood had darkened to almost black, in some areas brown. Nasty, congealed and crusty. My stomach lurched at the sight. My arms and face were clean, but I should have fucking washed between my fingers better, my hands better, my nails fucking better. I should have focused on getting in between the creases. _Shit no_

I felt panic like I never had before, wondering what I was going to do, what I could possibly say to Charlie. I felt terrible guilt like I had something to keep hidden, yet I knew Sam had deserved every bit of the beating I gave him. I smirked for a split second thinking about how his split lip quivered when I took my place as alpha male.

_Please God don't let her dad kill me when he sees what I did to her_, I rocked back and forth, breathing heavily and feeling myself begin to sweat. _Fuck,_ I'm_ the wolf. I can't be killed by that small little cop dude_

_Alpha male...alpha...alpha...I am strong, I am strong, I am alpha now, I am strong, stay strong Jake. Keep it together Jake_

Bella's voice interrupted my thoughts. "W-when I left last night to see Jacob, I-I-I had to go through the forest, and and... I ran into a tree branch." Oh great, she was stuttering. Did she always do that when she lied? I could feel my stomach do flips as her father's voice replaced hers.

"Where the hell is your truck?"

"Itsss...uhhh...Quil and Jake promised they would do some repairs for me...work on it, you know, it's old and it's been acting up, it's in his g-g-garage..."

I heard Charlie respond without words, only a sigh.

I waited and waited, and when all I could hear was silence for the most painstakingly long time, I fought the urge to run in there, grab Bella, and take us both somewhere to be alone together. I thought they had finished talking when Charlie started up again.

"How is he capable of just jumping right back into things that he used to do...?"

"He's remembering stuff, dad. You never spend time with him so you don't know..."

"Bells, if that boy hurt you...so help me..." _Fuck him for thinking I would hurt her...oh god I didn't want to._ "You know what I will have to do_." _What the hell? I was shaking uncontrollably.

"Daddy! No!"

"Please, Bella. Be honest with me." I could hear the love, utter hopelessness and fear in her father's voice. He thought I was a criminal, with blood on my hands. Either Leah's blood, his daughter's...or both.

"I'm safer with Jake than with anybody else!"

"Bells, I realize you might have discovered your true feelings after he saved you from those sons of bitches at the beach, and I will always owe him for that. Under normal circumstances I would be praising God almighty that you have come to your senses about him, but not today, Bells, I can't say that it's for the better any more. Honey, my line of work has given me the knowledge to know what I am looking at right in front of me, and Bells what do you think this looks like to me?"

"I know what it looks like, Dad, but it's not what you think."

"I love Jake as much as you do, don't doubt it...but baby, I gotta do what's right and when I come home, seeing you looking like this after walking out the door last night, spending almost all of your time with a confused young man suffering Amnesia..."

"He's getting better...!"

"A young girl is missing after last being seen with Jake, now you are injured and bleeding. Honey, don't you know the Jacob we love is not that boy out there?"

"Don't even say that...!"

"When I found out Leah Clearwater was missing and that Jacob was last to be with her, do you know what went through my mind? I thought about you! I thought about how I would feel if it were you that was missing, Isabella Marie, and I swear I don't think I would forgive myself if I allowed something to happen to you. I can just hear your mother now..."

"I don't think he did anything to her, Dad...and Jake would never..."

"Bells, what if Jacob did do something to Leah?" I shook my head at the sound of his voice, my brain aching worse every second I sat at the bottom of those stairs. He truly believed I did something to that girl. " I come home... and, and look at your neck, blood is seeping through that bandage, Bells. You need to go to a damn hospital, Bells! I want to know what happened to you last night, Bells...!"

The whimpers coming from my angel were killing me slowly and I would have rather been at the darkest depths of the sea with water filling my lungs than to hear more, but I couldn't bring myself to leave.

"I told you already!"

"That's it, where is my rifle..."

"Daddy, stop! Please don't!"

"Bella..." His voice softened. "If he did not do this to you, then who did? A tree branch can't cause that much blood."

"I promise, Jake did not hurt me." Her voice shook weakly.

"Look, Bells...maybe...I mean...he just woke up from being in a coma for so many months. Jake might have something to do with Leah's disappearance and I'm afraid. I am freaking out here, Bella! Amnesia sufferers can show signs of violence and I never would have suspected Jake would be one of the few..."

"Oh my god!" She shrieked. "Jacob is not _violent_."

"Did the tree branch attack your face, too?" He shouted. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but Sam might be right. I don't think you should be around each other so much so soon. I just don't think I should trust him right now, especially around my girl."

"He is the one who put this bandage on my neck, Dad. Jacob does not want to hurt me. No, don't touch it!" She squealed.

"Fine, but if I find out he did that to you, there will be hell to pay. You better not be coming home injured almost every damn night like you did when you were dating Edward. Hell, I never thought I'd say this." Whatever he was about to say was hurting him, I could sense it and hear it in his pained voice. I could feel the tickle of sweat sliding down my temple, my fist against my lips as I listened silently in anticipation, my chest constricting. "I trust Edward more than I do Jake, and that kills me, Bells."

There are no words to describe what I felt at that moment. Every muscle in my body went rigid, my teeth ground together, my jaw twitched and my eyes began to burn. I could feel the flame deep in the pit of me, the wolf howling in demand to get out. I wanted to rip something apart, dear god I had to tear something to shreds or I was going to go mad. Why did everyone want to take her away from me? How could he trust that fucking vampire?

"I don't want to see Edward ever again. It would just be better, trust me." Her small voice replied.

_Thank you _I closed my eyes and breathed.

"Bella, if you want me to believe you...if you are honestly telling me the truth, then I guess I..."

"Please dad, trust me. Jake is innocent."

"I don't know what to think anymore." Charlie sighed in defeat.

"Can you imagine what he is feeling right now? He doesn't deserve anything that has happened to him, daddy. He needs your trust, don't you know that? How could you accuse him of hurting people? Of hurting me? I will not leave him alone. His life has handed him the shit card, and I am not going to just sit and watch him slowly die like I used to. He's my best friend."

_What is she talking about? Watch me die? What..._

"I don't know what to say..." Charlie moaned in defeat.

"I'm not that person who takes and takes anymore. Finally I'm giving him what he has always wanted and what he's always deserved. I'm in love with him!"

_Oh baby I love you too _I gripped the staircase railing.

"Bells, you can't be so sure...you don't know him..."

"You don't know him, so shut up! Go see your stupid lover, _Sue_, and just move in with her already. I don't need this, dad! I'm going to Jake's and I'm not coming back."

"Don't you go moving in with that boy, Bella. Not yet. _Please._" Charlie sounded like he was on the verge of tears. "Can't you see that I'm just looking out for you? I may not be the world's best father, but I love you and don't want to see you get hurt. I'm not telling you to remove Jacob from your life, I'm asking you to wait. I can't say that I know what he is going through, because you are the only person he seems to wanna be around, so just give me an opportunity to have him evaluated at least..."

"He doesn't have mental problems...GOD!"

"I didn't say he's mental, Bells, but honey I see this sort of thing often, and as much as it hurts you to hear this, people suffering Amnesia have seriously been known to become violent and in some cases, have killed..."

I didn't know what to think. I was in pure shock listening to it all, I squeezed my eyes shut and felt the nausea hit my stomach full force.

"Jacob is not a murderer...please stop saying this...Leah left a note, she wanted to go...I got cut on a fricking tree..."

"Baby, why would she just up and leave? I mean, even Sue said she had recently seemed happier than usual?"

"Please, can we talk about this when Jacob is not here?"

"Bells, everyone knows you are the description of a klutz, but if you only cut yourself on a tree, why won't you let me look at it?"

"Not right now. You just can't, I'm sorry. It hurts too much when it is touched."

"Oh come on, Bells. Don't protect him like this. I will be easy on him, I swear. Just let me see it..."

"Don't!"

"Bella, when you end up missing like Leah, and we find both of your dead bodies amongst the boulders down at Second Beach..."

"No! Jacob did not kill Leah or fake the stupid note, oh my god, dad, how could you even say this? Think this? Did you just say dead bodies? Do you know what you're saying about Jake? How... I don't even...you know he is probably listening to us right now!"

"Baby, look at you. You are my baby girl! This is not him, Bells. This is not Jake. He would not do this to you."

"Please, dad. It's nothing, just leave it alone. Ow, don't touch it, that hurts!" Her voice was misery.

_Oh jesus christ I love her! I would never hurt her, not now, not ever. I didn't mean to hurt her! Its not my fault I'm a fucking wolf! Oh god, sweetheart don't sound that way. Mr. Swan I just want to love her. I am remembering things, I am. Things are coming back to me. I'm not bad, I'm not bad, I'm not. Fuck I want to kill something. Shit help me spirits if you exist. Maybe I **am **capable of murder_

"Honey, I love Jacob like my own son..." I heard the rustle of their clothes and I knew they were embracing. Then I heard Charlie's quick, breathy sobs."... but he is dead right now, sweetie, do you understand?"

I wondered if I went outside, would my ears continue to torture me? Would I still have to hear more of this shit? I covered my ears and held my head.

"No. He is in there, I can see remnants of him, Daddy ! He was gone at first, but he shows his face sometimes, and my heart bursts and I have so much hope..." She moaned.

Damnit, I wanted to go in there and hold her...but it wasn't me who she wanted holding her. It was the me who had a past with her, memories with her, and a friendship that I had no knowledge of. I didn't care if I wasn't fucking welcome. She was the only person I cared about and she needed me. Her soul was calling for me. I almost found the strength to pull myself up and actually take her away from her father who, it killed me to admit it to myself, knew what was best for her.

_Fuck Leah, Fuck Sam, Fuck the pack, Fuck Charlie, and Fuck that douche Edward. When I get my hands on him..._

Nobody wanted to give me a chance, and it wasn't fair. I understood how they missed me, but I was not just going to hang out with everybody in Washington like they were my best friends when it didn't feel right. How could they all expect me to just be the same again? It wasn't fucking my fault! I hadn't asked for any of it to happen. It was not fair. I wasn't ready to be what they all wanted me to be; the perfect son, the perfect wolf, the perfect pack member, the perfect Alpha, the perfect friend, the perfect brother and the perfect guy for Bella. That was just it. I would never be the perfect guy for Bella. I had way too many issues.

They hadn't given me enough time to adjust before they all thought I was doing crazy shit like killing people or hurting Bella. Maybe I was being paranoid and thinking everyone was out to get me...but it sure as hell felt that way.

Was I just lying to myself? Did Bella not love me the way I thought she did? When she told me those three words, was she telling the old me and not _**me**_? Everything had been going so right. Things felt right. The day before, I had felt power I never thought was even attainable, and then there I was sitting in agony, feeling like the biggest outsider, the guy nobody trusted and nobody could love because I was not the same as I used to be. Why couldn't I just fucking remember? Was it God's...the spirit's...the devil's cruel way of making me see a few little flashes of unimportant memories, just to leave me wishing and begging and hoping I would remember more? Perhaps the parts of my life that would make me feel like I belonged somewhere in the world?

_What's the fucking big deal! Just give me more time! Jesus christ! Please! Just give me more time. Please..._

I inwardly begged for a chance...so that everyone could see this Jake was a good guy and maybe they could learn to love this Jake, too. I was just getting to know the pack, and I was fucking ready to take on my role as Alpha, but now I didn't know what to do. My heart ached and I found I had to betray my needs, deny what I wanted and agree with Mr. Swan. I had to leave Bella alone for her own good. I fought back the sting in my eyes and the sobs that were straining against my ribcage, trying to rip their way through.

If it weren't for Bella, if she hadn't been there by my side every moment after I woke up, I knew I would have probably been in my bedroom, curled into a ball on my bed, withering away to nothing until I died without a care to what life I would be leaving behind. She saved me.

_My angel_

A small, sad smile crept upon my face.

"Daddy, I love him..."

"Oh _Bella..." _I groaned into my hands as I listened to her sweet voice flowing against her lips. My heart hurt in a bittersweet way when she said those three words again.

"I love him..."

"I know baby, I know...which is why you need to give him some time. Let him alone for a while. Billy said he has barely spent any time with him and is worried about his condition. What if he needs psychiatric help, honey? He has not even been to a real hospital, just that Cullen's place... and for some reason, something irks me about that family." He sighed. "God, Look at you, Bells. The Jake we loved... would not make you bleed like this. Your cheekbone is bruised too, my God, Bells. Jacob would not do this to you. "

_You're wrong. Everything about me hurts her. She should be with a man...not me. Not an animal._

I couldn't make my lungs take in any air, and I didn't try to make them. My tender Bella was injured to the point where I knew it was abuse, and I was not going to make my angel be in an abusive relationship_. _My eyes burned and rimmed with tears, but they would not fall from my eyes. The disgust I felt inside that was aimed soley at myself was all I could think about as I tried not to phase.

"I think we should get a second opinion. I'll take Jake to the clinic myself if I have to, Bells. I just want to make sure you are safe with him."

I could hear Bella's heart beating furiously, and it matched mine. When I didn't hear her reply to her father, I was afraid she was beginning to believe him. She knew that I was dangerous for her. Why did I have to imprint on somebody that was so incredibly easy to love yet so impossible to love? Fate be damned making me imprint on her! Why couldn't I have imprinted on someone indestructible? Like another wolf? But fuck, I needed her. I rubbed my face, wishing I had died instead of woke up.

"Don't take him there to that place!" Her precious voice rang through the still house. "I can't stand to think of him surrounded by white and that nasty smell and all those people in white coats! Please. Jake would not hurt me. He wouldn't...he wouldn't..." She trailed off into quiet sobs.

"Please, can I at least take you to the hospital?"

"No. No, I'm...I'm alright..."

"Bells, how can you...?"

"I said I'm alright! Just...please, give Jake a break. None of this is his fault."

"Alright, honey, alright. I'll give him a break, but only if you let me take you to the hospital..."

"I said no, dad!"

"Well..." Charlie sighed. "I'm trusting that he did not do this to you...because I want you to know I honor your word. I owe you that much respect now. Aw now, don't cry, Bells..."

There was no way I could listen to any more, I forced myself up, barely able to escape out the front door, falling to my knees on the concrete steps. I did scrape her beautiful face against that godforsaken tree, I did pierce her flesh like a steel blade, I did injure her, so badly. I sank down and I prayed and prayed to whatever higher power that would listen, begging for my soul to be taken away so I could not hurt her anymore.

* * *

_**A/N: Next chapter is written, it's just being cleaned up. It will be posted soon ;D**_

_**xoxo**_

_**dgmu**_


	34. A Father's Love

**NTYP Chapter 34**

**DISCLAIMER: Steph Meyer Owns All Things Twilight!**

_**A/N: This chap starts off with Leah's POV and what's going on with her. Her story becomes important later! Thanks for r&r and I hope you enjoy -**_

* * *

**Leah's POV**

I was tired and hungry, and my car was running out of gas. It took me 15 whole minutes after turning off the interstate exit just to find a stupid gas station with pumps that weren't out of order.

Driving all night had definitely taken it's tole on me, and I felt craptastic. After Jake had called me 'Beta' the day before, I thought I was going to have a heart attack. That was what I had always wanted...for everyone to take my orders. For me to be Jacob Black the ALPHA's beta. How could things get better than that?

The only problem now was that I could not stand to be near him. When I looked into his boyish, beautiful face with his perfect eyes and lips, knowing he belonged to another girl and I didn't stand a chance, it made me so jealous I wanted to scream and rip my hair out by the handfuls! How would I be able to work alongside him when I felt that way?

My poor mom and Seth...they were probably freaking out no doubt. They didn't deserve for me to up and leave the way I had, without saying a word to anyone, leaving a simple note on my bed and sneaking out while everyone slept.

A hot tear rolled down my cheek as I finished up pumping the gas. If anything good could have come from my father's passing, it was definitely the insurance money my family received. My mother had given me a good amount to put into my savings account with GG & Smith Bank in LaPush.

_Shit,_ I thought. _ It would suck 108 degree balls if there weren't any GG & Smith Bank's outside of LaPush. _ I shoved the nozzle back in it's place, jumped in my little black car that Jake's magnificent hands had tinkered to perfection, and slammed the door. I laid my forehead against the steering wheel, taking a few deep breaths as I thought about everyone and everything I left behind. They were all probably relieved I was gone. _The psychopathic bitch skipped town, hooray._

I rubbed my eyes and wiped my nose, checking my reflection in the rearview mirror and rolling my eyes. My normally hot as hell face was all puffy, red and tired. I started the engine and turned the radio on. It surprisingly hurt me that they all actually thought I was going to murder Bella Swan. Sure, the thought had crossed my mind, but I would sooner shoot myself than that little pale faced weakling. She wasn't worth a wasted bullet. She'd probably get herself killed and save me the trouble.

I was so ready to start new. I was ready to never be a stupid goddamn wolf ever again. I was going to try and not phase. I was going to try and live like a normal human being. Like a young woman on her own, independent in a big city.

It was the beginning of something good for me, I just knew it. And in going through with my decision to leave, everyone on the rez wouldn't have to deal with my shit anymore. Jake deserved to heal without me there hounding him for his love. He was already confused enough and on top of that, he imprinted.

_That poor motherfucking boy, his insides have got to be mixed up worse than a Dairy Queen blizzard, _I wiped my eyes and laughed dreadfully.

Although I was known as the smalltown bitch, It did make me happy to think of my friends and family and pack brothers living a drama-free life far away from Leah Clearwater. They deserved that much from me.

"I hope you're happy, Jake. I love you so much, you poor asshole." I cried. "Swan better take good care of you." I turned back onto the interstate and headed for LA. Maybe I would get there without needing to check into a motel. How long could a wolf go without sleep, anyway?

* * *

**Jacob's POV**

Why was I still there on her front porch steps praying? Did I love to torture myself? I knew Bella would not want to speak to me ever again after her father made it so clear how I had hurt her. I clutched my shirt in my hands and fought back the tears that kept trying to escape out of my stinging eyes.

Almost ten minutes had gone by when my prayers were interrupted. I heard the door open and I knew it was Charlie, for strawberries did not fill my senses as the door opened wider. Bella didn't want to see me. She was probably in her bedroom thinking about the monster I was. That I was no better than her fucking vampire ex boyfriend. I bet he never chewed a hole through her throat.

Before Charlie had a chance to see me slumped there like I was mourning someone's death, I was already running as fast as I could for the trees. When I was sure I was far enough away, I pulled out of his stupid clothes and stuffed them in my mouth, commanding my shape to change as the evil tears finally leaked out of my eyes in their wake to leave burning trackmarks streaming down my skin.

I burst into my wolf much easier than I had the last time, pain from shifting was no longer lingering after the phase, or maybe I was not in the kind of state to notice the physical pain. I was alone with my thoughts, no others were phased. I silently said goodbye to my love, my sweet angel who deserved so much more than what I could offer. I then decided once and for all that the pack would be my life for they lived in the world I belonged in...and that existence was not good enough for my angel. I had no business associating with normal humans. The further I ran from her, the heavier my heart felt in my chest.

When I reached my house, I phased back and squeezed into Charlie's clothes again. I nearly took down the door as I entered, going straight to my bedroom and collapsing onto the bed. I hadn't even been inside a whole minute before the phone began to ring. I held my pillow over my head and groaned.

"Jacob?" Billy's deep voice came at just the right time. Bile was making it's way up my throat like acid. "Will you please speak to Bella? She's already called eight times wondering where you are. Jacob? If I hang up, she will just call again..."

I moaned and threw my pillow across the room. So much for avoiding her, I couldn't. I needed to hear her say my name again. I needed it. So badly.

"Hello?" I cut out through my burning throat.

"JACOB WHERE ARE YOU OHMYGOD I HAVE BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU...!"

"Bella, I couldn't stay."

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to her beautiful voice explain to me how she got her dad to understand her side of things. Charlie had apologized to her for overreacting after they heard the front door slam when I left. I told her I had been eavesdropping and I had to get out of there...I couldn't listen to any more of it.

"Charlie is dealing with a lot, Jake. He loves you and feels like he's lost a son in some way. You used to call him everyday and stuff. Those things have changed, and I guess he's just...I dunno. But, I guarantee you, he really doesn't think you are guilty of anything, Jacob."

"He could have fooled me." I didn't believe what she was saying. I knew everyone thought I had done something to Leah.

"Charlie is sorry, Jake. He didn't know you could hear and I think he was just venting. He wants to find out where Leah went so Sue Clearwater will stop bawling her eyes out to him about it." She scoffed. "Honestly, I don't give a shit that she ran away. Good riddance. I'm still mad at Charlie for even considering you as a suspect."

"So nobody thinks the crazy amnesia kid is killing people?

"Awww Jake, no. Charlie really wants to see you. To apologize."

"I don't know, Bella, I just..."

"Well he said he believed me about the tree branch, he really did, Jake."

"He didn't...see it...the mark? How..."

"Nope." She sighed. "I told him I would move in with you tonight if he didn't stop trying to take the freaking bandage off."

"I wish I could take it back."

"No, Jacob, don't say that..."

"Even when it heals, there will be a scar..."

"I don't care. It will be beautiful."

Bella was a complete doll to me. Every word from her mouth was comforting to my heart. She was the only friend in the world I had, and that was enough for me. But after a while of listening to her mushy-talk (which I loved, by the way) it had to come to an end because I was confused over some of the things I had overheard her father speak of. It was going to drive me nuts unless I asked her about them, so I went on to do so. I asked her about the 'sons of bitches' I heard her dad mention. She explained to me that those guys were completely made up to fool her dad so he wouldn't discover a 'vampire' was the cause of my near-death experience.

It bothered me that I hadn't seen another vampire since I met Edward, and I was itching like crazy to see one. I wanted to see if they had fangs and the way their skin sparkled in the sunlight. That was just fucking insane that all of this shit was real.

"They smell bad, Jake. At least they do to you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. One time you told me they smell really sweet...like, sickeningly sweet. Bubblegum, cotton candy..."

"Sweet huh?" I immediately thought of her bedroom. It smelled sweet but I didn't think it was much to worry about. Now I wondered... aw, hell I was just being paranoid.

"You smell like a wet dog." She laughed.

"Hey! Are you serious, Bells?" I tilted my head and sniffed my arm, but I smelled fine to my nose.

"No." She laughed until she was out of breath. "You smell delicious to me, but...like a wet dog to vamps."

I didn't even want to know what the bloodsuckers must have smelled like to humans.

"Bella...what did you mean when you said you watched me die...?

"Oh...uh..."

"Please. Tell me."

"I put you through a lot of pain in the past. Let's...let's not talk about that."

I wanted her to continue, but I didn't press her on. If she didn't want to talk about something, I couldn't force her.

"Do you know what the weirdest thing is, Bells?"

"What, Jake?"

"I really really want to run into a bloodsucker." I grinned and I could almost hear her grinning on the other end with me. "I'll get all kung-fu wolf on it's sparkly ass."

I don't know how many hours had passed when Bella began to sound sleepy, but I was talking so much that I couldn't stop. She was probably so tired of hearing me ramble on about how weird it was that this fantastical shit was all true. But I had to tell her what was going on in my head. I told Bella how I felt listening to the conversation between her and her father. I told her how I felt like I'd rather be dead sometimes...that it would be easier... and she understood me so well. It was effortless to try and make her understand...she was the best listener and friend...I felt she was the only thing I had in my life to be thankful for. I was so blessed to have her.

"Bella..." I couldn't prevent the shake in my voice. "Do you know how much I love you?"

"Yes, Jake. I love you, too. So, so much." Her words were so sweet, so right, and I could hear the tremble in them, making my heart tighten. "I miss you."

"I miss you too." I whispered.

I wanted to ask her about the battle again...about how I became comatose to begin with, but something inside of me didn't want to know. I wanted to move on from the whole thing, I didn't want to be referred to as 'the guy who was injured and has amnesia' anymore.

My dad was good enough to keep away while we talked. He never once showed his face after handing me the phone. But then, the dumb thing started beeping. I groaned and closed my eyes.

"This thing is about to die, Bells. Before it does, I want to remind you that you're everything to me. Can I please see you tomorrow?"

"Jake, can I please see you right now?.."

"Sweetheart, I'm scared."

"Don't be. You can't hurt me."

"But..."

"Did you forget? When I felt your teeth, I swear it was the best feeling in the world."

I moaned and gripped my hard-on that was straining beneath the tight denim. Before I had a chance to reply, the phone went dead. That made me angry. I wasn't done talking to her. There was a pull inside of me, begging me to be with Bella...to grant her wish and just go be with her, touch her again. But I forced myself to be strong and not give in...keeping my distance from her was for her own good. I could see the longer I was around her, the less controlled I was. I couldn't even make love to her without hurting her. My hand eased off of my bulge and I turned over, planting my face deep in my pillow.

Finally, I decided once and for all that I was going to try and keep away from Bella. Maybe if I stayed away long enough, she would fall out of love with me...or realize she never loved me at all and would move on with her life...safe...happy...without me. Gritting my teeth and nearly suffocating on my emotions, I groaned loudly into my pillow, arms clamped around it as I released the frustration.

The things going on inside of my brain were causing a migraine, and so Billy gave me several pills and I gratefully swallowed them all in one huge gulp. It did nothing for the pain, though. My head hurt nonetheless.

It was already getting close to noon and I was not looking forward to my first pack meeting. I watched tv for a half an hour, trying to rid my mind of Bella and the fact that I had a pack of wolf-men I was in charge of. What the fuck was I going to do? I was so nervous.

_What the fuck is all this Tru Blood shit? Do people really watch this? Woah fucking shit how did that chick just twist her head backwards while he is giving it to her wolf style?_

I decided instead of lingering on thoughts of Bella, watching disturbing vampire shows, and sulking, I would make an effort at the whole father-son relationship thing. The first thing that came to mind was food...so for lunch, I made me and Billy some turkey sandwhiches. Made myself five of 'em, but it didn't seem to phase Billy at all. It was awkward at first, me sitting across the table from him as he sat quietly in his wheelchair. It was dead silent for a while, but a few sandwhiches later and 1/3 of his down, I broke the silence.

"Uh...d-dad?" I said nervously almost mumbling. A huge smile swept across his worn face and I swore I saw his eyes brighten.

"Yes, son?"

"Why did you tell Bella's father that I had something to do with Leah's disappearance?"

"I didn't, Jacob. I only told him that you had been with her last night. That is all."

"Oh." How the fuck did word get around this little town so fast about what I was doing? _Damnit !_

I stuffed half a sandwhich into my mouth, wondering what the hell I was going to say next. A few minutes of silence went by before I knew what I wanted to ask.

"Do I have a mom? Brothers? Sisters?"

"Your mom passed away, son." He said grimly...and his eyes began to water as he told me the story about my amazing mother. She had been a wonderful woman...very strong and so incredibly intelligent. She was the hardest worker, taking whatever small jobs she could come by to help my father keep our home and food. But after I was born, she stayed home to take care of me.

My father had become a successful mechanic a couple years after I was born and had taken employment at two locations in La Push. We were doing alright, until the day he got sick. I was only a toddler then. He didn't know what was wrong, none of us did. I was too young, but my mother and sisters were worried that my father was going to die.

My mom had begged him to see a doctor, but he did not want to spend the money on hospital bills. My mother became obsessed, researching his symptoms for weeks until she finally came to the conclusion that he had diabetes.

By then, his symptoms had ruined him to the point that he would have to be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He finally sought medical intervention to save himself.

I was almost four when my mother passed away. Billy said her favorite thing in the world was when she would hold me against her breast, close to her heart, while she sang my favorite lulluby in our native language. She rocked me to sleep every night in her favorite rocking chair, and I realized that there was a beautiful wooden rocking chair still sitting in Billy's small den.

He said after her life was lost in the terrible car accident, that I would hold myself in a tight ball on their bed, refusing to sleep in my own. I would sing my mother's comforting lulluby until I closed my eyes, whispering "mama" even after I fell asleep.

Billy stopped talking and turned, rolling down the hall into his bedroom. When he came back, he held a tiny, brown teddy bear that was obviously hand stuffed and sewn. "You could never sleep without Mr. Blue...even up until the incident with the Newborn. After you were hurt, I took him from your room and...well." He let out an almost embarrassed laugh, but his eyes were so sad. I looked down at the little bear as he handed it to me.

"You sleep with him." I breathed. I didn't need him to tell me. The bear's black beady eyes were crooked and it had a little blue bow tied around it's neck. The kind smile that was sewn onto it's face underneath the button nose made my own lips turn up into a smile.

"I am glad I was able to give Sarah a son before she left me. She prayed to the spirits to send her a boy for many years. You were an answered prayer, Jacob."

I blinked the burning wetness in my eyes away before they had a chance to fall as I listened to my dad continue on to tell me about my sisters as I fumbled with the little bear in my large hands, gently squeezing it around it's plump belly.

My older twin sisters had played a huge role in raising me up, until Rebecca met a man and ran off with him, getting married in Hawaii and never returning. Rachel stuck with us until she received a scholarship to WSU, moving out and rarely visiting anymore. Then it was just the two of us.

"Does she know what happened to me?"

"No, Jacob. I did not feel the need to call Rachel and worry her half to death that her baby brother was in a coma and there was nothing she could do about it. You would not have been awake for her to say goodbye. I did not feel it would be the right thing to let her see you in that condition if it wouldn't change things. If you had died, of course I would have let her know..."

"Yeah..." I sighed. "What exactly happened to me...you know...what caused my um..." His eyes tightened and his face went grim at my question. I wanted to say coma, but I could tell he hated to think about it. "You know what? Nevermind, I don't want to know." I knew the scar on my neck had something to do with it. One of those bloodsuckers attacked me. Yeah, I really didn't want to hear about this.

"Why, Jacob?"

"Because I just don't, alright? Nothing can be changed anyway, and I want to fucking forget that I have amnesia because...she will never love me or want me until I remember."

"Watch your language, son." He frowned. "She?"

"I want her father's approval so much..."

"Jacob, my son. Bella loves you unconditionally. Charlie loves you unconditionally."

"No." I shook my head. "She loves the old me."

"Have you told her you feel this way?"

I shook my head again, looking at my hands playing with the little bear.

"Son, if there is anything I can do for you...to make this easier on you...please, let me know. I am here for you."

I just nodded my head and ran a hand through my disheveled hair. "Thank you...d-dad." I reached my hand out to meet his that was reaching for mine. He squeezed my hand and gave me a tight, close-lipped smile. "You are Jacob William Ephraim Black, and you always will be my son. I love you." He said in a strong voice before letting go of my hand.

His words filled me with warmth, with hope, with happiness. I smiled at my father. He was an old, wise looking man whom carried the past of a long, hard life within his onyx eyes. This man still loved me, and I could see how easily I could learn to love him back. I was grateful that fate had given me this good man to be my father.

"Jacob. If there is anything you would like to tell me, it's alright. You can say it."

He only needed to offer his ears once.

"So, you told Mr. Swan I was with Leah, now he thinks I did something to her and now he is paranoid..."

"Yes, I told him you were with her last. I did not know that he was going to assume you had anything to do with her disappearance."

"I'm scared, dad."

"Don't be scared. I believe you did not hurt her."

"Yeah, you are probably the only one. What about Mr. Swan?"

"You could murder the whole town and Charlie would do whatever he could to keep you out of prison, boy, his love for you mirrors mine."

"God...why is it so hard.." I squeezed my eyes and hung my head, rubbing the back of my neck with one hand and clutching the little bear to my chest with the other. "I can't see her anymore, for her own good. I shouldn't see her anymore. I don't want to hurt her, dad." My body shook with suppressed sobs.

"Bella Swan always has and always will love you, Jake. Many moons I thought she would allow her life to be turned over to the cold ones, but she has not chosen that life. You have imprinted on her?"

"Yes."

"Do not shut her out from fear, Jake. I see a lot of your mother in her, and I know that if I had been given the power of shapeshifting from the gods, that she would have been my imprint. I let myself become deeply depressed after the spirits took her from me, and I do not want to see you do that to yourself. My depression did not kill me, but your absence from Bella will eventually kill you. I see so much of your mother in your face, Jacob."

"You do?" I swallowed but it did nothing to remove the lump in my throat.

"Do not take that away from me, too." Tears were running down his wrinkled face then.

I looked straight into his black eyes and promised him at that moment that I would not leave him like mama and I would not let Bella Swan slip away from me.

* * *

Shortly after lunch, I held a pack meeting in my backyard. Sam was back to normal looking, he wasn't busted up anymore but I didn't give a damn. The asshole still made me sick to my stomach. The guys were all freaking out that Leah was missing and I felt completely helpless. I was grateful they were so worried over their missing pack sister rather than noticing how freaking tight my clothes were. They all stood around impatiently waiting for my orders.

"She is not phasing or we would know where she is, so..." I started.

"She's never been afraid of anything in her life. Why would she just run off like this? " Seth asked, clearly emotionally upset.

"I don't know, man, I don't know." I replied as heartfelt as I could. "Does anybody have the note she left?"

"Yeah, here." Seth handed it to me and I looked it over. It smelled of Leah and sadness. I could barely make out the words through her sloppy handwriting.

_**-I am leaving. I can't do it, I can't beta for Jake. I'm not ready. I am scared. I can't. I am sorry, goodbye Seth and Mom. Love you guys. Don't worry about me.-**_

_Damn_

"Paul." I called to the third largest guy in the pack besides me and Sam. "Beta for now?" It was more of an order rather than a question, but he replied.

"Yes Jake. Uh, yes Alpha, I mean."

"You're still allowed to call me Jake." I told him. He gave me a grin and despite how nervous I was and so very new to the whole alpha thing, I proceeded to lay down the law to the pack. "You guys will only patrol in pairs for the safety of your brother. There will be two wolves on patrol every second, understand? I do not want a fucking bloodsucker 130,000 miles from here.

For the next twelve months, Uley, you will have patrol duty every single shift. I will decide who accompanies you shortly. I will make out a detailed schedule for you guys to make it easier." I didn't give a shit about the look on Sam's face, but it did make my day to see him shake in his shoes when I shot him my death glare. Embry and Sam had the first shift, so I left them to it and told the guys I would catch them later. Maybe being alpha wasn't going to be so hard. Things seemed to flow easy enough so far.

* * *

I went back inside to find Billy snoozing on the couch. I wondered what Bella was doing, but I knew I shouldn't be thinking about her. If she hadn't called me again since the phone died, she didn't want to talk to me. That was a good thing, I told myself. She needed space from me, and she needed to fall out of love with me so I wouldn't have the overwhelming need to love her, to accidentally hurt her again. I growled at my weakness and inability to leave her alone when I picked up the phone and..._didn't_ dial her number. I cursed myself for not getting her digits from her, and I was too emotionally exhausted to remember there was such thing as *69.

I slammed the phone down angrily and marched into the kitchen. My stomach growled and I was surprised I wanted to eat again so soon after lunch. After looking through the fridge only to find a pack of hotdogs and some various leftovers, I decided the hotdogs were easiest. I took a couple out of the pack and made my way to the bathroom, biting one of them in half on the way there.

_I can't see Bella... I'm not good for her... But I can't stay away from her for too long because of the imprint... I promised Billy I would not shut her out so I have to see her ...Oh Bells... I wonder if you are thinking of me right now_

After consuming the dogs, I removed Charlie's clothes and hopped in the shower. The feeling of warm water soaking my hair and running down my back was so relaxing and was just what I needed.

I picked up a bar of soap and lathered myself up. Tilting my head back, I exhaled as the hot water hit my face. I felt so good at that moment, I moaned. Puffs of steam rose from my skin and surrounded me as the soap slid down my body. I closed my eyes and there she was, my angel. She was very vivid, I licked my lips as I remembered her touching me. My fingers unconsciously slid from my hair, down my chest, my abs, and finally grazed my throbbing erection. As I pictured her beautiful, fair body on top of me, my fingers found their way around the massive, soapy length.

My back met the tile and my head rolled back against it as I massaged myself, seeing Bella's small hands working me in my mind. I couldn't help but wonder if I was with her, would it be her beautiful, gentle hands that would be touching me? The hot water was hitting my torso, making my abs contract along with each pull of my hand. My eyes closed, my head leaned far back against the cold tiles, I pictured Bella's beautiful little mouth kissing my pulsing shaft, licking the precum I was leaking for her. I moaned and rolled my head to the side, opening my eyes as my hand quickened it's pace just as she took my tip into her warm, wet mouth.

I pinched the tip of my head, imagining it were her teeth nipping me so good. I gasped and chewed on my dripping bottom lip as water ran from my bangs and into my face.

"Bella..." I breathed and began pumping myself faster. I couldn't tell myself to close my eyes let alone take a breath. It wasn't long before my body convulsed and my head thrashed forward and back against the tiles again so hard I was afraid I'd cracked it. I squeezed my eyes and nearly bit a hole through my lip trying to muffle a scream that was trying to rip it's way out as I spilled myself all over my hand. I groaned long and loud, my head hanging low and I almost toppled over as I pumped myself a few more times, seeing the last of my load swim out of my tip, meeting the hot sprays from the shower. My balls were hurting, I was panting, and I realized my hand was grasping my balls almost painfully...so I moved my grip to the shower rod as I recovered.

I turned the water off and moaned again, inhaling deeply, feeling pretty awesome after that orgasm, but wishing Bella had been there to experience it with me. I stepped out. As I was drying my hair with a towel, I caught a glimpse of white amongst the pile of clothes on the floor. I stopped and wrapped the towel around my waist, dipping down to pull the paper out of the shorts pocket. I opened it again and read the words that were written so beautifully it was ridiculous. I never thought handwriting could be that fancy.

In my bedroom, laying across my little bed and in a pair of cut-offs, I stared at the note, wondering who the hell it was from. I thought and thought and thought, trying to come up with anything I might remember, but I failed. I was not going to know anything about the note unless I brought it to Bella's attention. I needed to speak with her, but I wanted to ask her about it in person so I could read her expressions.

It was still just after noon, so I spent the rest of the day cleaning up the house for Billy while he napped. I knew anything strenuous would be hard for him, so I didn't even need to ask him if he wanted my help. The laundry was the worst part. No...the laundry _and the_ dishes. Damn, how many dirty dishes could one guy...well, two guys, make?

It still bothered me that I hadn't heard from Bella anymore that day. But deep down, some part of me was glad. It was good for her to want to keep some space from me. That would make it easier for me to keep my distance. Maybe she would even stop missing me or meet a human guy, and in doing so, would not be hurt by me again. My heart splintered at the thought and I nearly fell over, bracing my body with the mop in my hands to keep from hitting the floor. I heard it crack and I grumbled in annoyance, knowing Billy wouldn't be happy about that. Just thinking of never seeing Bella again was too much to take. I wiped my brow and shook the stupid mop before plunging it back into the bucket and attacking the floor, more roughly this time.

That night, I cooked up some steaks for Billy and I on the grill. I was so excited about it, I was practically hopping with joy when I found them in the freezer. I stood outside in front of the grill with my giant tongs, listening to the sounds of nature and the snapping and crackling of the cooking beef. It smelled so good my mouth was watering and I could not wait to bite down on the juicy meat. My stomach growled. Spending the entire day home made me see that it was a very quiet life living alone with Billy. But as much as I tried, I could not fight away my thoughts of Bella. She was with me every moment in my mind and heart. I wondered what she was eating for dinner and if it was as good as a big, fat, juicy steak.

I sat at the kitchen table, writing out a detailed schedule for the pack. I had to write out several copies so I could give one to each of the guys. Sam was scheduled for every shift, just like I ordered. It wasn't that much of a punishment, but I wasn't going to kill the guy, no matter how badly I craved to. He'd be pretty miserable not getting a break by the time the 12 months were up, so I was happy enough with that fact.

Later that night, lying in bed, I couldn't stop thinking about that note. 'I knew it would look good on you'. The words kept repeating themselves in my head, but each time the words belonged to a different voice. It was driving me insane not knowing who it was from and what it meant.

I thought it was best for me to stay away from Bella, but fuck, it was beginning to hurt. Billy knew it wasn't indigestion that was bothering me, it was missing Bella. I had promised Billy I would not let Bella slip away from me, and so I had to come to the conclusion (quite easily) that I could not spend another day without her. Okay, to be honest, I was fucking lovesick. I had promised Billy I would not push her away and she _was_ my imprint...despite that I was an animal and it was dangerous for me to be around her. I had to see her, to find out what that piece of paper meant. Nerves were swimming through my veins, making me tremble as I wondered what she would tell me about the note. For some reason I knew it would be bad.

As I laid there in the dark, pulling my covers up to my chin, curling into a ball, I closed my eyes and hugged Mr. Blue as I thought of Bella's gorgeous face.

_Why haven't you called me, Bells? I miss your voice. I love you_

"Goodnight my angel."

I prayed I would dream of Bella that night, I needed to see her and feel her again, even if it was in a wonderful dream. But of course, I wouldn't be that lucky.


	35. I Need You

**NTYP Chapter 35**

**DISCLAIMER Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

**A/N: A short chapter but I love it nonetheless! I hope you do, too! J*B are too cute. In the next few chapters, there will be lots of happiness for you guys to read! Yay! xoxoDGMU**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

After Jacob's phone battery died, I was immediately sad at the loss of his deep, husky voice . Maybe if I waited a couple hours for his phone to charge, I could call him again.

I sighed and thought of what a relief it was that I had taken a shower before running into him the night before. If I smelled like Edward, would Jake have even known that was what he was smelling? A vampire? Well, he would now since I had just told him what one smelt like over the phone.

Hours passed by slowly without him. I wondered if I should fight through the woods again. I just needed to see Jacob. I couldn't wait til tomorrow.

But I did wait. I spent the whole day alone, so hoping he would show up and flash me his glorious smile...the one I was so in love with.

By now his phone should be charged again...so why wasn't he calling me? Maybe he didn't want to talk to me. I wasn't anything special, anyway. My doubt got the best of me and I plopped myself down on the sofa, watching LMN. All those sad movies just made me cry and miss Jake even more.

I decided I needed a job. I couldn't just spend my life doing nothing now that school was over. My life with Jacob would be easier if I got a job and started saving right away. We could get a place of our own someday. Since I didn't have a car, getting a job and holding one would prove extremely difficult. Ugh, life never gave me a break.

The day dragged by, and after I ate dinner with my dad, I went to bed with tears in my eyes. I had spent the last few nights beside Jacob, and tonight I would be alone.

I went to my window and looked out, hoping I would see the glowing eyes of a wolf staring back at me from the darkness. But I didn't see the eyes of a wolf.

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall, then I unlocked my window, hoping he would remember how he used to climb in. Oh I so hoped he would climb in tonight. I removed my hands from the glass and mechanically entered my bed.

The sheets were too cold, everything was too cold. My room was missing the lightness that Jacob brought to it. I reached over and opened my side table drawer, taking out the little bracelet with the carved wolf and shining heart.

I angrily ripped the heart from it and threw it across the room, hitting the window. The little wooden wolf was the only Jacob I could have that night, and I would sleep with him without the stupid reminder of Edward.

Though there was no warmth radiating from the little wolf, to my disappointment, just having the little symbol close to my heart would have to do.

"I want to hear your voice again, Jake. I need to feel you. I miss you. I love you. You can come to me. You can always come to me if you need to."

Charlie woke me the next morning with a kiss and a hug. He wished me a good day and told me if I saw Jake, to tell him he's welcome in his house anytime. I was surprised but also excited. I was so going to invite Jake over immediately, though I would have whether or not Charlie approved.

I hoped he would come see me. I needed his warm touch so much. My lips needed to feel his lips again. I wanted to kiss him so bad, the butterflies were making me ill.

I jumped out of bed and snatched my cell from my dresser and dialed his number. It rang for a long time. I got concerned and hung up. Was something wrong? Was he avoiding me or something?

I pulled a blue long sleeved shirt on and some comfortable jeans, grabbed my cell and ran downstairs. Luckily, I caught Charlie before he had driven off.

"Dad! Can...you please..." I nearly dove into the open window of his cruiser, my upper body hanging inside. "Can you take me to Jake's?" God how I missed the old red truck Jacob had given me. I missed it so badly.

He waited a second and then nodded. "Sure, kiddo. Hop in."

"Thanks!" I was so relieved. Smiling, I climbed into the passenger's side, completely giddy to see Jacob.

We pulled up to the little red house and I couldn't stop smiling. My heart swelled at just being so near him. I could feel he was so close, all I wanted was to hold him now. Hold him and never let go.

I told Charlie goodbye and he told me to be careful. Ugh, he seriously needed to chill. I started toward the front door, pulling my hair up into a ponytail. Then I noticed Jacob's garage door was open. I ran to the red building that was surrounded by tires and other car parts, stopping when I heard Jacob grunting.

"Jacob?" I whispered. "Are you okay?" I walked inside and he was leaning over a car engine, tools clanking and his back heaving. "Jacob?"

He turned around and his eyes were bloodshot. I put a hand over my mouth and couldn't believe how bad he looked. "Oh my god what's wrong baby?"

I went to him quickly and embraced him with as much strength as I could. His body actually gave a little at the impact. "Why do you look so terrible? Tell me what's wrong. Please, Jake."

I felt his warm hand on the back of my head and he tugged my hair gently, pulling my face from his chest. He slowly leaned down and brushed his lips over mine, causing goosebumps all over my body at the light touch.

"I can't sleep."

"Why?" I breathed against his lips.

"They're in my dreams."

"Who?" I asked him. He turned his face away, breathing heavily against my cheek and squeezing his eyes shut. "Who?" I asked again.

"Red eyes. All of them. They all have red eyes." His voice broke and he rested his head against my shoulder.

"I'm here, Jake. I'm here. It's just a dream. That's all." I held him and rubbed my hand over his strong back, kissing the hair at the nape of his neck.

"The worst part is...they were after you." He brought his face up to meet my eyes. There was so much fury in them, he looked like he wanted to kill somebody. "They were after you, Bella. They were after you."

"Jacob. Those were probably the Newborn vampires that you fought."

I could feel the tenseness in his body. He was wound so tight, I was afraid he would snap.

"Newborns?"

"Yes. They're new vampires." His brow furrowed even more as he stared into my face. "You were bit by one of them and the venom is deadly to your kind, so you almost died. That's why you were in the coma. That's how you got the scar on your neck if you've ever wondered." His eyes had gradually widened as I explained. "Their eyes are red."

His gaze was no longer meeting mine, but he seemed to be in deep thought. He just stared over my shoulder, seemingly at nothing. I took his face in my hands and kissed his jawline. "It's all just coming back to you, Jacob. That's all it is. You don't have to worry about me. I know I have the strongest man in the world protecting me." I kissed his plump lips, but he only closed his eyes and did not return the kiss.

I pulled back and looked at him. He pulled away from me, slowly turned around and began working on the engine again. This upset me. Had he not missed me at all? I couldn't stand one day of separation and here he would rather work on my stupid truck instead of kiss me?

Wait, he was working on _my _truck?

"Jake." My mouth hung open in surprise. "You...you're fixing my truck?"

"Yep. My girl deserves a working vehicle, and I'm not going to let you wander around in the woods alone ever again." He groaned as he tinkered with the engine, his face scrunching. There was a loud noise that sounded like something broke. "Shit, that was not supposed to happen. " He sighed.

"Jacob, I can't believe it." I was ecstatic. " I thought that truck was history after Edward..." Oops, I knew this wasn't a good time to mention that name. I looked down at my feet afraid of what his reaction would be.

"You're right."

Huh? I looked up at him and he didn't look angry at all. "Edward destroyed it, tore it nearly apart, but I'm going to put it back together." He grinned and took a towel from his back pocket, wiping grease from his face.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his bicep, kissing his arm. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Sure, sure. It's no big deal, Bells." I stared up at him in awe as he worked on the engine. Oh god, I loved him so much. How did I survive a night without him?

Fifteen minutes later, I was still holding onto his arm and rubbing it with my cheek as he turned, screwed, twisted, yanked, shimmied and fumbled around with the engine parts. I didn't see how he was able to work with me hanging on him like that, but he never complained or asked me to go away.

Despite how sweet it was that he was working on my truck, I couldn't stop wondering why he didn't kiss me back. We were both so quiet and neither one of us had said a word within those fifteen minutes that I figured I would be the first to break the silence.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"You didn't kiss me."

"What?"

"You didn't kiss me back. Why?"

His hands stopped working and he turned his head to look at me. "I'm sorry. I...I've just got a lot on my mind." He stood up and turned to me, wiping his hands on the towel.

"You've got a lot on your mind?" Now I was angry. "My kisses won't ease your mind at all? You don't need me? If I kiss you, it does nothing for you?"

"No, Bella. No. It does everything for me. It makes everything better. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to love you physically because I can hurt you. I'll live with whatever shit that is going on inside of my head without a kiss from your perfect lips to ease the pain, because I love you. I love you more than myself and I'm willing to give up what I want if it makes life easier for you."

"Jacob, all I want is for you to kiss me! To love me however you want to! Please, just let go and let me help you. All I want is to love you and make you happy!"

"You do make me happy you do, Bells!" He took my hands in his and squeezed them tight. "You make me so, so happy. I hope you know that."

I made him happy? Jacob Black was happy, oh my god. And it was because of me? I brought joy to him, no longer pain? Just to hear him say those words, it was incredible. I blinked the tears from my eyes.

"I make you happy, Jake?"

"You make me so happy, Bella. You make all my pain go away just by being here."

"Jake." I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair, bringing his head down so his lips could meet mine. They were so warm, so hot, and the perfect balance of moisture. Honey was all I tasted as I caught his lips over and over with my own, until our lips were swollen and we were panting.

"See, you didn't hurt me." A small smile crept upon his lips and he dipped his head down to kiss me again.

"Bells, will you stay with me?" He said between kisses and pulling on my bottom lip with his teeth. "Stay here with me?" He kissed my cheek and then my temple. "You can live here with me. Don't leave. Don't go back home. I'll make you happy" He breathed. " I'll protect you, I won't let myself hurt you again. "

I groaned. Did he still think he hurt me? Gosh, he was so hard headed!

"I will stay with you forever, Jake. I need you."

"I need you." He breathed with his eyes closed, our foreheads touching.

I got on my tip toes and grabbed his cheeks in my hands, sinking my lips into his and tasting his sweet honey again.


	36. Time Keeps Moving On

**NTYP Chapter 36**

**Time Keeps Moving On**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie meyer Owns Twilight**

_**A/N:**_

_** Thanks so much for R&R, please don't forget to leave me some love! I couldn't write this story without you all! Wolfie Hugs and Happy Holidays everybody! xoxoDGMU**_

* * *

Time keeps moving on  
Through the sunshine and the storm  
And my dreams are set in stone  
And someday I'll be who I want to be  
For now I'll wait  
For the sun to shine again  
And for now I'll wait  
For the rain to pass away

And I'm looking for the brighter days  
When all my hurts seem to fade away  
I'm looking for the brighter days to come my way

_Brighter Days-Leeland_

**Los Angeles, California**

**-Leah-**

I had been living in Los Angeles, CA for a month since I left my home, my family back in LaPush. My smelly apartment was not the best, but it was all I could afford with my crappy income. The paint was peeling, there were more roaches living in my home than there were people in the whole city.

Working at the coffee shop had been okay so far. Everyone was too damn cheery all the time, and I probably seemed like an angry witch to them all...but I didn't fucking care. Since I had never made a damn cup of coffee in my life, I was left with the lovely position of cashier.

I would be working at the front counter when the thought of my mom or Seth, or even Jacob would come to the forefront of my mind. When this happened, usually when somebody was in the process of ordering or handing me their money, I would have to dart away to the restroom...leaving one of my fellow employees to take over.

Sure, it was embarrassing to have those little outbursts. Crying on the toilet in a coffee shop bathroom when you know everyone can hear you outside the door, that's not what I ever could have wanted in life.

As I sat in the bathroom, my head hung and my makeup running, I would wonder how my mom was. I missed her. I missed her so fucking much, and I knew she probably missed me. I had left, trying to allow my family and friends to finally have a drama-free life without me. But I couldn't help in wondering if they hated me more than ever now.

Looking in the mirror, I wiped my eyes with toilet paper and got my shit together before my boss became seriously pissed (which would usually happen). I hated Rick. For a manager, he was just an asshole and everything you did was always wrong in some sort of way. Prick.

At the end of the day, I'd close the register and tell all of my coworker 'friends' I'd see them in the morning before getting in my dad's car and heading back to my apartment...alone. Yeah right, 'friends'. Who was I kidding? My friends were those smartass, macho, pigheaded, overgrown puppies down at LaPush whom I loved so much, but I knew I would probably never see them again.

I'd drag my feet into my cold apartment, dropping my bag and removing my apron, throwing it on the floor. I hadn't phased in so long, I was aching for my bones to stretch and pop again, to feel free and wild. That feeling, I never thought I would miss, but I did fucking miss it.

I'd lost weight, too. I was normally pretty buff for a girl, but I was looking frail lately. Though, not as frail as Bella. I was probably not eating enough to sustain a wolf like me. As I ate my ramen noodles, I wondered if Bella and Jacob were happy. What were they doing at that exact moment? What was everyone down at LaPush doing without me?

Laying on my bed, above the covers and staring at the ceiling, I'd want to call my brother...to tell him happy birthday. Yeah, Seth's birthday had passed, and I didn't even have enough money to keep my cell phone. I wasn't able to call him, to tell him I missed him and that I missed looking out for him. Maybe someday I would have the balls to call my mom and tell her I loved her, that I was okay, that I was sorry for not being a great daughter when she deserved for me to be.

Every night I'd fall asleep on that cold, stiff bed thinking of everything I had left behind...wondering why I made the stupid mistake of leaving.

It was a colder morning than usual for LA as I jumped from my car, making a dash for the lit up coffee shop, the jingle bells on the doorknob dinging as I walked in. I was 5 minutes late for work, but this job was all I had and I wanted to give my best if anything was going to come of it.

Thank God, I finally got a promotion that day for being the world's best damn cashier a coffee shop ever had. I was even allowed to make drinks because we were short on staff, but that was a hell of a lot of work for me. I like to drink it, not make the damn stuff, thank you.

Cafe Java's owner, Mrs. Wakefield was so fucking nice, but somehow she didn't get on my nerves. Usually nice people made me angry, but this lady reminded me of my father. Her personality was warm, and for the woman's age, she had very few wrinkles on her face.

Her champagne blonde hair was always pulled back into a bun and fastened with a fancy little hair pin. Today, she was wearing sparkling earrings with dangling Christmas trees and a lovely green and red sequin dress. She would come in 2 or 3 times a week for her signature coffee and a strawberry cheese danish. Her eyes always held a smile in them, and it reminded me of my father's warm smile.

"Can I get you anything else, ma'am?" I asked her as I brought her the coffee and danish.

"No thank you, honey." She took a sip of her coffee and I gave her a smile as I turned to get back to work.

"Dear? Did you make this?"

"Uh, um...yes, yes I did. Ma'am, I'm sorry if it's not the way it should taste, I am new at the coffee brewing, um, making, I mean...um...I'm used to counting money..." God, I sounded like a fucking imbecile.

"No, no dear. This is absolutely perfect. I haven't tasted a Caramel Brul_é_e Latte like this in my entire life. It is amazing."

Wow, I was blushing. I didn't know making a good cup of coffee could make me feel that good.

"Th-thank you, ma'am." I said, trying not to sound as excited as I was.

"No, thank _you._..miss...Leah." She looked at my name tag and smiled at me. "I'm Sahara Wakefield."

"I know." I smiled and took her hand to shake it.

"I'm glad we have your skilled hands making coffee for my customers. I only want to serve the best, and this my dear, is just wonderful. How much are they paying you? I don't want you going anywhere else, now."

After giving me a second pay raise (alright, it was only a dollar more an hour, but...), I was on cloud nine the rest of the day. No snobby, irritating, impatient businessmen in a hurry to get back to work could get me down.

Mrs. Wakefield stuck a huge sign on the front window encouraging people to come try our amazing holiday beverage. I made so many perfect Caramel Brul_é_e Latte's that day, I almost forgot there were other kinds of coffee.

A few days later, I was still making a million Caramel Brul_é_e's and my coworkers would give me dirty looks. I didn't really care that I had not grown close to Jinger, Frank, or Kimberly. They had always avoided me, even though they would pretend to be my friend sometimes. They most likely had issues liking me because for the first month I worked there, I pretty much had a permanent sneer on my face.

There were a couple hot guys, James and Darren that would sometimes work during my shifts. They would brush past me, practically rubbing their crotches against my ass every chance they got. James was hot with his jet black hair and blue eyes. Darren was pretty dreamy with his blonde curls and full lips, but nothing compared to Jake. Oh I still thought of Jacob often, but I tried to ignore the pain.

I hadn't phased in the four months I had been in Los Angeles, and I was getting used to being a normal human. Well, as normal as it were possible for me to be. There were the days when customers would be jackasses, ordering extra shots of espresso and then telling me that I was trying to kill them with a heart attack, that they had not ordered an extra shot at all...

Yes, those were the times when I would begin to shake, and I would have to remind myself I could still phase if I got angry enough.

One night, it was another unusually cold one, I was fixing to close the cafe and I was tired. Everyone else had gone home, but I always volunteered to close because it gave me more hours. My rent had gone up a hundred bucks a month and I was already struggling enough. Bills were piling up, and my car was beginning to make funny noises. God, where was Jake when I needed him? I knew where he was, and I began to cry as I swept the crumbs from the floor.

The door jingled and I remembered how I hadn't locked it. _Damnit._

"We're closed." I said without looking up from the broom sweeping against the hard tiled floor.

"I know, ma'am. I am looking for someone."

My body stopped moving, I couldn't believe the voice I heard. I knew I was going to fucking pass out. The room began to sway.

"Miss? Are you alright?" The familiar smooth, deep voice said again.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I was so afraid to look up and find that it was not Jake speaking to me. After all, he would never call me 'miss'...would he? No, it couldn't be Jacob.

"I'm, I'm fine..." I turned to look at the man standing in front of the glass door. "Who are you looking...f-for...?"

His beautiful face was all I could see, his tall, dark and handsome form stood out from everything else. The room around us stretched and turned to streaks as my eyes zeroed in on his. So deep, so piercing.

So perfect.

* * *

**La Push, Washington**

**Bella's POV**

Weeks had gone by since Leah's disappearance. Everybody had pretty much accepted the fact that she would probably not be returning. Sue and Seth Clearwater were taking it the hardest. Whenever I saw them, there was a sadness in their eyes that you could not ignore.

I had the pleasure of seeing Seth a lot since I moved in with Jake. He was such a sweet kid with a cheery disposition nearly all of the time. But lately, he was always depressed and I hated that. I tried to cheer him up by asking him to stay after his patrol shift was over. We would play video games or watch HBO while Jacob snoozed on the sofa. Jake was tired a lot, but I figured it was because he had begun patrolling with Embry every evening.

I'd been living at the Black's house for almost 3 weeks, and it was amazing. I'd never been so happy. It felt like home to me and I was so comfortable. Billy was so warm and kind, and loved to give me bear hugs like his son. He said it was nice having a woman around the house again.

Embry, Quil and Jared would stop by every day to see Jake. Embry would sometimes take me aside and ask how he was doing, but I had to break it to him that Jake could honestly be better. Wouldn't he know that if they patrolled together? Maybe Jacob had his thoughts guarded well.

Quil and Embry always took Jake fishing down at the creek not far from the house every chance they could steal him away from me. They'd all barge in the front door with their fish they caught, stomping their muddy boots all over the floors I tried so hard to keep clean. But it only made me smile, because Jake would be so enthusiastic showing me those stinky fish. I was so happy that he had his brothers, but they could be really annoying...especially when they'd shake those smelly fish in my face, shouting and showing off who caught the most.

Paul stopped by some nights, bringing a pack of soda and chips. He and Jake would sit and talk for hours, and it surprised me that Paul actually got Jake to laugh at his ridiculous dirty jokes. Many of the dirty jokes would lead him to speak of the scar on my neck. That embarrassed Jacob and his cheeks would turn bright red and he'd shake his head. But there was a beautiful twinkle in his eyes when he looked at the light colored scar and I knew he was proud. Paul was a ladies man, but he could be downright vulgar sometimes. Still, we couldn't help but find his jokes hilarious nonetheless. Yes, life on the rez was fun and I was fitting in well.

I would try to hide the mark with my hair, my clothes, or makeup when I was around my dad. Charlie hadn't taken my move very well at all. In fact, he had been extremely sad about it and tried everything he could come up with to talk me out of it. He was spending so much time with Sue now that I knew he would be alright with me gone, he just needed to see that I was not a little girl anymore. I assured Charlie I still loved him, but I was a grown woman and Jacob needed me. Charlie knew that.

Jacob and I would visit Charlie as often as we could. Sometimes we would go on double dates with Charlie and Sue, and to be honest, I really liked Miss Clearwater. I could see what my father saw in her. She was a strong, caring, spiritual woman. Those were qualities that were something to admire, and I could definitely see the admiration in Charlie's eyes when he looked at her.

It was wonderful to see Jake and my dad getting along again. Charlie came to me after the first night they had gone bowling...just the two of them, and he told me that Jake was an amazing guy, and that he had been wrong to assume anything else about him. Charlie told me he could also see that Jacob was not that different from how he used to be...and that he definitely was not a mental case. I would roll my eyes, of course.

The day I had moved into Jakes house, bringing with me only my one bag of clothes, my dreamcatcher, and bracelet, I was a little nervous at first. I wondered where I should sleep or if I should keep the pda down between me and Jacob. At first, Billy said I could sleep on the sofa, but after a few days, I would wake up in the middle of the night and crawl into bed with Jacob. Eventually, I just began skipping the sofa altogether. Jacob was too warm to let go of, and he did not complain about me being in his bed.

The pull and desire between the two of us was too much to ignore, and we would end up sharing our bodies every night. We would never get tired of each other. If anything, the more we had of each other, the more we craved.

Jacob worked so hard around his house, it made me feel lazy. The man was amazing at everything he put his mind to and it made me feel that much more undeserving of him. We would wash dishes together and even cook meals together. I especially enjoyed the difficult recipes, because it gave me an excuse to make a mess with all of the ingredients. I'd laugh and kiss his flour-covered cheek, and he'd squirt honey all over me saying I'd never looked so sweet. Billy would come in sometimes and just shake his head at the scene.

I wasn't surprised when everything Jake took out of the oven came out perfectly. I'd say it was all because of me, though my hand in helping wasn't a huge one and I knew he was the one who really did everything right.

He ate pretty much anything I whipped up, though, including my boxed mac n cheese or canned spaghetti. He was not picky at all. He even enjoyed my mushroom casserole, which, I admit, was actually pretty good. I made some damn good fried chicken, too. Billy loved the fried chicken.

Jake let me hang out during the pack meetings, and his alpha voice was downright scary sometimes...but when I watched him giving orders, I couldn't help but only see my best friend. He might be an alpha, but I was the one who got to see the softer side of him, when his face was not furrowed into the stern one of a chief. No, I would smooth those lines out of his forehead easily with my lips when night came. But the red eyes came back into our lives, changing things.

The nightmares were haunting him again, but it was every night. I'd wake up from his groans and sometimes screams in the middle of the night. I would bring him close to me, cradling his head as I rocked him back and forth, telling him I was there and we were okay.

Billy thought it was good of me to be with Jacob during those terrible nights. I would be the one to calm him when he woke suddenly, sweaty and unaware of where he was, sometimes growling at nothing as if there was something ready to attack him.

Most nights, he would wake up and nearly smother me with his huge body, as if shielding me from something. I would gently tell him it was alright, that we were in his room, in his bed and nothing was trying to hurt me. It killed me to watch him suffering.

Another week went by before the night terrors stopped, and his eating became normal again and I could see the difference in his face. He would smile that gorgeous white smile and my heart burst with hope. Things were going to be okay now, I just knew it. Things were going to be somewhat normal. He was going to be able to sleep again.

September came around fast and Jacob and the boys spent a lot of their free time fishing.

"Let's be serious, guys. We all know I caught the most. Not to mention, the biggest!" Jacob announced proudly as he dumped a tray of ice into the sink with the fresh fish.

"Aw, you wish, man!" Quil came back at him. "Bella, tell our boy Jake here who's been fishing longer than you've even known him. We all know I caught the most." He pointed to his chest.

"Quil," I laughed. "...I wouldn't bet on that. Jake's a pro at everything."

"I'm just playin', Bells. Embry actually caught the most." Jacob said as he kissed my lips.

We all heard the toilet flush and Embry came from the bathroom, his head turning to the window. "Hey guys? Uh...why is Quil's car rolling down the road?"

"Fuck! I always forget to put it in park!" Quil nearly knocked Embry down trying to get out the door.

We all began to laugh hysterically. "Have you boys been drinking?" I asked and Jacob lifted me up and kissed my lips again.

Before I knew it, my birthday had arrived. Jacob insisted on baking me my birthday cake. Emily came over to help prepare for the party and to help Jake with the cake. I overheard her asking him to let Sam have more time off duty. He was getting sick and it was hurting them as imprints.

"Sure, Ems. I didn't even think of that. I'm sorry." He told her genuinely concerned.

"He doesn't really get along with Paul too well, so maybe he shouldn't take shifts with him anymore." She said sweetly, putting her arms around Jake.

"Sure, yeah, okay." Jacob agreed and kissed her on the head.

"I understand he's not invited to the party, but don't you think you could let him off patrolling just for a little while? To rest?"

Jacob hesitated but reluctantly allowed her to call Sam, allowing him to go home and get some sleep.

It was time. Time for my birthday party, and I hated the attention. But the small house was filled with every Quileute I loved and my father was also there. It would have been perfect if my mom had been able to fly in from Florida, but I was so happy, how could I ask for more? How could I complain that the man I loved was throwing me a party? I was filled with so many emotions, receiving so much love from all of them.

They sang 'happy birthday' songs to me, and even one in their beautiful native language that I'd never heard before. I couldn't help but smile being surrounded by all of these beautiful people. Although, it was almost strangely sad not having Leah with us.

After I blew out my 19 candles, Jake scooped me up into a crushing bear-hug and kissed me hard.

"Happy birthday, Bells. I hope the cake is better than it looks."

"It looks delicious, Jacob. Thank you...for everything." I kissed him again brushed my hands through his hair before he set me down.

I received some Quileute jewelry from Emily, and it was absolutely beautiful. Charlie gave me a can of pepper spray and I rolled my eyes. He also gave me a poorly wrapped red pocket knife, and a photo album that was filled with photos of when I was a child and all my adventures in LaPush and Forks. It was amazing seeing old pictures of me and Jacob, how young Charlie and Billy looked.

"Sue put it together for you." I looked up at Sue who had a sweet smile across her face.

"Thank you, Sue. I really love it." I hugged her and then Charlie, thanking them again.

Quil gave me fishing wader boots that had a big, pink bow clumsily wrapped around them. "Seriously Quil?"

"Now you have no reason not to go fishing with us. Right Jake?" Quil and Jake laughed and I shook my head.

Jared's gift was next, and I could tell it was a dvd. I ripped the yellow paper and gave him an angry glare.

"What?" Jared stood up. "You know, you could take some pointers from her if you..."

I threw the boxed set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer at him and he darted. "That's not funny, Jared!" I stayed angry for as long as I could, but everyone was laughing so I wasn't far behind.

I was still laughing when I opened Seth's gift. "Aww, I love this game! Soul Calibur is my fave, I'm serious."

Seth grinned from ear to ear. "It's on now. I am the master with Mitsurugi, just watch. You're going down."

"Whatever! Xiangua can kick Mitsurugi's ass any day."

"Xiangua sucks!"

We laughed, ate butt loads of cake, and played games all day. It was so fun and I didn't know why I had ever steered away from parties before. This was perfect.

Before everyone went home, we held a moment of prayer for Leah, hoping she was alright wherever she was in the world. Sue wiped her eyes and received hugs from everyone. Seth slowly got up and exited the house with a blank expression across his face, slamming the door behind him.

After everyone said goodbyes and left, Jacob took a lantern from the hall closet and lit it.

"Come on, Bells." He took my hand, pulling me outside into the dark.

"Where are we going?" I giggled.

"I haven't given you your birthday present yet."

"Jake." I groaned. "You don't need to give me anything. You've already done enough."

"Shhh. Just, trust me. You'll like it."

We got to the door of his garage and he unlocked it, opening the rusty doors and leading me inside.

When he flipped the light on, I couldn't believe my eyes. That was not my truck. It was too beautiful, too nice, too _new_.

"What did you do to it?" I whispered as I stared at it's glorious paint job.

"You..you don't like it?" His brow scrunched and he walked to my side, wrapping an arm around me. "I thought, I mean..." He said gently with his deep voice.

I closed my eyes and dropped my head, tears sprinkling to the dusty floor. "I don't.._.like_ it."

Jacob cupped my cheek. "Bells, what's the matter ..."

"I love it. I love it so much. I can't believe you worked this hard on it. It's better than it was before. How did you do it?" It was fixed. Jacob fixed it.

He held me in his arms as I thanked him and cried against his warm chest.

"Oh, gosh." he sighed. "I was afraid you hated it, Bells."

"It's perfect." I sniffed.

"The engine should run smoothly, no bumpiness in the ride. I gave it a new paint job, and I kept the same color. Figured you liked it red. Has 3 clear coats over the paint, damn that stuff is toxic I tell you. My lungs were hurting like hell for a while." He chuckled.

"How did you have time to do this? How did I not know?"

"I'm good." He winked and gave me that sexy grin.

Then it hit me.

"Patrolling...you and Embry. You haven't been patrolling, Jake, you've been out here!"

Jacob shrugged.

"I don't even want to know how in the world you got the body fixed."

"Good. Don't ask." He released me and walked over to the truck, opening the passenger door. "It was not easy getting the parts I needed, but Billy knows some people...and well. Let's just say he's a great man."

"Yes." I nodded. "Yes he is." I rushed to Jacob and jumped in his arms, kissing him like he was my water in the middle of the most dry and hottest desert.

"Mmm. Bella." He managed to get out between our lips. "Bella. I just wanted to show you the interior." He struggled to turn his head toward the truck but I held his face in my hands tight and kissed him with desperation.

"No. Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me now." I panted between his lips, kissing him like a crazy woman and feeling the soft insides of his mouth with my tongue. He moaned and took me to the bed of the truck.

Jacob made slow, sweet love to me that night.

* * *

It had been 2 months since my birthday, and things were still absolutely wonderful. How could life be so good to me? How could life be so good to _anyone_?

"How are you feeling, Jake?"

"Mmmm. Tired. " He yawned and held me close as we snuggled in his bed. It had been a long day and we had been unpacking Christmas stuff from the attic, preparing for the Holidays. Billy always had to go all out when it came to decorating.

I was thankful that Billy didn't care that we slept together. I guess the fact I was Jacob's imprint had something to do with it.

"It's late. Go to sleep." I whispered and traced my fingers over his lips.

"I don't want to." He mumbled with his eyes closed. I sighed and took the little bear that was sticking out from under his pillow.

"This little guy is really cute." I held the love-worn little bear up and pressed it to Jake's face. "Mr. Blue says you're not allowed to have any more bad dreams ever again."

"Bells." He groaned and took the bear from my hands. "I can't sleep with this thing anymore." He looked at the old bear closely.

"Why not, Jake? He's always been on your bed, whether you want to admit you sleep with a teddy bear or not." I giggled.

"I don't sleep with teddy bears. I don't have bad dreams anymore, anyway. I don't dream at all."

"Jake..."

"Okay fine, maybe I used to sleep with teddy bears, but not anymore."

"You don't dream of me?" I pouted, jutting my bottom lip out.

"Oh now, don't make me..." He leaned in and took my lip between his teeth, then he kissed me gently. I tingled all over. "Of course I dream about you." He kissed my cheek and laid back down, sighing.

"Jacob, your mom made this you know." I took the bear from his hands.

"I know." He said quietly. "I remember her."

"You do? Oh my gosh." I couldn't breathe I was so happy for him. "Jake, that's wonderful!" I cupped his face and kissed his nose.

"I can't remember much because I was too young, but, I remember when she died."

"Wow. I'm so sorry." I felt so terrible to see the pain in his eyes. What a horrid thing to remember.

"Don't be sorry. It was a long time ago." He frowned and pursed his lips. "Do you ever wish that I was my old self again?"

I looked up into his eyes. They were beautiful and they were Jacob's. To me there was no 'old' him anymore. There was just Jacob, and I loved him just the way he was.

"Don't say that ever again." I frowned angrily at him.

"What? What did I say?"

"OLD self. I love you just the way you are."

"You don't ever wish that you could go back in time and stop me from fighting the Newborns?"

"Well, of course I do, Jacob. I would prevent that if there was some way that I could. But that's only to prevent all of this _fucking pain_ you have gone through. I love you just as much as I ever have, and I love you more each day." I laid my head against his bare chest and trailed my fingers over his collarbone.

"Do you mean it, Bella? Really?"

"I mean every word, Jake."

"Do you ever miss Edward?"

Oh. my. GOD.

"NO." I groaned and rolled my eyes. "Please don't talk about him ever again." I whined.

"Don't get upset, please. I just wonder sometimes."

"Well, stop wondering."

"He does't come around. I mean, he doesn't even fight for you. He's really stupid you know. I would fight for you if he took you away from me. I would never leave you alone."

"I know that. I know." My lips turned up into a sad smile. That statement was oh so true. He never gave up on me, never. Oh god, but it just got me thinking about the incident when Edward came to my room, giving me that stupid ring and...

"I would at least give you a note, a letter, something to keep you thinking of me." His tone was different when he said that. I got up from the bed and pulled on a hoodie, hoping I would get out of the room before he started asking questions.

"I'm going to get some hot chocolate. Want some?"

"Bella. I found a note in your room, and I know it's not your handwriting."

I ran a hand nervously through my hair.

"Your room smelled sweet that day, too. And what about the broken lamp on the floor? I don't remember that happening when we were..."

"The bed was shaking pretty bad, Jake, the lamp probably just fell..."

"No. No, Bella. It didn't fall. What happened?" He got out of the bed and walked to me, tilting his head down to see my eyes. "What happened? Did he come to see you? Did he do something to you while I was at Sam's? I'm here for you, Bella. You can tell me." His dark eyes pierced mine and I knew I needed to tell him.

"Edward came to my house while you were gone." God, I hated myself for being so honest.

"I _knew_ it." He growled. "What did he do Bella? What did that fucker do to you?" His eyes were searching mine wildly and I didn't know if he looked more worried or angry.

"Don't get mad, Jake." I whimpered and couldn't meet his eyes.

"I'm not mad at you, honey. I'm not mad. Just tell me what he did, please." I felt his burning hands trembling as he held my arms.

"He wanted me to have this ring that he got all the way from Norway and..."

"Ring..." He whispered.

"...he wouldn't leave, I was scared and I felt threatened so I hit him with my lamp..."

"Good girl."

"...I tried to run away but he was blocking the stairs and wouldn't let me go..."

"That little _shit_..."

"...he picked me up and I thought he was going to kidnap me and take me away to that mansion of his..."

"...Bella, wait, stop!" I stopped talking and he got close to my face. "Tell me where he lives."

"Why? You're not going to go anywhere near him, Jake, please." Now I was gripping _his_ arms.

"Tell me where that parasite lives, Bella!"

"No! You could get hurt!" I was nauseated just thinking of the two of them being in the same room together and what would happen. "He won't hurt me, but he can hurt you! You could get _killed,_Jacob!"

"Please, Bella. I have to do something about this." He held my cheek with his hand and traced my lips with his thumb. "I will not let that bloodsucker touch you again." His eyes glistened.

"He hasn't been back, Jake. He's not coming back."

"I won't let him come back."

"I don't want him to, Jake. I just want it to be us. Nobody but us."

"You have me. All of me. Forever." He breathed. "Bells..." I felt his chiseled arms wrap around me and squeeze me tight. He growled lowly. "I'm made to protect you. I will find that leech and I will make him wish he never existed."

Just then, there was a howl from outside and Jacob's eyes narrowed and his hands gripped me tighter. He knew what that howl meant, somehow. He knew and it was scaring the crap out of me.

"What? What is it Jacob, what's going on?"

"There's a vampire."


	37. Damaged

**NTYP Chapter 37**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer Owns Twilight**

**A/N: Wow, I can't believe all of the faves, reviews and alerts I've received since my last update. Thanks so much! **

**I am so very sorry for the late post, but real life has been so hard on me lately and I keep taking on more and more projects that I just run out of time ah! I hope you enjoy and Jacob hugs & wolfie love to all! The rest of the story is written, I just need to edit it. I will try to get chapters out to you sooner. **

**Leah's POV -**

**LA, California-**

His beautiful face was all I could see, his tall, dark and handsome form stood out from everything else. The room around us stretched and turned to streaks as my eyes zeroed in on his. So deep, so piercing.

_So perfect._

"Jacob." The words fell from my lips without my knowledge. I was completely entranced by the beautiful, perfect, god-like being in front of me. His eyes were wide and staring into mine and it was as if we were both hypnotized.

The beautiful man, wearing an expensive, dark coat, with perfect silky black, loose curls gently touching his ears and his forehead, took a few steps in my direction. His skin was a perfect tanned russet shade and it was beautiful. I could not close my mouth or blink as I was completely awestruck by how much he looked like_ him_.

"I'm sorry, you mistake me for the wrong man. I'm Silas." He removed the black trilby hat from atop his head. "It's nice to meet you, um..."

"Lee-Leah." I murmured, still unable to break eye contact with the perfectly kempt man now only a few feet away from me.

"Beautiful..." His eyes twinkled and he gave me a gorgeous grin. I gasped when I saw Jacob's smile etched into Silas' face.

"How freaky is that." I whispered, staring at his _perfect teeth and hypnotic, chocolate eyes_. FUCK, what was wrong with me? My thoughts sounded like I was fucking in love. Like I needed that shit in my life again! No, I wasn't going to stare at him longingly in his perfect eyes, hoping he would kiss me with those perfect, plump lips and hold me with those big, strong looking hands. The skin of his hands was so thick and had the perfect amount of roughness...so amazing, so warm and big and strong and protective.

"Leah?" He breathed. "What's going on?"

"Huh..."

"You're holding my hand...and staring at it?" His deep voice was so soothing and I felt strange feelings all throughout my body.

I looked up at him and he was not smiling, or finding my weird ass behavior amusing at all. He looked at me with complete adoration.

_SHIT. _I dropped his hand and turned around, trying so hard to force myself not look in his direction again. What was I doing just holding this person I'd never met before's hand? This guy was making me act weird and _think _even weirder things. I didn't like it, oh but hell yes I did. I turned around and looked at him again and he was still staring at me longingly, and I fucking wanted him to. I could feel my face stretched into a goofy grin.

No matter how I felt on the inside, all weird and warm and _happy _when I looked at him, I did not know anything about the handsome stranger. I had to stop being weird and tell him to go away so I could close the damn cafe. I painfully discarded the smile from my face and looked down at the beige and brown tiled floor.

"Well...Silas...we are closed and you are welcome to come back tomorrow when we open at 5 am." _Please please please come back tomorrow. _I kept the smile off of my face, and grabbed the broom and dustpan, taking them behind the counter with me.

"Right." He placed the hat back on his head and walked over to the counter to stand right in front of me.

Okay, he was still staring. Was this deliberate? Didn't he know it was rude to stare at a person?

Hell, I was fighting with myself not to stare at _him_. I was beginning to shake as my eyes felt magnetized, and it was almost painful not to look up into his dark eyes again. As a matter of fact, it was excruciating to fight it. I squeezed my eyes tight as I fought my desire to look up again. I held my breath and clumsily stuffed fresh napkins into the napkin dispensers. He smelled so good...So delicious. I could feel his eyes burning into me as I continued to stuff the napkins into the dispensers too roughly and crushing one of the metal contraptions in my hands.

I sighed loud and rolled my eyes, hoping he hadn't noticed what I had done. Then I was aware of his hand on the counter, only inches from mine. I stared at it hopelessly, unable to tear my eyes away from his masculine, yet soft looking hand that I wanted to touch so badly. My fingers unconsciously moved closer to his, and I couldn't stop them.

So I lifted my eyes and met Silas' deep gaze...the look in his eyes was smoldering...a longing in them that I found completely irresistible. Oh god, this man was sexy. This man was perfect. I don't know how long I had gone without taking a breath, but I didn't fucking care.

Silas' heart was beating rapidly, and I could hear every thump it made. I watched his throat bounce when he swallowed thickly as his eyes scanned my face as if to memorize every part of me. He wanted to memorize every part of me? Leah Clearwater? He was looking at _me_ like this? Longingly and affectionately and actually with interest. I had no idea that I looked just as entranced as he did at that moment.

There was a strange feeling between our bodies...almost like we were not separate people...but one...feeding off of each other in a way. My energy was his, it stretched between us and tried to pull us closer like...

_Oh my god, no. NO, I DID NOT IMPRINT._

His hand inched closer and touched mine, and I gasped at the warmth. He was hot, so hot. His touch filled me with such a fucking desire that I almost jumped over the counter and tore his clothes off; but I had to keep myself under control.

I knew I was breathing heavily now after I had gone so long avoiding breathing in his delicious smell, and I had to get away. My behavior was embarrassing, and this poor, sexy ass man did not need some wolf girl imprinting on him and freaking him the fuck out. If I didn't leave right at that moment, I knew I was going to suck his fine lips into my mouth and grip his firm looking ass without mercy. He would surely call the fucking cops on me.

I jerked away from his touch and ran into the restroom, shutting the door and leaning back against it, panting like a panther deprived of a delicious steak. I swallowed...The gorgeous man had made me salivate to the point of almost drooling.

"Oh my god, Leah, what have you done." I moaned. "He is a stranger, he won't understand, he won't." I went to the mirror and looked at myself. Fucking tears were forming in my eyes. I growled and blinked them away in irritance. "You're damaged. Nobody would want you. Nobody will ever want you."

_Calm down. Calm. I'm Calm_

"Okay, Leah. Get over it. GET OVER IT. You're going out there, and you're going to act normal, and you're going to fight this, right? Right. Okay, let's go."

When I walked back out into the lounge, he was gone. I was sad he was gone. My heart lurched. The only thing he had left behind was his delicious scent lingering in the air to mock me.

The decision I made that night after I had gone back home, was absolutely crazy and I have no other explanation except that I _needed_ to hear his voice. I took some change from my purse and walked down the metal staircase in the old apartment building. I walked out into the night, actually, early morning, my eyes following the lights of the few passing cars as I made way down the paved walk to the pay-phone.

I just needed to hear his voice.

* * *

**Bella's POV-**

**LaPush, Washington-**

"You have me. All of me. Forever." He breathed. "Bells..." I felt his chiseled arms wrap around me and squeeze me tight. "I'm made to protect you. I will find that leech and I will make him wish he never existed."

Just as I was becoming lost in his comforting heat, there was a howl from outside. Jacob's eyes narrowed and his hands gripped me tighter. He knew what that howl meant, somehow. He knew and it was scaring the crap out of me.

"What? What is it Jacob, what's going on?"

"There's a vampire."

His fingers were around my arms, his death grip only tightening with each tension filled second that quickly passed. Embry burst through the door, panting and wide eyed.

"Jake!" Embry yelled breathlessly.

My beautiful Jacob looked angry, terrified, and yet so longingly into my eyes and I could see a sheen of sweat beginning to form on his face. He pulled me to him and crushed his mouth to mine again, sighing as he let go. "I love you, Bells. I'll be back."

"Jake." I begged. "Jake, promise me!" Tears unwillingly welled up.

He looked at me with fear shadowing his swirling, mocha gaze and I exhaled when I saw him part his lips to speak, hoping and praying he would say it.

_Just say it_

"I promise." His soft mouth touched mine one more time, and then he was out the door with Embry so fast, before I could even say goodbye..._.again_. I was frozen and completely terrified. I reached up and touched my lips where his had just brushed so tenderly, feeling the ghost of what could be the last kiss I would ever receive from him. That thought brought such a feeling of grief over me, that I felt a twisting in the pit of my stomach, making me nauseated.

What was happening? Would Edward dare step foot on the reservation again knowing full well that choice would give the wolves right to tear him apart? Could there possibly be some way that Victoria was back from the – uh -_ dead_? Had she ever really been destroyed at all? So many questions I was asking myself and I was filled with a black dread that swept from deep within my stomach and up to my throat as it became too painful to breathe. I heard Jacob's voice shouting and several wolves outside howling their beautiful, yet unsettling music into the night.

These were war cries, I knew, and my chest began to tighten...Panic setting in. Should I have looked out the window and watched my beautiful red-brown wolf running for the trees along with his pack brothers, in eager determination to protect me? What good would that do anyway? I knew...I would have gotten to see his enormous, magnificent wolf one last time.

_No...don't say that, Bella. This is not the last time_

I did not know what to do, but I knew I couldn't just stand there and do nothing while Jake was out there trying to protect me from the white demon.

_Do I go and find Billy? Does he know what to do? What if he is as scared as I am? Should I just sit and do nothing at all? Just wait?_

I could feel my heart beating so hard beneath my breast, and I held my hand over the racing muscle. My eyes burned as I thought of what would happen if Jacob did not return to me this time.

"No." I choked out, picturing sharp fangs dripping with venom, sinking into the flesh of my Jacob. "No..." I began to breathe hard and the dizziness was making my mouth water with sickness. "_NO."_ He was mine now, and I'd be damned if one of those disgusting creatures took my life away from me. If something happened to him, I would completely fall apart. I would cease to function or to exist at all. I braced myself against Jacob's bed when my legs shook, daring me to fall to the ground.

I could not lose it now...no...I had to think straight. I had to hold myself together. Jake deserved nothing less than to come back home to a woman with strength and love and shelter within her embrace. I was not a little girl anymore. I couldn't let fear get the best of me...I couldn't let the thought of blood make me weak...I wasn't going to let the thought of a vampire hurting my wolf make me fall into a heap of sobs.

I had to be strong for him. The image of his beautiful, perfect skin glimmering with sweat...His God-like body covered in grass and dirt...blood dribbling from the corner of his perfect lips...It was all making me lose my mind again. So much for keeping it together. Would I find Jacob the same way I had months before? Sure, I had been left with less of him, a different Jacob Black...but this time, would I be left with a dead Jacob Black?

I involuntarily gagged, my stomach convulsing, trying to expel the chicken pot pie Jake and I had shared for dinner. My breaths began to quicken and I clenched my eyes closed, trying to will the fear and terrible images in my mind away. I swallowed the saliva that was pooling in the sides of my mouth and under my tongue, realizing that I could very well lose Jacob and it was completely out of my hands. Completely.

I choked back the vomit that was creeping up and took a few more deep breaths before I stumbled away from the bed. Running a hand through my hair frantically, my body still trembling, I moved my shaking legs to the door and made my way down the dark, narrow hall. I found Billy sitting in his chair in the middle of the lonely den...right where I knew he would be. The sound of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" was playing quietly from the tv that lit up the room. There was always some holiday movie playing since it was so near Christmas.

I turned my gaze from the tv over to the still figure of Jacob's old father sitting in his chair beside the couch. Billy's eyes were closed, his hands clasped in his lap, head down, and I knew he was praying. It was wrong of me to interrupt him in that moment, but I couldn't help it when I saw the crease between his brow and worry imprinted deeply into each wrinkle. His lips moved silently as he asked the spirits to protect his son.

I found myself walking to him slowly in the darkened room. With my legs like jello, I let myself fall around him...A limp embrace against his stiff body that quickly eased up to hold me. His arms cradled me, and I knew he needed this as much as I did. Knowing that it was okay to cry in front of him, that he would let me and understand in all ways...I let it out. Knowing that he needed me to be there, and I definitely needed him just the same, I let him comfort me. We were family...in some ways, we had always been. Billy's flesh and blood, my world, was out there, facing the enemy for the first time since his accident and we were both completely helpless. All we could do was pray...pray some more...and wait.

.

.

.

**Jacob's POV**

The smell was sickening...making the walls of my nostrils burn and my throat hurt. I held my breath for as long as I could before I had to finally inhale the air that was slightly heavy with dampness from the night's earlier downpour. With Embry and Quil flanked at my sides and Sam and Jared and the others just yards away, creating somewhat of a perimeter, we stalked slowly through the dark forest silently, listening for any sign of movement.

Bella was on my mind at all times, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I never needed to remind myself that I was doing this for her...Going after some demonic, parasite-thing, so that she would be safe. I just wanted her_ safe. _I didn't question it, or ask where it would get me. I knew I had no choice, and that it was my duty and expectation to be Chief. I didn't care at all. My beautiful Bella was my world, my entire being, the reason I never killed myself when I was in the throes of misery and confusion. It was not like that now. With Bella, I would never hurt again...and I swore to myself that I would never let Bella hurt a day in her life. She had taken care of me, and I her. She taught me what living was for with just the twinkle in her eye when she smiles at me.

Just us living together those few months had made me fall in love with her more every single day. I didn't know if I had always felt that way, but I was utterly whole with Bella...And I was positive it was not just the imprint talking. I was so in love with her.

Slowing to a walk and lowering my head between my shoulders, I directed my pack brothers through the woods. I wasn't sure what to expect from a bloodsucker, but the fact I had probably done this a hundred times in the past was one thing I had on my side. I was experienced, whether I could remember or not, and I knew how to lead those giant beasts like I was born to do it. I was a born leader and I had no choice but to face whatever was hiding in the black forest, and I was not backing down. I knew that If I could survive the shit I had been faced with after the Newborn incident, then this was going to be a piece of cake.

_'Jake.' _Paul's voice pierced my thought activity and I was too focused on the disgusting stench to be startled. _"Jake... Sam and Jared sensed movement and it was in the direction of..."_

'_I know.' _I snapped. '_I'm aware of what they see and hear, Paul.' _Had he forgotten that I could hear everyone's thoughts just as well as he could if not better?

'_Right. I was just trying to...well, I just thought...since...' _Paul's thoughts were quiet and hesitant.

'_Stop treating me like I am stupid.' _I growled. _"Wait, did you hear that?"_

The wolves stood still, waiting for it again. They had all heard what I had. It was a faint rustling of leaves, but there was no wind to have caused it. The sound was not coming from the ground, but high above us in the trees.

'_It could be an animal or something.' _Embry cut through the silence.

'_Right.' Quil_ snorted. '_Animals in La Push always smell like candy and shit...!'_

'_Quiet!' _I shot before stepping a paw forward, cracking sticks underneath. _"It's up there." _My sharp eyes scanned the trees through the darkness, but I didn't see anything. There was nothing...Only that sound again. This time it was to the right of us...and our heads followed the shaking branches.

'_Whatever it is, it's getting away.' Quil shouted. 'Jake...!'_

'_Move. Now.' _I darted out before them, rushing toward the fast moving thing in the trees. The wolves moved in swiftly behind me and they formed almost a beautiful, uniformed line as we were closing in on it.

_Why can't you turn and face me._

I growled and huffed heavily through my muzzle. I was grateful to have my strong, muscular wolf legs that easily pushed me fast through the woods without effort.

_Coward. Turn and face me!_

I dug my claws into the dirt and pushed my body forward, forcing every muscle in me to catapult my huge body into the air.

_'Jake!'_

_'Shit, Jacob.'_

_No!'_

_._

_._

_._

_._

**Bella's POV**

Billy's big, wrinkled hands caressed my hair as I hiccuped in his lap. We had prayed for almost an hour until our words became whispers and then nothing. I don't know how long I had sobbed in the poor old man's lap, but it had been long enough to drain me of all the tears I contained. Billy had begun humming a song I had never heard, yet it was so comforting, and if I hadn't been so worried for Jacob, I would have fallen asleep.

I gasped and lifted my head from Billy's lap when something, a noise outside, broke the quiet hum of Billy's song and the television. Just then, a bunch of sweaty, exhausted, and furious looking guys bulldozed through the front door. I immediately leapt from the floor and ran into Jacob's arms.

"Jake..." I pressed my face into his dirty chest. "Jake." His lips descended upon my head as I chanted his name. " You came back in one piece." I cried and sighed as I felt his rough fingertips slide against my skin.

"Whatever the hell it was, whoever the hell it was..." Jacob growled angrily and I looked up through my watery eyes to see him. He was looking over me and directly at his father...His eyes were alive with rage. "They're gone. They got away." Jacob's arms were crushing me to him again, and he rocked me gently, his chin planted on the top of my head. It felt so good to be in his embrace again, knowing he was alright.

"As if Jake's balls could get any smaller..." Paul slapped Jacob on the back, a sarcastic smirk splayed on his face. Jacob rolled his eyes and looked down into my mine. He was so handsome and he was alive. When I smiled, he returned it and kissed my nose. "...The Chief here decided it would make the night a little more exciting if he busted a crazy-ass pounce into pale face territory. Genius, I tell you, genius..."

"You what?" I screamed. Jake's eyes widened.

"No, I almost had it. It was a damn black shadow, but If I was just _this_ much closer, the thing would be history."

"So you didn't go into Cullen territory?"

"No, I didn't" He sighed. "That stupid treaty is really annoying. You realize I could've had it if it weren't for that fucking treaty? Do I need to have a talk with the Cullens about a "shared territory"..."

"NO! Please, just...avoid them, PLEASE." I pleaded with Jacob, afraid of an encounter between the he and Edward. The rest of the guys were shouting and arguing. They didn't like the idea of sharing anything with a vampire.

"I'm not going to let something hurt you because I can't get to it because of some damn territory law..."

"God, you're all sliced up, Jake." I whispered, trailing my fingers across his chest, noticing the shallow marks on his skin.

"Just be happy he's not worse off, hell, usually when someone leaps off a cliff onto sharp rocks, they don't come back as pretty as Jake looks." Quil stated with a smirk.

I stared at Jacob in disbelief. "You jumped off a cliff? What...are you crazy!" I shrieked and slapped his arm.

"I was in wolf form, so I knew I would survive it, Bella."

"The motherfucker came back, and we chased it straight into the Pacific." Paul said excitedly. "Jake here couldn't help himself and went for the bloodsucker again..."

"Don't you ever do that again, Jacob!" I was furious. He had no business jumping off cliffs. Was he trying to kill himself?

"You're one to talk, Bella." He said, very seriously. I was shocked.

I didn't know what to say, so I just continued to stare at him like a brainless twit.

"Did you see who it was?" Billy asked, trying hard to cover his pure elation and relief that his son was alright.

"No, but it was probably a Cullen." Embry stated solemnly from his stance against the front door.

"No." I said loudly. Jacob seemed interested in what I had to say, so I continued before another guy had the chance to speak first. "The Cullen's would have no reason to come here...to play games and run around in the woods. I mean, it would have to be someone else. Like maybe...maybe the Volturi."

"Fuck the Volturi. They're stupid as shit to think they can come around here after they saw what we did to all those Newborns."

"We had help from the leeches, remember, Paul?" Quil yelled from the kitchen where he was helping himself to some O.J. straight from the bottle.

"Yeah, well we did most of the work!" Jared proclaimed proudly, sticking his chest out.

"You boys go on home, Jacob should probably rest now." Billy said calmly, sounding tired.

"Dad, I'm alright." Jacob assured him, but the guys took it upon themselves to leave anyway. They were just waiting for the go ahead.

"You can go." Jacob told them. "It's late, and I can take care of the tick if it decides to show itself again." Jacob grinned and began to lead me to his bedroom. I smiled, knowing I was definitely safe with Jacob guarding over me.

"Goodnight you two. Bella, I expect you to let my son get some sleep tonight." Billy said with a serious tone, yet everyone knew he was teasing.

"Yeah, yeah." Jake turned around. "Don't you worry about that, old man."

"See ya." Paul was first out the door.

"Well, I'm out. It was fun, guys." Quil patted Billy on the shoulder.

"I promised I would stay at Seth's tonight. He's still not doing so good." Embry looked upset, but he smiled nonetheless. "Bye guys."

"Call me next time you wanna play fetch with a leech or something." Jared followed the other boys out of the house while scratching his butt and laughing. They slammed the door hard enough to make the house shake.

Jacob yawned and shook his head before climbing into bed next to me.

"Jake...?" I couldn't hinder the thought, and so I decided I would go ahead and ask whether I would get an answer or not. "How was it? I mean...how did it feel?"

"Hmm?"

"To chase after a vampire again."

"Oh...uh...well..." He stumbled over his words as if he didn't know the answer himself.

"Nevermind. You can ask to kiss me now, if you want. Then later, you can tell me how it felt to run after the leech." I tried not to smile.

"Who says I was gonna ask?"

"Well?"

"Ah well...I don't think I'm gonna ask."

"Ha! And why not? You think you can just kiss me whenever you want?" I asked with an alluring tone.

"Damn right I can, Swan. I can kiss you how I want, when I want, and you know why?"

"Why?" I gasped, my eyes wide, waiting for his answer even though I knew it already.

"Because you want it...Bad." His voice was deep and his eyes sultry. He licked his lips, making them look so plump and juicy. Then he moved in for it.

"Uh...Jacob?" I whispered just before our lips felt what they were dying to feel.

"Yeah?"

"You are gonna shower first, right?"

He laughed before taking my face in both his warm hands.

"Am I too dirty for you, baby?"

"Ugh!" I pulled the pillow from under my head and hit him with it...Hard. "Just go! And I'm still mad at you for being so reckless tonight. I worry about you."

"Hey, alright, alright. I'm going, I'm going." He complained as he got up from the bed. Just then, the phone began to ring through the house. I thought it was an odd time for a phone call, but what the hell, nothing was weird in my life, after all.

"I got it!" Billy called from down the hall. The poor man never slept.

Giggling at his sexy -purposeful -swagger, I watched Jake walk away from me, seeing the small nicks on his sides and his back healing fast. He stopped once he reached the doorway and turned to look at me. He looked down, but then his face softened and a small smile met the corner of his lips.

"It felt good, Bells."


End file.
